Anyone want to offer advice on this one...teen driving

[cally]

I open the mail to find that I have a ticket for running a red light except it was my teen. I get very angry and then learn some more info. My teen was following my husband who drives like a maniac. I refuse to follow him anywhere because he doesn't slow up for the person behind. My daughter was following him when we were both angry at her. She ran through the red light to keep up so he wouldn't be upset, he pulled over and explained that it's her responsiblity to follow the rules. So a few weeks later we get the ticket. I get it because the car is registered to me.

So, she has one other traffic violation. Speeding. She paid the fine, went to traffic court. The ticket is for me. If I send it in to indicate that she was driving, she'll lose her license for a few months. You can't get two traffic violations before you are 18. I can pay this and make her pay me back. What would you do??

[LeftyMom]

1. I'd indicate that she was driving

but I'd pay the fine. My thinking is that I'd want to impress upon her that what I was upset about wasn't the money, it was the bad judgement. Speeding and running a red light intentionally would indicate to me that she really doesn't have the judgement needed to drive.

I'm really not coming at this from a punitive "riding the bus for a couple months will teach her!" viewpoint, but she could've killed someone when she ran that light.

The tough lesson now could save a lot of heartbreak later.

(Sorry if that seems harsh, but I have a friend who spend two weeks in a coma and lost an arm because some kid in his Dad's car lost control going 90 on the freeway and hit him while he was standing behind his girlfriend's stalled pickup on the shoulder. I wish that kid's Dad had taken his keys away before he ruined another guy's life and took away his capacity to earn a living.)

[SoCalDem]

2. Valium... FOR THE PARENTS>>>

Seriously.. This was our BIGGEST issue, because we live in a very high insurance state.. We just put our foot down, and insisted that they pay for the amount that OUR insurance went up when they started driving.. We insisted that they carry the MAXIMUM, which pissed them off to no end every time they heard the commercials for $50 a month insurance..

I always told them that THEIR driving was NOT a convenience for US, so if THEY wanted to drive, it was THEIR responsibility to pay for the pleasure of it. We never made them BUY a car, but insurance was the biggie..

We esplained it this way..

US:.. "So do you really think that if you hit a brand new BMW, that the owner will be "satisfied" that you only have 5K insurance? and that they will pay for the additional cost of repairing their car, because they'll understand that you're only a kid??

Them:.. But Mom.. I can't afford $200 a month for insurance..

US: Then you can't afford to drive...


The funny thing.. as often as they complained about it and said the couldn't WAIT til they were on their own, so they could buy cheap insurance...once they were on their own, they never gave up the maximum coverage :)

Our middle son was not allowed to even get a license and drive.. (He was a very irresponsible boy, and we just flat-out forbade it)

Our youngest waited until he was a Senior in HS to even get a license, because we did not allow him to work.. He was an honor student and played Club Soccer, so he never really had the time to fool with a job and a car until then..

I guess we were just meanies:)