Went to church with the in-laws last weekend

[Bettie]

We do this because it makes MIL happy.

It is a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran church in a tiny Central Wisconsin town.

The minister gave a sermon on how Christians are persecuted in our society. He also talked about people telling "off color" Jesus jokes.

I've never seen evidence of either the persecution or the dirty Jesus jokes, but hey, I must be pretty sheltered.

DH rushed me out of there before I could say anything to the minister...or before he said something he regretted.

So, my question is: Have you guys seen much persecution of Christians lately? Know any Jesus jokes?

I'm so confused.

Religion confuses me.

[YOY]

1. I know some pretty left-wing Lutherans.

And I know freaks that call themselves Christians that care about stuff that is hardly Christian who don't consider the Lutherans (my friends especially) to be Christians.

It's all very cute.

[Ilsa]

7. My late mom's family is Lutheran and they didn't believe in dying.

They believed in hanging on to life no matter how painful and difficult it could be.

And my MIL is also Lutheran, but I don't know if she really knows the difference between them and other denominations. At one time she was involved with a very conservative Missouri Synod church, but didn't know how extremely conservative they were until I told her.

[dysfunctional press]

21. i was raised as a lutheranin a missouri synod congregation in sub-urban chicago...

it's a fairly republican area, and i went to lutheran schools from K-12...our particular congregation, and especially the very active "youth league" seemed to be fairly liberal, at least for the area and the times, i suppose. and although i'vegiven up totally on the whole theology thing- my morals and values were predominantly shaped by my lutheran upbringing. :shrug:

[Bettie]

13. The WI Synod doesn't consider other Lutherans to be "real"

Christians.

At my in-laws' 50th Anniversary, my MIL wanted all of her grandchildren to sing at the church service. Well, it was OK except that one of the nephews had been baptized at a Missouri Synod Lutheran church so he wasn't going to be allowed to go up and sing with the others.

They gave in and let the kid sing when my FIL suggested that perhaps he should stop donating money to them.

They are very weird.

[MrsBrady]

2. I see people making fun of christians....Jesus, not so much. n/t

[Ilsa]

3. Oh yeah, the evangelicals feel persecuted about not getting to

brainwash the kids in school, not being allowed to set up a hostile work environment, etc. Oh wait, alot of legislatures ARE allowing this.

[LaurenG]

4. Sure, I've seen the Jesus jokes

the YMCA picture comes to mind. I have not seen persecution of Christians though, I think they might be projecting. I was raised a Methodist/Presbyterian and spent some time in an Assembly of God Church having the crap scared out of me. I'm sure presecution happens but it's mostly the "Christians" doing the persecuting. This opinion is of course just personal experience though.

[Kerrytravelers]

5. Didn't you know? It's hard working being in the 75%+ majority of this country.

It is even harder if, in addition to being a Christian, you're also white, straight and male. That is one tough combo!

[John Q. Citizen]

6. My favorite Jesus joke is where

Jesus and St. Paul are playing golf.

St. Paul tees off and the ball goes out long and slices a little into the ruff near the green.

Jesus tees off and the ball goes long and wide and wedges up in the branches of a tall tree. Suddenly, a squirrel runs in from a branch and dislodges the ball from where it was stuck and it falls to the ground. At that point a rabbit comes bounding along the ground, bats the ball a few times and the ball finally stops a couple of feet from the hole.

St. Paul turn to Jesus and ask, "Are you gonna play golf, or are you just gonna mess around?"

[panader0]

22. Jesus and Moses went golfing too........

When they got to a water hole, Moses used a wood and cleared the water. Jesus selected a five iron,telling Moses "If Sam Snead can do it, I can do it." The ball landed in the water, and after much pleading from Jesus, Moses parted the water so Jesus could retrieve his ball. Again he tried a five iron, saying "If Sam Snead can do it, I can do it." Moses warned him that he wasn't going to part the water this time. The ball landed in the water again. So Jesus walked out on the water looking for his ball. Just then another group of golfers walked up, and, seeing Jesus on the water, said to Moses "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?"
Moses answered, "He knows he's Jesus Christ, he thinks he's Sam Snead."

[John Q. Citizen]

27. That's a good one too!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

8. The religion that feels persecuted together, stays together.

[CurtEastPoint]

9. So one day....

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.

"This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.

"Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.

"Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

[stlsaxman]

26. I heard it- "an old lady emerges from the crowd with a boulder and WHAM!... Jesus stood stunned...

shaking his head and says- "Y'know, Mom, sometimes you really piss me off!"

:rofl:

[TreasonousBastard]

10. Lucky you, finding a Wisconsin Synod church...

there aren't that many of them, but they are somewhat of an embarassment. It was the Missouri Synod that got me to give up Lutheranism, and Wisconsin is six steps to the right of them.

Perk up. Religion often confuses the religious even more.

[Bettie]

15. DH was born into it, unfortunately!

We attend when we visit his parents because it makes his mother happy and doesn't harm us.

It does, however, lead to some spirited conversations in the car on the way home!

DH has given up Lutherhanism and organized religion. I gave it up long ago myself.

[peace13]

11. I see Christians telling everyone else how to live!

.....and it is very tiresome.

[guitar man]

12. well, there's this

http://www.jesusdressup.com/number2.html

[Bettie]

17. OK.....twisted, but funny

that's all.

edited for spelling in subject line. I don't think twusted is a word.

[HopeHoops]

14. The only thing "off color" about Jesus is when the picture shows him blond with blue eyes!

We obviously don't know exactly what he looked like, but THAT WASN'T IT!

[Bettie]

16. You mean he DIDN'T look like a 14th century Frenchman?

Great, next thing you'll say is that "god" isn't an old white guy in a long robe! :)

[HopeHoops]

23. Actually, GOD looks like Elvis.

He hangs out at the 7-11 with him and Jesus.

[Grins]

18. My lawyer...

My lawyer is Jewish and loves jokes about both. I'm a (lapsed, permanently lapsed) Catholic and I love jokes about Catholics. Go figure.

[Vinnie From Indy]

19. "Pontius Pilate & The Nail Drivin' Five"

That was the name of one of our intramural b-ball teams in high school. It was a Catholic high school. While many of the teachers and other adults were not amused, it used to crack up the students when intramural results were read to the entire school during homeroom announcements.

[Gman2]

20. A couple'a aecetics were enjoying getting stoned in ancient Israel,

when the crowd was reduced to throwing peagravel.The aecetics asked Jesus for a miracle. They became confused when Jesus asked, would the father give a man a stone, when he asks for bread? The irritated Aecetics tell Jesus to hand over the friggin dayold bread. It'll do.

[pipi_k]

24. Actually, I did persecute some Christians last week

The black bears get pretty hungry this time of year, so I had to go into town and set a trap for some Christians at a Missouri Synod Church. Gotta hand it to them...once they figured out what was about to happen, they fought like devils....oops....hee hee....and things got a little noisy here for a while, but at least the bears are fed and happy. :7


Aside from that, I haven't heard about any other cases of Christian Persecution.


Off color Jesus jokes...haven't heard any lately, but it's sort of funny that should be mentioned. I've been thinking of writing one of those "Off-color Jesus Jokes for Dummies" books. Maybe you can get your in-laws' minister to compile a list of the best ones he's heard and email it to me...

:)

[Bluenorthwest]

25. Jesus told jokes in which the Christians are the punch line.

For example, Jesus told his followers that they would be mocked and even persecuted for following him, and he commanded that they rejoice when such things occur. But the 'followers' do not rejoice, they whine, thus showing that they are following someone else. A pretty good joke actually. This minister, he is rejecting that teaching of Jesus, as do most on DU. And that is funny stuff. And the joke's on them.

[Gman2]

28. Can you rejoice WHILE you beat the fuck outta your persecutors?