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My brother apparently is in end stage alcoholism

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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 03:29 PM
Original message
My brother apparently is in end stage alcoholism
He is jobless, carless, living in a hotel and kicked out by his latest girlfriend. In addition to alcohol he is using cocaine. We have always had a complicated relationship. I think my being gay was never totally OK with him. In addition, he and I fought constantly as kids with him being the winner pretty much all the time. He was always the charming, physically adept one while I was the bookish, physically inept one. Sadly he is just not wanting to quit. It has been a couple years since I last saw him so I don't know how bad he is physically. I hope I am wrong and he will turn it around, but I just don't think it is going to happen. I am closing in on seven years sober but can't help him unless he wants to help himself.
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sorry DSC
you are right.

And whatever he doesn't agree with about you has nothing to do with his not getting sober, and it certainly isn't your fault (I don't think I was reading that but I wanted to make that clear as I certainly would never want anyone to think they were in any way responsible for someone else's recovery in any way shape or form)

Maybe he'll find recovery. Maybe he is one of those in our lives who is there to give us an example of how we don't want to end up.

I'm sorry you are going through this, it can't be easy.

:hug:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 04:52 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thanks
It isn't easy by any means. I don't blame myself but at the same time I just wish whatever it was that made it work for me would happen for him. It just is a sad situation.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 06:13 PM
Response to Original message
3. I'm so sorry dsc
it is so painful to watch helplessly I know

:hug:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 06:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. thanks
Admittedly I am more hearing that watching but it still kind of sucks.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-20-07 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
5. Stories like yours really reinforce my hatred of this disease.
:hug:

Thank you for sharing it though, because I still need to hear it.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
6. an update
I got a call from my brother today. A minister that I was able to get him in contact with will be taking him to church tomorrow and might be getting him treatment.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That is good news!
I hope your brother gets the treatment he needs, and stays sober!

:hug:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. thanks
Ironically he will have the gay mafia to thank if it does work. I never would have known of this minsiter but through some gay friends of mine.
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KitchenWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. I love the irony in that!
:hi:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. so do I, so do I
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Great Call!
It's amazing how many resources there are when someone get really ready to make a change.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-27-07 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. It is amazing how small the world can be
I am so glad that my journey crossed this minister's.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-28-07 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
13. another update
The pastor took him to church and evidently found a treatment through the VA. He will be housed and treated through them. I will get a call tomorrow when it happens. This guy was a total Godsend.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-29-07 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. awesome news dsc!
:hug: :yourock:

hope your brother finds the recovery he needs
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-02-07 07:05 PM
Response to Original message
15. another update
He is 6 days sober and in an intensive outpatient program pending a residential one. I am honestly amazed at how great this pastor is. He has my brother working at his church during the days and is feeding him.
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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-02-07 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Do you know
if the pastor is in recovery?
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-03-07 06:35 AM
Response to Reply #16
17. yeah
that is why his ministry is what it is.
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-03-07 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. baby steps, one day at a time
loving prayers for your brother and to that wonder minister

:hug:
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-04-07 06:20 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. Thanks
I am so amazed at how great this guy turned out to be. I know it is a long journey but he has gotten a good first step.
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Kajsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-11-07 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. This is fantastic news, Dsc!

This is such an uplifting story of hope and recovery for your brother!

Thank God for that wonderful minister. Your brother is lucky to have
you!

I wish him the best as begins traveling on his road to recovery.

:hug:
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