P.J. O'Rourke needs a 'Waahmbulance!'

[stevedeshazer]

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Utilities/printer_preview.asp?idArticle=15791&R=13CD5192BC

We Blew It
A look back in remorse on the conservative opportunity that was squandered.

<snip>

Let us bend over and kiss our ass goodbye. Our 28-year conservative opportunity to fix the moral and practical boundaries of government is gone--gone with the bear market and the Bear Stearns and the bear that's headed off to do you-know-what in the woods on our philosophy.

An entire generation has been born, grown up, and had families of its own since Ronald Reagan was elected. And where is the world we promised these children of the Conservative Age? Where is this land of freedom and responsibility, knowledge, opportunity, accomplishment, honor, truth, trust, and one boring hour each week spent in itchy clothes at church, synagogue, or mosque? It lies in ruins at our feet, as well it might, since we ourselves kicked the shining city upon a hill into dust and rubble. The progeny of the Reagan Revolution will live instead in the universe that revolves around Hyde Park.

Mind you, they won't live in Hyde Park. Those leafy precincts will be reserved for the micromanagers and macro-apparatchiks of liberalism--for Secretary of the Department of Peace Bill Ayers and Secretary of the Department of Fairness Bernardine Dohrn. The formerly independent citizens of our previously self-governed nation will live, as I said, around Hyde Park. They will make what homes they can in the physical, ethical, and intellectual slums of the South Side of Chicago.

The South Side of Chicago is what everyplace in America will be once the Democratic administration and filibuster-resistant Democratic Congress have tackled global warming, sustainability, green alternatives to coal and oil, subprime mortgage foreclosures, consumer protection, business oversight, financial regulation, health care reform, taxes on the "rich," and urban sprawl. The Democrats will have plenty of time to do all this because conservatism, if it is ever reborn, will not come again in the lifetime of anyone old enough to be rounded up by ACORN and shipped to the polling booths.

---

Much more whining, finger-pointing and just plain snobbery at link.

[BeyondGeography]

1. Psssst, PJ: Maybe it was all a lie

David Stockman blew your cover one year into the "revolution," and it has been all bullshit spin about "patriotism" and "family values" since.

[dbonds]

2. That was a pretty vile article.

Also shows he is clueless about what liberals believe, and doesn't have a good idea what conservatives believe either - just calls it 'freedom'.

[LittleApple81]

6. He is a "has been" who hates people on bikes and environmentalists and liberals and feminists and

anybody that would not read his books. He is looking old and worn-out, so that may contribute to feelings of inadequacy that get transferred to all his imaginary enemies.

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

8. He's been going downhill for some time now.

Very shrill he is, these days. And not very funny. He was funnier when he didn't take himself so seriously.

[NC_Nurse]

3. Hmmm...speaking of elitists. When are some of these Repubs gonna get called

out for being the definition of elitist?

[tsuki]

12. Nah, you must THINK and form YOUR OWN opinions to be an elitist. nt

[Gold Metal Flake]

4. Remember when he was funny? Back in the 1970's?

[123infinity]

9. He traded National Lampoon for National Review.

:puke:

[mitchum]

22. And even in the Nat Lamp days,the others said that he always came off like a narc

[Dr Fate]

24. Re-read your old National Lampoons & tell me if they are still as funny as you remember them.

At least the Rourke stuff...

[stevedeshazer]

32. No.

:)

[Fovea]

5. Let me see if I get this straight, P.J.

Your generation single handedly made the termite the unofficial symbol of the conservative movement, and now you're wondering why the tree is lying across your Lexus?

Now put yoor Gordon Gecko mask back on, there's a whole crowd of former 901k holders who are getting impatient for their NeoCon ride.

[Batgirl]

26. You said a hell of a lot there in just a couple of sentences.

The termite is an apt symbol for the movement that did it's destructive work of looting the Treasury, flouting the Constitution, turning Wall St. into a multi-level marketing scam, destroying unions, sucking the life from the middle class, allowing infrastructure to crumble, devoting their real energies like termintes eating away at the supporting structures, while so many were distracted by the shiny facade of a manufactured housing bubble, with values rising to infinity, so everyone could keep on living in bigger McMansions and hell you might as well throw in a couple of Hummers because with the tax credit it really pays to screw the environment, which by the way is perfectly fine as evidenced by the scientists we've paid off to say as much.

I think the termite is the best analogy yet for these plundering con artists.

[Raksha]

34. I agree...the termite is a great metaphor for Republicans...

you can't even call them "conservatives," because I can't think of a single thing they've conserved or even wanted to--except maybe for feudalism.

[Fovea]

38. When I was studying Soviet history

I was initially amused by the term "capitalist wreckers".

Now it has an odd resonance to me.

Your post paints it in well. Whole levels of wormhole rot pervade into Justice, IRS, FBI, DoD.

Inside, blackwater, caci, diebold, halliburton, unocal, and other larvae chew away at Amecia's reputation and value.

[123infinity]

7. Hey PJ, I'll bend over, you can kiss mine. You and Dennis Miller both did way too many bad drugs

in the 60s and it's all caught up to you.

[Ikonoklast]

10. Dumbass Pundint(sic) Whines For Past That Never Was

Mr. O'Rourke is a fool that has spent his entire life looking backwards in time to find a place where white people ruled the country, women did as they were told, and if you didn't have any money, no one had to pay any attention to you.

Demographics are against him. This just may be the high-water mark of white male privilege in this country.

I guess the man just can't stand for 'a rising tide lifts all boats' bullshit. He wants the to kick a hole in every else's boat, and float away safely by himself.

[LeftinOH]

11. Reagan's "shining city on a hill" was a real as a Hollywood backdrop, and the

"responsibility, knowledge, opportunity, accomplishment, honor, truth and trust" of which O'Rourke writes was NEVER achieved by Republicans.

[crispini]

13. Hahahahhahahaa. OMG that article is SO FUCKING FUNNY.

Sucks to be you, O'Rourke! LOL. What a chowderhead.

[Wickerman]

14. wow, why does a conservative need so many column inches to say

so very little? Oh, yeah, :eyes:

[Marr]

15. These people will never accept the fact that their "philosophy" failed.

They had 28 years and they did not "squander it". They put Conservative ideals into practice across the board-- GW Bush more than anyone else.

Now they're making the same excuse they make about Vietnam and Iraq; that the only problem was mismanagement. No, the problem was that the entire idea was flawed to begin with. Conservative economic policies do not work for anyone but the very very rich. That's what they're designed to do. Surely O'Rourke knows that, and it'd be nice if he could muster the guts to admit it.

The only *real* Conservative value, shameless greed, has been thoroughly promoted and woven through our society by men like O'Rourke for decades now.

They had their moral and economic revolution. It failed utterly. But like all blind ideologues, they're incapable of seeing that and only want to try it again.

[Ganja Ninja]

16. Gee it was all going so well right up until the failed war ...

rampant corruption and economic collapse.:shrug:

[enuegii]

17. P.J. needs to get in his car...

with a bottle of whiskey and a fistfull of powerful narcotics, find himself a deserted, curvy road, and drive like hell.

Just as long as there's no one else in there to squeeze his puny, wrinkled old wing-wang.

[DefenseLawyer]

18. Have another drink P.J.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

[KG]

19. how bitter that kool-aid must taste now.

[loyalkydem]

20. Is

this man still around? God I can't stand him.

[juno jones]

21. PJ is a little boy whinee behinee

I've been ignoring his shit since I was in High School back in the 70's-80's. he was too immature for me then, and he has never changed. Throw him out with the sewage!

[Bucky]

23. If he really thinks the American economy can fall apart that badly that soon....

... PJ doesn't seem to have much faith in the power of the American economy or the strength of the free enterprise system.

[vinylsolution]

25. Just another Reagan-abler who finally....

.... realizes he was lied to.

My heart bleeds for cry-baby millionaires like him - NOT!

[fascisthunter]

27. "...to fix the moral and practical boundaries of government is gone"

Bullshit you delusional dork. You got paid and you are set for life, now shut the fuck up.

[Canuckistanian]

28. You're reaping what you've sowed, PJ

You're like Dr. Frankenstein who is horrified by his own creation.

And now that the villagers have destroyed that monster (we hope), you're looking back fondly on it's creation and wondering what went wrong.

Sucks to be you at any point in time.

[MindPilot]

29. I like him a lot better when he was trying to be as good as Hunter Thomson

PJ, you're no Duke. At this point you would be doing well to try to emulate Denny Miller.

[Batgirl]

30. PJ O'Rourke, bringing on the funny with an embarrassing "you'll be SORRY!" screed.

Some comedy highlights: He's wanting to blame most of the GOP's downfall on the market implosion, which came about because evil libruls pressured those poor conservatives to make bad mortgages available to trashy low class people like PJ's neighbor, "Jim Jerk down the road from me, with all the cars up on blocks in his front yard."

Then he clarifies further who exactly is NOT at fault:
"Anyway, it's no use blaming Wall Street. Blaming Wall Street for being greedy is like scolding defensive linemen for being big and aggressive. The people on Wall Street never claimed to be public servants. They took no oath of office. They're in it for the money. We pay them to be in it for the money. We don't want our retirement accounts to get a 2 percent return."

I think somebody should start collecting all the angry, self-pitying arias being sung by so many conservative assholes since the election, and write them up as a tragic opera.

[mokawanis]

31. That's right PJ, you lost you miserable fuck

Conservatives had their day in the sun and all they did was fuck up the country. Yes, I'm gloating. Kiss my ass, PJ, you fucking rat.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[AndrewP]

35. These Republicant's are not taking their ass kicking well, are they?

Read the editorial and letters section of the Wall Street Journal sometime. It's funny how much whining they are doing their.

They can stick it.

[RandomKoolzip]

36. Yeah, like the South Side of Chicago's the worst fuckin' place on Earth or something.

:eyes:

I live in Chicago. I love Chicago - it's a great city. What the hell's wrong with Hyde Park? Gimme Hyde Park anyday over East Dipshit, Alabama or Fartberg, Texas or Dumbassville, Tennessee. Cities are part of America, too - are they not? Or is it only in the rural areas around Tifton, Georgia (or similarly proudly uneducated environs) that can be called "real" America? I think the nation's voters have had enough of the rural areas of the country buffaloing the rest of the country into political submission. America is tired of the stupid, y'all. Time to join the rest of us here in the 21st Century.

Remember when P.J. used to write for the National Lampoon? Those were the days when - ironically, since it was the supposedly "druggy" seventies - reality seemed to be an attractive place to live for smart people like him. Dude's turned into a fuckin' jerk.

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

37. Sad. Thirty years ago, even fifteen, he was one of the funniest

and smartest writers around. Now just a bitter old alcoholic burnout with delusions of relevance. Go back and read the National Lampoon from the days when you were the editor and mattered. I used to love his stuff but he epically pathetic now.

[MilesColtrane]

39. Since Buckley is now dead, I nominate O'Rourke...

...as the head, preening fuck-nozzle of the Conservative movement.

I hate that guy.