freeper encounter today

[jogi1969]

let me preface this with a few things:
1) I am of Eastern Indian decent like SR Sidarth
2)My mom is in the hospital to get a pacemaker
3) this happened in Houston TX

so to save on the hospital parking I take the rail into the medical center.
Today I walking up to the platform to wait for the train when I pass up a scary looking (think "faces of meth") white lady - as I am passing her she ask me "are you Bin Laden?"
Not one to let stuff like that go I ask in return "are you with the Dept of Homeland Security?"
freeper lady says with much attitude "WHY?!"
I respond "I did not know that they lowered the hiring standards"
that shut her up - or so it seemed

on the ride in freeper lady is sitting a few rows back an I can kinda make out her saying "Osama...mumble....Osama...grumble.... get ready to call the police..."

the next stop she gets up and stands in front of me and says "I was born here so don't insult me again"

I look at her like she has a horn growing out of her head and say "whats gonna happen you stupid white trash POS?"

by this time the train had taken off and the doors closed - 5 min till the next platform - so freeper lady sits in the seat in front of me and again starts telling me that she was born here when she sits down I smell some really nasty foul odor - I ask "is that you? my god you stink!"

she then proceeds to tell me that 'real' Americans are fighting for 'my kind' that her father & her father's father all fought in the army to protect America from 'my kind', I tell her that she should call the Army to air-drop her some soap & deodorant an maybe some mouthwash

I start to go off on her - I am cussing like a sailor with blue balls, questioning her level of inbreeding, calling her a white trash POS, in this a black woman a few rows back says louder than both of us "I have my kids on this train"

I look at her an say "Lady you should be helping me smack this bitch down - what do you think her pet name for you is?!?"

I go back to insulting freeper lady till my stop comes - when it does I get up in front of her and say "bye bye white trash" and step onto the platform

should I have handled this another way?

[panader0]

1. I think you handled it fine. Good for you. Most bullies don't expect

people to stand up to them.

[Broken_Hero]

3. I agree

besides, argue logically, and calmly...same thing would have happened, the lady still breathing fire...at least this way, the flames were fanned evenly....:)

[liberaldemocrat7]

33. You did fine. Noone should call you Bin Laden.

That appears a gross insult.

You might also have asked her if she just came from her Klan meeting. I call the other party the REPUBLIKLAN Party.

If anyone says that their white trash relative fights over in Iraq for you tell them NO and that some Democrat you know fighting over in Iraq fights for me.


I usually tell freepers, no, that person did not fight for me, but my father who voted Democratic for years who fought in World War II fought for my freedom. That shuts them up.

Besides why should any soldier fight over there for freedom and then come home Vote Republican which will result in taking away freedom and Democracy here?

[Maestro]

2. No

Xenophobic poor white trash make me ill. I think you did well. I would have hit her I believe.

[Kutjara]

4. Well, I don't think the diplomatic service...

...will be offering you a job anytime soon, but after the provocation you received, I'd be hard pressed to recommend reacting any other way. It's not like you missed an opportunity to turn a wavering freeper away from the dark side: her kind of pig-ignorance is bred in the bone. She'll be an unthinking bigot to the grave.

You could have called her Timothy McVeigh, but the irony would no doubt sail right over her head.

[Tulum_Moon]

9. No I think you handled it very poorly!

You should have just pushed from the train.

[Touchdown]

36. You need a discalimer on your post

"that's a joke, just in case you didn't notice, Michelle Malkin."

If Coulter can use it, then so can you!
:hi:

[Tulum_Moon]

51. Thank you Touchdown

YES! That was a joke!
My edit time was elapsed. I will remember my :sarcasm: option next time.
:hi:

[jogi1969]

17. I thought my 1st response

about the DHS lowering standards was a good warning shot to let freeper lady know she was outclassed

it did shut her up - matter of fact it took her a good 10 min after we boarded the train to realize that it was an insult

[Bluzmann57]

5. Ok, I'm white and cannot know what you must be going through

But I think you may have handled the situation wrongly. The Black woman had a point when she mentioned she had her kids with her. Kids are going to hear that stuff, they don't need it in the subway. But, that broad (no apologies) was a total asshole to ask if you were Bin Laden. But then she may be mentally ill. I have no sympathy for her, but am stating a possibility. But when you said "Bye bye white trash", that wasn't bad. There is no doubt she is a coward. None. One more thing. I think most big city trains have some sort of security. Maybe you should have contacted them. Ok ok, one more thing. Hope your mom is ok. My best wishes are with her, and you as well. Good luck in the future.

[Guaranteed]

8. I agree- I think that kids are going to hear this factors in strongly-

in favor of a strong response.

I don't think kids should be learning that white people have a right to abuse people of other races.

[treestar]

61. Kids all have to learn what goes on in the world

You can only keep them in fairy prison so long. Don't take kids out in public, because you can't control what people do in public.

Besides, if he said nothing, the kids wouldn't learn that the old crazy lady was wrong, would they?

The black lady was probably trying to defuse the situation and just using the kids as an excuse, hoping both parties would shut up when they realized there were kids around. But the main poster is right. She could have aimed her smackdown at the crazy old racist lady.

[mockmonkey]

6. I'm glad

you stood up for yourself. :applause:

[Guaranteed]

7. Nothing but totally appropriate.

Some people need to learn that they don't have the right to be disrespectful to people with darker skin than theirs.

[Fountain79]

10. To be honest....

It was pointless to engage this woman and further pointless to cuss her out. It's like arguing with a drunk person, even if you win, it's not that big of a deal. I can't say how I would have handled it, I would have just laughed at her and that's it. I can understand why the black woman was upset about the confrontation.

[Guaranteed]

15. I think it was jogi's *duty* to stand up for himself.

He had a responsibility to the sense of justice of every person within earshot to make sure that this lady didn't get away with such abusive behavior, unopposed.

[Fountain79]

18. That's your opinion...but why

stoop to the level of the woman? Why cuss her out? Be the bigger person and ignore her...

[jogi1969]

20. because this far and no further

when I am faced with hatred and ignorance - it does not have to be directed at me - if I am part of a conversation that demeans other people I speak out.

When I have to go visit my relatives who are paleo-cons - believe me rich east Indians are as greedy as Big Dick himself - they don't pull their Republican talking points when I am in the roon
- why do we (liberals/progressives) have to be polite when faced with this?

If a person can not stand up and fight back against ignorance thrown at him - who would believe s/he would fight for anyone else?

[Fountain79]

21. Just to make sure I understand this...

You fought ignorance by being ignorant....that makes total sense. :sarcasm:

[jogi1969]

24. this fight was not under Marquis De Queensbury rules

I got into the trenches to fight this freeper, when Sean Hannity/Bill O'liely/Rush say bigoted things they couch it in terms that the bownshirts can get they don't use profane words but the intent & meaning are the same.

If this freeper started saying Republican talking points I would have dismantled her arguments

But she was not trying to argue policy with me her whole thing was to demean & dehumanize - so off with the gloves and Katie bar the door.

[Fountain79]

25. Again I go back to my original point...

what did you prove to this woman or anyone for that matter? That some obviously crazy woman can draw you into a cussing/shouting match where you could look just as foolish as her? I sympathize with you but I am sorry you engaged in a pointless exchange with a woman who was likely mentally unstable.

[jogi1969]

28. If there was a better way to handle it

I am open to suggestions

please let me know what I could have done - except for ignore it

the just ignore it response makes me think of that Rev Noemiller (sp?)
quote "... when they came for me ..no one was left to speak out"

so please; I sit at your feet awaiting instruction

[Fountain79]

30. You are honestly comparing your situation with crazy lady...

with the Holocaust?...now you are just being silly.

[blogslut]

37. You were mad and Houston is hot

You lost your cool. I can dig it.

Just the same, I would have done it different. I would have said to her so all could hear:

"Bin Ladin is Arab. I am Indian. Do you even know the difference? Where did you go to school? Do they teach geography in your school? Did you even finish high school? Did they teach you to bathe in that school?"

You know. Stuff like that.

[suziedemocrat]

94. Exactly - laugh and tell her to take a geography course.

Cussing and calling her names - very bad IMO. It gives her comments weight they don't deserve.

I find openly laughing at someone's stupidity is much more effective than anger. Dismissing her as stupid and harmless (which she was) would humiliate her. Humiliation is a tough pill to swallow.

People make these comments to incite anger. You gave her what she wanted.

[treestar]

62. Ignoring them does not work. They just get emboldened.

Haven't we learned that in the past 30 years? Look how far right the nation has moved. It's from being too polite and taking the high road. They don't understand the high road. They just get braver and braver. Does Annthrax Coulter die of embarassment? No, she goes on TV and spits it all out.

They all feel safe now and are starting to let it hang out. They feel socially acceptable. The crazy old woman would have kept her stupid thoughts to herself in the 70s or 80s, being too embarassed to admit to them or knowing or having a sense of the wrongness. But we've let them move the whole dialogue to the right but applying the high road nonsense that does not have any effect on them and just emboldens them to think they can consider their views respectable.

[Fountain79]

75. Can you entertain the idea for a second...

that this woman was probably crazy and/or mentally unbalanced?

[mntleo2]

32. IMO You Were A Good Example To Those Kids!

Because you stood up for yourself and ALL people of color who have to face racism every day. I am white, and I have kids who are from both Mexican American and African American lineage. If I had been on the subway with you and my kids, I (hope) I would have turned to them and said loudly for all to hear, "See? THAT is what you do when someone insults you for being born who you are and I will be standing right there with you!"

My 2 cents

Cat In Seattle <--- even though I am poor I hope I am never considered white trash :yoiks:

[Fountain79]

49. By being just as ignorant as the person who was ignorant in

the first place?

[treestar]

63. No, by being right.

And standing up for it to the person in terms that person will understand. Be nice and polite to freeper types and they just sense weakness and go for more. A strategy that works on us does not work on them.

People can't just ignore bullies; that's what freepers generally are, underneath. Ignore them and they go on to destroy more.

[Fountain79]

68. Once again....

This woman didn't sound like a "freeper" type she just merely sounded mentally unstable. Normal people don't ask someone point blank, "Are you bin Laden?" It's honestly amazing to me that you and several other people on hear are taking a grown man making an ass of himself as some kind of victory against conservatives.

[Gormy Cuss]

89. What if the woman was mentally ill?

I've ridden mass transit for years. Off color ranting by a person who looks like a meth addict and has bad body odor usually equates to homeless and mentally ill off meds or self medicating on the wrong ones. Arguing with someone like that is futile and you are only making everyone else uncomfortable. I'm with you at the beginning when you stood up to her bin Laden crack, but continuing after the mother interjected and directing some of your tirade to that mother made you as objectionable as the woman who started it.

I hope that your mother is doing well.

[Kahuna]

39. He did her a big favor by cussing her out today. One

day she will call the wrong personn OBL and they won't leave it at just cussing her out. Maybe because of the way she was confronted today she will think twice before she insults a total stranger.

[Fountain79]

50. Again...

She was probably mentally unstable and no that confrontation with the OP will not change her in the least. All he did was make himself look as foolish as the woman.

[Occulus]

58. Because that is ALL these people understand

They are surrounded by such all day, every day, and literally can't understand people who 'talk decent' (a very general term for something more of an attitude than a mode of speech). These people are insufferable bullies, plain and simple, and don't truly understand anything except a smack upside the head.

On the playground, that's a physical response. As an adult, it's called 'cussing one out'. It still amounts to the same thing- giving a bully what s/he very richly deserves- a reality check.

[Fountain79]

78. At the risk of sounding repetitive....

This woman was most likely mentally unstable, and judging by the "smell" that the OP talked about, likely homeless. This woman wasn't a bully she was nuts. I got in an argument with a drunk person when i was sober once, it was the dumbest thing I ever did because you can't rationalize with a drunk person. It's virtually the same thing, you can't reason with crazy and you can't reason with drunk.

[crispini]

11. "air drop her some soap" - LOL!

Ok, now THAT's funny.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

12. As a white male, I like it

I learned a long time ago that assholes come in many colors and frankly, in my experience, most of them are white. Nobody should be able to talk that kind of trash whithout getting their ass handed to them on a plate. I don't take rebublitalk from anyone without handing it back to them with both barrels

[patrice]

13. I have engaged in a few shouting matches on our street-corner

where our group has been holding forth against the Occupation of Iraq for over 3 years now.

I never feel okay after one of these altercations. I think mostly I don't feel okay because I know that there is NO changing these people and I just confirmed for them why they hate me and then they go around telling all of their hateful friends how hateful I am.

I just get soooooooo frustrated with their IGNORANCE. I don't insult them. I try to tell them stuff, but I do think they are stupid and I resent the power that such stupid people have. They don't listen. They try to shout me down. It simply doesn't work.

( BTW, I just bought John Dean's new book "Conservatives without Conscience" because I've heard he has been using some research in the Social Sciences to explain "Conservative" personality types, haven't receive it yet, but I'm looking forward to some rational explanation for the sort of thing you experienced. )

There are Quakers around our protest group. I admire their very intelligent approach, but what they do requires an appropriate context and that ain't happening on a street corner. What we need is an opportunity to explain ourselves to one another. Maybe it wouldn't matter, but at least neither side would be sooooo Ignorant.

[KitSileya]

64. Actually, I believe such smackdowns are not for the benefit

of the smackdownee, but rather for those standing around, listening in and doing nothing. Those that are being smacked down, as you say, will not change, but they aren't the most dangerous ones. The most dangerous ones are those who do nothing - by not giving an inch to the ignorant ones, they are told, in no uncertain terms, that we will not stand for it. In addition, there's a huge number of people, who need to see examples of people standing up for themselve, of being confronted with their complacency, so that they learn what is right and what is wrong. I think the merit in jogi's smack down was not in trying to get through to that racist woman, but in showing an example of what is necessary to the black lady and her kids. Those are the ones we need to reach.

[patrice]

77. I hadn't thought about it that way.

I would only hope that in doing so, some useful bit of information is given to those who watch, some fact that gives them power, not just insults.

[Fountain79]

79. See kids this is how you handle a crazy person on a train..

you scream and yell and them and make everyone on the train as uncomfortable as possible.

[XanaDUer]

81. The fact that she was grumbling and talking to

herself is probably indicative of mental illness. This lady probably took no lesson or learned anything at all from this experience. She was not "educated" about her position in the least.

IMO, the OP escalated this, admittedly, unpleasant encounter with this lady.

When I was a kid in NYC, we would see and have weird encounters with people who were ill, probably homeless, and probably mentally ill.

Know what we did? We *kept moving* and did not engage them or yell at them.

[bahrbearian]

14. What would "Gandhi Do"

[stepnw1f]

16. I'm White

and I can't blame you. Instead... Thank you. She was probably strung out on meth trying to find a victim to pass on her hell.

[ismnotwasm]

19. Well, you could have maybe.

But if I had skin other than white and was subjected to shit like that I can honestly say my response would be similar. I've cussed out assholes like that a time or two. It doesn't change the world, but It sure feels good.

Why should they get away with it? Why should we be polite?
I cuss out people I KNOW if I hear a term like "Towel head" or "Camel jockey" Mostly something like "why don't you shut the fuck up with that racist bullshit in front of me, save it for your mom" Or something.

[sakabatou]

22. LMAO!

[durrrty libby]

23. Sorry...but .....2 wrongs don't make a right

You prejudged her as much as she prejudged you

Right off the bat you said....


"scary looking (think "faces of meth")"



:spank: :thumbsdown:

[jogi1969]

26. thats the best way i can describe her

how is my prejudging the same as hers?

I was not going to ask her if she has been to re-hab today

I was not going to offer her a AA meeting calender

I would have given her the change in my pocket if she was destitute on the platform - if someone had tried to kick her off or harass her I would have stood up for her and pointed out that its the 'compassionate conservative' policy that is forcing lots of people to beg because basic human services are being cut to fund *'s war.

so how is it the same?

[FormerDem06]

45. I think you handled it fine minus the foul language....

With kids on board, and the problems we have in our society, there is no reason to help corrupt another two or three before their time. Keep in mind this comes from the dad with a six year old, who learned a ton of foul language in Kindergarten. Words are words, but the kids learn the intent of most of them and that is really sad.

Helps to make them care less about and respect others less as they grow up.

[Raine]

46. I agree

it was fine except for the foul language, that's a real turn-off. People who were innocent witnesses shouldn't have had to endure it especially when asked to tone it down. It was GOOD but for the language, so I still give it a :thumbsup:

[Guaranteed]

48. She asked to be prejudged.

She was begging for it- and certainly exhibiting the proper behavior.

Let's just say her "character" wasn't any better than her appearance.

[durrrty libby]

35. It is the same because you already had a low opinion

of her before any words were exchanged,

just as she apparently had of you.

I wonder if the exchange might have gone differently
if you had given off a warm, friendly vibe, rather than

one of disdain?

From my own experience; I find I respond more kindly to people I perceive as friendly,

than I would to people I feel are looking down their nose at me.

:toast:

[Sparkly]

27. I think I'd have handled it a different way, but then again

nobody would EVER come up to me and ask, "Are you Bin Laden?" So you and I are different people with different experiences, and thus different reactions. I can understand how you might react to that question on an emotional level, but if you set your emotions aside in hindsight, consider that there might have been ways to engage her that would have done less to contribute to her prejudices and more to open her mind.

For example, "I was born here." I'm sure looking back, you could think of a lot of other things to say to that. (Were you born here, or are you a US citizen? Tell her that. If not, remind her that her ancestors weren't all born here; tell her where you were born and how Osama has nothing to do with your ancestry; tell her your parents taught you not to make assumptions about people, and you'd appreciate it if she learned that lesson too; things like that. Take the high road but INFORM her.)

I think if you left with an air of pity for her, or bewilderment at her ignorance, it *might* have led her to think about her arrogant, insulting confrontation toward you. Leaving with "bye bye white trash" probably left her more defensive, angry, and BIASED than before, unfortunately.

Nonetheless, I can understand your anger.

[MissB]

29. Your response was perfect, Sparkly.

And it saved me a lot of typing.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

31. How did it make you feel?

How did you feel in your heart when you were done? If you felt good, then it was the right thing for you to do. Your heart is your only measure.

[ThomWV]

34. I Think You Did Just Fine

[Kahuna]

38. Most Indian people I have met have been overly polite.. So

it was probably a shock to her system that you were of the polite variety. :evilgrin:

:yourock:

[Hav]

40. .

You were absolutely right in confronting her, getting down to her level was beneath you, though.

But many probably don't know what it means when you get judged because of your heritage your whole life. When you grow up with that kind of stuff and when people see your heritage or colour first. It's like that every day. Stupid remarks and insults, the way people look at you...one day, you just got enough of that and that's why I understand the way you reacted.
I just never had the courage to do something like that.

[tlsmith1963]

41. You Were 100% Justified

She was acting like a racist, ignorant fool. She deserved everything you gave her.:thumbsup:

Tammy

[blue sky at night]

42. sorry, but I think you are treading on thin ice here,

if she had a gun, you may have been "right" but also wounded or Dead. I would ask everyone to please not lower yourselves to this level.....man, try Forgiving her. If you had simply said "I forgive you" she would have been stunned into silence...try it next time.

[sbj405]

43. Are you kidding?

I hope so. The reported behavior of the woman is unacceptable. There's no reason to acknowledge and encourage people like her.

[SofaKingLiberal]

44. You spoke to her in the only language she understands.

It's not like you could have a serious political discussion with a person like that.

[Guaranteed]

47. Bingo. I don't think she was looking for enlightened discourse.

Or even the facts (i.e., he's Indian- as if he should have to say that, defensively?). Normally, people aren't when they start out with things like, "Are you Osama?"

I think that what people are missing here is that the war had begun before jogi even responded. She WANTED it. It was up to him whether he was going to get beaten into the ground and humiliated, or give it back to her better than she could dish out.

[breakaleg]

52. I find your response amusing and I admire your courage. However,

I don't see how you did yourself any favors by 'going off on her' the way you describe. It probably would have served you and everyone around you better, to stand up for yourself, but not be dragged down by her. If you had done that, you probably would have gotten support from the people around you. As it was, they were probably uncomfortably silent.

[Fountain79]

53. Finally someone gets it! n/t

[lostnfound]

54. I hope your mom is doing better.

And I'm sorry that some ignorant woman was so mean and small-minded.

On edit; and I'm marginally glad my son wasn't on that train, which he could have been, since we've ridden it before. I say "marginally" because I would have tried to turn it into a learning opportunity about bigotry AND manners, so it might have been beneficial. But depending on what challenges that WE were facing that day -- like, if WE were also headed to the hospital to visit his sick dad or something -- it might not have been the best day for such an involved and nuanced discussion.

[Catherine Vincent]

55. Wow!

I ride the train to the med center sometimes too. I have encountered a couple of unstable persons on that train. I think that's what this lady was. For someone to be so ignorant and racists, I am surprised she was riding the train. She may have been out of her meds.

[-..__...]

56. Actually, you handled the situation rather poorly.

So you got a few good blows in on some nutcase. Big fucking deal.

Personally, I would have ended it right here...

as I am passing her she ask me "are you Bin Laden?"

Like... why even bother engaging in any sort of dialog or trading jabs?

Those sort of situations are best handled by giving the offender that "WTF" look and telling the person "Hmmm-kay.... you have a nice day now".

Conversing with the asshat acknowledges their presence and opinion... as if they really matter.

Ignoring them or dismissing them as not being worthy of a response is more of a slap in the face.

[Th1onein]

95. I think that the OP should have handled it completely differently

I would have smiled at her and laughed, and told her that no, I was not Bin Laden, but that she has a wonderful sense of humor. I would have asked her if she had met many people from the Middle East and just generally engaged her in friendly conversation. This is called "killing them with kindness" or "rising above it." It makes people feel ashamed of their nasty behavior and often opens their eyes.

[Zomby Woof]

57. I agree with the African American woman

But not so much because of the kids, but because of the childish mutual taunting and insults. Both you and the 'freeper' woman deserve each other, from the way you tell your story.

[Darth_Kitten]

72. No way.........

I hate cowards who just stand by and let things happen. Freeper lady deserved a good verbal smackdown. Thing is with these hypocrites you can't be civil with them, they won't "get" it.

[Irreverend IX]

59. "a scary looking (think 'faces of meth') white lady"

Priceless.

[Nicole]

60. I think you handled it very poorly

Let's review the "lady" in question:
She had a meth face, she was mumbling and she had poor hygiene.

She was more than likely high or mentally ill and possibly homeless with no facilities in which to bathe the stink off.

The black lady informed you that she had kids on the train, apparently in an effort to get you to shut up. Who are you to tell her she should join you in smacking down the bitch? That was obviously not something she was interested in doing.

You say you then kept insulting the freeper lady until your stop came up. Do you really think you accomplished anything, other than blowing off steam? I'm thinking not.

You succeeded in showing yourself to be as big of an ass as the freeper lady, just a louder & more persistent one.

[GCP]

74. BRAVO

What an excellent review of the situation. I agree 100% with you and Fountain 79 - the woman was OBVIOUSLY mentally unstable. How the OP would even let himself be drawn into a slagging match with someone like this merely shows up a huge depth of immaturity on his part.

To jogi 969

SHE WAS NUTS, FOR CRIPE'S SAKE - ALL YOU DID WAS SHOW YOURSELF UP AND EMBARRASS THE WHOLE TRAIN CAR ON YOUR BEHALF

[Nicole]

90. Thanks.

I don't understand why more don't see it that way? :shrug:

If this story was posted by a member who had witnessed such a thing, not the person doing it, I'm sure no one would be cheering a verbal attack on a lady that was mentally unstable. At least I would hope not. :(

[GreenPartyVoter]

88. I'm afraid I have to agree on this one

[Midlodemocrat]

100. I agree. The 'faces of meth' comment along with the

poor hygiene speak volumes about her.

I would have simply walked away.

[Maine-ah]

65. in some respects, yes, and in others no...

the reason I say this is that she sounds (from your description of her) like she may be a drug addict, or mentally ill. Or both.

But, nobody should be saying shit like that to you either, and if it were me, I'd be some pissed too.

[CJCRANE]

66. Sounds like

the lady was mentally ill.

In those kind of circumstances I would either ignore and avoid the person or answer their question politely but try not to get drawn in further.

[ima_sinnic]

67. out & out war has been declared on "liberals" as well as "immigrants"

--confrontational responses are imo very appropriate, for the confronter as well as anybody else in the vicinity. What is worse for children, hearing rough language, or growing up in a country where racist a-holes get to dominate and intimidate everybody b/c people are afraid of using a little "bad language" and of being aggressive against them. Passivity, wilting, meekness--these are not good examples for children in what unfortunately has become a polarized and on-the-brink culture. It is simply reality and survival. Since the ignoramuses want us to devolve to caveman days, we can adapt. The situation has gone beyond "passive resistance" doing any good. Think in terms of WAR.

[Buzz Clik]

69. Why get down on her level?

[Darth_Kitten]

70. You handled it the way you wanted to........

in the heat of the moment you were saying what you felt you needed to. She had some nerve, so you gave her some nerve back. And then some.

Thing is with confrontations with morons you always think back on what you could have said as well? But hindsight is always 20/20.

[hyphenate]

71. My first thought is that

the woman is most likely mentally ill. The statement that came from her is obviously a racist one, and obviously the woman can't see (or doesn't want to see) the difference between some of Indian descent and someone with ME descent. (I see a great difference in facial structure, coloring, eyes, etc.) (IIRC, this kind of "blindness" is what led to the deaths of 2 Sikhs right after 9/11, who ran a gas station someplace in the Southwest, though I don't recall the exact location)

I think the DHS comment was funny, and appropriate, but if the woman was mentally ill, that should have been the end of it.

On the train, I think the argument would have been better handled without the swearing. I believe arguing with her would have been fine, but saying it in less crude terms would have raised your believability factor. Think about it: the rest of the passengers would have been impressed with a person who was handling the argument with reasoned tones and words. As it was, you, too, were arguing in the same frame of mind as the woman, and the other passengers only saw the two of you trying to cuss each other out without any kind of modulating factor. So what are they going to think? That you are both crude and rude. And that would certainly not be the image you want to project.

Exchanging barbs is fine, but when such an interaction escalates to mere shouting obscenities and derogatory remarks, the one who refuses to engage in the more volatile tones is the one who wins. If both are equally belligerent, the credibility factor is lost completely.

I would suggest the next time that you find yourself in such a conversation to think for a moment about your choices in handling the person's fears, hatred and belief system. The people who hate on the basis of race or religion always assume the worst of their "enemy" and you really need to counter that perception in order to "win" the meeting. You don't want to completely back off, because the person will think you weak and will attack you for that instead. The more intelligent your response, the more you will catch them off base, and the more you will ultimately win in the end result. More jokes, more acerbic replies, witticism--any of these will help diffuse the situation in the eyes of observers, and these people will find themselves siding with you more easily. If you feel you could not argue without resorting to the same kind of intercourse as your opponent, the best choice is to ignore the person completely--as any mother knows, sometimes ignoring a screaming child is the best choice, because you are not giving them the attention they are craving. And ignoring them will make them look like utter fools in the eyes of observers because they're the ones making asses of themselves in public.

[XanaDUer]

73. "Should I have handled this another way?"

Yes, probably. An unwashed, dirty-looking woman with a "meth" face is probably mentally unstable, with no place to wash or take care of basic personal hygiene.

It also sounds like she is mentally ill. If she had been an African-American woman who said something nutty like that to you, what would you have said to her?

Of course, it was hot, you were probably worried about your mother, and everyone is so tense in this country now, your overreaction is understandable.

But letting loose, in front of some kids, on public transportation, and then letting loose again on some poor woman asking you (the obviously more stable of the two people engaged in a verbal argument) to tone down the obscenities in front of her kids, makes you seem as nutty as the so-called "freeper" woman.

I doubt the woman was a freeper, just another member of America's underclass with no medical help and no medications to help stabilize her.

[Neecy]

76. I'm confused

So, she makes an ignorant and wrong assumption about your ethnicity and in response you continuously call her 'white trash'? Isn't that sort of sinking to a similar level?

That being said, I know that Indian-Americans have taken an incredible amount of crap from these ignorant knuckle-draggers since 9/11, even suffering physical violence. That's why I'd cut you a lot of slack in how you handled this - I would be fed up and angry as well.

[Fountain79]

80. I'm done...

I am not going to comment on this thread anymore because it is pointless. It just amazes me that there are so many people on this thread who are so blinded by their desire to put a freeper in his/her respective place that they can't even recognize that this woman wasn't a freeper at all. This woman was likely mentally unstable, probably homeless, and/or a drug addict. There is no dignity in how jogi1969 handled this. Being the bigger and smarter person he should have a) ignored her b) laughed and joked about it showing how silly she was c) move away from the crazy person. It seems like all you wanted was reaffirmation that you were correct in your actions, you weren't. And that's all I will say about this topic.

[XanaDUer]

85. Well, thank you for your posts.

They have been insightful and empathetic.

[Nicole]

91. You are not alone

I'm amazed too.

[ComerPerro]

82. Seriously, though. are you Bin Laden?

:rofl:

[Nabia2004]

83. Thank you, I needed that

:thumbsup:

:toast:

[seabeyond]

84. should I have handled this another way? YES n/t

[XanaDUer]

86. Your remarks were crude,

classist, sexist, and racist.

You really went over the line when you yelled, "Lady, you should help me smack this bitch down" to the woman who asked you, without using profanity, to please not speak that way in front of her children.

You are lucky no one called the police on you. Even the mentally ill "freeper" did not use profanity with you, while you called her a "piece of shit" and a "bitch".

[guinivere]

87. You were well within your rights to stand up for yourself.

However, if I were to engage the woman at all, I would have left out the cussing. Maybe the insults too. Cussing like a sailor in a loud voice, on a train isn't a great idea. But that's just my opinion. Not being of Indian extraction, I can't imagine the bs you have to put up with.

Judging from the smell, the Osama mumblings and what not she may have been homeless and mentally ill. Personally, I would not have bothered with her.




on edit --
Good, healing and comforting thoughts for you and your mom.

[citizen snips]

92. I believe you did the right thing.

[deadparrot]

93. When she asked if you were bin Laden,

she was probably serious. Like others have said, something doesn't sound right with her. She was probably mentally unstable.

As a white female, I really don't know what it's like to be attacked on the basis of my race, so I'm not going to comdemn you as strongly as some others here have. Who knows what kind of anger that kind of thing can bring up in a person? Still, I don't think yours was the wisest course of action, IMHO.

If you're getting harrassed, you shouldn't have to sit and take it, but there are other ways besides the language and insults, especially when there are children in the vicinity. Maybe you should have reported her to an authority when you'd gotten off the tram.

[SPKrazy]

96. It Sounds Pretty Immature

on both sides

but I can imagine that you might get that kind of shit a lot so I'll cut you some slack

as to whether it could have been handled better?

Surely you can answer that question yourself better than any of us can.

I doubt that getting in a cussing match with a meth monster POS white trash person helped your level of peace of mind.

She sounds like she was strung out and looking for a fight and you got sucked right into it.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

97. You handled it very well.

I would have done the exact same thing -- I'm of Indian descent, too. And if it were a man saying those things to me, I'd add a punch in the throat as well.

[michaelpush]

98. So if the lady pulls knife..

on you? What, you pull a gun? then she pulls a ak47? then you pull a bomb? she pulls a bigger bomb? you pull the biggest bomb of all!!! Sound just like the world we live in! Go for it! Thats the way to solve it....I would have said "No mam, I am not." and went on my way.

[Mr_Spock]

99. Very nice!

I like your style...

[Skittles]

101. honestly

maybe this gal really was a meth addict - something seriously wrong with her, beyond the usual freeper-like stupidity. You handled it better than I would - if someone accused me of being a terrorist I would kick their ass.