I Have a question for my DU GLBT friends.

[MarianJack]

I know that I don't post frequently and for the last 5 or 6 weeks we didn't have a computer after ours crashed. I wrote a thread about my son a few months ago. Here's the link...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1810571

As you can see, a very good friend of my son's came out to him near the end of their 5th grade year. I spoke to the Principal of their school and, mentioning NO NAMES, alerted her that one hf her 6th grade students may get some anti-gay schoolyard bullying and that my son may get some collateral bullying for being this young man's friend. When the principal, who is someone who has earned my wife's and my respect and trust MANY times over, asked for the other student's name, I declined because I didn't think that I had even the remotest right to out him. I considered it to be his right and his alone to do.

My son has said that there have been some very isolated cases of name calling and threats and the little homophobic turd heads are careful to not do it in front of or within ear shot of the faculty. As of yet, there has been no violence.

My question to you is this; was I right in not giving the principal the name? On the one hand I may have been able to make a little more protection to the boy, but on the other hand, I didn't believe intellectually or feel emotionally that it was my right to do. In the nearly 22 years that I've been in recovery from alcoholism, I've learned that I have the right to reveal MY alcoholism but not anyone else's. I am very uncomfortable revealing something that another person considers their private business. I'd also hate it if something happens to my son's friend that I might have been able to prevent.

Thank you for reading and thank you for your feedback.

PEACE!

BTW, when we voted here in Maine yesterday, my wife and I happily and proudly signed the petition to get the right to marriage licenses for same sex couples on the ballot for an upcoming election!

[marew]

1. As a former school social worker...

I think you did the exact right thing. I believe your judgment is right on target. You must be a really great, caring person. BTW, I have two gay guys living next door here in FL and they are like the kid brothers I never had.

[MarianJack]

2. My wife's best friend...

...has been married to another woman for about 10 years. When we all get together we're like the husbands when my wife and her friend are talking. I say, with nothing but love and respect for my wife's friend's spouse, that she is my son's favorite "uncle". 2+ years ago when we were homeless, the first people who offered help were these 2 ladies, and they wanted us to move in with them.

Thank you for your feedback.

PEACE!

[Booster]

3. You handled it perfectly. I just wish there were more people in

the world like you. Pat yourself on the back and here's a hug from me.:hug:

[MarianJack]

4. Thank you, Booster and a BIG...

... :hug: back at'cha!

Unfortunately, up here in Maine some teabagger state legislators were able to stop some anti-bullying bills because they thought it "promoted the gay agenda". You know that agenda. it's just like those pesky black people in the 50s or those suffragettes in the early 20th century. How dare those gay people want to be treated with actual dignity!

We'll take it back in 2012 and get a decent governor in 2014.

PEACE!

[WillParkinson]

5. Absolutely...

I might feel differently if, perhaps, the young man in question was already being physically hurt by bullies. However you and your son seem to have very level heads on your shoulders and I believe you made the right decision and also believe he will make the right one, too, by sticking with his friend.

[MarianJack]

6. Thank you WillParkinson.

For all the times I want to kick my son's little rump for him, he does make me proud when the chips are down!

PEACE!

[beyurslf]

7. I think you were absolutely right. if you son says that something physical begins to happen,

then you would want to start naming names. Hopefully, your son will name those who are doing it too. It sounds like he will!

[MarianJack]

8. My son has been raised non-violently but with courage.

He wouldn't hesitate to name those who perpetrate violence on his friend and he.

BTW, to reflects positively on the kids in my son's school, he is far from the only friend this young man has, but he is one of the closer ones.

PEACE!

[Swede Atlanta]

9. You handled this just right....

You balanced the need to protect the child with his right to privacy for something that he had confided in your son. Without knowing the details, the more people that know the greater chance there is this information gets into the wrong hands including possibly the boy's parents, neighbors, church leaders, etc.

If this escalates to violence then this needs to be treated as violence, pure and simple. While it may also be a hate crime, it is violence and should be addressed as such.

[MarianJack]

11. Thank you, Swede

I totally agree that school violence is wrong no matter what the reason!

PEACE!

[HillWilliam]

10. Thanks for your careful handling of the situation

You're absolutely right -- it wasn't up to you to out your son's friend. It was most rude of the principal to ask, though. Perhaps (s)he was born in a barn!

If more people stopped for just a moment to put the shoe on the other foot ("what if this was concerning my recovery; how would I feel?"), there would be a lot less busybody-ing and a lot more compassion in the world. Thank heaven for you.

[MarianJack]

12. Thank You.

I believe that the Principal was sincerly thinking of the child's welfare. She's been principal for 5 years now and hass earned great respect in our community. I simply wrote this off as a well intentioned mistake in judgement.

PEACE!