By request from the Humor Mill: The Republican Oath

[Froward69]

I am a Repube, I use the platform of fiscal spending, but love to spend, spend, spend, and I don't care one bit because my grandkids will pay for it, not I.

I am a Repube, my best friends are the fanatical Christians, Gun Nuts, and Corporations

I am a Repube, I can care less about the enviroment and will let corporations pollute mother earth by lowering pollution standards.

I am a Repube, I believe everything Bush says and be very scared because mushroom clouds are coming.

I am a Repube, I will bash, attack the family of, demoralize any one who disagree with our policy, even if the person lost three limbs defending our country ( Max Cleland) and call him Un-Patriotic, even if you served as our Treasury Secretary ( Paul O'neil), or call you fat rather than address the issues you are bringing up ( Michael Moore).

I am a Repube, I will ignore the recommendations of the bi-partisan Iraq Study Group, and go with Bush stragergy… no matter what it is, if it is stay the course or a Surge.

I am a Repube, I will be behind bush even if 72% of Americans do not, because I am right and I don't care how many times Bush is wrong, "Mission Accomplished", "The Terrorists are on their Last Throes", "Bring em on", "Stay the Course", "Hell of a job Brownie", "It is not a civil war", "If someone in my administration outed a CIA operative, I want to know about it, and he will be dealt with".

I am a Repube, I will have a strong belief in Pro-Life, yet I will send other people's kids to kill and die in a war, believe in capital punishment even if the person was retarded or a child

I am a Rebube, I will talk about less government, but then I will tap your phones if you call someone overseas.

I am a Repube, I will break up/search/Impound medical marijuana stores who are supplying sick people medicine, and I don't care if your state approved it.

I am a Repube, I will do everything in my power to keep us in the Middle East by giving tax breaks to oil companies, shoot down any law to increase the mpg of cars, and watch oil profits soar, and keep us dependent on oil forever.

I am Repube, I will pledge to have more scandals like the ones that made America vote in Democrats, like being bribed by Jack Abramoff, molesting kids, suppressing votes, etc. and then mention the only one democrat, the looser from LA.

I am a Repube, I pledge to blame everything on Bill Clinton for many years to come, even though it has been SEVEN years, hell he got a blow job didn't he? ( A blow job? come on people are dying and you say blow job?)

I am a Repube, I am pro-life, yet I don't care that thousands of people die from our flawed healthcare system.

I am Repube, I will continue to support a for profit healthcare system when every other industrialized country has socialized healthcare, yet, I am right, and they are all wrong.

I am a Repube, I will continue to warm the planet even if every scientist and every country recognizes the planet is warming, and quote the one scientist who says otherwise, even if he is on the payroll of the oil industry.

I am a Repube, when I make an environmental policy, I will only invite the polluters to come give me advice and do it behind closed doors, and then call executive privilege

I am a Repube, I will put my friend in charge of a very important position, head of FEMA, who has no experience, even if his only experience was in charge of horse shows, and still won't care if he causes the deaths in N.O.

I am a Repube, I will constantly bring up Bill Clinton's blow job and blame everything on that, wait I said that, but I will continue to say it, so I am glad I listed it again.

I am a Repube, I will call Michael Moore fat, but yet support Rush Limbaugh, who constantly talks about jailing drug addicts, yet he will get caught buying opiates.

I am a Repube, I will still back Bush as our commander in Chief, even though he fired the general wh was in charge, who said we needed more troops for the invasion, even if alot of repubes now say it was a big mistake ( like McCain) and Blair said so too, and even if we have troops dying because of it now.

I am a Repube, I will scare the country and tell everyone in the State of the Union, that Iraq is getting uranium tubes from Niger, even if the CIA tells us it is not true before the speech, and then after the speech just say it was a mistake to put that in there, but now everyone is scared, so we did our job.

I am a Repube, I will scare people in elections and raise the terror alert only after Kerry's speeches ( funny it hasn't been raised since)

I am a Repube, I will try to suppress votes of Blacks

I am a Repube, I will support this president even if he wants to give amnesty to illegal aliens.

I am a Repube, I will have a tax payor event where the president gives a speech and throw out people who have a anti-war bumper sticker on their car ( in America we do this, I don't care)

I am a Repube, I will let all the radio stations be consolidated to just a few owners, even though the radio waves are owned by the American people.

I am a Repube, I will try hard to do what the pharmaceutical companies who give us hundreds of thousand of dollars in donations, and take supplements off our shelves.

I am a Repube, I will blame bill Clinton even if he has been out of office for SEVEN years.

I am a Repube I will campaign for Hillary Clinton till she gets the nomination, then shift all the blame from Bill to her.

I believe the constitution is old fashioned and worthless

Rights are only for people with money

Speaking of money I as a republican I will actively devalue the dollar. I bought euros!

[Swamp Rat]

1. Thou shalt piss on the flag while in a very wide stance.

[Froward69]

2. keep adding, good one

this is a year old, but still funny.

[Swamp Rat]

3. A year old? Actually, I just made it just yesterday, based on a logo the GOP recently made.

:shrug:

[Froward69]

4. no , the oath was made a year ago...

your gop logo is great too. I meant to say keep repube oath-statements comeing...I am tired need sleep.:blush:

[Swamp Rat]

5. LOL!

Nite nite! :boring: