If programming languages were religions

[alfredo]

http://www.aegisub.net/2008/12/if-programming-languages-were-religions.html




C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.

Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.

PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and ostensibly keeps the core idea of the whole thing. Also, the whole concept of "goto hell" was abandoned.

Much more, and comments are good. One comment nailed AppleScript

[CatholicEdHead]

1. I only know Satanism, but working on Humanism

[alfredo]

3. I loved this:

ADA would be Atheism.
After a few projects, you will know there is no God

[Dragonfli]

2. aztec fortran?

[alfredo]

4. What is Basic V?

[htuttle]

5. Oh great -- as if programming languages and religions weren't enough flamebait by themselves

Though I have to admit, Perl IS Voodoo. I had to reformat a data file to submit to the State the other day in record time, and the first thing I reached for was Larry Wall's Foul Abomination...

Papa Legba, come and open the gate....( s/Legba/Wall/g )

[ladjf]

6. If programming languages were religions, they wouldn't work. nt

[alfredo]

8. But they'd be bedecked with gold and jewels

[undeterred]

7. Perl would be Voodoo

- An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

:rofl:

[alfredo]

9. My soul is corrupted and I'm a better man for it.

[Xithras]

10. PERL is an abomination among languages.

The worst job you can give any programmer is requiring them to maintain someone elses PERL code.

The flashbacks..... :argh: