‘That’s so gay’ prompts a lawsuit

[Fountain79]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17388702/?GT1=9145

SANTA ROSA, Calif. - When a few classmates razzed Rebekah Rice about her Mormon upbringing with questions such as, "Do you have 10 moms?" she shot back: "That's so gay."

Those three words landed the high school freshman in the principal's office and resulted in a lawsuit that raises this question: When do playground insults used every day all over America cross the line into hate speech that must be stamped out?

[Clark2008]

1. So - how come the other classmates weren't also taken to the

office for using blatant stereotypes?

[helderheid]

7. my first thought too

[Tom Joad]

18. yeah, everyone could use a talk here. Not punishment, just a little more awareness

of how those kinds of things can be hurtful.

[Bill McBlueState]

88. they might have been taken to the office

The article doesn't actually say what happened to the "10 moms" kids.

[Behind the Aegis]

2. As much as I hate that phrase,...

...the others were just as guilty in engaging in bigotry.

[Bill McBlueState]

89. two wrongs don't make a right.

Sorry for the cliche, but there it is...

[WI_DEM]

3. perhaps the people who were picking on her should also have landed in the principal's office?

[Bill McBlueState]

90. they might have been taken to the office

The article doesn't actually say what happened to the "10 moms" kids.

[Fountain79]

4. Personally after thinking about it...

I think it is an overreaction on the part of the school. As a couple people have already pointed out, there was little done to deal with what was said about the mormon student. I've heard a lot of kids use the statement without the intention of of it being hurtful towards homosexuals but rather intended as it was mentioned as a way of saying "silly"/"stupid". I think educating the individual would have been a better way of going about it rather than harshly punishing her.

[mainer]

102. I agree. It doesn't mean what we think it does, at least to teens.

[Roxy66]

5. My 10yr old son said that after school one day..and lets just say

he hasn't said it since. I promptly shut that down real quick. I asked him why he would use gay in such a manner, and he said "everyone say's it". I told him it was an ugly and insulting use of the word "gay"...and that it's o.k. to call something stupid or lame, but never to use the word "gay" in a negative way. I think he got it. I have always exposed my kids to all walks of life and he is very comfortable talking about gay people in our own house, but I think at school kids are still so polluted by prejudices at home, that it can be quite a problem. I am trying to teach him it's o.k. to stand up for what you believe in even if other kids put you down, because they have not been taught tolerance.

[Deja Q]

9. .

:yourock:

[Edweird]

26. But by the same logic, couldn't it be argued that you're encouraging

prejudices against the learning disabled (stupid) and newly crippled veterans (lame)?
I would say just let kids be kids, but I don't want to risk a lawsuit from the goat lobby.

[whathappened]

6. this bs has gotten way out of hand

my sister went to work for walmart and lasted 1 week , she was working with a mexican in the jeweler dept , and that lady went to management and complained to them that my sister was racist and she don't have a racist bone in her body , today she just don't understand why that lady did that to her , she must have thought her job would be lost , because my sis use to work for a big jewlry store , so how can this be stopped and still be fare to those who have been victoms of racism , she did'nt fight it cause she thought that any store who would be so cheap to take a shot at her befor looking into the problem was not worth working for

[BlackVelvet04]

22. Ever heard of periods and

capitalization?

What did you intend to say?

[Deja Q]

8. And to think of the day when 'gay' meant 'happy'.

It's amazing how quickly anything can be turned into something it's not.

[jannyk]

24. Yep, read any literature from just over 50 years ago

and all the heterosexual 'gay young things' were swanning about all over the place. Actually, when I was growing up in england 'gay' still meant 'happy' or 'lighthearted' and I'm only 52.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

10. Ten women married to each other?

Maybe a little bit gay.

:shrug:

[Bronyraurus]

39. Ha!

[DaveJ]

11. Her parents suing was an over-reaction

Parents suing a school for calling their daughter to principals office is ridiculous.

Whether right or wrong, this school had a specific rule against that phrase, because gay students were beaten the prior year. The school has an obligation to protect their students. She broke the rule, so the principal talked to her. That's a lame reason to sue.

[etherealtruth]

12. It really sounds as if this school would benefit from some major diversity training

:shrug:

[DaveJ]

15. Definitely -- And I thought CA wasn't supposed to be like this...

My kids go to two different high schools and I have not heard of intolerance like this where they go.

[Sadie4629]

13. I think it was more than being called to the office

Seems I read there was disciplinary action of some kind taken.

[DaveJ]

17. They keep saying she was "disciplined"...

...but never say what that was, so I can only assume that being talked to by the principal is being disciplined. :shrug:

[Xithras]

40. No, it was appropriate.

Especially now that she is 18. A disciplinary note was placed in her school record, and those types of notes are evaluated by some universities. This kind of thing can make or break a kid trying to get into a competitive school.

A simple verbal warning should have sufficed, and escalation into a permanent mark on her record was uncalled for unless it had happened repeatedly. Had it been my daughter, I'd have sued too.

Then again, I may be a bit more sue happy than most. I pay my lawyer a yearly retainer, and have to do something to justify the expense :)

[aikoaiko]

14. now we get to find out whats more important religious harassment or sexual orientation harassment

:eyes:

[Name removed]

16. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Tom Joad]

19. you gotta be kidding. religious bigotry is not something that should be allowed.

[karlrschneider]

27. If that were a DU rule and enforced, 3/4 of us would be banned.

:eyes:

[Tom Joad]

28. Do not post broad-brush, bigoted statements. -- DU guidelines.

Please pay attention.

That does not include statements like... "I don't believe in _______" fill-in religious precept, e.g. Virgin Birth or Moses, or Krishna, or whatever.

It does include what is actually religious bigotry. e.g. repeating a negative stereotype of how people of a certain religious faith supposedly behave.

[karlrschneider]

31. As I pointed out, that rather vague rule is rarely enforced.

Do a search for "fundies", then get back to me.

[cali]

20. You could benefit from reading the Constitution.

Of course religious freedom should be protected. What the hell did you think this country was founded on? Unbelievable that anyone could make the comment you just did.

*shakes head in amazement*

[Name removed]

21. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TahitiNut]

25. Two wrongs don't make a right. (But millions make a right wing.)

Seriously, I can't regard it as a competition. Exhibitions of bigotry and intolerance are wrong, no matter what. They're toxic and usually indicate emotional adjustment problems, particularly in the young. I strongly favor counseling and community service, especially for minors. "Discipline" should be used very judiciously, imho, since it can often result in more deeply-embedded animosities, especially in younger people who are still confronting the fact that it's not a "fair world."

[Blue_Tires]

23. "keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay......"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSQys3LAvSI

[Kurovski]

30. Perfectly elegant.

Thank you.

The tenor's leathers are divine.

The happiest nine minutes and three seconds I've spent all week.

[Kurovski]

29. Frivolous suit.

"gay" is evolving into another version of the word "lame" with the kiddies.

That's the word.

[walldude]

32. I agree.. Not happy that they choose the word gay

and I am a huge supporter of gay rights, but they are just kids and they do like to make up slang. Words like cool, bitchin, wicked, radical and hundreds of others have all been corrupted, sure I wish that they had chosen another word but this saying will pass, and already is starting too. The new word my kids seem to be using is snap. I will say that I caught my oldest using "that's so gay" once and after I got through to him he never used it again. While some of us will stand against it, I don't see a lawsuit as doing anything but making it worse.

[Kurovski]

33. "Sick" means "insanely cool" in some places.

Whatcha gonna do?

[cgrindley]

35. Almost all places except nursing homes

It's totally current.

[Kurovski]

38. Lol!

:D

[cgrindley]

78. In some places LOL has transcended the ironic

and is now a slur.

EG LOL!!!11111!!!!!

more or less now means

YU0=dum

I believe that the vast majority of AOLisms are used as insults in the more cutting edge fora. It's certainly true that no one considers 133t sp33k to be anything other than hopelessly retarded.

[Kurovski]

100. "Retarded."

Uh-oh. :-)

[Xithras]

41. Snap? That's so 2002!

:)

[cgrindley]

34. That's so fay

I have three points:

1. Regarding the Mormon bashing. In the United States, and really elsewhere, we must tolerate the rights that others have to hold their own opinions, but every once in a while, free speech basically means that they're going to get insulted for those opinions themselves. If someone, say, believes in a flat earth. I will defend their right to hold an opinion, but ridicule them for holding that particular one. As far as matters of religion go. It's open season as far as I am concerned.

2. The hate speech regarding gay people issue is a little more complex. I doubt that the majority of people who call something gay mean that the thing they indicate is homosexually inclined.

EG that truck with the bulls balls is so gay

I'm pretty sure that the majority of people would define "gay" in this context as being "stupid" or "lame". The thing is that English words are merely defined through common use, not through any absolutes. There is no inherent link between the signifier and the signified. Words typically change meaning over time. EG silly, quaint, etc. We are well able to recognize this with the history of the word "gay". Everyone always says how it used to just mean "happy". Well, the same can be said again... it used to just mean "homosexual" but now it means either a) "homosexual" or b) "lame". To consider the truck example, you could easily substitute "lame" for "gay", but you probably couldn't get away with substituting "same sex oriented". EG you can determine intent by the appropriateness of alternate synonyms. That's just the way the language works, and English is not something that reacts well to this sort of attempt at control.

3. Fay is an awesome alternative and it probably wouldn't take much to get a "fay" for "gay" meme going for those uses where "gay" means "lame" or "stupid".

[Kurovski]

36. ofay is a slur. I think gay is evolving into it's third meaning

quite nicely on it's own. It will always have that shading to it, though. At least for a generation.

You can't really enforce this kind of thing. Language happens.

[cgrindley]

42. How is fay a slur?

Currently, it only means elven.. elfish? or is a verb meaning to join together.

[Kurovski]

44. Ofay is a slur used toward whites. I remember it in the 70's

but it has been said that it's been around for a number of decades prior.

At any rate, try telling a kid what to use as slang and see what happens. :-)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

46. I think kids can be taught not to use hateful slang.

They tend to know not to use racist slang, so why is homophobic slang any different?

[Kurovski]

48. Because it is more than halfway toward having yet another altogether different meaning

and that's the last time I'll write that.:-)

But have a kid call someone a "faggot", and the meaning is perfectly clear. (at least for now.)

And to be honest, I've heard "faggot" used by non-gay folks and THAT worked in some instances.

And it's weird, because "fagola" is pretty acceptable. It always sounded pretty cute to me. Like the diminutive, familiar form of "faggot". Also, I never in my life heard that word--fagola-- uttered in hate. And I've heard a great many words uttered in hate.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

49. It's offensive to gay people, and that's not going to change.

And I would love to see how "faggot" has worked okay in some instances when used by straight people. Referring to a cigarette as a "fag" when in the UK doesn't count.

[Kurovski]

50. It's not offensive to me.

And I'm a gay people. So we disagree there.

Young, nervous straight men who used it affectionately as a dig to one another. In the presence of a gay man, who helped raise them and who know the difference between ribbing one another and hurtfully calling an actual homo a "faggot" in hate.

It's another of the stupid, nervous outlets the sexually developing and enormously insecure young partake of. And sometimes it comes off as a very satire on acting-out, and has caused laughter.

That's how it worked out, but many will disagree.

[cgrindley]

67. Not OFAY.... FAY two different words

extra letters change things

[Kurovski]

99. Right you are.

Go for it. :-)

[Kurovski]

37. Delete. damned double post.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

43. One) That's a stupid idea. Two) "That's so gay" is homophobic.

It compares being gay with being stupid or lame. It says that being gay is bad.

Spin it anyway you want, but that's the truth.

[cgrindley]

69. You're not getting it

A word may have multiple meanings that are mutually exclusive. I believe that this is the case with "gay". I don't believe that when it is used to mean "lame" that it has anything to do with "homosexuality".

I'm willing follow the group will on this one, but I do believe that the group will is probably wrong.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

79. I get it and you believe wrong.

You have ABSOLUTELY no clue on ANYTHING pertaining to ANYTHING "gay." Seriously. Stop offering your sage advice.

This has nothing to do with you being straight, as there are awesome straight allies on DU, it has to do with the sheer volume of offensive statements coming from you.

[cgrindley]

81. There's no need to be nasty

I said I'd follow the group will on this. Besides, I try hard to never use "gay" in the sense of "lame". I use "lame" to mean "lame" or I use "stupid".

[NMMNG]

45. So you'd be ok with your gender being equated with "lame" or "stupid"

Like if I were to say "Your post is so male" ?

[cgrindley]

70. People do that all the time and no one cares

"Male" is used in that sense most of the time. I don't really think that men ever complain about the way that their sex is cruelly stereotyped, our concerns dismissed, our health issues ignored, our lives devalued, our educations compromised and so on. So go ahead and keep doing it. I certainly don't care.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

80. Oh please...men are oppressed?

Are you KIDDING me?

[cgrindley]

85. I wouldn't say oppressed

but I would say that it is really common to use maleness and male stereotypes as slurs. It's also extremely common to dismiss male concerns out of hand and to ridicule those who express those concerns (as you just did). It's a tiny bit irritating, but I don't really care.

[Bill McBlueState]

91. As a male, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Society is more or less built around the concerns of the male gender, and has been for millenia.

[cgrindley]

93. The history of the patriarchy is not under debate

But men do have some legitimate complaints that are glossed over by exactly those sorts of statements. EG declining male college attendance.

Just because the patriarchy dominated everything for the entire history of the human race until now doesn't mean that we shouldn't do something about the declining rate at which young men attend college today.

Just because the patriarchy was responsible for the cruel repression of women for millenia doesn't mean that we should ignore men's health issues today.

People have a habit of dismissing male concerns because of the past. Well, that's not right.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

94. More funding goes to men's health issues than women's so what are you talking about?

[cgrindley]

95. That's untrue

women's health issues get the vast bulk of funding, are the topic of the vast majority of scholarly books and scholarly articles.

[cgrindley]

96. One Example: NIH research spending FYI 2004

Breast Cancer: 566.2 million
Cervical Cancer: 79 million
Prostate Cancer: 308.5 million

New Cases

Prostate cancer: 218890
Breast cancer: 176450
Cervical cancer: 11150

Reserach spending per new case:

Cervical 7085.20
Breast 3208.84
Prostate 1409.38

Deaths

Prostate 27050
Breast 40010
Cervix 3670

Research spending per death:

Cervical 14151.46
Breast 21525
Prostate 11404

If research spending on Prostate cancer was keyed to reserach spending on breast cancer according to number of expected cases, then prostate cancer reserach would have received 1.6 billion dollars this year.

I do not think that funding for Breast and Cervical cancers should be cut, but that funding for prostate cancer should be increased.

[GoneOffShore]

47. Fay or fey

Has been in use in the UK for years as a synonym for gay but also as a meaning for "Light weight" or "soft".

A polite way of saying, "He's a poof".

Added on edit:

Does anyone remember the Monty Python routine about the University of Wallabaloo?

I guess that wouldn't get much laughter around here, despite the fact that one of the guys who wrote it and performed it, Graham Chapman, was gay.

Added on edit.

I'm not starting, I'm just saying.

[Kurovski]

51. There isn't one bloody thing MP has done that I didn't like.

But I don't recall that one, offhand.

Edit: I always thought "poof" or "poofter" was polite...and adorable.

But maybe it wasn't that polite 40 years ago or so.

[Oeditpus Rex]

60. Perhaps you'd recognize it

as the "Bruces" sketch.







"Australia! Australia! Australia! Australia! We love you! Amen!"



Oh... and it's the University of Woolamaloo.

[Kurovski]

63. The picture alone is making me laugh.

:D Still not ringing a bell, but if I saw a clip I bet it would come back to me.

[Oeditpus Rex]

65. No problem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqgnExSiS0s

G'day, Bruce! :7

[Kurovski]

66. I'm going to file a lawsuit on Australia's behalf!

:D

[GoneOffShore]

84. Thanks for the YouTube link

And the correction.

I'm thinking of adding G'day Bruce to my sig line. :rofl:

I do have a favorite Aussie joke all about the mating habits of young Australians. But it would probably get alerted. :(

[Maven]

52. Can't you just get off this fucking topic?

You obviously know nothing about what you're talking about and you're only looking to antagonize people. This is the THIRD THREAD that I've seen so far.

Just stop.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

53. Oh snap.

:thumbsup:

[flvegan]

54. "That truck with the bulls balls is so cgrindley"

In the most negative way stated.

How's that?

Or how about replacing "cgrindley" with "Catholic" or "Christian" or "fatherly" or whatever the hell else one is or relates to?

Oh, it's okay to say that something "is gay" in a negative light because, shit, folks get that "gay" means that, right? Right? Maybe, but gay folks might fucking not, right? But then, who cares. Being gay is just...so gay. BTW, when it's okay to equate "gay" being "stupid" or "lame" then we need to take the damn word the hell back and not use it that way any more.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

55. Very good post.

:thumbsup:

[Kurovski]

56. But it's too late. And there are more important things to do

than to fight against a tide of meaning-change in a word such as this. However, Schools will have to continue officially conducting in the same manner, even as the language and attitudes around them continue to change.

For almost ten years as a child it was a silent, anguishing hurt I experienced every time I heard a word uttered in contempt and vitriol against a gay person, and particularly of course when it was directed against me. And there was no support or refuge for, or from it back then.

The remarkably healing thing about how a word is used: all the hateful ways language was used to purposefully damage a child--a child, for cry-eye--resulted in healing when used with humor and affection by supporting and loving friends when I came out in high school. Friends who are still in my life.

It was healing and cleansing and freeing to have those words, once used to lock me in a psychological prison, used instead in a free-wheeling and loving way.

When someone uses a word like "homo" or "fag" on say, The Daily Show, or some other equally aware outlet, I actually appreciate it. It's just one more way I healed from all the hate so many strived to destroy me with.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

59. You do realize it wasn't said with "love" in this context, right?

:eyes:

[Kurovski]

62. Yes of course. And it looks to be used, in its context , to mean "lame".

Kids crab, snap and smart-off to one another all friken' day long.

...and they roll their eyes quite frequently as well.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

64. Which equates "gay" with something bad.

And I'm quite aware of what kids do to each other. I don't think they should be using racist or homophobic slurs.

[cgrindley]

71. Umm... that's actually my point

No one really "owns" a word and it will have a life of its own. Do you think, for example, that the recent ban in NYC of the N-word is going to stop 15 year old Black kids from using it at each other on the subway in the morning when I'm on my way to work? I highly doubt it. I don't think that they mean the N-word in the same sense that it was used against African Americans in the past, and I doubt very much that any city council bill is going to change their lexicon. No one today "owns" language. It will do whatever the majority of people want it to do.

You have to understand that the one meaning is not being "equated" with the other, but is parallel with it. They are two different lexical items inhabiting the same set of letters. Personally, I don't think that the process can be stopped. Just like current use of the N-word among young African Americas, I think it's something you're going to have to live with.

[Bluebear]

57. When did you move from Canada to Connecticut?

Yesterday?

[NMMNG]

58. .....

:popcorn:

[Fountain79]

68. Wha???? n/t

[k_jerome]

61. i would tend to agree with you on #2....

based on my experience that the majority of people are bigots, and thus insensitive to the views of minorities.

[cgrindley]

73. A slur may be unintentional bigotry

EG Americans still call the Inuit Eskimo. People still say "welsh on a deal". People eat croissants.

Not every action has any connection to its original meaning.

I just don't think that when people say "gay" meaning "lame" that they're making a connection between "gay" people and "lameness". I don't think anyone thinks that being "gay" is "lame". Being gay is not being lame.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

82. And you think wrong and "that's so gay" is DEFINITELY hurtful for gay kids to hear constantly.

Something needs to be done about it and people need to stop trying to justify hurtful homophobic language.

[cgrindley]

86. Look

I'm not justifying anyone's use of the word "gay". I am merely explaining that they are probably using it without any intent to offend. There is a difference.

I DON'T USE THE SLUR MYSELF. I WOULD NEVER LET MY CHILDREN USE IT. I THINK IT IS HOMOPHOBIC, BUT JUST NOT AS HOMOPHOBIC AS OTHER THINGS PEOPLE ROUTINELY SAY.

[k_jerome]

98. your defense of this bigotry is interesting...i would submit to you that when bigotry....

becomes so ingrained in our society...that when it becomes so common to use a slur that it actually becomes "unintentional", it is a sad reflection on the citizens of that society. in my opinion, this is not a valid refuge to park hatred, for those that practice it, or those that defend its usage.

[ecstatic]

72. One thing. What about when people talk about something being dark or black

in a negative context? Like, he had a black heart... Or his soul is dark or "Black Tuesday"...? From that standpoint I agree that sometimes words and their uses morph into different meanings that seem to have little or nothing to do with other meanings (then again sometimes they do); nevertheless, it still is offensive when you really think about it.

[cgrindley]

74. The debate lives in that *really* part

EG welsh on a deal, gyp someone, etc.

We *all* know the origins of these slurs, but the vast majority of people who use them, do not know. Matter of fact, I didn't learn the meaning of welsh on a deal until I actually moved to the UK, and even then, it didn't make any sense.

What about Mardi Gras? Is that a slur? How many people have any idea what it means?

Outside this forum, (this forum contains a lot of clever people) these sorts of debates simply don't occur. People don't think that much.

But, let's ask ourselves that if we want to stop this usage (and for the record, I don't use it myself), how would we do it?

edited for a comic lack of clarity

[Edweird]

75. Take lame and stupid.

Some posters here got upset and responded "I told him it was an ugly and insulting use of the word "gay"...and that it's o.k. to call something stupid or lame, but never to use the word "gay" in a negative way." and "It compares being gay with being stupid or lame. It says that being gay is bad." and "So you'd be ok with your gender being equated with "lame" or "stupid"
I am sure I could find some veterans that will never walk again or suffered head trauma or their families that might take exception to their use of lame and stupid as a pejorative.

[cgrindley]

76. Well there's a need for perjoratives

Take those bull balls hanging from the pickup trucks of rednecks. How are we supposed to describe them? They really are stupid.

[Edweird]

87. I agree, there is a need.

My point is that there are people getting their undies in a wad about a 13 year old acting like a 13 year old gold. I use 'em, you use 'em everybody does it. But what gets my Irish up is when people feel that their hate speech is ok, while condemning others for hate speech. I mean, if we applied the same standard to everybody there would be lawsuits on top of lawsuits. Maybe a little perspective is in order here. This wasn't a group of skinheads with baseball bats. This was a 13 y.o. girl, for crying out loud. Why is everybody so afraid of her?

[Atman]

77. And many of you scoffed at that 1970s - 2000s thread the other day

And said it was extreme and ridiculous. Guess again.

.

[Kurovski]

103. What thread is that? What is the title, or do you have a link?

Thank you.

[all.of.me]

83. i've seen the one-sided discipline thing happen with my daughter.

she is now 16, but in fourth grade, there were three boys throwing rocks at her after school. she kicked sand at them, and SHE got in trouble.

in high school, twice a girl (same girl) has come up from behind her to beat her up. once she defended herself, and she got in trouble. the other time she just walked away, because fighting would have benched her from sports.

in middle school, same thing. my kid got in trouble for defending herself, which is what i teach my kids. i don't teach them to provoke, but i do teach them to stand up for themselves.

i asked the administration each time why the kids are not praised for sticking up for themselves. i got NO answer, of course. it's infuriating what they are subtly teaching them. i feel like every day, i have to un-do the damage that is done.

[Bill McBlueState]

92. the discipline might not have been one-sided

The article doesn't actually say what happened to the "10 moms" kids.

[justiceischeap]

97. I think the focus is lacking in defense of these kids

After reading all the comments basically saying, "Hey gay people, it's just a phrase that isn't meant to insult, it's got a new meaning now," I'd have to say this... Just because the meaning is morphing, should we be allowing children or anyone else to use it unchecked?

Personally, when I hear someone say that phrase, I always ask, "What's gay about it? How's it like me?" This makes people think about what they're saying in the context of using it as an unintentional slur. I often get the reply, "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it," or "You know what I mean!" In turn, I say "No, how is what you're saying relating to me, I'm gay? So whatever it is you're talking about, how is it like me?"

We have to engage people in discussion, call them on this kind of BS because it is a slur to people who are gay and with so many children still killing themselves because of their sexuality you have to wonder if hearing this type of language on a daily basis is adding to their depression. You say something is gay because it's lame, so in turn kids not necessarily skilled at analytical thinking are going to equate what they're going through, on top of everything else, is lame. We should just ignore this? Get over it? I don't think so.

Too many straight people don't stop to think about how their seemingly innocent remarks can harm people and a lot of that has to do with lack of understanding of what a segment of the population goes through.

[mainer]

101. My sons used it -- I don't think it means what we think it does

My boys grew up with a strong sense of gay rights. Their aunts are gay, one of my boys is bi, and they have several friends with gay moms. Yet they used it in my hearing, and when I asked them what that meant, they said it has nothing to do with "gay" as in sexual orientation, but it means "that's so dumb." I stopped them from using it, but I have a feeling that it's one of those weird teen-speak things.