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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-17-05 07:34 PM
Original message
My SEVEN year old "forged" my signature...
Edited on Mon Jan-17-05 07:40 PM by blondeatlast
Not well, as you can imagine, but I'm just earthshaken that he could have even thought of it. So is his pediatrician, whom I absolutely trust.

She has referred him to a psychiatrist.

I need advice, hugs, whatever "nice" you can offer. Has anyone experienced similar with their child?

:cry:

Yes, this is the same kid referenced in "World's Worst Parenting Day." His behavior lately is decidely NOT what we are used to from him. He has, up til now, been a wonderful, charming little wonder most of the time.

Edit: On a school behavior slip; nothing major, but the fact that he thought it was just floors me as well.
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 05:57 AM
Response to Original message
1. Here's a hug for you (((Mom)))
I saw your other thread too:hug: I'm sorry you're having some tough times. Parenting, tain't nuthin like it noweres ;-)

A few items to offer and share :-) Take what you like if anything, and leave the rest.

First and foremost I like to remind mothers, always trust your mothers-gut feelings and instincts. No one knows your child as you do and mothers especially IMHO are much more attuned to the subtle and non-verbal cues of their babies. Trust yourself is number one:thumbsup: That's a reminder for all the Mama's.

"His behavior lately is decidedly NOT what we are used to from him."
That sentence concerns me a bit. Sudden turn around in behavior like that can stem from a lot of things. A new bully at school or in the neighborhood, peer pressured pranks and dares, etc. But a psychiatrist though? It doesn't sound like he's ever been a real naughty boy before so I'm not understanding that logic, seems a might over board. Maybe some family therapy with a counselor sure but a psychiatrists? Too easy to push pills in little kids so they're more manageable for teachers, parents, etc., if ya ask me:grr:

I saw the word 'strict' used in your other thread. It's not the "strict" part of the equation that works. It's the consistency and the follow through of the consequences that works wonders - If you say it, mean it then follow through every time. Don't go off with a you're grounded for 3 years:-( but if it means losing a privilege(s) for however long you think is appropriate and reasonable for your child then follow through and stick to it.

If I shared my experiences then I would have to see a psychiatrist:silly: Ooh not purdy at all. Suffice it to say that by the time my darling little stepson was in the second grade? He was expelled from ever attending that school again. Not just for the remainder of the school year but from all future years. The second grade x( Gads his first week in kindergarten he was sent to the principals 4 out of 5 days :eyes: geeeeeeeesh. But in his defense, he had (still does at 21y/o) major, major huge bio-mother issues.

(We were court ordered to take said child to a psychiatrist once. This was just before he was expelled. Within 2 hours the guy (the head of the dept. fer christ sakes) diagnosed him as schizophrenic. We laughed in his face at the next follow up IEP meeting when he told us of his amazing discovery. We tried to warn the guy before hand how manipulative and crafty this innocent looking little boy was, but he wouldn't listen. He was more interested in pushing pills down his throat for easy managing rather than tackling the underlying anguish that plagued a young boy. No, I'm not fond of psych-doctors and my step son has not a schizophrenic fiber in his body. Just a very, very smart 8 year old. Some peoples doctors:eyes: )

Trust yourself and don't let anyone push you or guilt you into doing something in the name of 'what's best for him' or 'we should try' if it doesn't "feel right" to you. No one will ever hold his best interests at heart as high or higher than you will, his Mom/Parents.
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amandae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
2. Big hugs to you ((((((hugs))))))
I can't imagine what you're feeling right now! I agree that this is shocking behavior. I have a seven-year-old (girl) and I can't imagine her doing this! They just seem too young, but some of the stories she's come home with from school let me know that these kids are exposed to more than I remember being exposed to as a child.

Have you tried talking to him about whatever is bothering him lately? Have there been any major changes at home or school? Usually at this age you can still get kids to open up some, since they're still just learning how to contain their emotions and often wear them on their sleeves. I think that if you reassure him that no matter what is going on that you'll still love and care about him, maybe he'll feel safe in telling you whatever is bothering him? Maybe?

I wish I had better advice for you. ((((HUGS)))) to you, though!! Please let us know how things go if you decide to take him to a psychiatrist.


:hug:
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Chalco Donating Member (817 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-18-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
3. You could do the psychatrist route, you could also talke with the
school psychologist assigned to the school or take him to a private psychologist or social worker. They don't push meds as much. A thorough psychological evaluation would give lots of detailed information which could then help with therapy.

Good luck. The 2 events together are not good signs. Let us know what happens.

Hugs and more hugs!

Chalco
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Ian David Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:44 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. I don't know the whole story, but it sounds like a lot of over-reacting
If every kid went to a shrink every time they were naughty, nobody would ever get any homework done.

Someone has been trying to push us toward the idea that if a kid doesn't behave just-so, there's something "wrong" with them.

I don't remember specifically if I ever forged my parent's signature by the time I was seven, but I *DID* set-off a stink-bomb on the school bus.

All it got me was a trip to the principal's office, not an appointment with a therapist.

But my parents were really mad and made me give them all the stink-bombs I told them I had left.

A few days later, I released another one in the garage, not realizing it would still permeate through the entire house.

My mom let me hide that one from my dad.

I was already in enough trouble for all the dead cats under my bed...


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elehhhhna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
5. Bright kids are tougher to raise.
Challenging but worth it.
Count your blessings and don't overreact.
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Tab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-07-05 12:21 PM
Response to Original message
6. Without knowing the rest of the history
if he is generally fine, I would chalk it up to testing.

My nearly-nine-year-old is absolutely wonderful, but there was an incident when he was about 7 where he made it look like his teacher approved his assignment (circling to show completion and initials, if I recall). We (teacher and I) just spoke to him, not yelling or anything, but just made it clear that sort of thing was Not Acceptable.

At that age they start to see lots of stuff, sometimes glorified on TV or cartoons (forging a teacher's signature, whatever), and decide to try it out for themselves. That's my job as parent, to say - no, this is not allowed. I don't blame him too much (the first time around); he heard of a concept, thought it was neat, doesn't know any rules that govern it, and thought he'd try it out.

Repeated violations would be another thing, but if this is more or less isolated, then, for my child at least, I wouldn't be reading too much more into it than it is. Kids that age test boundaries. If you show them specific boundaries and they repeatedly break them, that's another story. But for new things, they're often just experimenting with something they saw.

If, however, they're undergoing a major emotional shift, you have to take a good look at what else is going on in their lives. Time with parents and/or quality of that time suffering? Problems with siblings or schoolmates? Fear or resistence to some particular issue or person may be a clue.

Good luck!
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