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She was a human trapped in a dog's body - she died today at 5:30 PM

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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 04:37 AM
Original message
She was a human trapped in a dog's body - she died today at 5:30 PM
She was 15 1/2 years old and she was beautiful (German Shepherd/Beagle) and smarter than any dog I've ever owned or even seen. She had one floppy beagle ear and one pointy shepherd ear which she'd bend backward and it gave her a sort of Robin Hood look. She had a good life, even yesterday she went out for her walk and wanted to stay out extra long because it was unseasonably warm. She loved to feel the sun on her back, she'd actually smile. She had medicine we gave her for her calcified disks but the sun seemed to work the best.

Everyone who spent any time in my house said the same thing about my dog, Jessie "she was a human trapped in a dog's body." She loved to interact with people, some more than they wanted her to but she knew who was fair game or not, and if not, she left them alone.

Her favorite way to greet a guest was to bring them her tug toy, throw it onto their lap and engage in a good game of tug of war. She loved raucousness and when people came over to watch the football games on TV she was part of the cheering section. She'd get very excited when we all did and would throw her ball in the air. She'd also lap up any beer spills that occurred, Corona was her favorite.

She was a finalist for Stupid Pet Tricks a few years ago. She jumped up and bit bubble gum bubbles from my son's mouth. He's 6 ft. 5in. and she's only knee high to me so between the jumping and the snapping at the gum it was a great (but stupid) trick. She even got on CNN doing it but on the final cut she jumped too high and bit his lip causing a lot of bleeding and that was the end of that. We often say she would have been a star if we didn't blow her audition because the more people were in the room, the more she'd twist in the air and embellish her act.

My friend Dot called her an evil genius. When we first got her my son taught her to kiss people on the mouth as a greeting. This soon became a problem so we broke her of the habit, well we broke of the habit except for one person only, Dot. Sometimes she wouldn't see Dot for months at a time. When Dot eventually came into my house she used to have both hands clamped over her mouth. She'd eventually relax her guard mostly because Jessie would be playing with other people but at some point, on some pretext of being innocently in Dot's vicinity, she'd leap up suddenly and give her a big lick right on the lips. Dot would say "phewh, phewh, yech" and rub her mouth vigorously. One day Dot came up with an idea -- wax lips. She wore them to my house and when Jessie licked her lips she realized she had been bested and never licked Dot's lips again.

Jessie ran the show. She decided her walk itinerary and her snack time. She even decided which snack she wanted - a nod toward the top of the fridge meant a chewie or biscuit. A nod on the middle of the refrigerator door meant a piece of cheese from the cold cut drawer. If there was a leftover roast or turkey, she knew which shelf it was on and she put her nose right there. When it was done, we showed her the empty plate and she knew she'd have to choose something else the next day. She never forgot, not even once.

She even decided where she'd sleep. She could have had her choice of beds but she chose the landing at the top of the stairs. She wanted to see the whole house and protect us, so she slept where she could do that best.

Last August she began having seizures. We took her to the emergency room and they said she'd need phenobarbs to stop them so we took her to the vet and he gave us a couple of meds and told us to figure out the dosage. After about a week we got her dosages figured out and she seemed to get well. She'd go a month or more without seizures and when she did have them they were milder. She was back to her old tricks again, chasing her sister around the picnic bench and being her bossy self.

Last month Jessie got an abscessed tooth. After he pulled it, the doctor wanted her off all meds except antibiotics for five days. By the fifth day she started seizing again and we couldn't get the medicine just right like we had before. The seizures came back regularly. Last Thursday she had five in one night. Each day since she began moving a little slower and she had a few "accidents" in the house which was unheard of before that. She still had a healthy appetite up until this morning. I had to carry her into the yard and she indicated after she did her business that she wanted me to carry her into the house. Afterward, she lost control of her bodily functions. She slept peacefully next to me most of the day and when she woke up around sunset she looked pained. We knew it was time to say goodbye. I gave her one last pill to relax her and decided to call the vet. All of the sudden her breathing became labored and she put her face up against mine. She took a few deep breaths, she coughed, and then she died in my arms.

I love her so much and I'm utterly heartbroken but I'm so glad she picked the time and place of her death, and I have no doubt that she did exactly that. Even in death she had so much dignity and that wouldn't have been the case if I'd had to bring her to the vet's office, the only person or place she feared.

She's buried in my back yard, in the spot under the tree where she caught her first squirrel.

RIP, Jessie. You were my family and I will miss you terribly.
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luzdeluna Donating Member (98 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 08:28 AM
Response to Original message
1. I am so sorry
I am making a donation in Jessie's name to my local shelter right now.

ldl
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
2. Ver, very sorry to hear of your loss.
It is heartbreaking to lose a beloved pet. They are like your children. But 15-1/2 is very old for a dog. According to dog age calculators, in human years that would make her about 92 years old. But It seems she had a very long and happy life with you.

I am dreading the day when my dog leaves me. She is my spoiled baby. But she is a Rottweiler and their maximum lifespan is 11 years old. She is 7 now. I lost a Rottweiler in 1999 and she was going on 12.
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ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 10:23 AM
Response to Original message
3. Jessie sounds like a wonderful companion, you and she
were lucky to have found each other. What a touching story and tribute to a wonderful member of your family. My condolences on your loss.

:hug:
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Thank you luzdeluna, ET Awful and Rebel One
It is comforting to hear those kind words even though I haven't been able to stop crying for more than five minutes at a time. The worst was this morning when I had to pick up only one leash and take only one dog for a walk.

I got both of my dogs from shelters so I am touched by your offer, luzdeluna. When I'm functioning again, I'll do the same. Thank you.

Jessie was an amazingly happy dog. She loved life. She loved car rides and chasing squirrels and sniffing, drinking from water fountains, getting a bath, going to the park, meeting familiar people on the street, and most of all she loved games. She'd play hide and seek for hours with us. She'd wait downstairs until we said "Ready, Jess" and up the stairs she'd run and she had an uncanny knack of looking around for just a second or two and homing in on our hiding spots. She loved tag and catch and frisbee.

Each year at Christmas we'd buy her a stuffed animal and each year she did the same thing. She very meticulously loosened the threads around the neck and pulled out just enough stuffing so the head became really loose and hung down its back and then she'd prance around the house shaking it violenly back and forth as if it was some dead animal she'd hunted. She'd drop it in front of us and if we reached for it she snatched it away and shook it in her jaws even harder, as if to say "I'd better make sure it's dead before you pick it up."

She was one in a million.
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Eurobabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
4. Oh MMA, I have tears in my eyes....
So, so sorry to hear about your beloved Jessie. We come to love our pets like we love our kids and our family. There is just nothing unbeatable about the unconditional love of a pet....every one lost is a cause for tremendous grief.

Condolences from The Daemon, Sebastian and Larry.
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demnan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
6. You have written a very loving tribute.
You should post a picture of her on dogster if you have one, and post your essay here verbatim.

I am sorry for your loss, she sounds like a very special member of your family with a wonderful sense of humor. She had a wonderful life with you who really appreciated her mix of intelligent shepherd and onery hound dog.
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 02:21 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Thank you, 48percenter and demnan
And thank your kitties for their condolences too.

Demnan, you summed her up perfectly - smart and ornery. And she did have a sense of humor. The first day we moved into our house, a new neighbor came up to greet us and she said something she'd say to me repeatedly over the years. She said, "I wish my mother was alive to meet Jessie. She loved a smiling dog and she never saw a dog who smiled as much as Jessie did."

I'll see about getting pix digitized tomorrow. I never did have a digital camera so I'll have to find somewhere they can scan the pix. Her face was very much like a doe, believe it or not.
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Beaverhausen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 03:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. What a wonderful friend she was! I'm so sorry
But what great memories of her you have to keep in your heart!

:hug:
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xultar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. She will wait for you @ the rainbow bridge
Think of her and post stories about her as often as you need to. Talking makes it so much better.
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Minimus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-03-05 10:24 PM
Response to Original message
10. My heart goes out to you. I had to put my best friend down last
month and I still ache for him so much it hurts. The only thing getting me through the days (and nights) is knowing my Sonic will live forever in my heart. I held him while the vet gave the injection and he died in my arms. I will never ever forget that feeling. Be at peace knowing that Jessie had you, your voice, your scent with her to the very end.

It sounds like Jessie had a wonderful life and was loved deeply. I like to think of my Sonic running and playing and just having so much fun now. He loved to chase squirrels so maybe he and Jessie are chasing them together.

This poem really helped me get through some tough times in the last few weeks. Maybe you will find comfort in it too:


Friend to Friend

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


Take care and know you and Jessie are in my thoughts.
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 09:08 AM
Response to Reply #10
14. Beaverhausen, xultar, Minimus you are so kind
The pain is incredible but your kind words help so much.

Minimus, thank you for the poem. I just looked at your thread memorializing Sonic. I think he and Jessie would be good friends. I know it's going to hurt for a long time but our friends are at peace.
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Is It Fascism Yet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 03:41 AM
Response to Original message
11. what a wonderful doggie! what a fun life she led! she'll be back! n/t
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RadicalMom Donating Member (734 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 04:33 AM
Response to Original message
12. This is the first time I have visited this group, but I want to tell
Edited on Tue Jan-04-05 04:36 AM by RadicalMom
you how sorry I am for your great loss. Our first dog was also dubbed a person in a dog suit, and he passed on at 14, ten years ago. In the years since, I and many members of my family have been lucky enough to have had many contacts with him. I made the decision some years back to tell people who have lost animals, especially recently, and for that matter, people, to be open to any sense of contact you get from them. Believe what you experience. It is real, and don't let anyone talk you out of it. Most of our beloved ones try very hard to make contact with us, and usually succeed, in many different ways. I've even had reports of sightings, especially of Scout, that dog in the person suit, from people who didn't even know he'd crossed over until he made an appearance at their house. I have lost three dogs over the years, and I know how devastating it is. It has helped me and anyone I've discussed this with, a great deal to know they are not crazy if they have contacts from the other side,and to know there are other people that they can feel free to discuss it with. If anyone here wants me to tell specific details, advise you as to how to try to become more receptive to it, what kinds of things I have experienced and what to look for, please let me know if you want me to post these things publicly here if y'all are open to them. You can PM me too. I have studied animal communication, practiced it for some time, and simply experienced the proof, to me and others, of life beyond this one. I am no longer afraid to discuss this.

I'm going to add this group to my forums. I only just learned of it the other day.

Love and prayers for you and your Jessie. She will never completely leave you.

Diane
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 07:12 AM
Response to Original message
13. I am so very sorry! She sounds like a remarkable dog
and that you loved her very much. She was so very lucky to have found you!

When I lost my kitty, last year, one of the workers at my vet's office told me about this pet loss website. It might help. She was still grieving over the loss of her cat, a year later, and she told me that she's found comfort there. But, then, she doesn't have DU. I just wish that I had known about it, and DU, when I lost my perfect boy, Barney, two years ago, at 18. He was also rescue, as are all my guys. But I know how you feel. I have loved all my guys, but Barney was special to me.

http://www.petloss.com/

Again, I am so terribly sorry! I know what it's like, and I'm tearing up as I'm writing this. But I went and got my little dog and he's sitting in the chair with me. He was left behind, like your other dog, and was inconsolable. Your other dog will miss his/her companion, especially if Jessie was the leader. And there's no way to explain to a dog why his friend is gone.

Thank you for sharing Jessie's remarkable story!:hug:
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #13
15. Thank you Is It Facism Yet, RadicalMOm and Rhiannon
What a special dog Jessie was. I have all these stories about her I keep remembering. I should write them down and keep them forever.

I keep thinking she would hate to see me like this. She was very sensitive to moods and she had a very cajoling nature when she sensed someone was in a funk. If I felt sad and was laying in bed she'd crawl under the covers and bark at me, inviting me to play the game where I had to grab at her and she had to guess where my hand would land. If she caught my hand even though she couldn't see it, she'd come out from under the covers smiling. You just couldn't be sad around her.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she made contact from the other side. She's probably too busy meeting all the others right now. She loved to socialize.
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. You're welcome. I know what you're going through right now and I just
ache for you. Yes, dogs can be incredibly sensitive to moods. They know if you're upset, sad or anxious. My guys tend to reflect mine, not always a good thing. You need to be strong for her, and for your other dog. When I lost my cat, I shut down for awhile, I was so devastated, and I will always feel guilty, since this wasn't fair to my two dogs.

But, as I said, Jessie was a truly remarkable dog, but she was also so fortunate to have found you. You gave her a wonderful and rich life, where she could be all she was. And I am sure that she's waiting for you, playing with the other dogs, on the other side of The Rainbow Bridge. The animal hospital gave me the poem when I lost Barney.;(

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
17. Oh Mandate, I'm so sorry.
Edited on Tue Jan-04-05 01:45 PM by fudge stripe cookays
She really does sound like an amazing person...er...dog. What a wonderful personality, and a special baby.

You've told us such great stories about her. I'm so glad she was able to go with you there, at home, instead of the vet's office. That sigh was her last "I love you."

Wish I could do or say something to help. We lost Oreo (our black and white Pooh cat) last October (2003), and it was so difficult. I cried for days as well. She saw me through some rough days as a single mom, and then adapted to reprehensor as her adopted daddy. And I could tell you some hilarious stories about her (her backing up spastically with her head stuck inside the potato chip bag immediately comes to mind).

I think she and Sonic and Jessie and the other lost babies here are all hanging out beyond the Rainbow Bridge having a blast chasing ghostly squirrels and rabbits untiil they can see us again.

You have my best wishes,
FSC
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:09 AM
Response to Reply #17
19. thanks, fudge stripe cookays
your words help more than you can imagine. I didn't know the grief could be this intense but now I understand it. I'd love to hear more about Oreo and I really like the thought of Jessie and Sonic and Oreo hanging out together.

I'll have pix up soon. Thanks again.
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 10:34 AM
Response to Reply #19
21. Oreo was a tuxedo kitty...
black and white spotted with big green eyes. And an apetite like a Kodiak bear! She had a pot belly which she constantly nursed. It was never quite big enough for her. Always wondering where her next meal was coming from.

She showed up as a stray on my mom's doorstep in 1988, scrawny and straggly, with one little eye all gunky from an infection. She adopted us, then came with me in 1994 when I loved to Dallas and she became my cat. I just started calling her Pooh one day. Not sure why. It stuck. When r. moved down, it altered into "The Pooh." That just became her name.

She was a handful, but alway entertaining. Did NOT travel well. When I was broke when I first moved out, I couldn't hire a pet sitter to watch her when I went home to Austin to visit my mom for the weekend, so I took her with me. Trouble was, she got carsick. I found this out the hard way the first time. Nuff said.

After that, it was kitty valium for The Pooh. Every trip. And the withdrawal was hell. My mom had this annoying Maltese, and Oreo would practically take her eye out a few hours after the pill, hissing and clawing. Plus her eyes were still all funky and crossed from the drugs.

This cat was completely fearless when it came to getting to food while I was gone during the day or even while I was sitting there. She got the pantry door open once and got up 2 or 3 shelves. When I came home she had knocked bread off the shelf and ripped into it.

Once years ago, I'd grabbed some fast food (Burger King) on the way home from work. I usually sat at my low coffee table in front of the TV to eat, and was laughing at a particularly funny episode of "Friends." Unseen by me, she had crept up on my left side, jumped up and stole several fries out from under my nose. I was laughing so hard I couldn't punish her. She just looked up at me defiantly, daring me to spank her.

A few years later, I had just moved into my cute little 1930s duplex, and had no furniture yet. I felt like getting Greek for dinner, so I got take-out and was eating on a short box set on the floor of the living room in front of my small TV. The phone rang, so I walked just a few steps away to get it.

All of a sudden, I see The Pooh hightailing it across the dining room dragging a huge piece of souvlaki behind her. It was almost as big as she was, so it was hanging out of her mouth at this weird angle. She was hauling ass, trying to get to the bedroom before I saw her. Once again, laughing too hard to do much.

Several weeks later came the potato chip bag incident. reprehensor and I had started writing by this point (internet relationship). I'd gotten Subway for supper with a sub and a bag of chips. Dumb me, I left the bag laying on the coffee table, even though it only had some crumbs left in the bottom. I went back into my bedroom to IM with r for a little bit, and kept hearing this crackle crackle noise. I shouted, "Oree! Stop it." It would stop for a second, then continue on. Finally after 3 shouts, I went into the living room. She'd decided to go for the crumbs, but the bag got stuck on her head and she couldnt get it off. She was flailing around the living room with this bag on her head, and I about wet myself. It was one of THE funniest things I'd ever seen.

Then one night not long after, a noise woke me up. I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, so it was a loud noise. Kind of a strange bumping noise. I was a little nervous, being a woman living alone. So I slowly ventured out into the dining room, then living room. Nothing. As I moved to go into the kitchen, I saw a movement in the darkness from the light in the LR. I had one of those bullet shaped trashcans with the lid that flip flops back and forth.

Oree had crawled INTO it, and was now prairie-dogging at me out of the top of it.

As you can see, most of the Pooh's antics involved the obtaining of FOOD. But she slept with me every night. Had a purr like a freight train. To me, cat purrs are one of the most comforting sounds, and dog breath one of the most comforting smells.

It's always wonderful to hear others' stories of their great pets. And it's always rewarding to share yours to make people smile, even in their sadness. Pets make our lives worthwhile. I could never imagine being without at LEAST one.

We're here if you need to rap.
FSC
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. What a spunky kitty. Thanks for sharing her antics.
I love animals with strong wills and spirits. She sounds like she overcame a lot of obstacles with that iron will intact. The souvlaki and potato chip stories are so funny! I know I've also lost the ability to discipline my doggies when they found 'creative' ways to clip some food.

A week before Jessie died, my son had left some ham on the kitchen table after making himself a midnight snack. Jessie was never one to steal from the kitchen table (although the trash was fair game as far as she was concerned) and by then she had trouble climbing or reaching anything but her dog bowl, but my son said he noticed her sniffing toward the plate.

He went to bed forgetting to put it away and when I woke up at 2:30 AM to get a drink from the fridge, she had pulled the plate over to the edge of the table and was standing up perfectly balanced on her back legs lapping up that ham like she'd never seen food before. And oh yes, the look on her face was defiant. I not only laughed, I gave her a little egg nog to wash it down with. It was Christmas after all.
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fudge stripe cookays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 09:25 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. Bless her heart.
I'm sure it was delicious!

These stories are so great.

FSC
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LDS Jock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-04-05 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
18. I'm so sorry
:grouphug: You wrote a beautiful tribute for her. At least you had the 15 years with her. You were privileged to have had her for so long.
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:33 AM
Response to Reply #18
20. Yes we were very lucky she chose us
Edited on Wed Jan-05-05 09:56 AM by Mandate My Ass
Thank you.



Here she is looking disgusted because our other pup, Halley, is spread eagled and snoring like a lumberjack. Jessie often looked at poor little clueless Halley like that but she was her protector too.







Here she is when we first got her. They told us she was 8 weeks old but the vet said she was only four or five weeks at the most. She started right off though being my son's guardian.

I have to crop these, they're too big.
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FizzFuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 11:34 AM
Response to Original message
22. I'm tearing up for you and all who grieve.
:hug:
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meti57b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-05-05 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
I know it hurts so much.
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #23
24. Thank you FizzFuzz and meti
Edited on Thu Jan-06-05 12:00 PM by Mandate My Ass


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gypsy11 Donating Member (286 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-06-05 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
26. I'm sorry
It's always hard when we loose our pets. :hug:
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Blue_Roses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-20-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
28. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss
I lost our cat monty yesterday and I know how you feel. I am devasted and my heart aches so bad today. I never realized how much I could love this animal:cry:
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-20-05 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #28
30. Aw, I'm so sorry
They're so precious but we only have them a little while. I'm still grieving terribly for my Jessie. It takes a while but I hope you feel better soon. :hug:
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sepia_steel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-20-05 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
29. So sorry, MMA
I have been there, and my current baby sounds an AWFUL lot like yours, personality-wise. It's true they will come back to 'visit' you. I hope you feel better soon. :)
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-20-05 05:50 PM
Response to Reply #29
31. Thanks, sepia_steel
I truly lost a friend when JEssie passed. I found some pics the other day and that started the crying jags all over again.

When we got our second pup, Jessie was mad at us for about a month or two, I mean really ticked off. I found a picture of the little one snugggled so sweetly and contentedly up against her and Jessie's face said it all. She looked in that picture like she was thinking "You brought this thing here to live with me? What were you thinking?

At least I always enjoyed her and appreciated her. It makes it a tiny, tiny bit easier to accept this loss.
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-23-05 03:24 AM
Response to Original message
32. I just finished reading your incredibly loving tribute to Jesse, and I
still have tears in my eyes. Jesse was a very, very special little girl. I had a little girl very much like her named Jenna that I lost 2 years ago. I know the heartbreak. There have been several furbabies that have filled my heart with happiness, and then with sadness when I had to deal with their loss.
It sounds like your relationship with Jesse was very special, and you were so lucky to have found each other. Thank you so much for sharing those sweet moments with us. I know she is still there, watching over you, and will always be buried where all good dogs are buried: in your heart.

Last Night
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying, You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said " it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.
- Author unknown

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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #32
37. That's so beautiful
Edited on Wed Jan-26-05 12:05 PM by Mandate My Ass
Thank you, BrklynLiberal. I'm sorry you lost your Jenna but they do live on in our hearts forever and I do believe we will be reunited with them someday.
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Flaxbee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-23-05 02:29 PM
Response to Original message
33. I'm sorry, MMA
Sounds like Jessie was a wonderful girl and it sounds like she loved you and your family very much, as much as you loved her.

I hope you feel better in time.
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Jo March Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-23-05 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
34. Oh, bless you and your family on the loss of your Jessie
I can feel that you loved her so much from that wonderful tribute. How beautiful that the last face she saw was that of her beloved Human.

Peace to you and yours in your grief.

:hug:
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ernstbass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-24-05 01:20 PM
Response to Original message
35. Jessie was a very lucky dog to have such a special owner
My thoughts are with you
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-26-05 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. Thank you all so much - the grief goes on but slightly better
I was searching for some peroxide last nite and the doggie shampoo fell out of the cupboard and I just broke down and sobbed for an hour. I gave Jessie a sponge bath on the day she died and she was so grateful that it still breaks my heart. The grief sneaks up on me even though I've had a "visit" from Jessie and I know she is happy and no longer in pain.

One more small story. I had to have cervical spine surgery when she was a young, very frisky dog which involved having a bone graft from my hip put into my neck. It was very painful and my husband and mother were of the mind that Jessie should spend the first week away. I absolutely refused even though her greetings at the door always involved and lot of jumping and physical contact.

When I walked in the door Jessie approached me wagging her tail. She sniffed me as I walked to the couch and ever so gently put her nose on my knee and looked into my eyes. She knew as I knew she would. I invited her up onto the couch with me and she sniffed my hip and my neck and never jumped on me or even sat next to me without permission.

That six-week initial recuperation was long, frustrating and quite boring. Jessie was the best company ever even though her walks were curtailed and it was her favorite weather, spring. I miss her so much.

Your kind comments mean so much to me at this time and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. :grouphug:
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virgdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 03:09 AM
Response to Reply #36
38. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby...
I lost two cats within the last two years, so I know the tremendous feelings of grief and loss that you are feeling. Although it it almost a year since one of my kitty kids died from Kidney Disease, I still find myself breaking down from time to time. I cremated both kitties and they are on the mantel. Whenever I look over at them, invariably, I will break down and cry. They say time heals all wounds, but it does take a long, long time. Your Jessie sounds like she was a great dog and a real character. Count your blessings that you had the quality time that you had with her, as time is so short with our babies.
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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-28-05 07:52 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. Two in two years? I'm so sorry
THanks for your kind words and your understanding. Some days just knowing she wanted to go, she had been telling me so for days before it happened, helps a little bit. But her absence is like a huge hole in my heart and my life.
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virgdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. You are welcome....
I wish I could offer some magic balm that would make the pain of losing your baby go away, but there is nothing like that unfortunately. If this is the first fur baby you have lost, the pain is especially intense. That's how I felt when my cat Cleo died in June of 2003. I had six at that time and she was the first to go. I found her dead in her room and I didn't know quite what to do, so I called the vet and I brought her to them. I was in major shock all day long, just sleep walking through the day. It was tough, but the pain and grief slowly subsided over the months. And then I lost my second cat, Foggie, to Kidney disease. At least I knew that was coming, as we were dealing with that since 1999. However, it was still a very difficult time, as she was very close to me. And to top it off, in between the loss of the two cats, my Mom passed away from Cancer last September. So, it's been a doozy of a two years or so. I guess there's nothing you can do but just go on with live and try to keep busy. I just hope that the passage of time will help you to get past this loss of your dog. Best wishes to you.
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-31-05 06:56 AM
Response to Reply #38
42. I am so sorry, for you, as well. Losing two in two years is tragic.
I have also had my losses, my two cocker spaniels, six months from each other. Barney was 18, but still the worst I could imagine, but then I lost my Sheena, six months later, after she got suddenly sick, and we lost the good fight. I know what I am in for, since I tend to adopt older animals, from rescue, but this doesn't make it any easier. And I have since lost my kitty, who I rescued, myself, which was really difficult. *sigh* So I understand.;(
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virgdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 02:50 AM
Response to Reply #42
44. Thank you for your sympathetic words...
they are much appreciated.
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-29-05 05:03 PM
Response to Original message
41. I can't think of words to write ...
my sympathy to you for your loss.

RIP loyal companion and friend.
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Vektor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-01-05 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
43. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.
I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better, but I'm not sure there is. I am so sorry.
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Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-05-05 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
45. My deepest sympathies
Losing a pet is like losing a member of your family. I know how it feels. May God Bless You and your family.

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Mandate My Ass Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-07-05 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #45
46. Thank you all so much
Your compassion really helps. I know all the people here "get it" when it comes to the loss of a beloved friend/family member, no matter how many legs they have.

I just passed the one month anniversary. I'm ordering an engraved stone and planning what to plant on her grave this spring. These things are helping me cope as is all the kindness you've displayed in this thread.


At the risk of repeating myself -- Thank you all so much. :grouphug:
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bvar22 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-07-05 05:25 PM
Response to Original message
47. I've read your post several times,
and have been unable to respond until today.
You have touched me beyond words.
Thank You.
RIP Jessie.
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hangemhigh Donating Member (587 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-07-05 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
48. She loved you, was a companion to you and protected you.
I believe that critters have souls and that they have a spiritual purpose here on earth. She achieved hers and she will rest in peace. Love to you-I know how much this hurts.




:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
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