I just told my wife to submit to me as the Lord commands. Her response:

[sixmile]

"Sounds like Sharia law to me."

All in fun!

[trueblue2007]

1. i say to my hubby.... "FORGET YOU" LOLOLOL

LOLOLOL


ain't no way... ain't no how

[seabeyond]

13. mine is.... isn't gonna happen. i really want to say

aint gonna happen, but can't say aint. lol

[TheMadMonk]

25. Why not? Oxford caved on "ain't" over a decade ago.

Just don't forget the apostrophe.

However, if you really wish to fight an already conceded battle, I'm recruiting for the campaign to abolish "dynamical" and all other superfluous "...al"s.

[seabeyond]

32. ha ha. funny how so many of us have our "things" . go at it. nt

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. It's a damn good thing your wife has a sense of humor!

[sixmile]

4. She was born in a Muslim country

so she speaks from experience.

But yes, she has a great sense of humor.

[geomon666]

3. Could've been worse.

Just be glad there wasn't one of those cigar cutting things around. :scared:

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. Tell her that next time she should just say, "Bite me!" It's much faster.

[catabryna]

8. +1,000 nt

[sixmile]

6. Women's Biblical status:

The Biblical view of women

The God of the Bible decrees that woman must submit to the dominance of man.

"The social and legal position of an Israelite wife was inferior to the position a wife occupied in the great countries round about... all the texts show that Israelites wanted mainly sons to perpetuate the family line and fortune, and to preserve the ancestral inheritance... A husband could divorce his wife; women on the other hand could not ask for divorce... the wife called her husband Ba'al or master; she also called him adon or lord; she addressed him, in fact, as a slave addressed his master or subject, his king. The Decalogue includes a man's wife among his possessions... all her life she remains a minor. The wife does not inherit from her husband, nor daughters from their father, except when there is no male heir. A vow made by a girl or married woman needs, to be valid, the consent of the father or husband and if this consent is withheld, the vow is null and void. A man had a right to sell his daughter. Women were excluded from the succession."

-Roland de Vaux, archaeologist and priest

http://nobeliefs.com/DarkBible/darkbible7.htm

[aquart]

20. Proverbs 31:10-31 Note who runs things here:

New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

[GreenPartyVoter]

22. Yeah, that's not how the evangelical churches I've been to spin it. It's all about how

cherished women are and how they are placed upon pedestals.

[TheMadMonk]

28. Interesting that, since Orthodox Judaism counts membership...

...through the female line.

The offspring of a Jewish daughter who marries outside the faith may (at least in theory) return to it. Those of a son never. Thus the archtypical "My son is dead to me." we hear when a 'good Jewish boy' marries a gentile.

Material/property inherritance may well pass through the patrelineal line, however, membership in the community was/is through the maternal.

And when ballanced, the one counteracted the worst of the other. AND the (properly dutiful?) child (of either sex) was the greatest beneficiary. Remember, in a proprerly functional community a girlchild took with her, her share of the family wealth in the form of a dowery. She "inherrited" when she married. A son had to prove himself, by surviving AT LEAST as long as his parents BEFORE he collected.


All in all, it's a pretty good way, for a sub-literate, semi-nomadic community of about 300 (by most measures this appears to be the ideal size of an effective self policing human community) to manage their interpersonal affairs. And while not entirely fair, it does tend towards being equally unfair to all AND with the greatest inequality (embodied in the cheiftain) being the very socialistic "property" of the entire community.

Where problems begin to arise, is when we apply our unique inteligence to abstracting layers of community to build far larger townships and cities. We create spaces whithin which "communities" of population/300 (or so) can thrive quite well. Criminals and police automatically beg the existance of each other as the size of an inclusive community passes 300 members. Exclusive communities tend to demand "enforcers" much, much sooner.



Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to chage a lightbulb?
A. None. "I'll just sit here in the dark."

[Drale]

7. I think your probably lucky not to be singing soprano right now.

:rofl:

EDIT: God I am just not having a very spelling night.

[givemebackmycountry]

9. Or singing Soprano which would be even worse!

:rofl: :rofl:

[MADem]

11. You mean Tony, earning a few extra bucks by doing hits? NT

[MADem]

10. Was that accompanied by a high heel upside your head? nt

[stevedeshazer]

12. Sounds like home to me.

Been married 25 years, plus five.

Do people still have Sharia Law sex.

[ZombieHorde]

14. Liberals claim one half of the Bible is bullshit, conservatives claim the other half is bullshit,

and everyone hates atheists because they agree with both claims.

[Scuba]

30. +1,000

[SammyWinstonJack]

34. ...

:thumbsup:

[gauguin57]

15. When's someone going to get it through to the Bachmannites' heads ...

... that the Bible was WRITTEN BY MEN?!?!

And the Bible was EDITED by men!! MEN decided which books would go in the Bible.

MEN decided what all the rules were in the Old Testament.

And it was apparently written by very insecure men!

So, of course the Bible tells you to cover your head and submit to your husband and not be leaders in your church.

Got it, Michelle?

If I had to submit to that doofus she's married to, I'd kill myself.

[sixmile]

16. I think we know who wears the pants in that family

allegedly...

[avebury]

24. And any woman who believes that she should submit to

her husband has absolutely no right running for President. If the husband wants to be President let him run for the office. Remember how much power Todd Palin had in the Alaska when his wife was Governor?

[aquart]

17. GREAT answer!

Swift wife you've got.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

18. My wife, "Yeah, right. Now mow the damned lawn."

[FreakinDJ]

19. So I guess the Threesum this weekend is Off ??

[gauguin57]

21. Please don't talk of threesomes in the same thread with Michelle Bachmann and her closet-case hubby.

Triple ugh.

[gateley]

23. Bwah! nt

[guitar man]

26. I told my wife to submit to me and she did

She submitted her visa card bill, her sears charge card bill, all the utility bills, the repair bill on her car..... :silly:

[southerncrone]

27. Not until I hear "the Lord" speak to ME!

Hubby knows he's got a looooong wait!:evilgrin:

[saras]

29. Late last night, I was talking to my wife...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zJUYHjzck0">...and she turned into a Momur...

[boston bean]

31. my response would have been:

Fuck Off!

:-)

[etherealtruth]

37. That was what immediately came to my mind

[hobbit709]

33. When we were married, I printed Donna's comment on the cover of the invitations.

"YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT THAT OBEY PART"

I thought my mother was going to choke, she was laughing so hard.

[Doc Holliday]

35. My wife of thirty-five years and I

now have what is known as "hallway sex." We pass each other in the hallway of our house; I raise an eyebrow to see if she's "in the mood", and she replies, "Fuck you." :spank:

[stevenleser]

36. Any woman that would have my interest is someone who you would have to run from if you said that nt

[annabanana]

38. I say.. "Get Bent Sweetie!". . . .n/t

Mr. Banana gets it.

[opiate69]

39. BDSM.. it's not just for heathens anymore

:spank: