Bullied girl alone no more

[Sequoia]

Sitting in her living room amid stacks of handwritten letters from all over the nation and the world, 14-year-old Olivia Gardner of Novato said she no longer feels alone.

A victim of extreme bullying that spanned two years and three schools, Olivia said she has been pulled from the depths of depression by a letter-writing campaign started by two sisters at Tamalpais High in Marin County after they read in The Chronicle in March about Olivia's ordeal.

At least 1,000 strangers have sent her letters and e-mails of support, and there's talk of a book deal, Web sites and letter campaigns for other children who are bullied, and the three girls have received countless interview requests.

Whether Olivia likes it or not, she helped bring attention to the widespread and tenacious problem of bullying in school hallways, on cell phones and in cyberspace.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/23/MNGTFPVVON1.DTL

[lvx35]

1. Good.

Kids should have a chance to grow up in a nurturing setting. We allow our schools to be anarchic and all kinds of shit will happen.

[Catherine Vincent]

2. Such a great story.

It's hard to believe bullying has been going on for years. My mom attended schools in the thirties and it was going on then. She told me she had incidences with two bully's. One was a girl that would see her coming down the road as she walked to school. She would make her go back home and my mom did. This happened several times. She said most times she didn't mind because they had so far to walk. But one last time, she was tired of it and didn't turn back around. She had to fight the girl and my mom said she beat her up real good and after that, she never bothered her again. One other time a boy bully would always force my mom and a nother girl to walk in a straight line to school and if they turned around he would hit them. They would do exactly as they were told because they were scared that the boy would hurt them. Luckily that was the only thing they had to do.

[sam sarrha]

3. bullying is Terrorism.!! file assault charges if you are touched, pushed or knocked down in the

school gym showers and and pissed on by a 10 thugs.. i am 59 and still have problems being agoraphobic and being in groups of people.. i lived in fear all my formative years, i was beaten by gangs of rich kids and the typical thugs, i suffered broken bones and constant terrorism all thu public school.. i was 6' tall in the 8th grade and weighed maybe 110 pounds.. i am also autistic, i have good verbal skills, an IQ of 165 but am essentially functionally illiterate.. i am a savant and work in the aero space industry..

i am being bullied now by a co-worker. who almost got me fired, she is a kiss up kick down narcissist, she tells management lies, they seem to be a bit more cautious now, she has been having trouble with her medication and gets manic hysterical laughing fits.. at really inappropriate times. it never ends, especially if you are a bit weird.. i dont recognize faces or remember names.. i frequently dont know who i am talking to, if it is something social i have no idea what they are doing or why and simply cant reply as i have no social skills or perception of sociality.

i hope the girls can get something done about bullying.

[undergroundpanther]

12. Hey SamSarrah

Glad you are still around here!

This Cat knows how it is. If you want one,I offer a hug because it hurts us all who get bullied..and you are cool and a brilliant jewel of a person.That's why people like us get bullied..

[Triana]

19. DAMN right - it is terrorism...

...and I'm happy that more attention is being paid to this problem. Not nearly enough, of course especially by the parents of bullies and by the damn schools who blame the victims and sanction the behavior of the bullies - but at least it's a start.

[grace0418]

20. I wonder how many parents of the bullies insist that their "perfect" child has done

nothing wrong. I think too many kids are overly coddled and turned into selfish, narcissistic brats with no concept of right and wrong. And if anyone (a teacher, another parent) dares to offer any discipline (not physical) or boundaries it's met with threats from the parents. I have so many teacher friends that are completely sick of they way more and more people choose to parent nowdays.

[Triana]

22. I know...we seem to be raising an entire generation of narcissists...

...and psychopaths. JUST like the one in the White House.

[raccoon]

23. A-effing-men! nt

[Swamp Rat]

4. Thanks for posting this story.

:hug: I need some good news for a change.

[Sequoia]

5. You bet. I remember reading about this a month or so ago.

[Cults4Bush]

6. Hope someone gives this a fifth rec.

Thanks for some uplifting there :)

[Ron Green]

7. Here ya go.

:hi:

[Cults4Bush]

8. Thank ya!

:toast:

[Maestro]

9. As an administrator in an elementary school

I have had fifth graders ticketed for bullying because at 10 they are arrestable. After you meet most of the parents of bullies you understand why they are the way they are. I'm glad she feels better now and that people are supporting her. I detest bullies.

[rasputin1952]

28. I didn't say this..*wink*..but the best way i found to deal w/bullies

is to just kind let the kids catch them away from school, and allow the situation to...ummm...take it's natural course...*whistling*...;)

I know that things are different these days, and I really don't want to advocate someone getting a beating, but in my day, we dealt w/such things...one on one, straight forward. Once a bully gets his/her ass kicked, they lose all power. What they thought were friends, turn around and scatter.

And I agree w/you on the parents of such individuals. They are generally knuckle-dragger's that believe their kids could not be "bad". I once had a parent come to the our door in AZ complaining of the way my son dealt w/his son...I am not a violent person, but I can certainly defend myself. This guy told me he was going to kick my ass, because my son hit his kid twice in a scuffle. I just stood there looking at him, dead in the eye, not saying a word...he threatened me again, then left w/o doing anything. If he would have made a move to strike me, there would have been regret in his household that night, but he knew I could not be bullied, and I saw some concern in his eyes, that he might have made a mistake...O8)

[malaise]

10. Lovely story indeed n/t

[undergroundpanther]

11. Bullying is serious

It fucked me up for life pretty much. Pstd sucks.

I endured it from second grade through high school.
People who I never met who were not even in my school took the time to tell me how much of a loser I was.There was no safe place except for high up in the trees in the woods.I was a very adept tree climber I could let myself free fall out of a 50 foot tree and catch myself on the last branch,I could shimmy up limbless trunks,and grab branches and move from tree to tree..Why because if I didn't learn to escape in ways the bullies were afraid to do,or could not do I'd be chased down and beaten.

I wish all bullies would drop dead instantly in one magical night.Adult and child bullies.They think they are gonna say something clever and mean than bam,their heart stops and they drop dead like flies. What a fantasy,wish it could happen..But you say that's so harsh.. Try living my childhood yourself have my intelligence and sensitivity and tell me how evil it is to want sociopath thugs dead .

Bullies would be rejected and not get what they want,instead of obeyed ... if there was ANY justice or sanity in this world.
But the world is insane fucked up and senseless it is the banality of evil itself.


Oh, and a pre - emptive Fuck to the stupid social darwinist social pecking order myths some people pull out of their ass to excuse bullies,as"normal" We are not chickens condemned to making one bird a pariah and pecking it to death..are we..??!!
Glad she got support..glad people wrote her that might save her from a life in hell like mine. I am happy for her.Wish every kid facing bullies today got support like her they need it.

[Sequoia]

26. That's really sad....2nd grade onward!

I guess I should feel lucky, I was only bullied over a guy for a short time. That tree business is very interesting, I can't imangine free falling like that. I saw the movie "House of Flying Daggers" this week:

http://www.sonypictures.com/classics/houseofflyingdaggers/trailer-open.html

and there was a really cool scene where these guys were flying from one bamboo tree to the next; almost as if they were walking from one tree to the other. You can see it in the clip. Great movie, and sad love as the Chinese seem to have perfected. As for bullies, yeah, let them be raptured since a whole slew of those so called Christians are the worst bullies anyway.

[rasputin1952]

13. I sent an e-mail at the link provided...Thanks for posting this,

I hope she feels so much better because people do truly care.

Bullies are assholes, fed on ignorance and nurtured w/fear...they will never live a full life, their own fears will anchor them in a miserble turn of affairs...x(

[AuntPatsy]

14. Now that was inspiring, I am glad she realizes she was never alone.

I knew this brother and sister in highschool that were bullied relentlessly by alot of other kids, I don't pat myself on the back for not joining in because what I should have done was help stop them but I never did more than walk away in disqust and yet I always felt guilty that I didn't do more.

Both of them would actually slink very close to the hallway walls, keeping their heads down while attempting to walk away from the hateful teasing comments alot of the kids made...

I never knew their names nor ever thought for a moment they would know mine. but one Halloween night I answered the door to hand out candy, it was fairly late and the kids had winded down, I opened the door and saw a small child and a taller one both in masks, I smiled as I gave them each candy and as I was doing that the taller one took off her mask, it was the girl everyone made fun of, she smiled at me and said hi adding my name.

I remember being really shocked because for once her head was not down low like she was hiding from the world, she was happy and actually pretty when she smiled. I never forgot that and raised my children that they should NEVER make fun of people, anyone, especially not knowing why they are the way they are and always if they could to help those that were being made fun of, I told them bullies were cowards and I would call them that if I ever found out they they participated in such.

As far as I know they never did, at least I hope they didn't. I do know they have and would still stick up for any strangers that they felt were getting a bad deal.

I found out a few years ago that both brother and sister had been molested by drunken parents and had been finally taken out of their homes. It broke my heart when I heard that, I was simply to scared to stand up for them in front of everyone, I wish I had been stronger, glad my kids were.

I hate bullies./

[mentalsolstice]

15. Such an ignored issue in our schools and families

I was bullied (in the 70s) throughout Jr. High and High...yet according to my parents, teachers, and school administrators it was my fault. Although I was disabled, and "different", according to the powers that be, I should have had better coping skills.

I feel that many of our societal problems could be solved if we supported each child for their own talents and capabilities...and we encouraged all children to be more tolerant!

[badgerpup]

17. Had to change schools in Jr. High because of bullying...

They told me that my teenage years would be the best time of my life...
I'm thinking "And it goes downhill from here? Hand me the razor blade, please."

Changing schools helped but still....

[grace0418]

21. Yeah, I remember being told to grow a thicker skin. Even the article kinda makes

it up to the person being bullied to have better coping skills. How is a little kid who thinks everyone hates them going to suddenly learn coping skills? I'll tell you what really happens. That kid carries scars and trust issues and self-esteem problems for years, often for the rest of his or her life. I've been there. I know.

[AZBlue]

16. That's a beautiful story. And reminds us we really can reach out and help one another - without

ever even meeting. What a fantastic lesson. Thank you for posting this.

[Truthiness Inspector]

18. This is a nice story

I am glad she is getting some support. I bet she will go a lot farther in life than the bullies, they'll be the ones at the local bar getting sloshed every night while her life is only looking better and better.

[raccoon]

24. I'm glad she's getting some support. School bullying is getting a

lot of attentin now. HOpefully, workplace bullying will be getting more.

A lot of managers manage by bullying, because they don't know how to manage people.

And of course a lot of non-managers are bullies, too.

Especially it chaps my arse to see a bully manager in an effing taxpayer-supported position (i.e., schools, state government, county government, etc.

[rasputin1952]

25. I received the following e-mail in reply to a msg sent yesterday...

From: [e-mail]
>To: xxxxxxxxx
>Subject: (no subject)
>Date: Thu, 24 May 2007 01:18:08 EDT
>Thank you SO much for writing--all the way from Nebraska? How did you read
>about this, I am curious! Your wisdom and encouragement will be very helpful to
> Olivia and I will send this out to her in tomorrow's mail. It is so sweet to
> think of people like you who live so far away caring so much to contribute
>their help. We really appreciate it.
> The best to you,
>The Buders

[Sequoia]

27. Thumbs up, let's all email!

Hugs to everyone!