The Grinch who Stole DU Day .... Much Love Ted Geisel

[Botany]

Every DUer in DUville Liked DU day a lot…
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of DUville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated DU! The whole DU season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on DU Day Eve, hating the DUers,
Staring down from his right wing cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every DUer down in DUville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
“And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is a DU holiday! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop DUers happy day from coming!”
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the DU girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the DUers, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on DU-pudding, and rare DU-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!
Every DUer down in Duville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with DU bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the DUers would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this DU Sing,
The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole DU thing!”
“Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this DU day from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick a Skinner Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!”
“With this coat and this hat, I look just look like Skinner Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…” The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the DUers Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the DUers were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Skinner could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little DU stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
I Macs, mother jones' rags. and bottles of booze that came in mags
Keyboards, sex toys, and plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the DU feast!
He took the DU-pudding! He took the DU beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of DU-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Grinch, “I will stuff up the liberal tree!”
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small DUer!
A little D.U.er Who, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny DU daughter,
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, “Right winger, why,”
“Why are you taking our DU tree? WHY?”
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake guy lied,
“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”
“So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.”
“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her DU head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.

All the DUer, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
“PoohPooh to the DUs!” he was grinchishly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no DU day is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the DUers down in DUville will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at DUville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every DUer down in DUville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped DU day from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came with out liberals It came without tags!”
“It came without a good health care bill or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe DU,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe DU …perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well…in DUville they say,
That the Grinch’s small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the liberal toys! And the food for the DU feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the DU beast!

[Raine]

1. Wow ... TERRIFIC

I LOVE Dr. Suess ... this is GREAT! :applause:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. You have melded the poem with DU'isms perfectly!

I am in awe.

Thank you so much for this inspired poem!

K&R

:toast:

[Botany]

4. Cut n paste is my friend

Ted did 99.9% of the work.

[BrklynLiberal]

3. GREAT post!! Thanks...

:thumbsup: :hi:

[rwheeler31]

5. Beautiful