Does anyone else feel....extraordinarily on edge....

[OneGrassRoot]

more so than usual?

I know it's been a rollercoaster ride for many of us...riding the waves of intensity these last few weeks.

But, today I feel as though I'm a volcano and ready to blow. Yikes!!! The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone's feelings or cause inadvertent harm (even emotionally), so I shall definitely keep my nose to the grindstone and avoid contact as much as possible today. :eyes:

Just wondering if others feel the same and, if so, know that I send you hugssss.....we're gonna need them!!!!

It's not a full moon or anything, right?

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Sienna86]

1. Hi OneGrassRoot

I feel the same way. I feel very edgey, like I need to go out in the middle of a forest and let out a primal scream or something. Maybe for me it's this long winter indoors and the almost total lack of personal downtown. I crave some alone time in nature right now.

[OneGrassRoot]

4. primal scream indeed.....

More hugs to you, Sienna86....:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[ricochetastroman]

2. All the planets

are on one side of the zodiac. Saturn in Virgo is on the other. This makes Saturn extraordinarily strong now. There is little to do now except work hard until 4/13, which is when I think it will break. Good luck.

[OneGrassRoot]

3. And, since I am Virgo through and through....

that pretty much explains it, eh?

Thanks, ricochetastroman

:)

[MorningGlow]

5. I went all crabby over the weekend for no reason

I started dwelling on a conflict I had had (MONTHS ago) with an acquaintance, and then started jumping to conclusions, connecting that conflict with other people ("did the acquaintance lie to the other people about me and that's why they're not in communication with me lately?!?!")--talk about paranoia! Came out left field. It disspiated, though. Still... :wtf:

[woodsprite]

6. I'm feeling the same way.

I didn't think I could have less personal time than I already had, but life has been a ridiculous pace these last couple of weeks. And it's everywhere - alone time at work, at home, etc. Even times during the day that I used to be able to steal a bit of time to regroup and just think through what my next moves were going to be. I feel like I can't even think!

I hope by my birthday (Apr 13th) that things turn around.

It's been especially tense around work since it's performance eval time, we're also under a new admin, and reorganizing our workgroups. Hubby works in the same department, but with different groups. He *may* be getting a promotion, don't know for sure, although he's taken on alot more responsibility.

Office politics and the boss's girlfriend figure into the mix, so we're not sure it's going to even happen. Usually when the boss promotes hubby, his girlfriend gets promoted to the same level. I think they're trying to figure out how boss can make them both directors and give them an equal number of people to 'supervise'. UGH!!!

I have 5 years until I'm eligible to retire. I hope my aries disposition holds out that long. ;) And here's hoping that the air clears around Easter week.

[I Have A Dream]

7. Yes! However, I only got 2 hours of sleep last night and worked...

36 hours (unpaid :eyes:) over the weekend, so I think that there's an explanation for mine.

I hope that you feel better soon! :hug:

[OneGrassRoot]

8. There's a reason for mine, too, but it's still worse than usual.....lol

I feel for you, Dream! I'm essentially working four full-time jobs -- 24/7 -- only one paying, and some days it just gets to be too much. Today feels like a breaking point...but this too shall pass. :)

Sounds like many of us are overextended, overwhelmed, and fragmented, though working toward SOMETHING liberating and delightful, right? ;)

More hugs all around!!!!!

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[northernlights]

9. For me it's been the opposite

but I suspect it's the calm before the storm. Or the eye of the storm. Or something along those lines.

[BlueIris]

10. Yep. I went back "on" the flower essences again to deal. nt

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

11. Since last Friday

when all the negative energy in our neck of the woods broke loose. I got caught up in one of my old thought patterns of "gotta get everything done and please everyone" on a day neither on was going to happen. Basically went home, yelled at my dh, and get him mad--not good, for he has adrenal stress already. I've been wiped out ever since--on the verge of getting sick and very tired and depressed.

[Shallah Kali]

12. I have been having PMS-ey moments and have been trying to work *with* the energy

when I can I go into and let myself fully feel the rage and anger, ground myself, & then think of something that really needs to be unmade like the attitudes that let the Iraq war continue than direct the energy at that to dissolve it. Surpressing anger never works for long it comes out one way or another so this is how I am currently trying to use up all the years of repressed rage and thwarted justified anger.

[Myrina]

13. I am seesawing from 'flight' to 'fight' - sometimes within an hour.

If my job situation doesn't get better soon, I'm up against some really hard choices.
The temp job I have (and yes I am thankful for that) pays HALF of what I was making prior to Feb, so there's no way I can afford my mortgage as it currently stands. But CITI won't refinance me until I'm caught up (presently 45 days behind).
So ... you need to be behind to qualify for refi, but caught up to make it happen. WTF?

On top of that, I got a call from a collection agency today that my student loans are now in collections and they proposed a
monthly payment of just $1100 for 9 months to get current! Double WTF?

In addition, my daughter's graduating high school in June and turning 18, and being a temp I don't get paid time off to go see
her on the most important day of her life thus far (she lives with her dad in another state) OR even buy her a birthday gift!!

So yeah, I've been all over the map these past few weeks - from "fuck it, I'll find an apartment and leave Citi the keys to the house"
to "goddammit THIS is MY house!" -- crying the whole time.

I feel like I want to vomit, and being a 'new temp', I have to be on my absolute best behavior every minute of the day ... so the
stress is overwhelming.

Something's got to give, soon. :hugs:

:grouphug: to you OGR O8)

[OneGrassRoot]

14. You guys......

Oh man, I just read through the thread and see that I am far from alone in these feelings of hitting a wall of some sort.

I am so sorry that we're sharing similar feelings, even if our situations are different.

Myrina, Shallah, Ayesha, BlueIris, MG, woodsprite....EVERYONE (though good for you, northernlights!).....I pray so very much that this lifts. I've been so angry and ready to blow all day (and have blown up several times)...but I come here and read, and my heart breaks knowing you guys are suffering with various challenges.

I want you to know I sincerely send you all huge hugs of support and comfort and will keep everyone in my thoughts and prayers. You, your loved ones, their loved ones...lol....everyone.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Digit]

15. Today was the last day of clinicals, thank God

My teacher was all over me bigtime and the more she picked at me, the more flustered I would become, and then I would make supid mistakes.

I had complained to her superior and the retaliation was BRUTAL. The other students kept coming to my room to tell me to stick it out...their concern was very touching. We helped each other when the teacher was not around...we had to act quickly!

If I had it to do over again and knew what was in store for me; I would not have done it, and I am not the only student saying that. Many of us are having nightmares. What is more confusing is how much contradicted the book and/or contradicted the policies of the nursing home.
It was like my teacher had become a monster and we didn't even know her anymore. I was not the only target but it made me feel better to hear my fellow classmates saying I had the most difficult patients/residents and the teacher was targeting me more than the others. Maybe that sounds weird, but it is nice to know it was not my imagination.

There is more to this of course, but I cannot give details because of laws. One situation I am damn glad I reported to the nurse over my teacher's objections. I went by the book, but like I said...my teacher had turned weird on us and I got in humongous trouble. I know I did the right thing and would do the same thing again and overide her instructions.

I am sore as hell right now. Every muscle and every bone in my body hurts and I have horrible bruising.
I came home in the afternoon and kept falling asleep at the kitchen table so I took a 3 1/2 hour nap.
Like I said...today was the last day of clinicals for me, so THAT part has ended.

Hopefully things will change for the better for all of us.
I wish you all well.

[rumpel]

16. wow, I am glad I checked in here

I have been feeling so off and it feels like my vibrations are so low.
Over the past months very much a roller coaster ride for sure.
I am at the end of my rope, and I really started feeling terrible tonight.
One moment things appear to be falling into place wonderfully, and after a long wait of no movement, there are more obstacles.
I have not accomplished anything.
So, yes. It has been miserable and it suddenly hit me tonight.

I was thinking I have to raise my vibes and came here to check with you all.

I hope it will turn out ok for all of you.

:grouphug:

[elleng]

17. Me too.

Thanks for being here, y'all.

:grouphug:

[northernlights]

18. well I wrote too soon

the wave is hitting me too. Yesterday I was in my university account and saw that my program had been changed to biology major with a different advisor.

I just called the university. The last note in the system is dated January 14 and says per my program change card to move me from pre-MLT into MLT program. They had no explanation for why I was instead put into biology.

The worst thing is the MLT students are being selected *right now.* I may have caught their mistake just in time. Or it may already be too late.

So now I'm very stressed. It looks that door has been closed in my face...again. :(

[OneGrassRoot]

19. Here's to hoping you caught it in time......

sorry if I jinxed you. :(

Keep us posted, and I surely send good vibes your way that the doors you are seeking are WIDE OPEN!!!

:pals:

[OneGrassRoot]

20. Good grief....

I didn't know the history of this drama for you, northernlights.

Kind of Blue inadvertently enlightened me just now. :) (Thanks, KOB)

You must feel absolutely exhausted. Please let us know how this plays out.

You know you have abundant hugs and loving support!!! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[northernlights]

21. thank you all so much

for your kind words and support :grouphug:

It looks like I caught it in time -- the selection process is going on "this month" as opposed to "this week." The system has already been changed, but it still isn't accurate so I need to check tomorrow.

In the meantime, I spoke with the MLT students in my chem lab today. Apparently they all experienced mixups every step of the way -- although I don't think any had as bad as I have or they wouldn't have made it into the program last Sept. One of them did warn me that it's only going to get worse. He was very happy last fall, but has been continuous gripes this spring. Uh-oh.

So I sent an email to the MLT program director. And my chemistry prof (who is the head of the Biology dept.) called her. I have mixed feelings about that -- she said she wanted to speak with her first to make sure she didn't think I was some kind of nut!!!! She then explained that sometimes word gets around the university and given my recent problems with the oral communications prof, who knows. Then she further explained that she really just wanted an excuse to talk to the brand new MLT director. So who knows?!? :silly:

The only message I've gotten from the ether was this morning, when I heard someone saying, "I don't know how we're going to tell her this."

[Butch350]

22. Every Dam Day!

[BanzaiBonnie]

23. I woke at about 2:30 am

and did some intense meditation. Sent waves of peace around the world. I could see it flowing and moving across the planet. I have the website 8000 for peace and so I was thinking, rather than wait for the 8000, why not ask for the assistance of 8000 to use here, now as I sent out my meditation.

Hope you all felt that.

I came here after and found this thread. Yeah, things have been bouncy. Here's to the smoothing out of everything for everyone.

[Butch350]

25. Nope. Didn't feel it. But there have been a lot of shootings in the news lately.

You must have sent the wrong wave.

[Callie McAllie]

24. This weekend I woke up early on Saturday

and could not go back to sleep. I was filled with anxiety, something I am really not prone to.

Still having anxious thoughts about specific events upcoming in my life, but nothing like the anxiety attack I had Saturday morning.