NEWSFLASH: White Arizona citizens avoiding the sun. SPF 50 sunscreen sales skyrocket!

[AnArmyVeteran]

FEAR STRIKES ARIZONA WHITES!

Whites in Arizona are avoiding the sun at all costs to avoid getting a tan.

Sunscreen lotion sales are going through the roof.

Sales of self-tanning lotions in Arizona have plummeted.

Arizonians (Arizonites?) are staying in the shade or waiting until dark to go out.

Even white people are afraid they aren't 'white' enough, so they are getting Michael Jackson bleach jobs.

[nosmokes]

1. this should get a DUzy and a rec to the Onion.

thanks for the laugh!

[Odin2005]

2. DUzy!

[hlthe2b]

3. Too late for many of those old gravely-voiced, leathery-skinned,

decades-long snow birds, I'm afraid. Between the sun and the cigs, they are not going to return to their "whiter shade of pale," no matter how much weed they smoke... :evilgrin:

[kenny blankenship]

4. I would guess John Boehner has canceled any appearances he had scheduled for Arizona

With his natural pigmentation, he has to play it safe now.

[TheCowsCameHome]

9. He won't get within 100 miles of the border, nor will JD Haystack.

[Bobbieo]

11. If you meam J.D. Hayworth - he lives in AZ and is here right now campaining

for McCain's seat.

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. Yeah, that's him - the Bronze Elephant.

I wonder if he'll need to carry papers...........

[AnArmyVeteran]

13. Wouldn't that be something if he became senator & was too afraid of entering his state?

[BlooInBloo]

5. It's only a matter of time until they come out with "whiting lotion".

Ad line: "Just to be sure.".

[AnArmyVeteran]

6. We need to make a cartoon with a white person bathing in bleach.

I wish I could draw. But a cartoon with a white person sitting in a bath with bleach bottles all around him, as he read a newspaper headline saying "All darker skinned people to be asked for their papers" would drive home the point.

[BlueIris]

18. DUzy! nt

[TheCowsCameHome]

7. Bleaching salons will be the hot new business opportunity in AZ

[madinmaryland]

8. Many tanning salons are reporting at least a 90% drop in business.

[Bluebear]

10. 'they are getting Michael Jackson bleach jobs' - they are getting vitiligo?

[a la izquierda]

14. George Hamilton runs for the border...

shrieking madly.

[AnArmyVeteran]

15. He's the original 'tan man' and a cool actor...

[a la izquierda]

19. I'm just teasing...

I find him hysterical, actually. It's the absurdity of it all.

[AnArmyVeteran]

20. I didn't take your comment wrong at all. I knew what you were saying. Cool stuff...

[pipi_k]

16. Just wondering if they're also seeing an increase in sales of

hair bleaching/blonding kits and blue-tinted contact lenses...

[AnArmyVeteran]

17. LOL, blue tinted contact lenses must be very popular!

[Rex]

21. For a brief second, I actually believed this to be true.

But it will become true then cops start rounding up people over 'reasons other than' and proclaim it to be under the new law.

[Greg K]

22. Arizonans. nm