Financial Crisis Blamed on Two Small Children, Elderly Bird-feed Saleswoman.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

Breaking: Following the most recent bank collapse, to be specific the Dawes, Tomes, Mousley, Grubbs, Fidelity Fiduciary Bank, economists today scrambled to find some minority, foreigner, or otherwise defensesless person to blame for the issue. They finally settled on two small children, identified only as "Jane" and "Michael," alledgedly children of one of the banks middle managers, who was promptly sacked. The bank collapsed when the children withdrew tuppence for the sake of "feeding the birds," which is apparently youth slang for snorting a lethal combination of crystal meth and tabasco sauce, according to investigators. Quoting senior bank official Mr. Dawes, "there's no reason why on earth we should have to suffer because these irresponsible brats borrowed more than they could afford to pay. We, however, need a bailout. If the banks fall, England falls." The bank suffered more bad news when its CEO, elderly Mr. Dawes snr. plummeted over 60 ft. to his death after failing to laugh hysterically.

[Sequoia]

1. Funny, I was thinking about those kids yesterday.

Don't forget their mom was never home, she was out trying to get the vote for women and left those kids in the care of a dirty chimney sweep. Mary? Ha, she's a witch that flies with her open umbrella. I tell ya, you just can't get good help anymore.

[nosillies]

2. We all need some of what Uncle Albert was smoking

Then we could just laugh our way through it all.

[samdogmom]

3. "Feed the birds...tupeance...., etc."

Thank you Mary Poppins for pointing out the how ridiculous this all is!

Where were the grown-ups during the lead up to the debacle?

[Tangerine LaBamba]

4. Jonathan Swift was right

If they'd only eaten those kids, none of this would have happened.................

[RoyGBiv]

5. Oh, this is brilliant ...

Thanks. I needed that.

[liberalhistorian]

6. LOL, good one! As a young child

I didn't really understand that part of things when I first saw it, but it became even funnier when I got older and finally did understand. Too bad it ain't so funny right now, because that's exactly what the fatcat fuckers would do.

[Winterblues]

7. Tabasco sauce..I knew it..It is the Mexican's fault...

:silly:

[Nihil]

8. Thanks ... I needed that!

:toast:

[raccoon]

9. Thanks for a good laugh. nt

[Starry Messenger]

10. I heart this.

:thumbsup: