From The Onion - Super Bowl Most Watched Show Ever

[joeybee12]

Claire Belew,
Brass Plater
"Not only that, but the weight of the average viewer has increased by about 42 pounds since then."

Sascha Clamp,
Systems Analyst
"I tuned in mainly for the Tim Tebow ad. I'm still on the fence about whether he should have been aborted. I'll know better once he's drafted into the NFL and plays four or more seasons as a starter."

Pete Weymouth,
Frame Nailer
"To keep its ratings high, maybe CBS just needs to play hit songs from the Who during most of its TV shows. Oh, wait."

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The second one is soooooooooooo rude and sooooooooooo funny! I'm crying over it!