Charitable giving of the third kind

[Stinky The Clown]

Charitable giving of the first kind is writing a check to one the national or regional charities. Your canceled check is your proof to get your tax deduction.

Charitable giving of the the second kind is the donation of goods, usually used, but sometimes new, to one of the truck charities that pick up bags of cast-offs from your front porch or tow a car from your driveway. They leave a receipt with a blank space for you to lie to IRS with respect to the value of your cast-offs.

Charitable giving of the third kind takes work. And it requires that you touch people. We first learned of this quite some years ago, when we married and blended our households. We had two or three or four of things we need only as single examples.

Some of the duplicates were even brand new. Clothes and furniture and small kitchen appliances and bedding and baby clothes and lawn care machines and much more. I had recently done a pro bono job for a church operated soup kitchen in Baltimore's Sandtown-Winchester neighborhood. I called my friend the pastor and told him what we had and asked if he knew anyone who could use such stuff.

"But Stinky," he said, "I can't give you a tax deduction." I told him a hug would be better and would mean more.

On the day agreed, we showed up at his church. A man the size of Michael Oher greeted us. He said he'd watch our car while we delivered the goods. We brought in our cast offs and, in the basement church hall were greeted by the people chosen by my pal the pastor to get the goods. The best part was the 12 month pregnant young woman with her equally pregnant mother who took all the baby clothes we had, even the unused stuff from the 1970s. Sweaters, sleepers, and blanket sets never go out of style, do they? Their hugs were as genuine as and I was ever given. I can feel them to this day.

Each item was exchanged for a hug. And that included the hug from the young guy who was starting a landscaping business and would fix up the old gas mower and noisy two stroke string trimmer that hadn't run in years.

That was way up there on our list of Great Days. We still get an occasional call, and a reliable Christmas card from a few of the people we met that day.

My Pal The Pastor succumbed to cancer a few years ago.

We're again looking to do some Giving Of The Third Kind. One of our tenants is a school secretary at a not the best kind of neighborhood school. The plan is for her to find us a few kids who want to do well in school but can't afford the bigger-than-last-years' school supplies list. Its about 50 or 60 bucks a kid in her middle school. We're going to give enough to get them back to school with what they need to help them learn.

The definition of Charitable Giving of the Third Kind is that you have to touch the other person. You have to talk to them. You have to respect them. Hopefully you'll be as lucky as we've been, and you'll get to like them. And they, you.

But there's no tax deduction.

[Demeter]

1. Rec +1000

[aquart]

2. I know.

I'm about to give my old printers to the two boys who assist the super for my building. They knocked on my door asking if they could print out GED applications on my printer as they didn't have one. I've got two I no longer use sitting at my mom's. It will be so lovely to see them in appreciative hands.

[ThomCat]

3. Helping people, person to person, is the best!

If you have ever really given volunteering a chance, I hope you enjoyed it. I always thought it was the best hobby.

It's dirty and messy. You work your ass off. Depending on where you volunteer, you might not know what you will be doing today, or this week. Or maybe your work will be monotonously the same. But the people volunteer with will probably be wonderful people, and the people you help will almost always be very kind people who really need you and appreciate everything you do.

(Okay, so some of the people you help really resent needing help so badly, and resent being so needy. They sometimes take it out on volunteers verbally and hate us for it. But that's okay too so long as it's only verbal and harmless. We all understand that people need to vent. We all need to vent sometimes. Giving people who are the most helpless, defenseless and needy someone to safely vent to can be part of the volunteer work. Point them to the volunteer with the thickest skin and smile. That makes people feel better too. We can all hug and talk about it afterward.) :)

Now that I can't physically do the different types of volunteer work any more I really miss it. I miss the people. I miss the work. I miss knowing that it was more directly meaningful than anything I could get a corporate paycheck for doing.

Once people know that you do volunteer work, and enjoy it, you will find contacts to interesting volunteer work in surprising places. People you meet through co-workers, or even through clients, or through friends, or through social groups, or through friends of friends who have heard of you will tell you about some cool place that has an event or a project and needs volunteers. From there you can end up volunteering for a day, or a weekend, or a season, or for years, and it can be an incredible experience every time.

[lamp_shade]

4. Thanks for having your heart in the right place.

[OneGrassRoot]

5. You just described Wishadoo better than I ever have. :)

"Charitable Giving of the Third Kind"

I introduced it here at DU via a fundraiser for Rocky, but the idea behind Wishadoo is to connect even more directly -- and touch the other person. Just as you have described.

I'm not big on the whole write-off aspect of things either, especially if that's the main reason people "do good."

Beautifully written, Stinky! :hug:

My story tells of my experience with Charitable Giving of the Third Kind, which led to Wishadoo:

http://wishadoo.com/wp-about/denas-story

:grouphug:

[Stinky The Clown]

6. There really is nothing better than those hugs, is there?

You're Dena right?

[OneGrassRoot]

7. I'm the hugging monster....

Yes, I'm Dena. :hi:

Pleased to "meet" you!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

:grouphug:

[asdjrocky]

8. This is great Stinky.

I've very recently been a direct recipient of the third kind, and I have my second appointment with a dentist today because of it. Giving like this, I know personally, is far more than just giving, it sparks tiny revolutions in peoples hearts!

Great post, K&R!

[Trailrider1951]

9. Amen, Stinky

I no longer belong to a church, so I use Craigslist.org for my giving. I just post what I have to give, and then select from the e-mails those people who seem to need it the most. Earlier this year I was able to give several bags of like-new clothing that no longer fit me to a young woman who was recently released from prison. I posted about that episode here, and some people criticized me for it. Oh well, I have learned to ignore the Nay-Nannies we have here, and the hug from that young woman was priceless. Keep up the good work, and I love your posts. :loveya:

[REACTIVATED IN CT]

10. The school supplies are a big expense for families these

days. I'm ancient and when I went to school we didn't have to buy all our supplies. Each classroom had a cupboard stocked with them.

I went to Staples this week and bought a bunch of stuff then dropped it off at my town's Community Dining Room/Clothing Bank. I'm going to do it again Saturday.

[Liberal_in_LA]

11. great post

[Hatchling]

12. Yes, Giving of the third kind.

Recently one of my cats became very ill. I found an organization that helped me with vet care for her and although she wasn't able to be saved these people did the very best they could out of compassion for low income people and their pets. If you have a little to spare they can always use it.

http://www.imom.org

I am thinking that this kind of thing Like IMOM and Wishadoo is the coming thing.