ARGH!

[orleans]

cleaning out unchecked mail can lead to finding crap such as this from ex friends who won't get you off their freep spamming list!

If President Bush resigned today, this is probably what his speech
would be.....


Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans."
Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible
has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all
in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid
prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking
of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.


The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed
up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the
world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And
the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure
it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and
the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy
is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners,
including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're
mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership
is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was
during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.


Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has
rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are
participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine
about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that
gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of
the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried
about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil"
thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq
's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't
give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar
you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted
in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact
that the intelligence was faulty.


Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the
goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq
was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named
'Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during
the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic
models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because
fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We
were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.


That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't
care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as
long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them
as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards
are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in
the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because
you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military,
law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure
of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be
a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people
think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of
'Survivor.'


Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things
through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.
Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation
to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you
might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts
to the same thing.


In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over
the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on
NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of
you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will
always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a
city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.


I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own
wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion
that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient
house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got
elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear
of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the
last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your
new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully,
because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of
you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America. Some of you know what
I mean. The rest of you, "kiss off".


Jim Hauser
Willet Hauser Architectural Glass, Inc.
[e-mail]\
[phone]

yeah, sure he'd say all of that. that motherfucker can't construct a coherent sentence, let alone have a coherent thought

kiss off? kiss this!

[Skittles]

1. I love the way they can simply dismiss 9/11 under their watch

f***ing HILARIOUS

[orleans]

4. i have to tell you--the person who sent this to me

single parent, needed and received public aid/assistance for years, couldn't find a job for years, couldn't keep a job (bad performance reports or whatever), had to file bankruptcy before that lovely bill kicked in

it's amazing to me not only how truly blind people are, but how truly stupid they are. oh, and she has a teaching certificate! great...infecting young minds everywhere.

[lonestarnot]

6. Even when the stupid motherfuckers had been forwarned! MIHOP

[lligrd]

2. "yeah, sure he'd say all of that" - Exactly

I couldn't even get through the first sentence before I thought the same thing.

[orleans]

5. amazing, isn't it? what planet do these people come from? n/t

[orleans]

3. oh, there is more

i got the obama is a muslim email (2X so far by the same screw) that ends:
"The Muslims have
said they plan on
destroying the US from the inside out, what
better way to start than at the
highest level.

"GOD BLESS AMERICA

-------------------

and i got the one about the liberal daughter in college who didn't like her republican father's politics, which ends with:

"Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go
to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off
your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a
2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and
certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution
of GPA."

"The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's
suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be
fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've
invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!
Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree.
She played while I worked my tail off!"

"The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently,
"Welcome to the Republican Party."

------------------

KILL ME NOW!

[uppityperson]

7. You forgot the ending to college story...

"and then he ripped her throat out" or some such. barf.

[orleans]

8. well, maybe he didn't rip out her throat. he WINKED at her

(according to the story)
so i would say he proceeded to have sex with her and all her under-age friends

[uppityperson]

13. True. My apologiees for jumping to the wrong conclusions.

:rofl:

[Maraya1969]

9. Don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.

On second thought I'll hold it open for ya.

[Kitty Herder]

10. I find this funny. It's just so pathetic. And delusional. nt

[orleans]

11. it is pathetic and delusional. but i don't find it that funny

this woman sent me so much garbage across the election span of 2004, and so much of it was absolutely low-down and disgusting.

i've lost my sense of humor with these right wing assholes, and my tolerance.

[EOTE]

12. What?!?! He's forgetting the ending!

"And then President Bush sprouted angel wings and began his ascension up to heaven. Leaving the demonic liberals to wallow in their own filth in the hell they created on earth.




AAAAAAAAA Men!"