Care for aging family member

[ls317]

Today in American there is a story that is all too often heard about within your family or at least someone that you know.The story is about taking care of a family member or a loved that is dealing with Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.These disease can quickly destroy the quality of life for anyone that is ill with it and the family members that attempt that care for them.
Because of them they create problems within the family,some may have views and ideas that no way in hell I am going to place my mother,father or grandparent in a home,for any number of reasons personal beliefs or lack of funds to receive quality care for there loved one.
So that the loved one can attempt to enjoy some quality of life for the rest of the time that they have left.
This also opens the can of worms that depending on what state you live in and you have the proper documents for them,Power of attorney etc, and there is the group that the family member is normally a lower to mid class income where they may not have the resources for them and you have to battle with one of the most horrific systems ever known to man Medicare/medicade.
Where you basically leave the loved one to the whim of the state,and if they have a moderate to fair amount of cash,guess what that normally goes to the state.
As we all know no family will see eye to eye on any subject during normal times and even more so when it comes to the care of an aging family member.Depending on your view point on the matter,you might end up being a shit stirrer based on your point of view on the issue.
And there is one of the biggest fucking scams on the planet,its a medicine called aircept and yes its giving as a drug to attempt to slow the destruction caused by Alzheimer's and you wanna know something guess what ( ready here it comes) Its cost anywhere from 165-430 dollars for a 30 day supply that from a script service north of the border.
This has caused many disagreements and fights within families on this very issue and it will go on for quite a while.Most med insurance companies don't pick up the cost for care and treatment and most of the cost comes out of pocket.Ask yourself why is that ,will there be a cure for this in current life time.
If you have parents or family members that are aging or showing signs or concerns connected to this,sit down and talk about this matter but you need to have a plan in place just in case.
So if you have an elderly family member(Parents,Grandparents,Aunt,Uncle) go enjoy time with them regardless of how you feel about them.And ask yourself this who is going to care for me once I become old and whats going to happen to me if I am strickened with this illness.

[Mojorabbit]

1. It is a very difficult

thing. My FIL was on aricept before he passed. It did not help him a bit. My sis has her MIL living with her and she has congestive heart failure. My hubby's mom is 81 and is coming to visit this month. She wants us to build a guest cottage for her and I am thinking she will be moving here in the near future.

[libodem]

2. Baby Boomer's

are taking care of the WWll generation in droves these days. My poor mother is tying to drive me crazy and I'm a trained professional. It's an awful plight. I'm from the me generation. And I'm pissed! :)

[Hekate]

3. Just about the time we start thinking of retirement ourselves (meaning we are no longer young)...

...our now-extremely old and frail parents really need help from us. So much for the alleged selfishness of the Boomers. We actually do try to take care of our moms and dads, and sometimes aunts and uncles.

Advances in medical science are a wonderful thing, but the flip side is that more people than ever live to extreme mental and physical frailty. My almost-95 y.o. MIL is recovering from a busted hip. Family dynamics ... are ... maddening... But we do the best we can given the cast of characters.

Hekate

[unsavedtrash]

4. My mom has a lot of medical problems and is developing signs of Alzheimer's.

She tried to talk to me and my other sisters about what she wants.
One sister also has medical issues and can't care for her, and the other just cried and said she didn't want to hear anything about mom's illness (she likes to pretend everything is fine).
So mom gave me financial and medical power of attorney. It is tough dealing with Medicare and honestly, almost every medical group she sees.
My little sister has a brain injury so I deal with her docs too. The stress is almost too much some days but I just make my To Do list for the week and try my best.
My best advice is to talk to your parents before the illness advances and get what they want IN WRITING. Also, get it in writing that you have permission to speak on your parents behalf and send copies to Medicare/Medicaid, doctors, pharmacists, everybody.
*Do your best to get at least one day a week away.

[emilyg]

5. Excellent.

I went through it with Dad.

[DURHAM D]

6. Both of my parents have Alzheimers.

Father 92 - Mother 86. We are 5 1/2 years into their diagnosis.

My parents had everything in place. POAs, health care POAs, long term health insurance, Plan B & D, etc. They have even provided us memorial service plans, notes for their obituaries, etc. They picked out their gravestones and had them placed in the cemetery years ago. All that is missing is the ending date. They even purchased the double urn for the ashes. They kept saying that their kids were too busy and they had nothing better to do. They thought it was all very amusing.

The best thing they did - the family trust. The trust was set up so we could help them manage their lives. They gave myself and my two siblings equal decision making powers. Everything is decided by a vote and surprisingly it is usually unanimous. The thing my parents were most concerned about is how us kids would get along. Although the three of us are separated by a total of 35 months we were not close. Only my sister lives in the same town. Our relationships could have gone either way but over the past three years we have become very close as we had to downsize their living situation and eventually moved my Mother into a special needs unit and my Father into a semi-assisted unit in the same complex. He still walks over to see her four times a day. My brother and I split the phone calls up - I talk to doctors, dentists, health care providers and attorneys. My brother talks to the VA, the insurance companies, the CPA, and their financial planner. My sister does the laundry, buys my Dad's groceries, pays his bills, and visits them every day after work. Sometimes she takes off work to go to doctor appointments. Sometimes I fly home for the doctor appointments.

My parents were so pleased to watch their children become good friends. It only took us 60 years. In the oddest and most unexpected way their illness has been a blessing.

We thank them every day for planning ahead. Turns out they were really, really great parents.