Not all women lie or ask to get raped

[cynatnite]

I had a good friend who was raped. It wasn't her crying 'rape' without any evidence. She had bruising around her vagina and the doctors found other evidence. I was with her during the exam and watching her undergo that was as hard as anything I had ever seen. I cried with her afterwards. She was contacted by a detective and told to come down to be interviewed. I took her and waited in the hallway. Half an hour later she came out upset and practically ran out of the building. Come to find out the guy who had raped her told the officers she wanted it and teased him. The detective treated her so badly and accused her of making it all up. She kept saying to me 'why would I make it up?'

She dropped the charges. The detective had the doctor's report corroborating everything she was saying. The animal who raped my friend was someone we thought was a nice guy. He was her neighbor. Three years later he was arrested for attempting to rape a teenage girl.

My friend says if something like that ever happened to her again she wouldn't report it. After reading some of the comments in regards to the Duke case and those over the baseball players...I honestly don't think I would report it either if it happened to me.

[shance]

1. NO WOMEN ASKS TO BE RAPED AND OR BRUTALZED.

No one asked to be assaulted against their consent!!

[Solly Mack]

5. what you said

[ProgressiveAmPatriot]

19. you beat me to it: NO WOMAN ASKS TO BE RAPED AND OR BRUTALZED

[knitter4democracy]

2. My SIL didn't press charges, either.

They had all sorts of evidence and witnesses that he'd kidnapped her, too. She just couldn't face all of it again, go back there and see him in the court room, or have anyone question her virginity.

Rape is a horrible, horrible crime. It is one of the worst ways to violate a person. Our justice system needs to do a better, more fair job of it.

[David Zephyr]

3. "Not all women"? No woman ever wants rape. Period.

.

[MNDemNY]

6. By definition.

[Rosemary2205]

10. See I read that totally different.

There's a disgusting undercurrent many times of people saying "she asked for it" "all rape victims asked for it". I think that was the OP's way of saying "all rape victims ask for it" is just a damn lie - that none of them do -- not that some actually do.

Does that make any sense?

[Matsubara]

4. The vast majority of women don't lie or ask to be raped.

(and David Zephyr makes a great point that NONE of them ask to be raped, which is of course true. If they had asked for it, it would not be rape.)

By the same token, the vast majority of men are not rapists.


Any man accused of rape deserves the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty.

Wearing a sexy getup or going into a man's apartment does not automatically make sex consensual.

These are all things that ought to be commen sense, but for some reason, some people still fail to grasp them.

[cynatnite]

7. I never even hinted that all men are rapists...

I don't understand why you feel the need to add that comment.

Women shouldn't be treated as liars when they say they are raped. Too often, women are the ones who get treated like dirt for it.

[Matsubara]

12. I didn't say you said that.

I included that in a list of items that should be common sense about rape.

Just as there are people who will say that a woman "asked for it" for whatever nonsensical reason, there are people who automatically think that the man is guilty.

Rape is a very serious accusation. The mere accusation itself should not be enough to destroy a man's life, but sometimes it is.

Just as women shouldn't be treated as liars (or sluts), men should not be presumed guilty and hanged by the media before even being tried.


You alluded to the Duke case. The victims in that case were the men. I don't know what that woman's damage was, but she did was treally wrong.


Clearly, women are not all saints and men are not all misogynist thugs.

[BlackHawk706867]

13. "Rape is a very serious accusation. The mere accusation itself should not be enough to destroy a man

I agree totally with this, however it's our cops and interviewers of these victims that need to get their shit together here... They need to have women officers in all cases doing the interviews (In my opinion) and also women doctors doing the testing and treatment of these victims.

ww

[cynatnite]

15. Her lying did damage other women...

who consider reporting a rape. While I agree she also damaged those young men with what she did, they have since been redeemed. Women's lives have been ruined because of their bad treatment and even though it's relatively rare for a woman to lie about rape, the accusation can ruin the life of an innocent man.

I guess it's easier for society to pass judgment rather than wait for the facts to come to light. People involved can be savaged in the press and society follows along.

[OzarkDem]

21. Not so

Police and prosecutors deal with false accusations all the time with other crimes, it doesn't stop people from reporting crime or investigations and prosecutions. The same should apply for rape.

It would be wrong to assume or suggest that law enforcement shouldn't pursue rape charges when the accusers don't meet some people's social standards or when the accused come from families of wealth and influence.

[cynatnite]

23. I'm not saying law enforcement shouldn't pursue...

but the problems begin when women are treated so badly after suffering a trauma such as rape. The emotional toll it takes on a victim is tremendous and when you pile onto that a society where a women is considered a liar first rather than a victim it plays a huge role in if a rape case is prosecuted at all.

Rape cases rely on the cooperation of the victim and if you don't have that, you don't have a case.

[BlackHawk706867]

24. I so totally agree with you.... Another thing comes to mind...

"Know mater what a women does for a living, she still has the right to say no" period.... And no one has the right to go further if she does say no... period..

ww

[tammywammy]

14. Agreed

[Rosemary2205]

8. Which is why the liars cause so much damage.

The deck is already stacked against rape victims. Everytime someone screams rape and it turns out to be a lie most everyone sticks that in the back of their head and then is skeptical then next time a woman says she was raped.


When the Duke case started, I didn't say much except to let the facts play themselves out - I took an awful lot of heat from DU for "defending the criminals" when in fact I was simply saying let the case play itself out before rendering judgement. But in the back of my mind I believed she was raped. I had an instant bias that a bunch of rich white boys drunk at a party would treat a black stipper like their sex slave and refuse to take no for an answer.

The next woman that gets raped by a rich kid will think twice about even reporting it. She can expect to get raped again in the ER, raped again by the police, raped again by the community who won't believe such "nice boys" would do such a thing, raped again by the media that will paint her as a slut and a golddigger and camp out in her front yard for months, maybe years.

NiFong did A LOT of damage to future rape victims.

[cynatnite]

11. Women have always been treated like shit when they're raped...

They're called names, accused of asking for it, accused of lying, and more. It goes back thousands of years that women are the ones who do the tempting and all that.

[BlackHawk706867]

16. What your saying is probably true, and that in my opinion is why it is

important to have female investigators and doctors for these victims...

ww

[cynatnite]

18. Completely agree n/t

[OzarkDem]

17. and those cases are very, very, rare

Its sad they would provide a convenient excuse for some to ignore such terrible crimes.

Its also no excuse to write off a case.

[BushOut06]

20. We still don't know all the details in the Duke case

We'll never know exactly what happened there. But I do find it telling that many people who are convinced that OJ is guilty are so willing to believe the Duke lacrosse players. I wonder what public perception would be if it had been a couple of African-American guys from the Duke football team, and the victim was a white woman?

[BlackHawk706867]

22. I don't know, the prosecutor in the case has been dealt with... So

I think that pretty much tells it all. This is/was one piss poor case from the get-go and you are correct, we will probably never know what the real truth is, mostly because of the prosecutor.

ww

[BushOut06]

25. Both cases involved prosecutors mangling the case

Whether OJ was guilty or not, I don't think anyone can deny that the prosecutors did an absolutely shitty job of presenting their case. In both instances, there was plenty of circumstantial evidence for guilt, but neither prosecutor had a chance in hell of proving anything. Yet many in this country remain convinced that OJ got away with murder, but feel sympathy for the rich white kids who were victimized by some lying black stripper and an overzealous prosecutor.

[Solo_in_MD]

26. We have more than enough to know they did not do it

I can not recall the last time I heard a prosecutor openly declare former suspects exonerated and innocent as happened in the Duke case.

In terms of OJ there is the civil verdict to give credence to those who believe that a guilty man got off.

[pnwmom]

29. We know more than enough details in the Duke case.

There was DNA evidence connecting OJ with the murders, along with a lot of other evidence.

There was NO evidence -- no medical testimony, no DNA evidence, no condom residue -- linking any of the students to the accuser. There was NO evidence that the accuser had even been attacked. She wasn't able to pick anyone out of two lineups. It was only when the police showed her a lineup with no "filler" pictures -- and told her that it included only men who had been to the party -- that she finally picked three photos.

So the whole case rested on her testimony -- and she gave several different versions of what happened to her. None of her versions fit with the videotape evidence or the cell phone records. Her testimony was also contradicted by her own driver and the other dancer (who said the charges were "a crock."

And two of the accused students had strong alibis that put them away from the house at the only times an attack could have occurred.

It isn't necessary to know every detail of that night to know there was no case. But some people will continue to believe that "something" happened. Just like some people belong to the Flat Earth Society, or believe in creationism, against all the evidence.

[Solo_in_MD]

27. The damage false accusations does in rape cases is incalcuable

Tawana Brawley and other frauds come to mind in addition to Duke. Every legitimate case suffers from those where patently false accusations are made.

[BlackHawk706867]

9. "My friend says if something like that ever happened to her again she wouldn't report it."

This line was the jist of one of my most recent post's.... I believe that very few women that are being raped actually report this due to the above circumstances... Just makes one scratch there head as to how our system treats these women. I guess the only real answer is serious martial arts for all women so that they might be able to protect themselves from these animals... "Disgusted, is an understatement."

ww

[pnwmom]

30. What are you talking about? The prosecutor championed this woman.

For nine months, he made her his cause!

No one can say the accuser here was not well treated by the justice system.

[Bluerthanblue]

28. ..

thank you for this post-

[ourbluenation]

31. I didn't press charges n/t