Rapture Types Are Serious. AS HELL,

[Ripley]

I have discovered five within my own extended family tonight alone. They freaking exhausted me.

They say Hamas attacked Israel. They say children have been kidnapped by terrorists.. and God HATES Me.

So.

OW.

I am STILL ALIVE!!!!!

[Rex]

1. I have buttloads of rapture relatives.

Their brains stop evolving or expanding. It really is scary.

[Redstone]

4. I'll BET it's scary.

Redstone

[Redstone]

2. Whoa. five in your family? Unplug your phone, my friend. Filter them

from your e-mail.

Do it to protect yourself.

Redstone

[tsuki]

3. With luck, the sky taxi will come for all the rapture types and whisk

them away to the Gitmo Hilton.

[GrpCaptMandrake]

6. That would be

the "Holy Rolls," making these cretins, of course, "Holy Rollsers."

Sorry. Couldn't help it.

[proud patriot]

5. God does not hate you

God does not hate .

[liberal N proud]

7. It is like a mental illness or an addiction

They simply can not be reasoned with. When I run across these people I just stare at them and let them go on about the 4 white steeds and being carried up to the heavens.
I must attract these people or something.

[Erika]

9. They've been climbing on the roofs since the 30's

But their leaders told them W was the one to get the job done. With his potty mouth? I don't quite think so.

[Ripley]

13. Laughing out loud.

Thanks, kid.

[RagAss]

10. True...it's usually a replacement for an addiction

[serryjw]

11. Did I hear they are going to get a whole bunch

of virgins or something. I have lived all over this country and Clearwater, Florida is cary....I left!

[Erika]

8. The jokes on them. The right wingers sold them a bill of goods

when they said W was the appointed one. All we'll get is poorer while the rich get richer.

[CoffeeCat]

12. There are one string of Rapturites...

...in our family.

This family has a children's book "The True Story of Noah's Ark" on their coffee table. Inside the book, are pictures of dinosaurs boarding the ark.

Yep, folks. These people actually believe that Noah ushered two 20-foot, flesh-eating-machine Allosaureses onto an "ark" and that they didn't eat the squirrels, deer or lemurs during the ocean voyage.

[ngant17]

19. logistical problems

I'd like to know how he kept the Austrailan funnel-web spiders and similar poisonous tarantula spiders from mis-behaving for 30 days and 30 nights, and how did he even keep species that only live in tropical humid enviroments (i.e., Amazon rainforest) alive in the same boat with the artic, cold-weather species. Was this a climate-controlled environment? I assume he didn't need to bring the aquatic species.

In any case, when did Noah build the air-conditioning and heating system to keep 3 million species alive, how were they fed, and how was this system powered? A gasoline generator? Where did he store the gasoline to run it continuously for a whole month non-stop?

Why not just have God wave the magic wand and dispense with the rationality?

[renate]

22. your logical error is that you are using logic

Folks like these don't need no stinkin' logic.

[RoyGBiv]

14. I'll trade ya ...

The only relatives I have who lived near me (except my mother, and she's wavering) are all rapturites. That's nine (9) within a twenty mile radius.

Took my mother to a movie last night. One of the rapturites broke into Biblo-speak said we should forego such worldy illusions and make our peace with God ... NOW ... for the rapture is upon us.

"Oh really. *You're* still here."

I'll be "left behind" of course.

[DELUSIONAL]

15. they are religiously insane

for my OWN sanity -- I have nothing to do with idiots like this -- they are toxic.

[Swamp Rat]

16. They should rapture themselves already and make the world a better place

Anyway, I need a new car and a house. :)

[rucky]

17. Boy are they going to be dissapointed. n/t

[Lex]

18. Tell them to go ahead and assign title of their cars and house to you

since the Rapture is coming and all.

[unhappycamper]

24. Don't forget to tell 'em to leave the keys & the alarm codes. n/t

[allalone]

20. all I know,

is if they go, they'd better take * with them

[raysr]

21. LOL, I wish

I had some RR relatives, I'd have some real fun then.

[zcflint09]

23. Maybe you should "rapture" them.

Just kidding. That's gotta be disturbing--I probably would have left the function.