I've been thinking about this for a little while now

[Tobin S.]

About a week I guess. I was going to say something in GD about race relations, but you guys suggested that I post a draft here first so you could help me keep from getting torched too bad. I think that was a good suggestion and I'm going to take you up on it. I would also be interested in making this a collaborative effort if anyone wants to jump in, but this might be too personal for that to work. We will see. So, here we go.

I'm a 37 year old white man. Might as well get that out of the way first to avoid any confusion.

About a week ago someone posted a thread in GD containing a link to a silly web site that had put up a stereotypical list of a bunch of things white people like. I thought it was pretty funny, but GD didn't think so. Then the real hilarity ensued. The poor, oppressed, white people of DU started crying, "Racism!" Now that's funny. The reason I think that's so funny is because I remember my history lessons about the slaves, and Abe Lincoln, and the Civil War, and jim crow, and the civil rights struggle, and Martin Luther King Jr. I also know that there is nothing a black person can say or do, short of physical violence, that can hurt me. Ethnic slurs? If it wasn't for it probably being said out of extreme anger, it might tickle my funny bone. Denied jobs based on being a white guy? Never. I've only had one black boss and he never had a problem with me. I've been a trucker for the last 13 years and if you can drive a truck it doesn't matter if you are purple, you can get a job. You might want to get that looked at, though. Racial profiling? Well, when I was 17, had long hair, drank and drove, and smelled like reefer...maybe. Wait, that's not racial profiling. That's young punk profiling. Denied a good education because I'm white? Are you guys getting the picture here?

Wait...there is one thing a black person can do to me that can hurt me. When I was in the 2nd grade my family lived in a black neighborhood. We didn't live there because we were enlightened white people trying to de-segregate the city of Dayton, Ohio (more on this town in a minute). We lived there because, frankly, we were too poor to live anywhere else. So I went to school with the black kids. I knew I kind of stuck out and that I was different from most of the kids. But it didn't take long before I made a few friends and felt comfortable there. One of my friends was a black kid named Caleb. We would hang out on the playground together and do the things that 7 year old boys do. Then one day Caleb started ignoring me and I didn't know why. I finally got it out of him. He said that his dad told him not to talk to any of the white kids at school. I knew Caleb didn't hate me, though. And when I became a man and started to understand the complexities of the world, I understood why Caleb's dad felt the way he did about white people...and I don't hate him.

Yeah, that's the only time a black person has ever hurt me. Some of you may know that I write stories about my adventures on the road. I drove team with a black man for about a year and I wrote a story about him. If you are not a familiar with team driving a truck, that means that two drivers occupy the same truck at the same time. They live with each other in that truck, sometimes for over a month at a time. I named my co-driver "Caleb" in the story.

Dayton. I've lived here since I was 4. This is the part of the world where I feel most at ease. There are more glamorous, temperate, and exciting places to live, I guess, but none of them can make me feel the way this place does. But Dayton is a troubled place. Lots of people out of work around here right now. And despite being a liberal city (not counting the suburbs) and having a 60% black majority (last I heard) the city of Dayton is still segregated a great deal in the housing and education departments. The lines are most clearly drawn in the divide between poor black people and poor white people. If you are poor and white you live on the east side. If you are poor and black you live on the west side. On both sides housing prices and business development are depressed, but it's much more pronounced on the west side. Crime is a problem on both sides. And despite these two groups of people having almost everything in common aside from their skin color, they generally do not mix. It's been like that for as long as I can remember. Some of you people from the big cities on the east and west coasts probably wouldn't believe it unless I took you on a tour of the place. There are no jim crow laws to keep these people separated, but there is still segregation.

Here's a tip white folks. This is the way I keep myself honest regarding racial matters. I keep my mind open to the idea that no matter how enlightened I think I am I may still harbor some racist attitudes and beliefs. In doing that I have discovered such things in myself and I was able to root them out and make myself a better person. It works for sexism and homophobia as well. I realized that when I look at a white man I see just another person. But when I look at a black person or a woman or a gay man I may not be seeing what is really there- just another person. I may be seeing my own biases and bigotry being reflected back to me.

Okay everyone. I'm running out of steam. Worked all night. I'll leave it at that and I eagerly await your input. I can probably pick it back up tomorrow. Or if you like it as is, maybe it would be a good place for someone else to jump. I'll catch you later. Wow! Spell checked it and no mistakes. Am I a bad ass or what?

[firedupdem]

1. You are a bad ass, and I'm enjoying reading your pieces...

very interesting. Keep em coming. :)

[Number23]

2. Fantastic. Just be prepared to have this drop like a stone if you post it in GD

Black issues only seem to be discussed around here if they're "heated" for some reason (ie Skip Gates). Every day discussions on racism in this country or even on DU are generally ignored.

[Fire1]

3. I was born and raised in the great state of Ky and still go back

to the ole homestead every year. The segregation you describe in Dayton is exactly the same in Louisville. They even have "unofficial" names for certain parts of town, as do many places, I'm sure. Interestingly enough, much of the segregation in the north and south are self imposed and it's understandable.

The thing that gets to me is what has happened during Derby for the last several years. If you know anything about the Derby, you know that over the years it has grown and grown and taken on a life of it's own. Schools and banks are even closed Derby weekend, although, the celebration actually extends over a two week period. Parties, parades, concerts, you name it. Unfortunately, most in the AA community don't have the means to participate in these events. Consequently, they started organizing their own festivities mid-way down the main street in the center of town. The mayor acknowledged what was to become the annual street party with people coming from Ohio and all over to show off their "pimped" out rides with booming radio speaker systems, "spinners," hydraulics and the like. Barbecue pits and vendors lined the street. Police were there for security and blocked off certain streets to provide access to other areas of town. All went well for many years until crowds got larger, weed and liquor started flowing freely, people started riding on the hoods and tops of their cars and it just got out of hand. Citizens started complaining and you know the rest.
The next thing I know, the WHOLE THING was canceled! Black folks were MAD! To add insult to injury, people on the west end had to HAVE A CITY ADMINISTERED PASS to get up and down the main street of town! The pass had to be visible on the dash board of your car!
Without this pass, if you lived on the west end, you couldn't go downtown and back! People called the city council members and even the Courier Journal. The mayor got the churches involved. The churches agreed to set up an amusement park in a PARKING LOT OF A STRIP MALL and the people had to WALK to the lot and back home. I was astounded. I haven't seen that kind of racism in many many years. My ex said he got a "Mississippi flashback!" LOL!!! It's not funny but you have to find the humor or you'll explode.

My family has been fortunate, in that, we always have passes to participate in the traditional festivities, like going to Churchill Downs on Derby day, the Grand Gala, and parties given by government officials and organizations. However, many of the "official" festivities are also segregated. The racism in this country never ceases to amaze me.

[Brewman_Jax]

4. Glad to see you understand

There's a big difference between having your feelings hurt and having your rights, choices, and opportunities limited because you have the wrong skin color. Most white people can't see the difference. :crazy:

[noiretextatique]

9. everybody is racist

nothing more infuriating than that statement, which surfaces in every thread about racism here.

[Karenina]

5. Excellent!

:yourock: Where's the rest? :applause:

[Tobin S.]

6. Thank you and everyone above, too

I think the essay stands on its own pretty good. It needs a little editing, but I think if I were going to add anything it would be something like this to the last paragraph:

When someone tells you something is bigoted, and you don't understand why, take the time to ponder it for a minute. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not there. If you still don't understand after thinking about it ask the person this, "I honestly don't understand how that's bigoted. Can you fill me in?" If people would do that one simple thing, we'd probably have many more productive conversations here.

I'm open to suggestions, too.

[Karenina]

7. Put that bit on the end and PRINT!

one tiny suggestion:

When someone tells you something is bigoted, and you don't understand why, before rushing in to deny their perceptions, take the time to ponder it for a minute.

And here: I named my co-driver "Caleb" in the story.

Do you know how to do that thingy where "Caleb" appears in blue and is a link to the story?

[Tobin S.]

8. No I don't know how to do that, but I'd like to know how

Also, if you are referring to the version of the Caleb story that I posted here a while back, I have changed it a bit since then and I think the version I have now is better. I guess I could post the newest edition here and then post a link to it.

I like the suggestion for the last paragraph, too.

Merry Christmas and I hope you got lots of nice things.

[noiretextatique]

10. i remember the look on my dad's face when i told him i was given a smaller raise

than a white women who never even bothered to show up to work. he was more crushed than i was. he thought things might be different for me than they were for him. and they are...i don't have to deal with the same level of disrespect he had to endure. but things haven't changed as much as we like to pretend in this country, as you mention, segregation is still prevalent, and not just in the the midwest. i live in california, and segregation is still rampant here. there is more integration here than in Dayton, but for the most, segregation is still as entrenched as it was when i was a child, when i saw the white flight first hand.