It has been a month today that my husband died. I am at a loss

[yy4me]

as to what to do with myself. I have gone back to work this week and my co-workers have been great but I am having trouble wanting to be there.

My house is a mess, there are dust kitties all over the place, the weeds need pulling in my little garden, and here I sit. I cannot muster up the energy to do anything. This hollow feeling I have seems to keep me from moving.

Cooking is nil. My biggest meal since he died is a BLT. I can look at that freezer and then just close the door.

I feel that my memory is going. If I go upstairs for anything, I don't seem to remember why. Sleep is something I used to do, now I read a little and make an effort to get some rest but the room feels strange.

I have yet to go to the grocery store, I don't know what to buy. Shopping for one will be a very depressing thing and I am avoiding it.

TV is horrible. For money reasons, I canceled my extended cable service. Now I cannot even watch Countdown. The basic offerings here do not even tempt me to turn the machine on.

If not for DU, I wonder what I would do in the hours that I have to keep busy.
Thank you all for being here.

[easttexaslefty]

1. all those things are "normal"

the pain gets softer with time. the memory starts to improve. Try to eat as healthy as you can. A little light exercise can help some with the depression. Keep writing to us. The house can wait..I just name the dust bunnies now.Cry when you feel like it. Feel free to PM me anytime.

[mopinko]

2. hugs to you, yy4me

you don't say what your finances are like (and sure don't have to) but i hope that i am not suggesting things that might aggravate a tight situation.
2 things jump out at me- #1 is sleep. can you get something to help you sleep for a while? i swear ambien has saved my life. not just that i get to sleep faster, but also that when i am a little keyed up at bedtime, i don't worry about how long i will toss and turn as i used to so often. sleep is the foundation of mood, and everything else that your brain does. it may not help you feel "happier", but it will help you function better, help your memory, and probably help your appetite.
#2- eating. is there anyone around you that would go out to eat with you? maybe that would be helpful. but if not- you just need a little help right now, and having someone "cook" for you is not a lot to ask. if you can afford it, try to treat yourself. eat what you want. have a banana split for dinner. do you have a favorite place to go? you not only need it, you deserve it.

:hug: dear one. take care, and let us know how you are doing.

[emilyg]

3. Give yourself time to grieve

I promise you it does get easier. Get dressed - go to corner deli or fast-food and eat. Please get something to help you sleep. Hugs.

[EFerrari]

4. You don't have to decide anything right now.

:hug:

[Eurobabe]

5. Oh yy, I am so sorry for the big hole in your heart

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I don't stop in here much, but another DU'er lost her ginger kitty and I was distraught reading her message, then I saw yours.

I think these in between times, after life has somewhat gotten back to "normal" are the hardest; people are busy, they go on with their lives, and you feel like you are stuck on square one.

Take it one day at a time, and if you are just functioning right now, tell yourself that's okay. It will get better, but in the meantime I'd just go with it. Hang in there, and yeah DU is a great support network. Lean on us if you'd like we're there for you. :grouphug: