How should we hold parents accountable for bad parenting that damages their children's education?

[bluestateguy]

Amid all of this chatter about holding teachers and their unions accountable, I think it's high time we start holding parents accountable for the kind of negligent parenting that damages their child's education. And then these same parents blame the teachers and the mean old unions for their kid being a dumb dumb.

Parents who don't read to their children, don't enforce discipline in the house, overindulge their kids with video games (boys) and clothes (usually girls), don't make their kids do their homework, skip out on parent-teacher conferences, don't care of their kid is a truant, or a junior hoodlum in training. Parents who don't teach their children the value of education and are more concerned with being their son or daughter's "friend" rather than a parent. That's what I'm talking about.

No throwing your hands up and saying it can't be done. Let's have some solutions here.

[pnwmom]

1. We can't force all tired, overworked parents to read to their children,

or enforce the same standards of discipline, or to spend hours making sure their kids do their homework, etc., etc.

You think that, in a free country, there are solutions to these problems? Then what are yours?

[Curmudgeoness]

5. Yet everyone wants to put all of this responsibility on teachers,

plus much more. Teachers have many more kids in their charge than any parent, they are tired and overworked too. But you damned well better enfore the same standards of discipline in a classroom. No parent should have to spend hours making sure homework is done, if you raised the child properly, it would not have to be a huge fight every day.

If a parent is not willing to take any responsibility for the child that they brought into the world, then we are up shit creek without a paddle.

[azurnoir]

6. Ummm what is their career choice ah teaching right?

yet we see OP's like this one, it is a ridiculous assumption to make that parents are the sole problem it's never teachers, that's simply BS.
I have 4 kids ages 33 to 14, I have dealt with public schools constantly since 1983- the present and will be for a few more years to come and have seen it all from very good to very bad and can say it's both
I have with with all of my kids at various times realized I was the one doing all the teaching, very little to nothing was happening in the school setting, yet that's my fault?

All four of my kids have gone to school in inner-city settings both Minneapolis and St Paul

[LWolf]

14. Career choice: teaching. Not parenting. nt

[The Philosopher]

15. So

If a parent didn't choose to have children, they're exempt from any responsibility in the child's education? Can they be openly hostile to the child's learning, as some parents are (for a variety of reasons)?

Please don't insult a group of people because you felt the OP was insulting you (it was not).

[azurnoir]

17. what group was I 'insulting'? I pointed out fact based on almost

3 decades of experience with the public school system

[Taitertots]

25. What makes you think teaching Your children isn't something You should be doing?

"I have with with all of my kids at various times realized I was the one doing all the teaching, very little to nothing was happening in the school setting, yet that's my fault?"
That is what you are supposed to be doing. It is a ridiculous assumption that you think you shouldn't have to take on the lion's share of raising and educating your own children.

[texshelters]

28. It's the economy, stupid

the schools aren't failing.
http://texshelters.wordpress.com/2011/03/12/accepted-assumptions-that-are-wrong-our-public-schools-are-failing/

And, we all take a shared responsibility in helping children learn. Stop the blame game. Every time you blame a teacher, or a parent, an angel dies and Koch brother smiles. They like that we sit here and fight each other instead of looking for solutions.

Keep it up at your own peril.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

[pnwmom]

9. The question I was addressing was how to hold parents accountable.

Not whether I thought parents should support their children's education.

Of course they should. But I don't see a way to hold them accountable, other than the way that life itself -- and their children's future selves -- will hold them accountable.

[texshelters]

29. And here I thought

the point was to point out that teachers can't control everything that goes into a child's education and that perhaps there are other factors involved in one student's falling test scores. Besides, tests are not a valid way to show achievement. http://www.heinemann.com/products/E00325.aspx

Besides, the schools aren't failing, the economy is:
http://texshelters.wordpress.com/2011/03/12/accepted-assumptions-that-are-wrong-our-public-schools-are-failing/

Peace,
Tex Shelters

[pnwmom]

10. dupe

[sam sarrha]

2. Maine fines parents and charges them for parenting classes last i heard

[pacalo]

3. It does begin with the parents! When a parent shows interest in education, the attitude

transfers to the child. The children who don't get help at home have parent(s) who are probably too exhausted from having to work two jobs, or what have you. Trying to enforce their attention on their children isn't the answer, imo.

Perhaps creating a buddy system at school, where the at-risk children are given one-on-one help by other students in higher grade levels. Or enlisting the help of parent volunteers to call on parents of at-risk students to ignite an interest in their children's education.

This is a tough problem to solve. And it's one more facet of a teacher's job that begs for understanding & a little leeway when test scores are evaluated (demographics & home situations should be taken into account; these issues aren't the teachers' fault).

[exboyfil]

19. I work 50 hours per week and I still have time

to Homeschool my youngest daughter in English, Social Studies, and Biology. I also tutor both daughters in Math (less so for my older one now) and Science. I recognize the value of education, and I actually enjoy spending time with my daughters doing these activities. I am not saying all parents can do this, but what I am saying is that being a parent means self sacrifice. I loved my father, but when he got off of work he would go out drinking for 2-3 hours after work and not interact much with me. I think he missed alot by doing this.

A buddy system at work is destined to fail. The primary reason is that my kids are already stressed with five or six academic classes. They work as much as me when you count their school time and their homework time (maybe even more). The few times my daughter has tried to tutor her friends have not gone well. Even if you get an A in a class, it is still unlikely you can successfully tutor. This was in Physical Science, and I actually found the teacher really did not have a good grasp of Physics either (even though I love her for her ability to inspire girls to go into Science).

I would like to volunteer to assist children once mine are on their own. I have helped tutor some of my daughters' friends, but my primary focus is my children, and I really don't have time for other children right now.

[LiberalFighter]

4. They don't need fines by the government.

The parents will suffer the consequences later on when their children are not as productive as could be.

Of course, that would also mean that others in contact with those children will also suffer the consequences to some degree.

[jody]

7. Perhaps not all fertile humans should have children? n/t

[Ilsa]

8. I agree. But I don't know if there is a solution other than

Parents trying to look ahead to what they are creating in their children: laziness and shallow values. If the parents don't value education, I don't see how the kids will.

I certainly don't blame teachers for my kids' issues.

[pnwmom]

11. "For their kid being a dumb dumb"????

If you're a teacher, I'm not sure you're in the right profession.

[femmocrat]

12. They can be fined for their child's absenteeism/truancy here.

Our district does haul them to the magistrate.

As for other poor parenting skills, some of them will end up paying for it later when they have to bail their kids out of jail.

Every time I see one of my former students' names in the "police blotter" in the local paper, I wonder why the parents didn't just listen to us when their kids were in school. We see the same behavior patterns over and over and are damn good predictors of how these kids will turn out. Too many parents are just in denial.

You didn't mention the parents who have their own violations of the law. IMO, the children should be taken away from parents who break the law. Of course.... there aren't enough good foster homes for all of them!

But we should fire all those over-paid public employees who have to deal with these problems.... that will really solve the dilemma!

[FBaggins]

13. What on earth makes you think they need to be "held" accountable???

The already ARE accountable.

The consequences are already more significant than any fine. When they fail as parents, their children are more likely to fail in life.

That's already the greatest punishment a parent can receive.

[Taitertots]

24. They are certainly not accountable to the damage done to everyone else

When their stupid children drag down everyone at school around them. When their ignorant children grown into useless tools and everyone else has to care for them. When they become criminals due to lack of opportunity or discipline and everyone in society suffers

[The Philosopher]

16. I'm a big fan

of after school programs. If people would stop supporting the Republican view of funding education (and taxes in general), you could hire enough teachers to run after school programs that would help a student not only with tutoring, but discovering something new that regular class hours couldn't provide (like carving wood sculptures with chainsaws?).

These programs could also be present to provide parental advice/assistance as well as adult education opportunities.

But, a small workforce with no experience and little training can work just as well.

[southerncrone]

18. For starters, the truancy laws shouldbe more stringent & ENFORCED!

Some states & districts may have tighter laws & better enforcement than TN. We had very serious truancy enforcement in decades past. Now....it is an after thought. Currently one of our asst directors has it a one of his responsibilities. Letters are sent out, parents go to court, slap on wrist, kids mandated to attend school, then drop out next year or move.

Contacting parents WHENEVER students are absent. This might stop frivolous absences & let parents know about hooky every time.
Some of your systems may do this. Mine doesn't.

Custodial parents should be made to do community service WITH THEIR CHILD...pick up trash, paint, etc., whenever kid gets in trouble.

Required parenting classes would also help. Corporate America should also help shoulder some of the responsibility by letting parents off work to fulfill these responsibilities.

[Maat]

20. Judge not lest ye be judged ...

I don't think that this type of judgment is appropriate. Are you a teacher? You're job is to teach ... period ... not to judge anyone else's parenting. Just to do your best. That's this retired social worker's two cents' worth.

Even though we homeschool, my daughter goes to an art class (a school vendor). The art teacher commented on my kid wearing her favorite art shirt twice to class, and on her being shy. I told her that I owed her a well-groomed, polite kid who would try her best. My kid's personality was NOT her concern. I then asked her if we were straight on that - and she answered affirmatively. Otherwise, I'd have canned her.

I'm so glad I don't generally have to have a bunch of busybodies judging either my parenting or my kid.

[FBaggins]

21. I think that's really what the OP is saying too.

Nobody likes being judged by others... particularly others who they don't think are in a position to judge.

Teachers find themselves under judgment (as a group) more and more frequently these days. This reflects an entirely natural (if inappropriate) reaction.

[Maat]

22. I can see that perspective (n/t).

[Taitertots]

26. Teachers are the people being judged, not the parents

Which is the whole problem.

"I'm so glad I don't generally have to have a bunch of busybodies judging either my parenting or my kid."
Which is exactly the problem. Too many (Not you) people fail to properly raise their children and teachers, not parents are judged for this failure. We need to hold parents accountable for their failures instead of blaming teachers.

You have a very bad attitude about your parenting. Getting rid of anyone who has anything negative about your daughter is exactly what is wrong with our education system. You would rather disregard the words of highly educated experts than have to face real criticism of your daughter.

[vim876]

23. A solution.

Comprehensive sex ed, leading to fewer unplanned pregnancies, and thus fewer unprepared and unengaged parents. A social safety net would also help, in that single moms working 3 jobs don't have time to parent.

[texshelters]

27. We should also test the DNA of failing student's parents

to find out what is faulty in their genes that makes their kids so stupid.

The blame game is not useful, and certainly blaming teachers for a failing student when there are myriad of other causes is what the lazy or people with a political agenda (destroy unions) do. Besides, the schools aren't failing. It's the economy, stupid.

http://texshelters.wordpress.com/2011/03/12/accepted-assumptions-that-are-wrong-our-public-schools-are-failing/

Peace,
Tex Shelters