Jesus' General: FEMA Forced Palin to Resign

[meegbear]

Glenn Beck
Patriot

Dear Mr. Beck,

Many people laughed and called you insane, delirious, and "just plain fucking crazy" when you warned us that Obamaslamunistofascists at FEMA were building concentration camps for regular Credulous-Americans like ourselves. But all that laughter is going to stop on July 27th. That's the day FEMA launches National Level Exercise 2009! And yes, it is as sinister as it sounds.

The Arizona Citizen's Militia has all the intelligence on this. According to them:

• The federal government will use the this "to murder everyone who has ever owned a firearm."
  
• Sarah Palin knows about it. That's why she's resigning on the 26th.
  
• DHS Secretary Janet Napalitano announced it in a press conference, declaring: "Anyone exhibiting symptoms is being referred to an isolation room where they can be evaluated by a public health official before proceeding to their destruction."
  

We need you to do something now to stop this from happening. That something is the thing you do best, crying. Yes, we need you to get on your show and cry like you have never cried before. We need your tears to motivate the masses. We need your tears to rust the tracks of the Russian armor hidden in the forests of the Okanogan. We need your tears to wash over the land in a wave of godly destruction, drowning those who cherish reason above faith and the freedom above God's law.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2009/07/fema-forced-palin-to-resign.html

[billyoc]

1. I See Dick People.

[skip fox]

2. WOW!!!! The good General has me at attention, that's for sure.

I hope he knows about how important maintaining pure body fluids is and is ready to take us to the mattresses if need be. We could make genetic cleansing seem like a after-dinner nap. Mass murder like drowsy foreplay. Hitler's ovens like a light prologue to a very dark, unending, nightmare opera.

Right arm!!!

(In the same spirit of irony as the OP.)

[lurky]

3. "Obamaslamunistofascists"

Catchy! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[LynneSin]

4. Say that fast, 5 times in a row right after doing a mega shot of Tequila

I dare ya!

[lurky]

12. I think I might sprain my jaw...

:rofl:

[gratuitous]

5. Only the tears of Glenn Beck can save us now!

Oh, how precarious is the American Empire. Cry like you've never cried before, Glenn! Your country needs you in its hour of greatest peril.

[Milspec]

6. Wow Industrial strength crazy

[Johonny]

7. is this a real joke or just unintentionally very funny?

[Canuckistanian]

11. Jesus's General has been writing letters like this for over 10 years

He's well known for his satirical letters. Go look at some of the letters in his archive, they're hilarious.

[Fading Captain]

8. Gen. JC Christian -- Sasha Baron Cohen's next character

wow.
Too funny.

Heterosexually yours? WTF?

[madrchsod]

9. dam i`ve owned three firearms...guess i`d better join up!

[formercia]

10. Some of the comments are a hoot.

:rofl: