Alabama Supreme Court has upheld a state statute prohibiting masturbation by artificial means.

[Hawaii Hiker]

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/280303

But feel free to purchase all the guns you want, just no sex toys...

Isn't Alabama the state w/the judge (Roy Moore?) who disobeyed a federal order to remove the 10 Commandments from his court-room...

:banghead:

[DBoon]

1. because dildoes are an affront to Southern Manhood?

:hide:

[Mz Pip]

4. Give me a dildo

over the likes of Jeff Sessions any day.

[3waygeek]

25. How can you tell the difference? n/t

[abq e streeter]

34. Zing---good one!

:rofl:

[Ikonoklast]

46. One needs batteries installed to make it perform correctly.

The other is a sex toy.

[47of74]

2. Sure is

But I believe Judge Penis Pump was from Oklahoma, so he'd be in even more trouble if he had been a judge in that state.

[PDJane]

3. I'm convinced that if these folks weren't so obsessed

With what other people do with their bodies and each other in the privacy of their own homes, things that matter might get fixed faster.....like the penchant for permanent war and the secret government.

What on earth is wrong with these people? Never mind, rhetorical question.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. All I can say ...

Thank God I live in California!

Ugh.

[Xicano]

14. CaliforniaPeggy I am with you

I am so glad I live here.


Peace,
Xicano

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. yes INDEED.

:hug:

[Joe the Liberal]

6. Republicans are the American version of the Taliban......

this is just more evidence of that.

[BolivarianHero]

56. True that...

But Alabama "Democrats" controlled both chambers when the sex toy ban initially came to effect.

[tomm2thumbs]

7. if the dildo shot bullets it would be legal -

would give new meaning to videos where you hear go ahead, shoot!! shoot!!!

[dixiegrrrrl]

8. Make a dildo shaped gun. Or gun shaped dildo.

Folks won't know whether to shit or go blind. So to speak.

[TexasObserver]

13. What about the 2nd amendment right to keep and bear phallic symbols?

[BlooInBloo]

9. Hm. The 'ol weiner'll get chafed if you don't use something artificial....

Of course theirs might be too small, and finish too quickly for that to be an issue.

[stuball111]

10. What about them folks with no arms?

Isn't that kinda... discriminatory?

[Robb]

19. It would be the most entertaining lawsuit of the year, for certain. nt

[krispos42]

20. There's the loophole... it's discriminatory against the armless

There's no provision for the physically handicapped! ADA! ADA!

[alfredo]

11. An article on masturbation in the "Digital Journal." Hmmmmm

[TexasObserver]

12. Dammit. Now, I'll have to change my trip itinerary.

[BlooInBloo]

16. Porn is artificial.

[A HERETIC I AM]

17. In other news, Cantelope and Watermelon sales skyrocket. n/t

[krispos42]

21. Ouch!

*winces*

[sakabatou]

18. *facepalm*

[snagglepuss]

22. I thought this was a joke thread. Late night comics ought to be sending the

judge cash for giving them such priceless material.


:wtf:

[kenny blankenship]

23. Which is some very bad news for Alabama's chickens.

[orleans]

24. wow--i thought people in alabama had a right to privacy. guess not. n/t

[retread]

26. Wonder where the "quit bashing the South" posters are today? n/t

[dixiegrrrrl]

27. Those of us who have to live with the stupidity in this state don't mind bashing it.

You ought to hear us when we read the newspapers.

btw...Judge Roy Moore IS talking about running for Govrnor.

Our Governor is quietly talking about.......yep, 2012.

[cwydro]

35. Well, if you take the time to click on the link provided

you will see that it is not just the south with these outmoded laws...and ANY state with such archaic laws leaves itself open to, if not bashing, at least some good old-fashioned ridicule.

[retread]

39. There you are. n/t

[Rockholm]

63. Their dialup doesn't work on Sundays

[dysfunctional press]

28. would that include wooden dildoes...?

is wood considered "artificial"?

[lysosome]

29. I think they did ban guns, and perhaps nascar and high def TV

'Alabama considers unlawful the sale of “any device designed—primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”'
I'm just saying the argument could be made.

[Taitertots]

30. Designed primarily

Now for my new line of useful dildos. Otherwise known as dildos with a primary design for other uses.

The penis shaped ladle, the penis shaped remote, the penis shaped tongue scraper, the penis shaped beer coozie, the penis shaped prosthetic arm, and the penis shaped gavel to honor the judge.

[Gabi Hayes]

31. for sale in alabama, bargain prices, because of the huge oversupply:

with free attachments!

[Orsino]

32. They've outlawed Fox News???

Good news.

[Rex]

33. Impossible, look at the dildoes sitting on the Alabama bench.

Are they all going to voluntarily quit, now that they have made it illegal for their own form of mental masturbation?

[retread]

36. Brings to mind the late, great and sorely missed Molly Ivins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUl6x1YXpg

[DailyGrind51]

37. Just how do they enforce the statute?

[Gabi Hayes]

42. very stiff penile-ties

[Zix]

38. Ridiculous!!! What possible justification?

[kenny blankenship]

40. It's a protectionist measure sponsored by the local cucumber and poultry industries

Alabama is an ol' time agricultural state. They don't need any of your yankee new fangled contraptions taking away business from home-grown suppliers.

[Zix]

41. Oh.

I didn't really want to know that.

[JackDragna]

43. When dildos are outlawed...

..oh, you know it ends. :)

[RainDog]

44. You couldn't pay me to live in the deep south

...and I'm originally from the south.

I hate it.

They make me ashamed to know that they're Americans.

The one stipulation I made when I had kids is that I did not want them to grow up in the south. They don't deserve to live among that much rank stupidity.

[Nikki Stone1]

45. Here's our chance to make MILLIONS, DUers! Black market dildos! Who's with me?

We'd need a drop off point, somewhere on the Florida panhandle, at the border.

[JackDragna]

48. I am!

We'll become the Al Capones of the self-gratification racket in Alabama.

[TheWraith]

53. Count me in...

...As soon as I figure out whether this means I should describe myself as a "Cocksman."

[imdjh]

47. I wonder if "pocket pussy" is actually in the transcripts.

[OneGrassRoot]

49. What about pumps? Are they legal for the dudes?

Probably. :eyes:

I was born in Alabama and still have relatives there, so I feel it within my right to bash the general mentality of the citizenry which allows such rulings.

:puke:

[MrScorpio]

50. All natural masturbation in the Alabam...

Fingers and toes only

[boston bean]

51. how about getting an erection with the help of viagra???? is that legal? nt

[eShirl]

52. are organic fruits and vegetables natural enough for them?

[DLnyc]

54. But it's still legal in Alabama to go through life with your head up your ass.

Go figure.

[RagAss]

59. LOL !

[U4ikLefty]

55. I'm sure there is "stiff opposition" to this ruling. n/t

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

57. Alabama...

[hootinholler]

58. Does this mean they are soft on crime?

I mean there goes the Alabama penile system.

:shrug:

-Hoot

[pipi_k]

60. And don't you DARE stand too close

to your washing machine during the spin cycle!!!!!

[immoderate]

61. Not everyone equates guns with sex.

There is no parity here. There are some states where the legislators are extremely sexually repressed (as opposed to the normal sexual repression of most legislatures) and they pass legislation to reflect that.

The two things are not related, and to do so smacks of demagoguery. I'll bet it's still easier to buy a dildo than a gun in most states. But if you go deep into Jesusland you'll come across some repressive blue laws.

--imm

[Rockholm]

62. No Fleshlite?