Breaking: Obama and Clinton Drop Out of Race

[benny05]

Reported by CJ Sarah Lane (and cross-posted from EENR/Benny's World blogs by permission)

In a stunning development, both Obama and Clinton have decided to drop out of the race for President. Word from both camps is that Hillary and Obama had a private meeting last night over cocktails. According to an anonymous source, both Clinton and Obama had been nervous about their poll numbers against John McCain. They were sick of fighting with each other, and they wanted the election to be about the issues again. The anonymous source said that both candidates agreed that conceding the election to John Edwards was the right thing to do. We should be expecting a press conference announcing their withdrawals from the race later this afternoon.

I was thrilled to hear about the developments. No more bickering between campaigns. No more negative attacks. No more attacks by way of their surrogates. Both Obama and Hillary have decided to take the high road and hand over the nomination to Edwards. The press has been trying to reach the Edwards Campaign all morning, but their spokesman said they were not available for comment.

If things couldn't get any stranger, when Karl Rove heard the news today that Edwards was going to be the nominee, he fled the country. Rove's spokesman said that there was no place for him in America if Edwards was President. There have also been reports of Cheney bashing his head into the bathroom wall in the Capitol Building. No one is sure if it's because Edwards is the nominee, or if another puppy peed on his leg. Apparently, it happens to him regularly.



Thanks Sarah Lane, for this wonderful snark. Now if only it were true....

(image courtesy of Pioneer, EENR Blog)

[benny05]

1. Another Funny

I saw this at Atrios's blog:

Borowitz:

Nader Tells Gravel to Get Out of Race

Just days after former Alaska senator Mike Gravel announced his independent candidacy for president, the newly minted candidate received his first demand that he get out of the race.

"Mike Gravel should get out of the race, and get out now," said independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader. "The longer he stays in, the greater risk he runs of making a fool of himself."

Mr. Nader said that Mr. Gravel accomplished great things as a senator from Alaska, but added, "If you run a foolish, meaningless campaign for president, pretty soon people will forget all the good you achieved way back when. The last thing you want to be thought of is as some tiresome old gas-bag who likes seeing himself on TV," he added.

The former consumer activist said he does not believe that many Americans will waste their votes on Mr. Gravel, but warned that "even a few votes in a few states could have a catastrophic effect."

"If Mike Gravel's presence in the race winds up leading to the election of a Republican who then leads us into a disastrous war, I don't know how he'll live with himself," Mr. Nader said.

[saracat]

2. Can we post this in GDP? Or will you? This needs to be K and Red!

[benny05]

3. I chose not to go there

The humor would have been lost on them.

[waiting for hope]

4. Seriously -

You would be flamed and deemed a troll. But, there is a decent post on the Front Page right now with a ton of recs, apparently we are not the only ones to see the ugliness.