this is difficult for me

[stellanoir]

I've never done this before. . .

As an at least, a third generation Venus retro I do not excel at asking for or receiving help.

When I'm healthy, which I thankfully generally am, it's effortless for me to help others out energetically or astrologically or as humorously as I possibly can.

I apologize profusely for those who have posted to whom I've not responded to of late.

However, for the past several weeks I've been writhing in acute pain.

That would be absolutely searing dental pain.

I have very little trouble rising above physical pain below my neck. But above the neck it's a whole other story. Then when I think of the tens of thousands who have lost limbs in our ill conceived, misguided, and illegal assault on a country that did not threaten us in any way, I feel I've no problem really. Perhaps I'm just being petty.

It's bizarre on so many levels. There is the superficial level of vanity and that is what it is. Plenty of people survive and prosper with false teeth.

Yet this hurts like hell. It's much deeper than vanity. I feel as though I've been blessed in so many ways and yet have screwed so much up and have now lost a battle into which I invested so much time resources and energy.

It just feels like a very enormous failure.

I'm just lousy at capitalism and marketing myself. How I can get swept away sharing higher information and never think of what expense it will be to me or my kid totally astounds me in its sheer and utter stupidity and impracticality.

Yup I'm having more challenging aspects than I've had in 14 years or perhaps longer. Though hopeful influences hover closely on the horizon.

Am at a loss trying to figure out how to rectify this pattern. Not the immediate physical problem as I astonishingly and remarkably have very good care, but more by the enormity of habitually giving at the expense of self.

Any support would be truly appreciated. . .she says sheepishly.

Thanks in advance.

I truly love and deeply appreciate this group.

[DemExpat]

1. Oh, do I know how hard it is to ask for support and advice.....

:hug:

I recently supported a girlfriend who was going through very similar feelings about having to make the decision to forego her painful teeth for false teeth. Now she is pain-free and not unhappy with her new set of teeth....

Yet this hurts like hell. It's much deeper than vanity. I feel as though I've been blessed in so many ways and yet have screwed so much up and have now lost a battle into which I invested so much time resources and energy.

As for this, I believe this is part of living a longer than brief life, stellanoir, for every life lived will have aspects of this having screwed up some things and missed out on others. One therapist I had helped me with this years ago when she reminded me that by chosing one path, you automatically close the door on other paths, choices, experiences. We can't do it all, we can't be in control of it all!
Giving at the 'expense' of self - that is what love and self-sacrifice is all about - biologically with having and raising children, emotionally and spiritually in the process of giving to others. Not that you get totally sapped by loving and giving - because giving will automatically bring returns IMO - but living here involves degeneration, aging, and eventually the dying of our present bodies, so, this is something that we all must learn to deal with here somehow. Some periods are more diffuclt than others in my experience!

Feeling physically vulnerable brings this all up, for sure....

:hug: :grouphug:

I would take care of the painful teeth pronto, and hunker down with this period of reflection and mourning of loss of youth and possibility (maybe write it all down in a journal?) as we continue down the paths of our life.


DemEx

[stellanoir]

13. Thanks so much DemExpat

for your thoughtful response.

I couldn't agree with you more. Sometimes it's just overwhelmingly crushing ya know. In the wee hours in pain I just lost it a bit.

Am better now.

[LaurenG]

2. Dental pain huh?

Well I and another one of my very favorite people know EXACTLY what that's like.

I hope that you are getting dental care as I had to discover that I had teeth problems not sinus problems and finally made it to the dentist and was able to take care of it.

I am so sorry that you've been ill.

You have prayers and healing thoughts surrounding you and my love goes out to you.

:loveya: :hug: :grouphug: ~~~~~((healing vibes))~~~~~~

[BlueIris]

3. OMG, poor stella.

As someone also struggling with the problem that is trying to define how much I "should" be giving to others verses how much I should give to myself (I will let you all guess to which side of the equation the imbalance drifts) all I can say is that I truly empathize with your frustration as regards that dilemma. Every time I'm faced with a terrible lack of resources or supportive individuals in my life I ask, "Would I have this problem if I hadn't spent so much time helping so many others instead of helping myself?" I would suggest items, exercises or rituals through which to try to reduce your pain or solidify the balance issues in your life, but--somehow I don't think that's what you're asking for. I wish you the best in sorting this out, though. I will PM you if I think of anything.

[BlueIris]

5. Okay, I thought of something. You have a PM. nt

[I Have A Dream]

4. Dear stella, I'm so sorry that you're in such pain.

I ask that the Universe bring you back to full health as quickly as possible and to totally remove your pain. I ask that your Body Elemental help with this process as well. (This or something better for the highest good of all involved.)

I wish that I personally could do something to make it go away.

:hug::hug::hug:

[stellanoir]

6. Thanks you guys

for all the kind hearted support. I was wingey and whiney in the wee hours when I posted this.

I'll get over it. The incessant pain just wore me down I guess.

I may alert myself and have this deleted by the mods.

That's a funny image though. . . alerting oneself. :)

I do feel much better already though. So a big thanks to all.

[cassiepriam]

7. Stella, we need to talk.

Talk about coincidence. I have been in the very same boat. I have just had the dental abscess from hell. I will not get into all of the story but suffice it to say I have been really sick due to complications. And it went undiagnosed for several years making me ill, very frustrated and unhappy. My immune system was working so hard to deal with the infection but no one could pinpoint where it was.

I also have been hit hard physically and emotionally with it.

I have also been doing a lot of soul searching about my life. And am I doing too much? Not taking care of myself or my family? Maybe I need to drop kick my computer, astrology books charts to the curb. And get a normal life.

Agh.............. Let's head to a spa Stella, get a massage and our nails done. Like other women.

[stellanoir]

8. cassie dearest

Spa nah nah nah nah. . .spa nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah :)

Sounds like a plan. I'll pm you shortly.

[cassiepriam]

9. PS

Actually I cannot afford to go to a spa this summer. As long as I am in a ranting self pity party mode, I will also say that I have had the basement flooding from hell this past month. Raw sewage (gross I know, sorry to be graphic). My husband and I spent $2000 to fix the problem only to have it return. And despite the hordes of plumbers looking at the problem no one can seem to sort it out.

Sorry to hijack your thread. Misery loves company?
I am with you.

[I Have A Dream]

10. Cassie...

:hug:

[cassiepriam]

11. Thnx :)

I can throw a good hissy fit huh?

[cassiepriam]

12. Sorry Stella to turn your thread into my rant....

You can have the floor back. :))

[stellanoir]

14. Don't be silly.

Maybe I won't alert myself after all and we can all just kvetch about inordinate difficulties in life here.

And cassie. . .I'm not at all possesive about my threads :) and you can never gross out someone with Jupiter in Scorpio. It's truly amazing how much incompetance there is in the world (i.e. your plumbing dilemma). Or as I often say to folks like myself with a lot of planets in Virgo. . ."Just look at it this way. . .it's kinda amazing that anything ever gets done."

When 900 lines were all the rage in the 90's I used to joke with a friend that we should start a 1-900-kvetch line and make a fortune.

So rant away my friends.

[cassiepriam]

15. Thanks Stella

I'd send you some healing energy but I don't think you want the energy I have right now :(

I know all about incompetence, my medical condition has been misdiagnosed for three years now. And it ended up doing some damage to my body that will take some time to heal. Not to talk about the time, money and suffering over the past three years. I had to finally strong arm my dentist to do the right kind of xrays that would diagnose the problem, and to take my symptoms seriously.

There is an idea, forget astrology and start a Rant Line. We could make a fortune. They could talk to you if they want to rant about the stars. To me if they want to rant about their spirit guides :)

What is the story on your abscess Stella? Are you going to do a root canal? Dental surgery, do they think they can save the tooth? Are you on antibiotics? And what pain meds are you taking?

I just cannot believe that your dentist is not getting your pain under control. Are you taking the meds as prescribed? First rule of pain management is that you have to stay one step ahead of the pain with your meds.

[stellanoir]

16. well check your PM

No I was told 15 years ago that my teeth were gonners but I managed to maintain them by having a lot of periodontal work and irrigating my gums with tea tree oil as well as a host of other herbal treatments.

But I became less diligent about it for some strange reason over recent months and now I require three extractions and will get a partial bridge for which I was fitted yesterday. Apparantly the manufacturers of the bridges employed a host of illegal immigrants so many of them have fled or been fired so they are really backlogged.

I'm on penicillin now which I have managed to avoid for well over a decade. But I'm foolishly stubborn about taking pain meds. I was on ibuprofen from Saturday until Monday when the pain was immobilizing and acute but don't like to do too much of that stuff as I don't want to lose my low tolerance in case I really need it some day. That might sound crazy but I just want to pace myself since I'm facing another month of this. Now the pain is just dull but constant.

The rant line would work but whether or not we could endure that much bitching is sort of a concern. But it's essentially often what I do when I do readings anyhoo.

Tendencies for misdiagnosis are often seen in 6th house influence. I've got Chiron in Aquarius there and I've never responded well to anything other than alternative medicine. That's why finally succumbing to these procedures is really burning my butt. Oh well.

[cassiepriam]

24. Listen to me Stella

You wrote: <I don't want to lose my low tolerance in case I really need it some day.>

Stella that day is NOW. If you have been in excruciating pain for this long you need to take your pain meds.

I have a loaded H6, so I know all about sensitivity to meds. I hate to take anything. I break the pain meds into tiny pieces and take a pediatric dose. But I would not hesitate to take more if the pain is as bad as you are describing.

The other thing, we know that chronic pain over many weeks and months can begin to habituate your neural pathways. This means that the pathways get so used to pain impulses they cannot stop the pain, even when the pain source is gone.

If you can get your pain level down on a consistent basis you will make it through the month just fine. I know you are sick to death of dental drama, but you have to take care of yourself now Stella. Take the antibiotics, you do not want this infection spreading to other parts of your body which is what happened to me. Trust me on this one.

(I was just on three different antibiotics at the same time! And two pain meds. And happy to do it. If the dentist had told me to go to an opium den I would have done that too. :(

[Chemical Bill]

17. Check your PM. n/t

[Cleita]

18. Get thee to a dentist now. Any dentist worth his drill will do anything

to save a tooth. I know. I have begged to have diseased teeth removed and yet they have preferred to build from anything that is there rather than pull. I have one tooth that is mostly a root with a complete crown. It's expensive but if you can't afford the initial outlay find a dentist who will let you pay it off monthly, or if there is a dental school close to you you can get very good care for a minimum of cost or even free depending on your circumstances.

Also, are you sure it's your teeth? I got shingles on part on the right side of my face and it felt like a very bad toothache, but it turned out it was shingles. There is no cure for it but at least they give you painkillers. The disease eventually wears off.

Bless you for not being a capitalist. You will learn eventually how to make sure you have enough without having to be a scrooge.

[stellanoir]

20. Oh Cleita

Due to malnourishment I experienced when I was breastfeeding my son (one of my more ingenius maneuvors. . .he was on solids by then so he didn't suffer) I lost a boatload of bone tissue. There's nada holding three of them in place any more. I've seen the X-rays. I even used experimental European laser treatment to maintain one of my front ones.

I love my dentist and he's done easily $10,000 worth of work and charged me one tenth of that.

I went to a dental school for most of the periodontal work.

I had some funny students work on me. One was an oriental and he kept photographing my teeth and I'm a bit of a camera phobe and I said, "what's with all the photographs?" He said, "Well it's not just because I'm Japanese." Another time he was telling me about bone graphting and he said,"They either use organic or inorganic bone." I said, "where the heck do they get the organic bone?" He replied without hesitation, "from Florida." He cracked me up.

Another student was one of the happiest most positive Mormans on the planet and always referred to my most compromised tooth as his "favorite tooth."

I'm sorry you had shingles. Do you know about Lysine and Sting Stop? (systemic and topical treatments respectively)

I live luckily generally and am more guilty of ruinous generosity than being a scrooge at all. I just know that living outside the system lends my writing a unique perspective so I can help droves of corporate slaves.

Generally it works quite well. Am just hitting a rough patch. It'll pass soon. And thanks.

Love the "Dentist worth his drill" line. Thanks for that. You made me smile.

[MissWaverly]

41. sorry about your problem

hope you are taking pills with no rest there is no healing; I had an accident 2 years ago
and had to have my nose rebuilt, for some reason they had to work on my palate so all my
teeth hurt, I know what a toothache feels like believe me, please take the pills.

Good Luck,
Miss Waverly

[Love Bug]

19. Ooh, much sympathy for you -- tooth pain is the worse!

Please don't ever feel you can't come to us for healing help! We are here to help each other during these tough times -- there is enough energy to go around!

Please don't ever think that because your problem isn't as bad as someone else's that you can't ask for help! Your suffering in silence will not alleviate one bit of suffering for someone else. The Universe is an abundant place and there is enough healing help for everyone if we only ask for it!

So dear, we are here for you. If you are hurting too much to ask for healing angels or pray for yourself, we are here to do that for you if you only give us permission to do so! We all want what is best for your highest good!

[Sanity Claws]

21. Stellanoir and Cassiepriam

I am so sorry to hear that you have both been suffering from pain.
I was one of the recipients of your generosity not very long ago and know that it was much appreciated.
I'm going to send a PM on something else.
I am sending you both healing energy.

[cassiepriam]

25. Thanks Search!

But please send most of the energy to Stella, I am doing much better now that she is!

[I Have A Dream]

22. I just realized that I know lots of spiritual people who are...

having dental and eye problems right now. Wonder what's going on energy-wise...

[Love Bug]

23. Well, dental would be 5th Chakra issues and Eye problems 6th

I always look to possible aura or etheric body issues when manifesting problems in the physical body. In my own case of eye problems, I am exploring any issues involving the 6th Chakra. Questions like "What am not seeing?" "Am I choosing to look the other way?" or "Do I have issues with my clairvoyance that are manifesting in eye problems?" etc. have come to mind and I am in the process of seeking answers. This is not to say that physical problems are caused by the etheric body, but that they will manifest first in the aura and work their way to the etheric body then to the physical. The trick is, tho, to pay enough attention to what is going on in the aura and etheric so we can see these problems and do something about them before they manifest in the physical. Now that's the rub, ain't it? ;-) Anyway, it's not about self-blame, but just accepting the fact that even those of us who are healers and have done energy work are just human and sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. *sigh*

[cassiepriam]

26. I know what it is for me.

Throat chakra.

Chickens coming home to roost. Years ago I did not speak my truth. Found myself in very dysfunctional situations, forced to be silent.

Karma time.

[cassiepriam]

27. I told my spirit guide that this planet really bites sometimes.......

The answer I got back was not one I particularly liked.

Something to the effect that no matter how bad my life is, I am better off then 99% of the planet. And there are some folks in New Orleans, Gitmo, Baghdad who would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

And then there were a few private words about the karma that lead me to this situation in the first place.

These angels can be real stinkers.

[Crowdance]

28. I'm reminded of the song "Love Hurts"

It does. But I'm so grateful for Spirit's help, even if they know exactly what to say to put me back into reality at the speed of light.

I feel greatly for both you and Stella Noir today. I know how discouraging pain is for us, and how it can be so difficult to maintain equilibrium. I recall a passage from Barbara Brennan's "Hands of Light" (which I sadly lent away years ago) which said something about how healers call into being circumstances that will test, bring out the healing power within. Both of you are healers, IMHO, and I sense that you are experiencing trials that will eventually deposit you on new, more powerful shores. I hold you both in love until that time.

[cassiepriam]

32. Yes, my spirit guide seems to practice tough love.

Maybe she watches too much Dr. Phil :(

Joking aside, it is what I need to hear.

And yes that is a good point Crowdance, Chironistic type situation, our woundedness helps us to be better healers.

Thank you for you light and words.

[lildreamer316]

29. So sorry you

are not feeling well, stella. I am keeping you in my thoughts; which is all I can do atm. I really hope you can get some healing for yourself. You cannot take care of others until you take care of yourself.

BTW; my hubby has been having absesses too; and of course you know about the money problems....it IS strange, eh?

[cassiepriam]

33. Maybe it is all a plot cooked up by dentists :( nt

[rumpel]

30. Stella & Cassie

I don't think it is anywhere close to some failure, but I do appreciate what you feel. I am, like others, grateful for what you do.

I am also a lousy person to market myself, I can't even respond to the question of how much I want to get paid. I am amazed how people can self promote and sell, and I am just in the middle of such a transaction putting someone else's deal together.

When it comes to spiritual work in behalf of others, I always felt it would be nice if people could survive on "offerings" or items or services or whatever donation they can afford, just like the original authentic shamans did. The original concept is even the poorest has something in abundance that he can share, a skill or plain love for others.

As I combine several messages which we follow often in this forum, Mathew and Karen, a) lightworkers are the target, June 19
and b) Karen talks about finding another source that was overlooked for (interpretation mine) income.

Maybe due to the fact that the society revolves and functions around currency in a way that is so totally opposite from the spiritual and true nature, it is putting a strain on those who are true healers and teachers. Because the intent is to heal or teach - nothing else.
Maybe what Karen is saying is, in part, to detach the necessities of living in this society from the core profession or functions of the healer or teacher or lightworker? So, something else - which is probably right under one's nose.
Oddly, such opportunities materialized for me and I will have to just see what transpires, even when it is soo off course for me. Perhaps later I will see or can create a connection.

As for the toothache. Mathew says lightworkers have to rest and heal, as they are targeted. The darkside to me is the extreme materialistic society, which is representative of many of the ills of bush & co.

On another level, your comments of other's sufferings reminded me what Lama Zopa Rinpoche says on pain:
pain is very powerful purification of negative karma, and we can use it to develop bodhicitta, loving kindness, and compassion for others. In this way, every time we experience pain it brings us closer to enlightenment.
Try to think, “I am experiencing this pain on behalf of all sentient beings, so that they can have all happiness, up to enlightenment.”

on edit: Add my brother to the list with big time abcess (tooth pulled)

Sending you healing energy

:grouphug:

[cassiepriam]

34. Thank you Rumpel

Yes I read the Mathew message last month with great interest. It sure hit home with me.

And yes on the pain and karma, I have known that is a good part of what was going on.

Just because someone is a healer and living a spiritual life doesn't mean he or she is immune from working on personal karmic issues. Healers have past life and current life karma to balance out just like everyone else. Sigh.

[stellanoir]

31. well now

More than 24 hours have passed. And though I have slightly less pain I know this will pass. But what of the pain that those are experiencing in Iraq and Dafur and Somalia and in Gitmo and in all those atrocious Gulags we've set up? My country is unrecognisable to me. My 13th generational blood is boiling. It's sort of obvious why my teeth would erupt under current circumstances.

So if I must endure some dental pain it's really nothing in comparison to the harm we've inadvertantly inflicted upon the world.

Thanks for all your kind words and wishes.

Peace be upon us.

ps I intended to ixney this thread but it's been too much fun to do that.

[cassiepriam]

35. I wondered about this too.

Could some of this dental drama be about living under a corrupt and evil cabal?

[stellanoir]

36. Welp teeth themselves are ruled by Saturn for sure

and that rules our currently lamo governance as well so there is a correlation.

Gee can I send my dental bills to * based on this theory?

But it could be construed that there is a Martian influence and Lunar influence relating to the head and nourishment respectively and some might say Mercurial having to do with speech regarding the mouth.

I've a sister in law that blames the fluoride treatments we got as kids which she speculates may have been good for the teeth but lousy for the gums.

Dunno if that's true or not but it sort of makes sense to me.

[cassiepriam]

38. yes

Because we can not speak our truth about evil our teeth are literally rotting in our heads.

Very interesting about your SIL's theory, she may be onto somthing.

[yellowdawgdem]

37. sorry about your teeth probs

I hope I am not repeating anything already mentioned, as I don't have time to read all of the posts. However, teeth are impt. Is there a chance you could see a good dentist or a get second opionion if your dentist said the teeth have to come out. Sometimes there are some other options, such as having root canals, etc.
I've been having some toothaches too, on the left side. I've had some success with using tree tea oil toothpaste, then some fluoride gel every other day. Then on the alternate day I'll use Fizz and Clean Free- tablets that you chew, and that coat the gums with good stuff. This might sound odd, but it really has helped to protect the roots and gums.
Also I bet there are some other supplements out there that would be a first step, before doing something drastic.

[Grateful for Hope]

39. I am so sorry for your pain

and, I can relate to it. I have had issues with my teeth since my early 20's (a long time!), and, I do know about how hard it is to deal with the pain of abscesses and cavities.

I used to say to my beloved hubby that I would rather go through childbirth. I meant it.

The "giving at the expense of self" has been a life-long issue for me as well. I am also a healer (I have a gift when it comes to reiki healing), and, I suspect that those of us who chose to come here at this time are true healers in the sense that we DO give so much of ourselves. My giving has more to do with being there emotionally and financially (with friends who can't reciprocate) and physically (when it comes to my grown kids who should be more self sufficient), but, I think that this is what I chose, and it is who I am.

And, sometimes the anger I feel at the question "what about me?" seems more than I can bear.

But, then, it always seems that I find something, either through what I read, or maybe from something I heard on TV, or maybe from a co-worker or friend, that helps to make everything make sense. And, then, there was the most recent Matthew message.

I know I need to give more to me. And, maybe, stellanoir, this could be true for you? When I see my kitties look at me with those "eyes of love", I know, in my heart, that I am worth giving to. Why else would these pure, sweet beings have so much love for me?

[NMDemDist2]

40. stella, I hope you got medical attention

teeth are nothing to ignore!

here's hoping you feel better and you have been in my thoughts the last few days :hug: