Let's be creative (look at what i got in inbox)

[holiday]

someone sent this to me in email today. Thought I would have a little fun with them too.

So what do you think the Republican convention schedule is going to look like.

(this should be fun)




here is what she sent me:


7:00 pm: OPENING FLAG BURNING
>
> 7:15 pm: PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE T0 THE U.N.
>
> 7:20 pm: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 7:25 pm: NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse

> Jackson & Al Sharpton
>
> 7:45 pm: CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
>
> 7:55 pm: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 8:00 pm: HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
>
> 8:15 pm: GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
>
> 8:35 pm: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 8:40 pm: OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John
> Kerry
>
> 9.00 pm: MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS

> - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
>
> 10:00 pm: ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

>
> 11:00 pm: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 11:05 pm: COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN
> KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand
>
> 11:15 pm: FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS AT GUANTANAMO

> BAY - Sean Penn
>
> 11:30 pm: OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson

> Clinton
>
> 11:45 pm: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 11:50 pm: HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD
> TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean
>
> 12:15 am: TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented by Dan
Rather and Michael Moore
>
> 12:25 am: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
>
> 12:30 am: SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
>
> 12:45 am: NOMINATION OF Barack Hussein Obama-
> Nancy Pelosi
>
> 1:00 am: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST to Obama
>
> 1:30 am: Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST to
Hillary Clinton
>
> 1:35 am: Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive
Hillary home

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. 2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance to George W. Bush
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights
6:45 PM Salute to the Project for the New American Century
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on “Are Elections Really Necessary?”
7:30 PM Announcement: Mark Foley Was a Closet Democrat
7:35 PM Trent Lott - “Re-Segregation in the 21st Century”
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It’s What’s for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Dennis Hastert leads discussion: How to Shirk Responsibility and Get Away with It
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on “Why Women Shouldn’t Be Leaders”
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Pat Robertson
10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: How to Commit Perjury and Obstruction of Justice and Get Away with It
10:35 PM George W. Bush demonstration of trademark “deer in headlights” stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM GOP’s Tribute to Tokenism, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and Alberto Gonzales
10:46 PM Ann Coulter’s Tribute “Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot”
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation’s Economy
11:10 PM Dick Cheney leads discussion: How to Shoot People, Cover It Up, and Get Away with It
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton
11:40 PM Twice-Divorced Newt Gingrich speaks on “The Sanctity of Marriage”
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of GW Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

http://jpricemahoney.com/2006/10/18/2008-republican-national-convention-agenda/

[BrklynLiberal]

4. perfect...

[truedelphi]

5. That is sublimely funny. n/t

[FLAprogressive]

7. You forgot

"Ron Christie, Alan Keyes, and Joe Watkins read from 'Uncle Tom's Cabin'."

[Cleita]

10. Change the first one to the Rev. Pat Robertson or Rev. Dobson cause

Falwell is dead. But good rejoinder.

[ColbertWatcher]

14. GOP Response Agenda ...

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION, MINNEAPOLIS-ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA

DAY ONE

5:00 am Ceremonial cross burning

6:00 am Ceremonial Changing of McCain's diaper

7:00 am Pancake and Prayer breakfast

7:01 am McCain delivers the "I am a POW" speech

7:02 am The running of the "Explain what McCain really meant Pundit Relay" begins

8:00 am Matlock

9:00 am Morning nap time

9:01 am The running of the "Make excuses for McCain's age Pundit Relay" begins

10:30 am McCain receives his morning briefing on media outlets Obama has been on that he hasn't

10:35 am McCain receives his morning relaxation "briefing"

11:00 am Afternoon nap time

12:30 pm Ceremonial Changing of McCain's diaper

1:00 pm Afternoon Prune and Prayer snack

2:00 pm secure ride on the "Straight Talk Express" around an abandoned airfield with reporters, kick anyone off who mentions the real location to McCain

3:00 pm First Lobbyist Speech begins

3:02 pm McCain angrily interrupts demanding to know why someone else is making a speech at his convention

3:03 pm The running of the "Deny McCain has vanity issues Pundit Relay" begins

3:03 pm McCain receives his afternoon relaxation "briefing"

3:04 pm tune into "Murder, She Wrote" already in progress

4:00 pm McCain delivers the "I am a POW" speech

4:30 pm Torture and Prayer dinner

5:30 pm The McCains hold their daily "Mrs. McCain's Appearance" debate

5:31 pm McCain receives his evening relaxation "briefing"

5:31 pm The running of the "Deny McCain has anger and misogynism issues Pundit Relay" begins

5:45 pm Ceremonial Changing of McCain's diaper

5:55 pm recitation of the "We Miss The Myth of Ronald Reagan" prayer

6:00 pm Bed time

[Kerrytravelers]

2. You have a very sick individual emailing you.

I wouldn't correspond with such a person.

Blech.

[holiday]

3. I've got one

10:00 am Guiliani speach where he will do nothing but say 911 one hundred times

[napi21]

6. Well, I can't do an entire schedule, but I have a few suggestions.

Giuliani speaks about 9/11 for 1 1/2 hrs.

Boneher whines for 1 hr. because the Dems don't like him and won't let him vote!

Leiberman speaks about how much better OLD people are than those young whippersnappers.

McNut gives his 4 minute acceptance speech and falls asleep on stage.

[holiday]

13. or how about

at the end they all thank Jack Abramoff for donating money to the convention festivities

[LiberalEsto]

8. Ted Kennedy has brain cancer

Obviously these sickos wouldn't dream of cutting him some slack on that account. What a gang of insensitive, evil assholes.

[Dukkha]

9. a few more

Bush does a reading from The Pet Goat for a hour, discusses economic theories called "Subtraction: addition's tricky pal"
Fred Phelps sermon: Suppressing the gay within you
Barbara Bush reminisces about those ungrateful scumbags from New Orleans
The Bush twins speak incoherently then roll around on the floor
Adolf Hitler posthumously named to RNC for his "visionary ideals"
Diebold accidental unveils election results spoiler early

[holiday]

11. how about

Larry Craig defends his "wide stance" in public bathrooms

[holiday]

12. scooter

11:00 am Lewis "Scooter" Libby admits he did leak Valerie Plame's name, and it doesn't matter b/c the prez pardoned him.

[holiday]

15. ha

8:00pm Follow up speach on economics "Give to the rich and make the middle class homeless"

[holiday]

16. lol

7:30pm Various republican senators will use powerpoint presentation to show why it's good for America for no one to have insurance

[holiday]

17. lol

9:45pm 1 hour salute to Fox News

[holiday]

18. I like this i came up with

6:45pm President Bush will talk about how "gas prices are down, home ownership is at it's highest and food is at all time low, and we have won the war! Obviously republican policies work".