Thank you, Donald Trump, for allowing me to drive to work safely

[louis c]

I drove to work and back home about 235 times without an accident in 2017. It obviously was because Donald Trump was elected President of the United States. After all, what else could it be? Of course, I haven't had an accident or a traffic ticket since 2009, but Obama never mentioned it, so he must have had nothing to do with it. Trump, on the other hand, has taken credit for anything and everything that goes right, and others are to blame if anything goes wrong. I have a 12 year old nephew who uses that same line of reasoning. There is no doubt he will grow up to be a great man.

[ProfessorGAC]

1. Me Too!

All year! Must be due to this phenomenal leadership. There's no other explanation, even though i've been driving this route (or heading to the airport) for 39 years. Simple logic suggests that my luck would have run out, and it's only through the contributions of "that thing in the WH" that my luck didn't run out.

Or, maybe it's because i'm a safe driver.

No, that can't be it.

[rzemanfl]

2. I haven't had a ticket since 1990 but was rear-ended twice while waiting for lights to change

under Dubyah. Obama never mentioned my driving record, nor did Clinton or Bush the elder. So Dubyah bad, Orange Julius Caesar good, Dems, meh...am I right? Yes, bigly, I am sure.

[dalton99a]

3. Go on

It's testimonials like this that make America great

[Farmer-Rick]

4. Some people use to thank their God for things like that

Now they thank Trump.

[Binkie The Clown]

5. "Bless us Trump, and these, thy gifts which we are about to receive..." nt

[Farmer-Rick]

6. Here in Trump country, I do believe that some pray to him

Much like that. They want a man in the WH that is like their mean, vengeful God.

[SammyWinstonJack]

7. Same thing among his base. God emperor, I believe.

[Mc Mike]

8. Sun came up today, too. Hint, hint. You ingrate. rec nt.

[thbobby]

9. No extraterrestrial invasions

Thank you so much trump. You have kept our planet safe from Martians. And gravity still works. You are a great leader. God is smiling on you and Putin.

[Raster]

13. I did!

Thanks, tRump*!

[Kablooie]

11. He has the ability to slaughter any one of us at any time without consequence.

So I too bow down to the great and powerful Wizard of Twit for protecting and shielding me from disasters near and far.

[Still In Wisconsin]

12. I have never passed out while taking a dump and smacked my head on the porcelain sink

in front of the toilet. Thank you, TRUMP for preventing this and every other misfortune that does not befall me each day!

[ProudLib72]

14. I didn't spontaneously combust for all of last year!

And I expect the same for as long as Great Leader is in power.

[NewJeffCT]

15. I did not get bitten by a zombie, werewolf or vampire all of last year

It must be because of Trump. Thank you Trump.

In fact, I think he's gone back in time and prevented my getting bitten for all 50+ years of my life