Rapture update

[Der Blaue Engel]

A friend's christer mother has informed him that the rapture will actually be next Friday, September 22. Apparently it's Rosh Hashanah that sets it off, not Ramadan. Or maybe it's both. The logic there wasn't clear.

:eyes:

[KyndCulture]

1. AGAIN??

Well I do need a car.

[northernsoul]

8. Hell, I need a big TV and a barcalounger

Seems like I never see a "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned" bumpersticker on a car I'd actually want to take. However, I'd be willing to see what kind of home entertainment systems the soon-to-be-raptured are leaving behind for us.

[proud2BlibKansan]

32. LOL I saw one on Oklahoma

IN CASE OF RAPTURE
CAR'S YOURS

[longship]

20. But there won't be many Prius' available if it's the wingers.

And if it's the people mentioned in the Beatitudes, it'll be the people who don't own cars at all.

So I wouldn't hold my hopes up.

[proud2BlibKansan]

33. It's free car and you want a Prius!

Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. LOL

[longship]

37. It's not that I want a Prius (although I wouldn't mind getting the mpg)

It's that I do *not* want the inevitable SUV that the rapture rightists always drive.

Moot point anyway. I was just trying to inject some satire into the thread.

[proud2BlibKansan]

39. Well if you end up with an SUV

you can probably sell it. :)

[longship]

42. Right!! Do you think I could get a sawbuck for it?

Maybe only 37 cents...

[liberalpress]

44. wAIT A MINUTE...

Let me get this straight. You're trying to inject satire in a thread about the exact arrival date of the rapture.

Oh. Overkill. I get it.

[longship]

56. ROFL...

Thanks, I needed that.
:rofl:

[RebelOne]

2. The wackos at RaptureReady.com are saying that

Jesus is coming soon. They are ready to go home to heaven.

[Demeter]

7. And We Are Ready to Send Them

Too bad this happens every 20 years or so. Very rarely do the believers follow through on their own immortality.

[Der Blaue Engel]

10. I wish they'd go already

:boring:

edited smiley

[proud2BlibKansan]

34. Do they need a map?

:evilgrin:

[tenshi816]

59. Aren't they ever!

Visiting RaptureReady is a guilty indulgence of mine - the mindset of the posters in the RR forum's "End Times Chat" section fascinates me. Many of the fundies in my family back in the States believe in the rapture too, but they don't live their day-to-day lives obsessed with it, watching for signs and praying "Come, Lord Jesus, and take me out of this world".

Actually, it occurs to me that if I were God, I'd be pretty pissed off at the people who hate the world I'd created especially for them so much that they don't want to live in it.

I like it when they start threads about what heaven is going to look like, and how people will look when they get to heaven (one woman said a while back that her pastor told her everybody would look 33 because that's the age Jesus was when he died - which would definitely piss off the people younger than that - and another one said that they would look exactly like they had at the point in life when they had been the most attractive), and how there will be heavenly nurseries looking after aborted fetuses, and how they can't wait to hang out with Jesus (when would he have the time, what with so many of them?).

I find it disturbing when some of the posters, presumably women, go on and on about being in love with their Bridegroom. I'm convinced they believe this literally, that Jesus is going to sweep them away to a celestial marriage bed. That would be the hunky Jesus they're hankering for, the one with long flowing blonde locks, great pecs and a six-pack (I call him "Fabio Jesus"), not the semitic Jesus.

It's a whole 'nother world over there at RR.

[Der Blaue Engel]

65. Age 33

That's what our pastor told us growing up too. It was "the perfect age." Of course, I never actually planned on reaching that age, because I believed the rot they were feeding me about it being the End Times (back in the 70s). Now, at 40, I'd be dancing a jig if I looked 33 again; then again, I'll be "left behind," so it's a moot point. ;)

[RebelOne]

72. Yes, it really cracks me up when they call

Jesus their bridegroom and how they can't wait to hang out with him.

[Coexist]

3. Woot! Great news - I turn (or would have turned) 40 on that day

Ha.

[Skidmore]

4. It's all your fault...

Do you have a 666 tattooed somewhere?

[Coexist]

12. how did you know?

Jeepers, those NSA satellites are GOOD!

[Der Blaue Engel]

6. Lol...I turned 40 on August 22

...the last time the rapture was supposed to happen.

Happy Birthday! (If you have one!) :toast:

[Coexist]

23. we are eternally linked to the end of days

:toast:

[cynatnite]

5. It coincides with this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=2127981&mesg_id=2127981

Hubby will be pissed if he misses his birthday on the 27th.

[proud2BlibKansan]

35. Mine is on the 28th

Looks like I could be spending it with Jesus! Or if I get left behind, I will get a new car for my birthday!!

:woohoo:

[madinmaryland]

9. It coincides with the capture of Al-queda's Number Two Man!!!

:silly:

[AndyA]

17. I thought we already had the number two man.

Or was that number three?

Is there more than one number two?

Do they replace number two with number three after we get number two, which makes number three number two?

I'm confused... :eyes:

[madinmaryland]

19. I've heard that several dozen number two's have been captured!

[obreaslan]

27. The Al-Qaeda Org Chart the C.I.A. uses looks like this....

OSAMA
l
l
#2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2 #2
l
l
#3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3 #3
l
l
Mohamed Al-Something-Or-Other

[madinmaryland]

29. Perfect!!!!!!

[StraightDope]

30. You forgot the inanimate carbon rod.

Goes right below Mohammed Al-Something or other.

[obreaslan]

57. The Inanimate Carbon Rod has been removed from the chart...

Ever since it was awarded the "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence Award" otherwise known as The Presidential Medal of Freedom. :D

[guinivere]

51. Well, that explains it.

The Bush family was left off the chart. I know they should be on there somewhere.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

11. Will the condos in Heaven be ready by then?

I heard that God ran into some financial difficulties when the donations by the believers didn't meet expectations.

[Hamlette]

13. How do we know it hasn't already happened

and Bush and his war in Iraq is the kind of hell we were told to expect?

edited for typo

[Der Blaue Engel]

16. Depends on whether you're a pre-trib, mid-trib, or post-trib rapturist

I won't be surprised if we see rivers of boiling blood soon.

[BuyingThyme]

14. The Rapture has already occurred.

All good Republicans are gone.

[renate]

15. I wonder what happened to the guy who quit his job

I can't remember the name of the DUer who wrote about his coworker (or acquaintance?--I can't remember that either!) who quit his job to get ready for the Rapture (I guess he wouldn't have been taken up to heaven if he'd been at work?), but it'd be interesting to know what happened to him.

[RebelOne]

18. I remember that guy. I'm curious also.

And the DUer was supposed to get his car.

[mcscajun]

38. I checked with that DUer back in August (when one of the former

Rapture dates had passed)

Basically, all the news he had was that it wasn't a co-worker, but was employed at client/vendor company, and nobody over there is answering the question. Although the guy is gone from that firm.

I haven't inquired since. It seems a dead end at this point...much like waiting for the next Rapture date. :o

[treestar]

45. They guy is gone from the firm? Maybe he was raptured?

Maybe he's the only one any DUer knows who has been.

[mcscajun]

55. Nah. He quit his job in advance of a "Rapture date" several weeks ago

and that's all we know.

[treestar]

60. We better find him, or he might be the world's only Rapturee!

[Der Blaue Engel]

66. Maybe he's hanging out with Osama

:evilgrin:

[Nikki Stone 1]

21. Another rapture? Quick, everybody get a pedicure!

:evilgrin:

[treestar]

22. There was Aug. 3, 40 days after Israel attacked Lebanon

and then Aug. 22, when the Iranians were going to give their answer on nuclear weapons. Now Sept. 22, because of Rosh Hashanah? Did they miss Sept. 11? Shouldn't somebody have thought that was the day? How about Oct. 21? (40 days after Sept. 11?)

[Mabus]

26. Why isn't it a date sacred to Christians?

Why are they looking at dates and/or events associated with other religions/countries if theirs is "the" one true religion and the USA is a Christian nation?

[treestar]

61. Yeah, one wonders why it nevers occurs to them that they are

letting the infidels set the date!

What would Jesus do? Come on Easter, I would think!

[Warpy]

24. What is it about the 22nd of the month with these people?

The rapture addled promised it was August 22, which came and went without our pious neighbors stripped naked and sucked up into the sky in front of our amused eyes.

BTW, don't look for logic in belief. There is none. That's the main reason we call it belief.

[mcscajun]

40. For those who are into Numbers and whatever "mystical properties"

they possess, 11 and 22 are supposed to have "special significance".

And I cannot help but think of a scene from "Six Feet Under" whenever someone mentions naked "Rapturees". http://www.elroysemporium.com/news/sixfeetunder.html

[catmandu57]

25. That's three

Three strikes and you're out.

[TygrBright]

28. No, no... this time the Great Sky Taxi is REALLY coming... Promise!!! n/t

[havocmom]

31. Tellin ya, we need a Rapture Calendar

I just can't keep track of them all.

[Nikki Stone 1]

47. Maybe they should just have a regular day each month

That way, we'd all know when make fun of them.

:)

[havocmom]

48. I like to tell 'em it already happened. They didn't make the cut

SOOOOO much fun

[Nikki Stone 1]

49. That would show discernment on Jesus' part

Which would make me have a whole lot more respect, let me tell ya

:)

[tenshi816]

71. I know that if I were God,

certainly wouldn't wish to spend eternity with a bunch of humorless, mean-spirited, self-righteous hypocrites.

[guinivere]

52. Someone up thread a little said that

the numbers 11 and 22 have special significance.

So we could have some fun on the 22nd of every month.



:D

[mcscajun]

36. Well I hope they're Right this time...

I have a lot of doctor's appointments scheduled for 9/25 and days following. I'd just as soon not have to go. :)

[RebelOne]

53. Yes, so do I. I would like to find a nice abandoned

Mercedes or Cadillac and maybe a mansion. I could sure use a bigger house.

[mentalsolstice]

41. I'll Be Raptured the Night Before

Sept. 21 is our 10th wedding anniversary...hope we have some rapture-ready sex that night!

[lovuian]

70. My friend says when Pigs fly she will

consider it

Look in the Rapture book for me and see if Pigs flying is in the Revelation Part!!!

I'm TERRIFIED!!!

[RPM]

43. good riddance to bad x-tians

i look forward to their disappearance.

[EstimatedProphet]

46. Oh good. I have job interviews early next week

I don't want to miss them.

[Seabiscuit]

50. No way they're rapturing ME on the eve of my son's 2nd birthday!!!

:mad:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

54. OK

That's after my birthday on the 20th. We are going out to dinner on Friday the 22nd anyway, rather than Wednesday. I'm sure we won't be going anywhere else.:evilgrin:

[Mendocino]

58. Will the rapture be like "Night of the Living Dead"?

With freshly risen half-rotted christian corpses stumbling about?

I think Al Franken said this, but I can't remember for sure.

[Der Blaue Engel]

67. Ooooh, I hope so!

Zombies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MoonRiver]

62. Does anybody know what proper Rapture attire is?

I want to make sure I'm dressed appropriately. :shrug:

[RebelOne]

63. I don't think it matters. You are zapped out of your clothes.

[MoonRiver]

64. Now THAT'S a Rapture!

:P

[lovuian]

68. Marked it on my calendar

Sept 22nd

Sept 11
+--------------
3X3 33 2003+3

Triple Awakening or Third Awakening

[Swamp Rat]

69. Send her this:

[RebelOne]

73. LOL!! Good one! n/t

[Lucy - Claire]

74. The really good news about the rapture...

That will mean a world without Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James Robinson, Ann Coulter, The Bush family, Karl Rove etc.

Plus great cars, hope they leave their pocket books, in the glove compartment. Enough spare clothes to give to the poor, less polution and more space, so the environment will improve, lots of job vacancies and gay marriage can become law. Now which part of this deal is heaven?