The War on Haloween begins

[NMMNG]

The Danger of Celebrating Halloween (Do read the full story to get all of the nutty goodness)

By Kimberly Daniels of Kimberly Daniels Ministries in Charisma Magazine

Halloween—October 31—is considered a holiday in the United States. In fact, it rivals Christmas with regard to how widely celebrated it is. Stores that sell only Halloween-related paraphernalia open up a few months before the day and close shortly after it ends. But is Halloween a holiday that Christians should be observing?

<snip>

Lucifer is a part of the demonic godhead. Remember, everything God has, the devil has a counterfeit. Halloween is a counterfeit holy day that is dedicated to celebrating the demonic trinity of : the Luciferian Spirit (the false father); the Antichrist Spirit (the false holy spirit); and the Spirit of Belial (the false son).

<snip>

The word "occult" means "secret." The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:

Sex with demons
Orgies between animals and humans
Animal and human sacrifices
Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
Revel nights
Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
Release of "time-released" curses against the innocent and the ignorant.
<snip>

Look out! They're here to sacrifice your babies and have an orgy with your pets!

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Sorry. You can't pay me to visit that link. :^P

[yellerpup]

2. Hilarious fear mongering.

Guess I'm a little guilty, tho' -- my kitteh loves to watch when we have sex.

[Curmudgeoness]

3. Oh...my...god! OMG is this funny.

It is incredible that someone can turn a benign day into something so sinister that we should all hide under the bed for the whole month of October.

Gotta love this part: "For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches. I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

So.....does this mean that Hershey and Nestles employ witches? Or do they just infiltrate the factories before Halloween.

Speaking of Halloween---or Hallow's Eve---this is not a holiday (or holy day) in anyone's mind but hers. It is the eve of All Saint's Day, and that is a supposed holy day. Give me a break that it is second only to Christmas as a "holiday".

This woman is certifiable.

[Silent3]

5. As far as retailers are concerned...

...Halloween (whether you classify it as a "holiday" or not) is second only to Christmas as a money-making yearly occasion. I'd guess most Americans would rank Thanksgiving as second to Christmas in how important they consider the holiday, but Thanksgiving doesn't come close to either Christmas or Halloween for commercialization.

This woman in the OP is still insane, of course, but I can't fault her on where she ranks Halloween in American culture.

[Curmudgeoness]

13. Occasion, yes. Money-making, yes. Holiday, no.

I don't know anyone who would classify it as a holiday.

Well, at least I wouldn't. I get holidays off work. And this is a point she made ad nauseum---holiday/holy day.

[NMMNG]

6. Imagine living in that sort of fear all the time

Demons everywhere. Everything is evil, Satanic, out to get you. People and things are just working overtime to trip you up and get you to sin so you'll be lost forever.

Yes, she's certifiable.

[Curmudgeoness]

11. Now that is a scary thought. I cannot imagine. nt

[d_r]

12. The Autumn people will get you

By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, Whoever knocks!

[LiberalEsto]

4. But it's Satan's birthday!

One of the looneytunes big box churches in my part of Maryland says Halloween is celebrated in honor of Satan's birthday.

Whatever.

[Ferret Annica]

7. Yes us evil Wicca practitioners want to suck everyone's brains our with a straw

.... not. I had people dog me about having it on my dog tags and found out how pervasive the holy rollers were in the Army. Figures with every other sort of intolerent fascist line of attack these people are currently engaged in they would finally get around to burning us witches.

[NMMNG]

10. It's because you worship Satan

According to people like her, anybody who doesn't follow her god worships Satan (including atheists).

I feel for you re: the military. I know they've been taken over by evangelical whackjobs.

[jwirr]

8. Too late - all 9 great grandchildren know what they want to be.

[RKP5637]

9. I think I'll start celebrating Halloween every Sunday, it's a hell of a lot

more fun, just my kind of people, I guess.

[Curmudgeoness]

14. Sacrilege! You will be going to hell for sure!

But you are right---Halloween IS a lot of fun. :party:

[NMMNG]

15. We'll have lots of great company there

:thumbsup:

[RKP5637]

16. Given the choice between heaven with a bunch of fundies, I would rather

:party: :hi:

[Curmudgeoness]

17. Ditto----I'm meet you there.

:hi:

[onager]

18. Xian "Alternative Halloween" Play

Samuel Beckett, eat your heart out!

Final Judgment (Hell House) Church Halloween Alternative Play - This play was directed and edited by Dawn Farabee for the Living Word Church in Randleman, NC

WARNING: use the fast-forward, or this will be 18:33 of your life you will never get back. And you'll regret that when you are being buggered by demons in Hell, as depicted here. I think. But maybe I just have an over-active imagination.

I also suspect Jesus was copping a feel in one scene.

No evidence of golden streets. But judging by ol' Jesus' bulgy robe - around his STOMACH, you pervs - Heaven must be well-paved with Pizza Huts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOu5h7Qievc

[RKP5637]

19. "Heaven must be well-paved with Pizza Huts." LOL

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[NMMNG]

20. What was Jesus doing

with that girl's head in his lap?

My wife and I have thought about doing our own Hell House. Instead of the usual bilge in Hell Houses it would depict life under theocracy. That's what hell would be for us.

[Odin2005]

21. Sounds like a Fundy nut went to a Wicca ceremony while on some bad acid!

:rofl:

[Behind the Aegis]

22. "time-released" curses? I gots to get me those spells!

Ex-boyfriend fucked you over? Try our "time release" curse! He will "release" before it's "time!"

Sometimes these people are so fucking wacky I don't know whether to piss my pants in fear or laughter.

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

23. I love Halloween! It means I can out without a costume!

I was given a costume though, but I don't think it fits: