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I am so tired of feeling this way :
obessing over things that are not true,over analyzing every single detail that I see ,hear, - imagining shit that is not true, saying things that I don't mean. I feel so weak. I want to go outside and just go for a walk but I feel like I am being held down by force in a cell. I have the freedom to go but my mind is preventing me from doing so.
I wish my relatives would just call me every now and then to ask me if I am alright.I wish they would just listen to me instead of always talking about the people who go to their church all the damn time.
Whenever we have family dinners I feel like an oddball out. Its hard for me to sit in the room with these people even though they have done nothing wrong. Its my brain , not me ...
I swear I hate my current shift. I work 3rd shift. I need to get off of 3rd shift. Its messing me up mentally.
I pray and pray and pray ... when will I feel the change.
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