New Borowitz Report - this guy is a genius! LOL

[proud2BlibKansan]

BUSH VOWS TO ALIENATE REMAINING POCKETS OF SUPPORT

President Determined to Drive Approval Rating Down to ZeroIn a nationally televised address from the White House last night, President George W. Bush announced several bold new initiatives designed specifically to alienate his remaining pockets of support.

Acknowledging that his approval rating currently hovers around forty percent, the president told his national television audience, “I will not rest until I have driven that number down to zero.”

Mr. Bush said that his recent decision to let a company based in the United Arab Emirates take control of key American ports was “an important step” in alienating the few Americans who still support him.

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Elsewhere, donning a helmet while skiing or snowboarding down the slopes can reduce your risk of head injury by 60 percent, according to a new study published today in “Duh” magazine.


http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=1328&srch=