How I plan on dealing with the economic crisis tomorrow.

[LeftyFingerPop]

5 AM - awaken.

0507 - Reach over to nightstand for whiskey bottle. Do two shots.

0509 - Urinate. Run wet washcloth over face. Brush teeth.

0510 - two more shots of whiskey

0515 - put on underwear, black socks, and dress shoes. Nothing else.

0517 - sit at computer and start reading financial news. 3 more shots.

0530 - Breakfast. Doritos and a baloney sandwich.

0600 - 0930 - Continue reading financial news and drinking whiskey. Cry profusely. Check 401k balance.

0930 - 1200 - monitor stock market closely at computer. Beer with left hand, whiskey with right. Continue crying. Call old friends up and merely say "Iths all over man, iths all fugging over"" and hang up.

1201 - 1230 - Lunch. Whiskey, beer, and 45 slices of American cheese.

1231 - 400 - watch the market drop 2900 points in a drunken haze. Giggle inappropriately. Check 401k balance online and notice it now has a negative balance.

401 - market has closed.

402 - Morphine enema. While giving myself the enema, watch CNBC and take notice of how annoying Maria Buttafuaco Bartoroma's voice is.

430 - Dinner. Suck on raw frozen chicken wings, un-thawed. Blueberry pop tart with mustard for dessert.

431 - 930 - the real drinking begins.

931 - bed time.

[Dogmudgeon]

1. I don't drink

But I just got a Percocet refill.

Cheers! ... or something like that.

--p!

[Occulus]

34. My liver will be waking me up

holding a cup of coffee and a cigarette.

Not that invest; I don't, and I don't own a home, but this entire situation is a boulder thrown into a pond.

[villager]

2. And the day after?

;-)

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. Then I'm really going to do some drinking.

:)

[Kool Kitty]

3. Since it sounds better than my day tomorrow,

helping my husband replace the bedroom windows, can I come to your house?

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. Sure, if my drunken ramblings won't bother you

:)

[Kool Kitty]

23. Drunken ramblings bother me not at all-

the swearing, griping, groaning and occasional thrown tools I can do without.

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. You still have medical insurance? That looks like a recipe for alcohol poisoning

[BrklynLiberal]

5. I am glad I finished that coffee BEFORE I read your post....or you would owe me a keyboard..

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[LeftyFingerPop]

21. Ha! Good!

Things have become so insane, there is really nothing left to do but laugh! :D

[BrklynLiberal]

27. Well thanks for a very good one....

:thumbsup: :hi:

[SammyWinstonJack]

6. "45 slices of American cheese"

:yoiks:

[cabluedem]

40. Yeah. Its the only thing we dont import sans Melamine.

[still_one]

7. one suggestion, watch Bloomberg instead of CNBS /nt

[question everything]

8. Here's a suggestion

We just got the quarterly reports of our IRAs and 401Ks. I have not opened them, yet, but, no doubt, no matter how big the losses are, they are a lot better, as of Sept. 30th, than during any day since.

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. Unfortunately, I have the dubious pleasure of...

being able to view my balance on a daily basis.

[snot]

9. LoL! Thanks, I needed that.

[Speck Tater]

11. My solution will be...

Have about another three or four 5-gallon buckets to fill with grapes from my vines. Also have to pick the last of the red delicious apples. Only four trees still have unpicked fruit on them now. There aren't many tomatoes left on the vine, but what there are should be enough for a nice big batch of ketchup. The last round of strawberries need to be picked. I think I'll make those into jam. The garlic bed needs to be tilled up so I can set out the garlic seed bulbs in a few days so they'll set their roots over winter. Two of the compost heaps need turning. The tractor has a flat tire that needs patching.

Then I'll come in, make dinner from home grown organic goodies, pop a NetFlix into the dvd and have a beer and a movie before bed time.

Crisis? What crisis? It's just a day like any other.

[LeftyFingerPop]

17. But the big question is...

Do you have any pop tarts? :D

[Dr Fate]

14. Mmmmmm....baloney sandwich. n/t

n/t

[lovuian]

15. I will remember who I am

I am not defined by a dollar bill
I am not poor but rich in love
I will watch the sun rise like it has done for eons and set for eons

I will NOT let some Bozo in the whitehouse spoil my life
I am in control and I have the power

this will be my mantra for tomorrow

it all was an illusion from the get go
Wake up

[LeftyFingerPop]

19. Had a conversation with my sis today...

She said "How are you handling this"?

I just said "What can you do? It is only money anyway".

In the end, we are all in the same place.

[lovuian]

43. We are all ONE these men want power over us

and this is a power grab

the illusion is that they control us
when in actuality we have the power
we just hand it over to them


like I said this is an illusion

[2Design]

16. since I have no 401k or stock and very little savings and low paying job

and no health insurance, I will cut out the drinking part of the day
and just work, watch the market crash more after the head guy in the wh speaks and wonder how much more of our money they are throwing away just so they don't have to give us health care

[PurityOfEssence]

18. We're definitely heading into every version of a "Lost Weekend" here

It's only the first thousand points in a day that really sting...

[LeftyFingerPop]

20. Actually, because of health issues, I can't do what I posted....

But oh man, I want to.

[WCGreen]

22. Maria Buttafuaco Bartoroma's voice is like that because she has

som much botox in her lips they can't move fast enough to keep up with her mouth...

[prayin4rain]

24. haha i just keep telling myself that it will come back...

it may be 40-45 years..... but it will come back ;)

[LeftyFingerPop]

36. It will....

Long after I'm dead :rofl:

[illuminaughty]

42. cryogenics, dude!

I've got a date to become a popsicle until they can figure out a way to reverse my self inflicted lobotomy I was forced to perform yesterday.

And I think you should go for 50 slices of Am. Cheese. Patriotic! You may lose your colon but hey, you'll never know with a morphine enema.

Seriously, thanks for the laugh.

[spag68]

25. Tomorrow

I know this will sound really stupid, but I have an appointment at the BofA to see an investment guy. I have some money in a savings account drawing .65%, so I'm going to by stocks. What the hell, change one worthless piece of paper for another.BofA, GE, and GM to be bought at 4:00 just before the market closes. Ok call me crazy, I accept the title.

[LeftyFingerPop]

26. You're not crazy...

And I actually think that tomorrow and Monday will be capitulation days. Watch for a huge drop with high volume. Might want to play it like this, but everyone has an opinion:

Horrible capitulation on Friday and Monday, then...

Big relief rally, followed by a re-testing of the lows, followed by...

A longgggg climb back.

Might want to wait a few days before buying...just my opinion. Good luck.

[spag68]

39. Thanks

I figured on leaving it in those picks for five years. By then my retirement money will be somewhat deflated by inflation and who knows, some won has to make cars and whatever it is that GE makes. Gm is at the same price as it was in 1950. If I had more ,I would go after something likeness's Wind Systems or Chesapeake Energy, but I'm limited to those few for mow . I get another piece in late Oct. so i'll see what happens. I have a paid for 93 Honda, a paid for 2001 Kawasaki and a reasonable mortgage. If my SS, and pensions, run out on me then i'll go back to work again.My wife gets govt. retirement money and if all theses go then we're all up shit creek with rubber paddle. I prefer to think it will work it's way out.

[tavalon]

29. As long as you do it just before closing Friday

and make sure to sell around 10:30 am on Monday (assuming the fucktard doesn't call a bank holiday). Otherwise, I think you definitely need to be called crazy. Take the money and stuff it under your mattres.

[LiberalHeart]

28. I'm gonna try to get a loan to buy a window so I can jump out of it.

[LeftyFingerPop]

30. I'm going to jump...

out of my basement window...ass first. :D

[BrotherBuzz]

31. Why not go Continental and try those swiss cheese slices instead of that American crap?

What type of bread on that bologna sandwich? All in all, it sounds great. I'm only pissed off that I had to cash in my 401k (heavy penalty) to pay for stomach, liver, colon, and lymph node surgery. The up side is I can now eat all the bologna sandwiches I wish!

[LeftyFingerPop]

32. I have a philosophy...

"Cheese" is not really cheese unless it has no natural ingredients in it. You know, "Cheese like products" and things like that. :D

I'm glad your surgery worked out! :thumbsup:

Your health is much more important than money...I don't have my health, and I sure wish I did.

[BrotherBuzz]

33. I have a philosophy...

Health and happiness can be achieved with Oxycodone. I'm a winemaker and used to say, "It takes a lot of beer to make wine". Now, with miracle wonder drugs, I can make fine wine without any of the benefits of beer. Ain't life grand?

[LeftyFingerPop]

35. Funny you should mention that...

I took a few Vicodin tonight. I have severe nerve pain, and I was taking Lyrica until it crapped out on me. So once in awhile, I'll take a few Vikes. I have to be careful though...I like them too much, so I only take when I can't stand the pain.

Yep...Life is indeed grand!

When my health starts getting me down, I just kind of steel myself and say "ah fuck it, this is the way it is going to be".

Sometimes that helps, sometimes not.

[Lil Missy]

37. Please send me pics of you only in your underwear, socks, and dress shoes.

I PROMISE I will only use it for my own entertainment purposes.

O8)

[Incitatus]

38. I'm going to take a xanax and try to not look at any market data.

[vanderBeth]

41. Ah. Doritos and a baloney sandwich

The breakfast of champions.

[GeorgeGist]

44. Profit slave to the end, eh?