Losing your job and "transformation"

[FDRLincoln]

I spent some time with my energy worker yesterday. She felt that I was about to (or in the process of) going through a major transformation or transition, which I totally understood given my recent chaotic emotions and stress.

I then came home to find that I'd just lost my biggest consulting contract and was essentially "laid off" for budget reasons. This cuts our monthly income by 50%, with no hope that I can see of immediate improvement in the situation. We can pay the bills for October and November but after that I don't know where the money is going to come from.

My inner guidance says everthing will be ok...we won't lose the house, and eventually we'll be better off. But my inner skeptic is questioning this right now. I'm in shock and feeling miserable.

I know other people are in far worse situations, but I just need to get that out there.

[Dora]

1. Oh, what a nasty surprise.

You keep listening to your inner guidance, it's telling you the right stuff.

:hug:

I empathize. A significant loss of income like this rocks the boat. I'm wishing for you smooth sailing through this rough time.

[Sanity Claws]

2. Wow

Amazing that the energy worker picked this up before it happened.
How can your body register an energy change when it doesn't know that change is coming? Makes you wonder about what is cause, what is effect.

[FDRLincoln]

5. energy

She's really good.

I wonder if on some level I knew this was coming. I've been frantically paying down debt in recent months, although I had no indication at all that there was any problem with the contract. I've also been very angry and volatile lately for no apparent reason, and have been working on integrating the darker sides of my personality rather than just suppressing them.

At this point I'm just trying to hold on. My wife has been sick lately and is recovering from surgery, and we have a special needs kid. All the financial burden is on me, and the main source of income just vanished with no warning.

I'm trying to remain positive here....but at the same time I've been working on trying to own emotions like anger rather than saying something like "i'm too spiritual to be angry" which is often my habit.

[Callie McAllie]

3. What a shock!

I'm really sorry this happened to you. Hang in there. It WILL get better.

[northernlights]

4. it will all work out, FDR

My bank account was down to $14.00 while the school diddled around with our stafford loans for a month, my last super-employer (sammich shop) stiffed me my last paycheck and I had yet to start my new job. And then everything came through, one thing at a time, just in time.

Amazing that your energy worker could pick up on that. Maybe your recent chaotic emotions and stress were due to the wave on energy headed your way.

:hug:

[FDRLincoln]

6. yes

Yes, she's amazing. And yes, it has occured to me that perhaps I was picking it up ahead of time, explaning my recent bouts of unprovoked anger, stress, and fear.

[MorningGlow]

7. It's okay to be scared

Sorry you had such bad news, FDRL, but you are truly justified in freaking out a little. We used to have a rule in my coven: "Go ahead and wallow. And then stop." In other words, we all have to acknowledge our emotions--give in to them a bit, because denying them and burying them isn't healthy--examine our shadow side, recognize our "human-ness" (all a part of choosing to incarnate in these bodies on this planet), but not let those negative emotions and fears rule our lives.

You sound quite spiritually healthy, FDRL. You'll be right as rain soon enough! In the meantime, sending light for your peace of mind as well as nifty, interesting, and high-paying (!) consulting jobs to replace the one that you lost. :hi:

[FDRLincoln]

8. thanks

The interesting thing is that I've been engaged in serious shadow work over the last few weeks, trying to find a way to integrate emotions like anger and hatred into my larger whole. For a long time I just repressed these emotions...in retrospect this was out of pride..."I'm too spiritual to be angry", that sort of thing. I think some sources call this a "spiritual bypass", where a person on the spiritual path pretends they don't have a darker side.

However, integration is not the same as suppression!

When I first had my kundalini awakening about three years ago, the first thing I had to do was integrate my sexuality into my spirituality. In retrospect that was a lot easier than trying to integrate anger. A friend points out to be that even an advanced being such as Jesus experienced anger and fear. Do I really think I'm more advanced than Jesus? Heck no....I have to allow myself to feel these types of emotions as well as love and joy.

I'm trying to look at this job loss as part of the process of this integration. The hard part is that I've got a wife and two kids to provide for, so it's not all about me and finding a practical way to survive is what i'm working on now.

[Eurobabe]

10. Going through a tough time here too

Relocating back home, no job, living with relatives for awhile. Scared shitless alot. HOWEVER, having said that, I try to remain positive at all times, and say to myself you will find a job, things will right themselves, and you need to live for today and find something joyful in it.

Believe that things will work out for you, attract what you need, and you will receive it. I'm a big believer in the power of positive thinking. :hug:

[mother earth]

9. These are bad times for sure, hang in there.

Yes, many are going thru this, tho at times that's of little comfort. Stay positive. I hope you can find a way to make do until you are back on track.