I will answer all responses to this OP with bad machine translation

[Bonobo]

I am a translator. For the last 10 years of more, our salaries have remained stagnant or even decreased as machine translation takes over.

To highlight the importance of human translators in this world, I will answer all responses with bad machine back translations of what you post here.

There is a hilarious machine back translator that you can try out at the below link, or just type your response and I will run it for you.

Very funny, I promise. Try it out.

http://www.conveythis.com/translation.php

[Skittles]

1. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN TRANSLATION

[Bonobo]

3. "I translated his ass kicked"

[G_j]

34. what kind of people like health food?

oops, wrong place

[Bonobo]

41. "If a person's health and nutrition?"

[DJ13]

2. Why dont we have real pensions anymore?

[Bonobo]

4. "Why true retirement?"

[pinboy3niner]

5. Why are we here? What is the meaning of the universe? nt

[Bonobo]

8. Fail. I think your verbiage is too precise.

I got the same statement returned!

[jp11]

6. To find your skill book goto the left side of the screen, find the icon that looks like a safe.

Click it and you see a list of your assets, by location.

[Bonobo]

9. The book on the left, the icon that looks like a safe place, the screen skills.

To see the web pages listed property.

[JHB]

7. What language(s) do you translate?

The funnybone looks forward to the machine mangling of the subject line.

The rest of me knows enough about translating to appreciate the value of good translation and backs your point up 100%.

[Bonobo]

10. What language (s) conversion how do you do?

Funnybone To change the name of the device, but the other players know that the proper translation, and determine the value of the property once again 100 percent.


>I translate Japanese to English

[JHB]

Sugoi!

Trying to decipher some articles and manga with only some beginner classes and a stack of dictionaries and kanji guides drilled in the value of good, knowledgeable, subtle translation very, very deeply.

[Bonobo]

40. Good for you! Ganbare! nt

[HughMoran]

11. I'm Gumby, damnit!

[Bonobo]

12. "I Gambia, bad!"

[HughMoran]

16. lol

[Spazito]

13. Try this one!

"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. "

[Bonobo]

17. It can only be an improvement. Here goes:

"He said: "Putin rearing his head into U.S. airspace, because you go?" This is Alaska."

[Spazito]

18. LOL, an improvement indeed!

:rofl:

[Fumesucker]

14. We can haz renewable energie naow?

[Fumesucker]

15. Here's a good one for ya..

The Run-on Sentence is a commonly used literary device, in some cases going so far as to take up very large spaces the amount of a whole paragraph, continuing on for a very long while without any sign of a exclamation point, question mark, or even a simple period to close it off and begin a new sentence, usually containing a large mass of commas and occasionally semicolons in their places, and going very far on beyond any point of real usefulness, and then some, continuing much further than needed, which is like this entire introductory paragraph for the reason that there are no full stops, (known as periods to some people) in this entire sentence—this being, of course, for the sole purpose of making this sentence long enough to be in extremely bad taste and seem like it is never going to end, which, of course, is almost true, because even though this sentence has not stopped yet it is very likely to stop in the future, for even a run-on sentence such as this one is not very likely to have an infinite number of words, although it can have such a large amount of words that nobody in their right mind would actually want to read the entire thing, unless they found it comical or interesting, for the simple reason that it is very, very long, long enough, in fact, to take up the entire page when written in a reasonably large font, its length being its sole claim to fame, for the reason that sentences do not normally go on to such a length; while run-on sentences can be as long as this one, or even longer, without any sign of stopping, and in complete absence of the kind of punctuation that would usually end every sentence, because one of the most fundamental rules of proper sentence structure, namely that sentences have to be of a reasonable length and have a coherent structure, is being completely ignored in run-on sentences, which is the reason why most teachers forbid run-on sentences in essays and papers, as they are disruptive and confusing, and even a single run-on sentence can be so long as to make the essay much longer than it would normally be, without adding any content, because almost all run-on sentences lose focus after a point and just become a sequence of random ramblings, which, because they lack proper termination, can last for a very long period of time, but as said above, all run-on sentences must eventually end because they cannot have an infinite number of words, though the longer they get, the less effort needs to be put into them and at this point I could probably say anything I want and nobody in their right mind would actually read far enough to tell that I am getting completely off topic and should probably stop now, but I won't, the reason being that this being a run-on sentence it is not entirely necessary for me to be on topic or even remotely related to whatever I said to begin with; a run-on sentence in its entirety can be one insanely long piece of work, however usually they are created by mistakes by some student who understands nothing of the beauty of the English language and its grammatical tenets.

[Bonobo]

19. There is a 250 character limit, but here is the first part.

"Unit work program has been widely used in some cases literature, it can be meaningless Zou contact, the problem is very large size of the entire mien even happy chickens and Zhang Dangshi"

[Fumesucker]

26. Yeah, I saw that after I posted.. Here's some Valley Girl Speak..

Original text:

"Like, I'm so sure. If you don't even know how to talk like a valley girl you totally have to learn. Duh. It came from Southern California and is lovingly known as "Valspeak.""

...30 translations later we get:

"Know. If you do not know what to talk to girls in the pool How do you know. De. Southern California, no one "is best known as rolling."

[Bonobo]

29. Oh! That is good!

[flvegan]

20. Hey Bonobo, let's talk about Japanese whaling.

:rofl:

Sorry, couldn't resist.

:rofl:

[Bonobo]

23. "Application Hey, let's talk about the Japanese."

Fivegan, Get off my back. Don't you have any Peta-haters to terrorize?

}(

[flvegan]

37. LOL

Glad you took that the right way.

[704wipes]

21. All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years

"All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." --Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

try that

[Bonobo]

24. "All enemies in front of me all these years, the years of my enemies. " nt

[johnaries]

22. Can entropy be reversed?

As all Asimov fans now, the proper response is "insufficient data at this time for a meaningful answer".

[Bonobo]

25. Entropy will ask?

Asimov, because all the fans, the correct answer: "good and constructive response.

[johnaries]

30. As the creator of the Positronic Brain and the 3 Laws of Robotics,

Asimov must be rolling over in his grave at that one.

[Fumesucker]

35. No, the proper response is..

"Let there be light."..

[Codeine]

27. Hee hee! I'm running Cure lyrics through it.

What a hoot!

"Let your hands shake, and I love milk.
Similarly, the blue windows and the floors."

"I would like to say sorry' if you think you change your mind,
but I know what I am saying that the time is too harsh."

:rofl:

[AsahinaKimi]

28. I have been in chat rooms where people try to use BABLEFISH

IT is horrible for translating Japanese to English.

example:
Katarogu o mimashita sore kara zubon kaimashita:
カタログおみましたそれからずぼんかいました。

Bablefish translator:
That the catalog you saw you did not drive the it is applied

Human
Translation: I looked at the Catalog and I bought a pair of slacks/pants


**note: this is just using hiragana only:
かたろぐ お みました それ から ずぼん かいました
bablefish:
That the one you saw you did not drive the it is applied

[Bonobo]

39. "It was translated from Japanese into English is too bad."

Oddly enough, when I plugged the Japanese sentence into this application, I got (perplexingly):

"ま お み posts タ グ それし ロ ら か ん か ぼ show my horse feces assistant."


>Yeah, fortunately that is why I am still in business.

[AsahinaKimi]

49. nan desu ka?

" horse feces assistant" ?? How could that be? Is that a joke?

[Bonobo]

50. I have no idea. The application is meant to accept English, but I dropped your Japanese

phrase in there.

Perhaps it took the ASCII/JIS equivalents and played with them?

No joke. That is what I got. Try yourself.

まったくわけわからん。

[AsahinaKimi]

56. hehe, okay take your word for it..

But wow, talk about a strange response from a translator ..
ちょっとへなね!!!
chotto hena ne!!!!!

[JHB]

31. "All your bases are belong to us!"

(classic early video game bad translation)

[Bonobo]

33. It failed (i.e. remained the same).

Probably shouldn't start with an ALREADY bad translation.

[Fumesucker]

36. Now that is funny... n/t

[Odin2005]

32. LOL, thannks, that is hilarious!

[Bonobo]

38. "Lol, the Uruguay round again, this is fun!"

[IDemo]

42. No puedo entender una palabra

[Wednesdays]

43. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Back in the mid-1970's, my cousin was an early pioneer of computer A.I., and tried to figure out how to develop English syntax so a computer could "understand" English sentences. He came across a machine translation, said to be English-Russian then Russian-English, of "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Translation: "The ghost is agreeable, but the meat is soft."

:rofl:

[Waiting For Everyman]

44. "Drill, baby, drill!"

10 translations= "More emotional, shake".

50 translations= "There is a lot more".

[pinboy3niner]

45. Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

It can only be attributable to human error.

Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

[Heywood J]

46. "When in the domain of the automatic rifle"...

Got that one from Babelfish years ago for "on our web site".

I took a 2006 attack ad and popped it in.

Ron costs no money, began to transitional justice. This is true. Their money for cancer research, money, Ron Vietnamese prostitutes type testing sex. Their hearts to make money, and Ron has to spend money to learn the masturbation habits of old. Ron tax girls, including pornographic movies, and explore the appearance of their genitals. Ron payments, not soldiers.

[xocet]

47. "Kick and recommend!"

"Kick and recommend!"
(10 Translations later: "I do not recommend!")
(20 Translations later: "I do not recommend!")
(30 Translations later: "Not recommended!")
(40 Translations later: "Recommended!")
(50 Translations later: "I recommend!")
(56 Translations later: "Our suggestions!")

"Kicked and recommended!"
(10 Translations later: "Kick and recommend!")
(20 Translations later: "Kick and recommend!")
(30 Translations later: "Running back and recommend it!")
(40 Translations later: "Running back and check!")
(50 Translations later: "Bounced back and watch!")
(56 Translations later: "Ostrich bounce and see!")

"Will kick and recommend!"
(10 Translations later: "And personal skills!")
(20 Translations later: "And people skills!")
(30 Translations later: "Skilled people?")
(40 Translations later: "Shortage of skilled workers?")
(50 Translations later: "The lack of skilled workers?")
(56 Translations later: "Absence of workforce!")

(From http://www.conveythis.com/translation.php)

---

I prefer machine story-telling: i.e., (http://ubu.artmob.ca/text/racter/racter_policemansbeard.pdf)

The Policeman's Beard is Half-Constructed (1984)
(page 14)
...
DIALOG BETWEEN RICHARD AND BUCKINGHAM

RICHARD. A week is obscurely like a night.

BUCKINGHAM. My Lord, chicken is like lamb.

RICHARD. Yet weeks can be killed as can chicken.

BUCKINGHAM. Tis true, my Liege, yet ambiguities adorn
our pain as ambiguities broaden our issues.

RICHARD. Sweet Buckingham, thy commitment, decorated
with Joy, begins to speak briskly
to my distress. Spy me slaughter my
distress tho' it take a day.

BUCKINGHAM. Noble King, you chant weeks can be
slaughtered and yet assassinating chicken will not broaden our
question.

RICHARD. Kinsman, you croon truth.
...

[MineralMan]

48. Back when I was selling mineral specimens to collectors a

few years ago, I did a lot of business internationally. I can deal with Russian, French, and Spanish, but other languages are something else. I made a lot of use of online translators to read correspondence, and sometimes to send replies.

What I discovered was that back translation helped me see where I needed to rephrase my English text to get a good translation. I finally managed to come up with a working strategy, and that was to write everything in simple declarative sentences, using a pretty basic vocabulary set. Once I started writing all copy for machine translation that way, the back translations started coming out fine.

I even got compliments a few times on my skills in the other languages, even ones I didn't know at all. It was an interesting process.

These days, I don't have the need to do that.

[salguine]

51. One day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.

[Bonobo]

55. "In a rainy day, you rust, all right street."

[JonLP24]

52. LOL

I typed it, "I wish I had more money." And it came back, "Unfortunately, I have a lot of money."

:rofl:

[Bluenorthwest]

53. After one very unsettling reading, I have 'translators'

read for English in other idioms. Yes, English. Because even in your own language, you can wind up saying things you did not mean to say, simply by taking those words to another English speaking nation. Machines would never catch the things that might go wrong. Ever.

[Javaman]

54. I, for one, welcome our new translator overlords. nt

[pinboy3niner]

57. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Here's looking at you, kid.

You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

You must remember this / A kiss is still a kiss / A sigh is just a sigh / The fundamental things apply / As time goes by. / And when two lovers woo, / They still say, "I love you" / On that you can rely / No matter what the future brings-...

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.

But it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.


(My Post #45, above, consists of quotes from HAL in "2001: A Space Odyssey." Initially, I thought a machine translating a machine might be interesting. On second thought, HAL's language is probably too precise to yield much. So I wondered how other classic movie quotes from humans might be translated.)

[geardaddy]

58. It's fun to put idioms in there.

"It's raining cats and dogs"

...10 translations later we get:

"Rain buckets as lyet