Mark Morford: Thank God global warming is a hoax

[marmar]

from the San Francisco Chronicle:




I mean, right? You know? Because gosh Jesus in angry apocalyptic heaven, wouldn't it be just terrible if it were all true?

Wouldn't it be horrible if all this stunning, insanely mounting, irrefutable evidence -- death, floods, fires, heat waves, the worst this and the most violent that in 1,000 years -- were some sort of surefire, cumulative sign that we have, if not directly caused, then wildly accelerated and amplified the imminent implosion of this planet?

But we didn't! And we haven't! And we aren't! I mean, whew.

I am delighted to remember that hardcore science has lied, misguided, misnomered and whatever else weird science does to confuse the world about the real impact humanity has had on global ecosystems. All those thousands of highly trained scientists educated at the finest universities, learning the most difficult and fraught information of our age, all in universal agreement that humankind's actions directly affect climate change, and they are all totally full of it because they are clearly in cahoots with Nazi Liberal Jesus, the solar panel manufacturers and the hippies who want me to compost my KFC Double Down wrapper.

I am delighted to be reassured by the fringe right wing that the piles of dead bodies, millions of lost homes, and even the very sun itself are part of a vast conspiracy, a plot to form an evil one-world government, a lefty liberal charade even in places that don't understand or care what the hell a liberal is. See? Do you understand how powerful the lie? Amazing.

Because otherwise, wow, what sort of hell is this? Pakistan, Russia, China, Greenland, Niger and on and on it goes. Unprecedented heat waves, scorched crops, giant icebergs, savage droughts, dire emergencies, thousands dead here and 10,000 more over there and nothing like these events in the history of the world, ever. ............(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/08/18/notes081810.DTL

[FirstLight]

1. what's sad is that

this article really is preaching to the choir.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything he said, think he hit the nail on the head.
..but would it matter if we cut and pasted this to every denier's door?
no, they would probably even take it seriously and miss the irony completely.

we. are. so.screwn.

anybody got a raft? the oceans are coming up fast, man....

[Rage for Order]

2. Yes, we're all gonna die

So we'd better hurry up and drastically raise taxes on people driving to work and heating/cooling their homes before we have a viable alternative in place. The wealthy and powerful will tell us it's for our own good, all while they rake in hundreds of millions (billions?) of dollars in profits from their newly created carbon credit exchange.

[BeFree]

3. heh

If the republicans hadn't screwed up everything, beginning with Reagan, and instead had adopted just half of what Carter proposed, you wouldn't be complaining now, would you?