What if God held a Rapture and nobody came?

[BushOut06]

If any of you know much about the New Testament, don't you think the right-winger nutjobs bear a striking similarity to the Pharisees, whom Jesus spent so much of his time chastising? I'd love to see the look on Pat Robertson's face - then again, maybe he is the antichrist ;) .

[rpannier]

1. I saw a great bumper sticker that read...

In Case of Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?

[BushOut06]

2. I don't know about you, but I'm heading straight for Jerry Falwell's house

Either I'm going to get a shitload of free crap, or I get to give him the bad news in person. Either way, I win! Next on my "rapture tour" is Benny Hinn's palace.

[DoYouEverWonder]

3. Pat Robertson's got a gorgeous place

up in Gatlinburg, TN. Great view of the town. We could turn it into a bed and breakfast.

[rpannier]

6. What would suck would be...

if there was a rapture and God took us. I mean...I'd miss out on getting stuff from falwell and robertson.

[BushOut06]

7. Well, look on the bright side in that case...

We'd be able to look down from heaven and see Falwell, Robertson, and company burning in hell.

[rpannier]

9. Then we could live in their houses and drive their cars

That'd be a good deal.

[Vogon_Glory]

4. If The Rapture Really Happens, The Results Will Be Disappointing...

I'm convinced that if the Rapture really happens (Which I doubt), the genuine, believing Christians who actually come close to practicing Christianity (Along with a lot of the rest of those who work for the Light) will be off to heaven, and that we'll be stuck with the hypocrites and polyester Pharisees current leading the so-called "Christian" right.



:tinfoilhat: :banghead:

[BushOut06]

5. Yep, my thoughts exactly

If you were God, who would you rather have with you in heaven? A self-sacrificing Buddhist or a self-righteous right-wingnut?

BTW, love your name! Is it just me, or does John Madden resemble a Vogon?

[AntiCoup2K4]

13. Unless he starts reading really bad poetry during football telecasts....

....we will never truly know. But would that mean the bus is really an interstellar construction ship?

[zbdent]

14. Doesn't Vogon poetry usually signal

the coming end of a particular small blue planet in the backwater spiral of the unfashionable part of the galaxy ?

[Vogon_Glory]

16. Vogon Poetry Usually Signals...

Vogon poetry usually signals what Texans would characterize as the cussedness of the Vogon race, not the destruction of M-class planets orbiting Sol.

[zbdent]

8. There's going to be a huge bunch of RW religious righties who are

going to sit around wondering where all the people went . . .

edited to add - especially the ones with the bumper sticker which says "If the Rapture comes, someone grab my wheel!"

[Gato Moteado]

10. exactamundo! see my thread from last night.......

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x5713822

[ochazuke]

11. What if all the 'wrong' people rapture?

Pat Robertson, et.al. being left behind and explaining how what really happened was a reverse rapture, by which God sent all the bad people to hell...it would be too funny. Especially since the jails are still full and Saddam's there cackling away.

[QC]

12. Religion threads go in the religion forum.

According to the DU rules: "...discussions that are primarily focused on theological questions, including discussions about the truth or untruth of certain religious beliefs, are not permitted in the General Discussion forum, and must instead be posted in the Religion/Theology forum."

[TechBear_Seattle]

15. The End Times already occured, as predicted, on time and under budget

The Book of Revelations isn't a prophesy; it is a first hand account of actual events. The Lake of Fire, however, was just allegory; the unredeemable were cast in to this world to live. We -- including Falwell, Robertson, Dobson and the rest -- are the bereft-of-all-real-hope descendants of cast-aways from about 2000 years ago.

As a theory, I think it fits very well with observed reality.

[LiberalArkie]

17. I had a dream many years ago.

I had a dream many years ago.
I dreamed about a lady who was dressed in fur complaining to her pastor about people sleeping on the church steps. She complained about having to step over the homeless people on the street and all the street walkers.

That Sunday the pastor of the church gave a wonderful sermon about the coming rapture, about how God would bring all his faithful to him, about how all those followed the self-sacrifice taught by Jesus and how those who forgave the ones who had done ill to them were all brought up to God.

That Sunday, a miracle happened. All the dregs of society, the poor, the homeless all disappeared without a trace. All the church was ecstatic. The pastor led all the people in the church in prayer that God would bring the rapture.