Alligator bites off arm of late-night swimmer in Okeechobee: Darwin award winner thanks God.

[trumad]

Here's the funny thing about the "God" thing---- wouldn't God have told this moran not to jump into a alligator infested canal? Also: Catch down below where he blames his attack on the overpopulation of Gators but conveniently leaves out that he was drunk on his ass--He He

Okeechobee - Kasey Edwards said he never paid "too much mind" to alligators swimming in canals in Okeechobee County.

But early Sunday morning, an 11½-foot alligator had his full attention as Edwards, 18, struggled to free his left arm from the jaws of the reptile.

"It's a very surreal feeling. You know, feeling like you're about to die here and you know, praying to God," Edwards said. "I have to give all the credit to God for keeping me out there."

He got away with his life and the gator with his left arm.

<snip>
At 2:21 a.m. Sunday, Edwards was hanging out with friends on Nubbin Slough in Okeechobee County when he told them he was going to swim across a 25-foot-deep canal, according to an Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office report.

Edwards had been drinking alcoholic beverages earlier and may have been impaired, according to witnesses quoted in the report. His friends tried to persuade him not to do it, the report states.

Halfway through the swim, an alligator approached Edwards and clamped down on his left arm. Edwards said he knew the next move was the death roll, when a gator pulls its prey underwater and rolls the victim around to drown it.

And that's when Edwards said he fought back by grabbing hold of a buoy line and not letting go. Somewhere in the battle he used the middle finger on his right hand to poke the reptile in the eye.

That's when Edwards got free, he said, started swimming and realized he didn't have his left arm. But his main concern was to make it to the east end of the canal so friends could pull him to safety.

Edwards said his attack shows something needs to be done about the overpopulation of gators.

"They're not protected creatures. They're nuisance animals," he said.

Edwards said the credit for his survival and quick thinking goes to God, friends and emergency personnel.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/palmbeach/sfl-flpgator0624pnjun24,0,6259577.story

[hobbit709]

1. God had nothing to do with it.

STOOPID had a lot to do with it.
He didn't qualify for the Darwin-he lived.

[hlthe2b]

2. We'd all be better off if he'd saved his arm and the gator...

had gotten his "third leg" instead. STOOPID sure doesn't need to be reproducing....:eyes:

[sarge43]

14. We haven't considered the gator.

For all we know, it may have prayed for something different for breakfast that morning and God said, "Why not?"

[meegbear]

3. I'm a purist in these matters ...

to be a "Darwin award winner", they have to die. That's what natural selection is all about.

[hobbit709]

5. Yep, if they live it's only a "stupid human trick"

[Catch22Dem]

11. Bingo, although I fully expect to see him get honorable mention

Besides, with intellect like his, and perseverance, we may get to see him on that list eventually. :D

[rucky]

13. Or rendered unable to breed. n/t

[Bucky]

37. They have to die or lose their nards.

Any permanent, self-inflicted stupidity that takes you out of the gene pool gets you a Darwin. It can be death, self-castration, or marrying Lorena Bobbit. If you can't breed, you can at least be a "Dar-winner."

[Contrary1]

50. More like "Dar-wiener." n/t

[kath]

45. self-delete

[boobooday]

4. Who is the nuisance animal?

The gator swimming in his canal, or the drunk guy who woke him up splashing around?

[MiniMe]

25. He didn't wake him up, gators feed at night

So the nuisance is the guy who decided to enter the gator's dinner table.

[timtom]

6. Damn! Dude loses his arm

in a moment of stupidity.

That's funnier than shit.

You disgust me.

[taterguy]

12. You're easily disgusted and yet you clicked on a thread with the words alligator and Darwin?

:wtf:

[timtom]

15. So you think an 18 year old kid who did something stupid

and has now fucked up his life is a cause for celebration?

WTF back at ya.

As it turns out, this story was in the local paper here and is of interest because of its proximity.

Did you ever do anything stupid as a teenager that could have negatively impacted your life but you lucked out?

And your not-so-clever deflection attempt by turning the blame back on me for looking is incredibly lame.

The question remains: is the suffering of a young human being a cause for celebration? Or is it just the suffering of certain types or...what?

Is it really funny?

Defend your position all you wish, this still casts a bad light on DU.

[hobbit709]

16. I did lots of dumb things in my time

But swimming in a gator infested canal was NEVER on the list.
"Stupidity cannot be cured. But stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death, there is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity."-R.A.H.

[timtom]

17. The question is not about you duplicating what that kid did

Was anything you did that was dumb something that could have exploded in your face with tragic results?

And why is this matter a cause for celebration?

What about the wanker who dies during an auto-erotic episode with a noose around his neck? And what about the parents and friends? Is THAT funny? Is it stupid?

How about the 15 year old kid who finds a loaded gun? "I didn't know it was loaded..."

I'm sorry. I don't know what I could have been thinking. Of course all of this is funnier than hell and deserves a "Darwin award".

[hobbit709]

20. I did things that could have gotten me killed a dozen times over

I've been so fried on various substances that I had to look at my ID to see who I was. But I still NEVER thought of jumping into gator infested water.

[timtom]

29. Austin, huh?

Ever go swimming at Campbell's Hole?

Ever jump off that high rock (am I thinking of the right swimming hole?) Once a year someone would be paralyzed for life over that one.

And I would wonder about moccasins.

[High Plains]

35. That's a long drop. I did it once.

What an idiot, I thought to myself later.

[hobbit709]

38. Long drop, shallow water with rocks. No way!

I knew I wasn't like Wile E Coyote in a cartoon.

[timtom]

39. I didn't do it either

though I did a similar jump in Hawaii in the 60's.

And, having grown up in South Florida I did, in fact, go swimming in canals where water moccasins and alligators were known to hang out occasionally.

But, we were invincible then.

[Mythsaje]

43. Yup... Sounds like Heinlein, all right. n/t

[pt22]

44. It's not just funny, it's fucking HILARIOUS

:rofl: :rofl:

[taterguy]

54. Did you laugh when the Black Knight lost all his limbs in the Holy Grail?

I rest my case

[MiniMe]

23. Its not intended to be ha-ha funny, IMHO

The first sentence of the article speaks volumes: Kasey Edwards said he never paid "too much mind" to alligators swimming in canals in Okeechobee County

Seems to me like you should pay attention to an 11 foot alligator. Especially when you go in the water during their feeding time.

Now the guy thinks that they all need to be destroyed. He said they aren't protected animals, they are a nuisance. He also credits God with saving him. Its like saying "I'm going to swim in shark infested waters with an open cut on my body" and expecting that God will save you.

Its sad that the guy lost his arm, but counting on God to save you from stupid acts and then wanting to destroy all animals like the one that caused his loss is just ridiculous.

[timtom]

46. I wish I'd seen your response earlier.

You make sense. But still, the absolute glee of some of these pogues makes me ashamed.

Thanks for the one thoughtful answer.

[RC]

7. The guy goes swimming in a predator animal's soup bowl and blames the

'gaiter for thinking he is dinner? Yeah, right.

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. 'Ol Kasey got even, though - he gave the gator the finger.

Nice work, dummy.

[MiniMe]

24. Would that be the finger on his left hand?

:hide:

[TheCowsCameHome]

28. Overheard, gator to Kasey: Buuuuuurrrrp!

[HereSince1628]

9. Alex Trebek says "Sorry but on review by the judges, this award has been revoked"

The guy is still a threat to the human gene pool. The 'gator left him alive and with an intact "package."

[DFW]

10. This guy says he "might have been impaired?"

It sounds like God was impaired for letting him live.

[moggie]

18. If he prays some more, maybe his arm will grow back n/t

[TheCowsCameHome]

19. Well, if starfish can do it, why not Kasey?

[DemoTex]

22. Spit in one hand and pray in the other ..

And see which hand fills up first.

Harry Crews, The Gospel Singer

[Nye Bevan]

21. He's not eligible for the Darwin Awards

Now if the alligator had bitten off his *testicles* this would have prevented the "swim with gators" gene being passed on to the next generation, and he would have been a prime candidate for this years awards.

[flvegan]

26. "Hey guys, watch this! Psst...hold my beer."

Nuisance animal, indeed. Sadly, they'll still go out like a bunch of morons after 11 1/2 food long gators till they think they've killed the right one.

[Bandit]

27. God Damn he is one dumb SOB...

God Damn he don't have no arm anymore..God Damn....

[L0oniX]

30. What a stupid fuck. Hey why not go play golf in a thunderstorm too while your at it.

How about you chum the ocean water before you jump in or take a nap while parking your car on a rail road track or j-walk a 8 lane freeway in LA. If you are stupid enough to try to swim at night in a lake or river in Florida you deserve what ever you get whether it be from a snake or a gator. DOH !

[Vickers]

31. I'm surprised this doesn't happen MORE often down here.

It's incredible the sheer amount of drunken dumbasses that live here in South Florida. Combine that with alligators in just about every body of fresh water and...

FTR, I am not necessarily excluding myself from the above blanket statement.

:P

[BreweryYardRat]

32. He may qualify for a Darwin award -- just not directly.

In Florida, in this shallow fuckin' state, he's not gonna be getting laid, not with his arm gone.

[hlthe2b]

41. What do you want to bet he becomes a "war hero" overnight....

as opposed to the true story....:eyes:

[Javaman]

33. I would love to hear just once one of these morons say...

"It was really stupid of me to swim in alligator infested waters while druck."

[DS1]

34. Does anyone in this fucking place have a clue what a Darwin Award involves?

It's not that fucking difficult.

Losing an arm is not winning anything.

[backscatter712]

36. I was about to say...

He's still able to reproduce. No Darwin Award for him! Honorable mention, maybe, but he doesn't meet the qualifications.

[Ghost in the Machine]

40. I've noticed so far that no one has mentioned the underaged consumption in this story

"But early Sunday morning, an 11½-foot alligator had his full attention as Edwards, 18, struggled to free his left arm from the jaws of the reptile.

<snip>
At 2:21 a.m. Sunday, Edwards was hanging out with friends on Nubbin Slough in Okeechobee County when he told them he was going to swim across a 25-foot-deep canal, according to an Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office report.

Edwards had been drinking alcoholic beverages earlier and may have been impaired, according to witnesses quoted in the report. His friends tried to persuade him not to do it, the report states."


Same thing that everyone ignored about the drunken idiots that made themselves tiger chow....

[moondust]

42. God's gator got him.

It was all part of God's mysterious plan, just like children with terminal cancer and the Holocaust.

[Dukkha]

47. God hates you! Stupid idiot moron!

seriously i'm so sick of these simpletons bringing up "God" and religion in every fucking public speech! enough already! :mad:
a shame the gator didn't bite his head off.

[NoGOPZone]

48. Did the gator say grace before swallowing the arm? nt

[KelleyKramer]

49. Siminole Wind ...

Maybe he should have listened to more music ...


Siminole Wind

Ever since the days of old,
Men would search for wealth untold.
They'd dig for silver and for gold,
And leave the empty holes.
And way down south in the Everglades,
Where the black water rolls and the saw grass sways
The eagles fly and the otters play,
In the land of the Seminole.

So blow, blow Seminole wind,
Blow like you're never gonna blow again.
I'm calling to you like a long lost friend,
But I know who you are.
And blow, blow from the Okeechobee,
All the way up to Micanopy.
Blow across the home of the Seminole,
The alligators and the gar.

Progress came and took its toll,
And in the name of flood control,
They made their plans and they drained the land,
Now the glades are going dry.
And the last time I walked in the swamp,
I sat upon a Cypress stump,
I listened close and I heard the ghost,
Of Osceola cry.

So blow, blow Seminole wind,
Blow like you're never gonna blow again.
I'm calling to you like a long lost friend
But I know who you are.
And blow, blow from the Okeechobee,
All the way up to Micanopy.
Blow across the home of the Seminole,
The alligators and the gar.

[tuckessee]

51. He said he'd hunted gators before.

So I guess it was just fair play.

[Duke Newcombe]

52. Schadenfreude, thy name is DU. n/t

Duke

[anonymous171]

53. His attack shows only how stupid he is. nt

[Blue Gardener]

55. The gator bit off the wrong appendage

The dumbass is still able to procreate.