A Girl Like Me - and Why Words Matter

[Solly Mack]

A Girl Like Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17fEy0q6yqc


The Ruby Bridges Foundation



Norman Rockwell's "The Problem We all Live With." (the little girl is Ruby Bridges)


"Ruby crossed the threshold of this school, flanked by U.S. Marshals through a crowd of angry parents who had pulled their children from the school rather than have them share a classroom with a black child, to single-handedly initiate the desegregation of one of New Orleans's public schools. Due to the boycott, for one full year Ruby was the only student in her first grade class where a white teacher faithfully instructed her daily"

Read her incredible story of strength and love at the link above.



During Ruby's year of being ostracized, imposed by the ignorance and hate of the white community around her, a psychologist began working with Ruby.

Surrounded by the language of hate, Ruby started calling her siblings the same ugly names she heard herself called by the hate-filled crowd.

Ruby even lynched her doll and stopped eating anything but food that came clearly sealed so she couldn't be poisoned. A threat often hurled at her while entering school.

When Ruby would draw pictures of her family and friends, she drew the white ones in detail - complete and whole , while leaving off parts of her family and black friends - as if they were incomplete in some way.

White became more desirable - better.

See, Ruby began to identify black as somehow bad - it had to be, right? Why else would people that she had never harmed treat her so badly? The dominant society around Ruby was infecting her self-esteem with their language of hate.


Never underestimate the power of society to infect you with hate that you impose on others - or to be able to tear you down to nothing.

Never underestimate the power of society to shape your perceptions of yourself and those around you, based on the most superficial of reasons. Reasons more often than not rooted in some form of bigotry.

Never - ever - underestimate the power of language to shape an entire society.

Never doubt the power of language to cause you to see yourself as somehow less - or for others to see you as somehow less.

Words express thought. Words can enslave - and have.

Thoughts, shaped by words, can create entire systems of oppression.

Words matter.

[LaurenG]

1. Words are powerful as are the thoughts behind them.

They become tangible, they take on a life of their own. We can either harm or heal with our thoughts and words because eventually they become deeds or more. May all of our thoughts and words be empowering and healing.

K & R

[Solly Mack]

3. Nicely stated!

[EFerrari]

38. Words are how we touch each other without using our hands.

They matter.

K&R

[bobbolink]

39. That's such a beautiful thought!

Except, of course, that it goes both ways.

You're such a poet... :loveya:

[EFerrari]

40. Thank you so much for the head's up on this amazing OP.

:loveya:

[bobbolink]

41. Anything for you and the kangaroo!

:) :hug:

[calimary]

42. THAT is one sweet quote!

Goes straight into my quotes file!

:thumbsup:

[EFerrari]

43. RetroLounge got me going all metaphorical today. Blame him.

:hug:

[loudsue]

44. That was beautiful!

And so true! :hug:

:kick::kick::kick:

[Solly Mack]

52. Beautifully stated!!!!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Words do hurt

This is why it is vitally important that we nurture the self-esteem of children, so that they are secure within their own beings and know that words are merely words, and we can choose to accept or reject the intent behind them.

[Solly Mack]

5. and teach them to fight against the attitudes that express themselves

through language (and actions) for the sole intent of oppressing others that are deemed different or bad

[Lasher]

4. Words are powerful but so is that Norman Rockwell painting.

How could anybody hate the sweet little girl in that picture?

[Solly Mack]

6. Art is a language... at least I think so

Indeed - how? But they did...and some still do..at least what she represents.

[Joe Chi Minh]

55. Innocence and dignity made flesh, walking down the street.. No wonder

their angels look on the face of God at all times.

My first reaction was to rage and curse at the assailants of this little girl in her beautiful dignity and innocence; but then, strange for me - I felt sorry for the ones who, in their pitiful weakness, would have enabled the human devils who led them to corral and mire them in such shame, like wasps caught in jam; human beings created to be gods, rendered lower than the dumb beasts, in their fear of crossing the herd and its demonic drovers.

[H2O Man]

7. Long ago,

Confucius was asked what he would do, were he to obtain political power? He is said to have answered, "Insist that words be used properly."

[Solly Mack]

9. It would help :)

Hi, Waterman!

[G_j]

8. words are powerful

they reflect our awareness and our ignorance, love.... hate.
it helps to pay attention

[Solly Mack]

10. Yes - the words we use give us away

as my Mom used to say (whenever we kids were "up" to something)

[G_j]

12. my Mom also liked to point out

the importance of our words

thanks Mom!

:-)

[Solly Mack]

15. Sounds like you didn't get away with much either :)

My mom would patiently listen - shit-eating grin intact - and then point out in minute detail "why" and "how" we were lying.

[bobbolink]

36. Yes, indeedy--sometimes we moms earn our keep with our wisdom.

:hi:

[mmonk]

11. K&R

:kick:

[ThomCat]

13. Well said. Those who say "lighten up"

or "this isn't important enough to fight" really don't understand what they're supporting.

[Solly Mack]

14. I can accept being uniformed or not aware

until someone tries to explain and points people to more information for a better understanding...but after that, it's just willful ignorance.

You're a lot nicer than I am. :)

[Zuiderelle]

16. Right on!

Recommended. :thumbsup:

[Solly Mack]

18. Thanks, PelosiFan!

[TahitiNut]

17. The Dharma Wheel

The Noble Eightfold Path
* Wisdom
1. Right view
2. Right intention
* Ethical conduct
3. Right speech
4. Right action
5. Right livelihood
* Mental discipline
6. Right effort
7. Right mindfulness
8. Right concentration

[Solly Mack]

19. Hi, TN!

I aspire but never will reach

I defeat myself with my own stubbornness - a condition that's not likely to change.

[MedleyMisty]

20. Buddhism

I'm not much a fan of the religious trappings that have been added on, but the original philosophy is so true. And much of what I read about new theories in neuroscience and physics seems to confirm it.

[TahitiNut]

21. The advances in cognitive psychology repeatedly confirm the Eightfold Path

Indeed, it's a virtual (meta-)roadmap to cognitive therapy.

Its real-world validity and usefulness is constantly affirmed. Some abbreviate this and say "right thought, right speech, right behavior." Paul Wellstone said "Never separate the words you speak from the lives you live."

In the 60s, we coined the phrase "where you're coming from" which was clearly understood to relate to the linkages between worldview (thought), intention, words, and actions. The most successful parents ask their children "what did you want to accomplish?" when discussing their behavior. Alignment of our personal worldview, assumptions, thoughts, intentions, choices, words, actions, and vocations is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves, imho. Not only emotiaonlly/mentally, but physically as well.

[Blue_Tires]

47. thanks for posting that

i'm on the path myself (moving at a snail's pace, but moving)

[myrna minx]

22. Thank you so much for this post.

K&R. :hug:

[Solly Mack]

23. Hi, myrna minx!

:hug:

[Joe Chi Minh]

24. A very profound and powerful post.

My estimation of Norman Rockwell has significantly changed, as well.

[Solly Mack]

26. Thank you, KCabotDullesMarxIII

:hi:

[patrice]

25. Can we do something about Racism?

Gary Tyler was a Black teenager in Louisiana 30 years ago . . .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x192241

[Solly Mack]

27. Thanks for adding the link, patrice!

I have been to the site and have signed. Thanks, again!!!

[patrice]

28. Thank you Solly!

Had to go back and fix that post . . . getting tired. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

See you around. :hi:

[Uncle Joe]

29. Thanks for the thread Solly Mack

Kicked and recommended

[Solly Mack]

32. You're welcome, Uncle Joe!!

:hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

30. I read that book to my kids.

It still makes me cry thinking about what that precious little girl went through. I don't know if I would have had the strength her mom did to allow my child to go through that. I'd like to think I'm strong enough, but God. So heartbreaking. So incredibly heartbreaking.

My 10yo told me the other day that someone in her class had said 'the worst word ever'. I thought. 'Oh, jeez, the f-word rears its ugly head' and asked her which word.

She replied. 'You know, mom, the one you said was the worst, the 'n' word'.

Words do matter. Sometimes the little ones actually listen.

Thank you, Solly Mack for posting this.

[Solly Mack]

33. Hiya, Midlodemocrat

You're welcome!

:hug:

[me b zola]

31. k&r

:applause:

[Solly Mack]

34. Thanks, me b zola

:hi:

[bobbolink]

35. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart"

And, yet, we're told to "grow a skin", rather than to expect to be treated with courtesy.

Thank you so much, Solly Mack, for such a beautiful and thoughtful post!

I've printed this out, and will be sharing it with many others in the days to come. I also may try to print up something that I can hang on the wall, because this is just sooooo poignant!

This is truly one of the best every DU posts!

Would that all DUers would take this to heart, and not break our hearts with words that wound.

:pals: :hug: :pals:

[Solly Mack]

45. Hey bobbolink!

:hug:

[Marie26]

37. K&R

Great post.

[Solly Mack]

46. Hiya Marie!

Thanks!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

48. Yep, and it comes in many forms.

During my seven years of hell in junior high and high school (now they call junior high, middle school), 6th thru 12th grade, I constantly was called "queer". That was the worst insult they had and that was before the word "gay" was used. I told them to "go to hell" when they said that, which is what my mom told me to do. Then they would threaten to tattle on me for saying a bad word -- and I told them my mom would back me up if they did that.

I lived in an all white school district and all white town, that basically kept blacks out by tripling the price of real estate -- reverse redlining.

I also got called a "nigger lover". I had just done a book report on "My Life with Martin Luther King Jr." by Coretta Scott King. This was in 1969, the year after he was assassinated.

I called the little rectum that said this to me "white trash".
She in turn called me "nigger trash".

I happen to be white. Extremely pale. As in "can't get a tan". Also, I am a heterosexual. But I got called names too.
I was picked on for several reasons. There are so many forms of name calling it's sickening.

[Solly Mack]

49. Thank you for sharing that, Perragrande

:hug:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

53. Thank you for noticing, Solly Mack.

This was Stinkadena, Texas. Refinery trash. Except my dad was upwardly mobile refinery trash thanks to the GI Bill.

Started out at 64 cents an hour in 1936 at a stinkin' refinery, which was good money then.
Went to law school at night while doing rotating shift work after the war on the GI Bill.

The GI Bill created the middle class.

Oh, and I'm short, rather bright, wear glasses, and am female. I went to law school too. It's amazing what people can resent you for.

I had a girlfriend that hated me for my good hair (thick and wavy). Then I got a nice boyfriend and she quit returning my phone calls. Guess that was too much for her!!! Sad girl. Really sad.

:hugs:

[Cleita]

50. Words do matter.

Thanks for this lovely post.

[Solly Mack]

51. Hi, Cleita. You're welcome

:hi:

[Octafish]

54. Thurgood Marshall understood the power of dolls...and words.

Thurgood Marshall brought up the study when arguing "Brown v Board of Education" before the Supreme Court.

It breaks my heart to write that it seems, for too many in our nation, not much has changed since 1939.

Thanks to you and all people who understand, Solly Mack, we still work to change things for the better -- for all boys and all girls.

For those of good character: It all starts with an idea. And then our words bring them to another's attention. And, from there, to action.

[Solly Mack]

56. He sure did!

:hug: