Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Initech

(99,914 posts)
Wed Jan 3, 2018, 06:00 PM Jan 2018

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of Season 3

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of Season 3


Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh…. Oh hello! I know right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get season 4? I can’t tell you, but it rhymes with “Pinner”! So as you can tell, while we’re giving you this edition of also-rans, let me tell you that we have some big things prepared for seasons 4 and 5, and I’m especially looking forward to the return of our March Madness inspired Stupidest State contest! But as far as the Stupidest State goes - will Texas retain their crown or will they be unseated by a new upstart team or will one of the conference favorites retake their title? We’re also going to do another lecture series at some point and we’re going to have a few more go rounds of our popular World Tour where we are going to pick up on some popular and not so popular destinations we might have missed. Plus we missed Chile the first go round, so we are making up for it. As for what happens after that? We have some big things planned but I will not reveal them at least for the time being. What? That’s what I get for doing these not in front of an audience! But while we're laying dormant we're busy creating new graphics, finding new funny memes (you can only use the same one so many times) and creating new bits for your amusement. Plus we are still planning the launch of our first ever Top 10 Podcast. So before we get to the meat of this “best of” we’re going to show that time John Oliver talked about Infowars and exposed the products being sold at Alex Jones’ store, then proceeded to sell Million Dollar Taint Wipes. Hey we own a couple of those! Just kidding!



So where do we begin this “best of” while we’re waiting for season 4? As usual for our best of segments, some of the videos and memes may have been deleted but if possible we will try to use equivalents of the joke we were going for. In the number 1 slot, from Idiots #3-5, is Donald Trump (1) and it’s from way back last summer when Trump went to Poland, and it was about as big of a shit show as you could possibly imagine. Taking the second slot, from Idiots #3-8, is that guy who lasted a total of 10 days in the White House, and we are going to explore the morning drive time banter between Donald Trump and Anthony Scaramucci in “DT And The Mooch” (2). At number 3 is of course Donald Trump (3) and we're going to Idiots #3-25, where his insane McDonalds order was revealed and we had the audacity to try it! Yeah my stomach did not survive that day. In the fourth slot, from Idiots #3-23 Taking the fourth slot from Idiots #3-23, we’re going to ask “The Presidential Turkey Pardon: How Is This Still A Thing”. In the fifth slot is our weekly sermon of all things holy, “Holy Shit”, and for this one we’re going to Idiots #3-16, where after the horrifying shooting in Las Vegas, the Christian right predictably told the victims of the shooting to go fuck themselves. At number 6, from Idiots #3-17, the Alt Right (6) complain to the video game publisher Bethesda that the new game “Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus” features too much Nazi killing, and you really can’t make this shit up. In the number 7 slot, from Idiots #3-10, we profile Sebastian Gorka in our segment (that we kind of stole from Jim Jeffries) – “This Fucking Guy”. In the number 8 slot, from Idiots #3-15, Alex Jones (8) might possibly be losing it completely. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is an edition of “People Are Dumb” from Idiots #3-23, where we saw a guy who really wanted to prove the Earth was flat so he attempted to launch himself in a homemade rocket. In the number 10 slot, from Idiots #3-19, we’re going to take you back to the World Tour where we talked about how China’s falling space station could possibly kill a whole lot of us! Plus we’re also going to end with that time we had Macklemore on the show, which I believe was also the same episode! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-5



That happened! So Trump may be the president, but he’s still a loser. Last week, he was on the second leg of his World Deplorable Tour 2017. And this time he went to Poland. Of course, I could point out the last time a crazy wannabe dictator with a messianic complex went to Poland, but we’re on a schedule, we don’t have that kind of time. So here’s the most fucked up thing about this whole G20 summit visit – and we’ll get to the Putin meeting later. But we might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one.

&t=6s

Donald Trump didn’t exactly earn a unanimously warm welcome during his first trip to Europe as president in May. To ensure that his second visit starts off on a far more positive note this week, considerable measures are being taken, including those borrowed straight from the Communist Party playbook.

Ahead of making his way to Germany for the start of the G-20 summit Friday, Trump will land in Poland Wednesday and is guaranteed a rapturous reception: Supportive crowds literally will be bused in to cheer for him.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-poland-crowds-bus-communist-632124


Worst party bus ever, by the way! And here’s the even more fucked up thing – Poland obviously believes the same bullshit that we do! Is there a Fox News affiliate in Poland?

Trump will find a rare European friend in Poland, a country governed by its own nationalistic government and encouraged by the new U.S. president’s intention to shake up the global political order. Defense Minister Antoni Macierewicz said that, like Trump, Poland’s government was being attacked by “liberals, post-communists, lefties and genderists.” He added that Trump was “a man who is changing the shape of the world’s political scene.”


Aw………… Trumpy made a friend!!!



Thanks Trumpy! But we still haven’t got to the heart of the matter yet. Apparently, the Pols are not known for getting American history right. And it was full on in display this week:



Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit!! Do they not understand that this is pretty much our equivalent of flying the Nazi flag? Seriously? Wow! Switching subjects, for a minute, before we get into the meat of this, we got to show what Mike Pence did.



It’s like Peter Griffin is in charge!




But this might be the saddest part of the whole G20 summit. Trump was often seen angry and alone – as Trump himself would say – it’s really very sad, OK?

For the second time in a matter of days, the Great Embarrassment — otherwise known as President Donald Trump — was caught on camera looking confused as he aimlessly wandered around, unclear about what he was doing.

On July 4, video emerged of a confused Trump exiting Air Force one and wandering off instead of entering the limousine that was literally right in front of the plane. He had to be directed back to the vehicle.

The second incident where Trump appeared to be confused was just after finishing his speech in Warsaw, Poland.

Trump looked as if he didn’t know where to go.

It’s understandable he’d look to his many handlers for some kind of direction if he wasn’t sure of his next move. Instead, he slowly and aimlessly walked away from the podium, adjusted his suit jacket and stared awkwardly into the crowd. Sad.
http://samuel-warde.com/2017/07/confused-trump-cant-figure-exit-stage-warsaw-speech/?utm_content=buffercb983&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer


But Trump was often seen alone at the G20. You know, like that kid who is picked last for football, and rather than play he says "fuck it", and spends recess playing Angry Birds on the bench. Can we show that picture? You know – can we show that picture?



Forget the Sad Hulk Music – this needs something much sadder!



Thank you! And here’s how wrong Trump is when it comes to things. The president of Poland often had to correct Trump on international trade. Oh yeah he’s wrong on everything! But why do you trust him, Poland??? You’ve been invaded by ruthless dictators before!

Donald Trump’s understanding of international trade deals has been called into question by Poland’s President after he seemingly misunderstood the scope of US influence on export pricing.

Andrzej Duda was forced to correct Mr Trump during a joint press conference as part of the US leader’s second foreign visit.

The former real estate mogul joked that the US would be able to influence the pricing for Liquid Natural Gas (LNG) exports.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/polish-president-andrzej-duda-corrects-donald-trump-fundamentals-international-trade-misunderstands-a7828466.html




But why does Poland love Trump so much that they’re willing to bend to our bullshit?

Thus far, Donald Trump has governed as a typical Republican president, with the usual suite of tax cuts, deregulation, and conservative nominees for the federal bench. The difference is that unlike his predecessors, Trump isn’t rooted in the tenets of conservativism. Indeed, as a man of id and impulse, it’s hard to say he’s rooted in anything. To the extent that he does have an ideology, it’s a white American chauvinism and its attendant nativism and racism. It was the core of his “birther” crusade against Barack Obama—the claim that for reasons of blood and heritage, Obama couldn’t be legitimate—and the pitch behind his campaign for president. Trump would restore American greatness by erasing the racial legacy of Obama’s presidency: the Hispanic immigration, the Muslim refugees, the black protesters.
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/07/the_white_nationalist_roots_of_donald_trump_s_warsaw_speech.html





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]DT & The Mooch
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-8



So last week at Comic Con, Marvel Studios announced more casting news and started teasing footage of two of it’s most highly anticipated movies yet – Avengers: Infinity War and next year’s sequel to Ant-Man, called “Ant Man & The Wasp”. But while we have to wait until next July for the Ant-Man sequel, we can watch our own hilarious duo right now – Donald Trump & Anthony Scaramucci, or as they’re known by their morning drive time handle, DT & The Mooch. Coming up next on DT & The Mooch, it’s the Wednesday morning fart song! And last week – The Mooch was firing on all cylinders!

“The swamp will not defeat him,” he said, breaking into the third person. “They’re trying to resist me, but it’s not going to work. I’ve done nothing wrong on my financial disclosures, so they’re going to have to go fuck themselves.”

Scaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,” he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. “I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.” (Bannon declined to comment.)

He reiterated that Priebus would resign soon, and he noted that he told Trump that he expected Priebus to launch a campaign against him. “He didn’t get the hint that I was reporting directly to the President,” he said. “And I said to the President here are the four or five things that he will do to me.” His list of allegations included leaking the Hannity dinner and the details from his financial-disclosure form.
http://www.newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizza/anthony-scaramucci-called-me-to-unload-about-white-house-leakers-reince-priebus-and-steve-bannon




Yeah. I mean this is just an utter embarrassment at this point. The GOP has spent the last 20 years mercilessly attacking Clinton for… something. And now we have a complete joke of a presidency that’s getting worse and worse by the minute. I mean The Mooch does need his mouth washed out with soap at this point. And I haven’t even got to the bulk of what he said yet! We need to go full S&P on The Mooch, I’m afraid!

“They’ll all be fired by me,” he said. “I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I’ll fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he’ll be asked to resign very shortly.” The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn’t been invited. “Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,” Scaramucci said. He channelled Priebus as he spoke: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ” (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)




Hey Scaramucci, you can’t just curse out the Trump administration, that’s my fucking job!!!!! Thank you audience! You know this feels like that point in the series where the writers feel the need to change things up. So they start killing off favorite characters (like Sean Spicer) and replacing them with new hot shots. And then new plot twists are introduced. Scaramucci called a guy a cocksucker? So outrageous!!! So with that in mind we’re going to go full Standards & Practices on Anthony Scaramucci and do a live bleep of his briefing!



“They’ll all be fired by me,” he said. “I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I’ll fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he’ll be asked to resign very shortly.” The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn’t been invited. “Reince is a <BLEEP>ing paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,” Scaramucci said. He channelled Priebus as he spoke: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the <BLEEP>ing thing and see if I can <BLEEP> block these people the way I <BLEEP>-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ” (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)




Thank you! And he’s referring to himself in the third person? I mean this guy really is a perfect candidate for the Jersey Shore reboot! “Hey it’s Tony S here and I’m going to <BLEEP> all you <BLEEP>ing <BLEEP> ing <BLEEPS>!!!!” Maybe he should start a department store called “Nobody Beats The Mooch!”. But did you know he has a wife and a kid, possibly more? Yes somebody decided to swipe right on that guy, and we feel sorry for you!

Anthony Scaramucci sent his wife a text after she gave birth to their second child saying, "Congratulations, I’ll pray for our child," it has been claimed.

Donald Trump’s communications director reportedly sent the message after missing the birth of his second child, James, with his estranged wife Deidre.

The pair reportedly separated some months ago and Ms Scaramucci filed for divorce just two weeks before she gave birth to her son, when she was eight months pregnant.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/anthony-scaramucci-wife-miss-birth-son-donald-trump-white-house-communications-deidre-scaramucci-a7868351.html




Wait – that’s it? Your wife just gave birth to your son and your first thing to do is text her “I’ll pray for you?”. How do you handle other family announcements? “Congrats on your wedding, cousin! I’ll pray for you!”. Maybe that’s why he’s getting divorced. But he’s the Mooch, and nobody beats him!

The wife of newly named White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci reportedly wants a divorce, just days after giving birth to the couple’s son.

The Page Six gossip column of The New York Post on Friday reported that Deidre Ball, 38, had filed for divorce from Scaramucci. Ball began dating the 53-year-old Scaramucci in 2011 and they are believed to have gotten married in 2014, according to the Post. They have two children together, one of whom was born prematurely this past Monday.

Ball’s lawyer, Jill Stone, on Saturday confirmed the divorce story to The New York Daily News, but shot down rumors that Scaramucci’s “naked ambition” and desire to be a fixture in President Donald Trump’s administration drove a wedge between the couple.

“Whoever decided to state that that was the cause, that has nothing to do with her filing for divorce,” Stone told the paper, declining to get into specifics.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anthony-scaramucci-deidre-ball-divorce_us_597bb23fe4b0da64e879438c





And now my producer is telling me that Trump has decided to fire Anthony Scaramucci. So this will be it for DT & The Mooch.

WASHINGTON — President Trump has decided to remove Anthony Scaramucci from his position as communications director, three people close to the decision said Monday, relieving him just days after Mr. Scaramucci unloaded a crude verbal tirade against other senior members of the president’s senior staff.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/31/us/politics/anthony-scaramucci-white-house.html





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-25

You know I originally had an entry where I was going to talk about how pathetic the Trump’s first White House Christmas tree lighting ceremony went, and it went about as well as you could expect. But I didn’t like the entry. Instead – I want to talk about something else – the Trump diet. Everyone knows how much our glorious leader loves him some fast food. He even went out of his way to get the White House to create his favorite sandwich – The Big Mac.

Elton John blares so loudly on Donald Trump’s campaign plane that staffers can’t hear themselves think. Press secretary Hope Hicks uses a steamer to press Trump’s pants — while he is still wearing them. Trump screams at his top aides, who are subjected to ­expletive-filled tirades in which they get their “face ripped off.”

And Trump’s appetite seems to know no bounds when it comes to McDonald’s, with a dinner order consisting of “two Big Macs, two Fillet-O-Fish, and a chocolate malted.”

The scenes are among the most surreal passages in a forthcoming book chronicling Trump’s path to the presidency co-written by Corey Lewandowski, who was fired as Trump’s campaign manager, and David Bossie, another top aide. The book, “Let Trump Be Trump,” paints a portrait of a campaign with an untested candidate and staff rocketing from crisis to crisis, in which Lewandowski and a cast of mostly neophyte political aides learn on the fly and ultimately accept Trump’s propensity to go angrily off message.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trumps-campaign-big-macs-screaming-fits-and-constant-rivalries/2017/12/02/18bcfa30-d6bd-11e7-b62d-d9345ced896d_story.html




So screaming. Check. Insatiable love of junk food? Check. The only thing missing seems to be that he needs the toy from the happy meals. He really is a man child. Seriously – I predicted that he would go full Howard Hughes by the end of his first term. And he might already be there.

Now, in a new book from former Donald Trump associates Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie, Let Trump Be Trump, the two detail the president’s eating habits — which do much to explain both his body type and his explosive temper.

“There were four major food groups: McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke,” they write.

While on the road, the campaign would often stop at McDonald’s, where Trump would order two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, and a chocolate milkshake, which roughly equals a whopping 2,420 calories.

The book also details how campaign staffer Sam Nunberg was purposely left behind at a McDonald’s when his personal order took too long. “Leave him,” Trump said. He was left behind at the counter, waiting for his food.
http://www.bravotv.com/the-feast/donald-trumps-favorite-fast-food-meal-has-2420-calories




Yeah Trump’s food pyramid is kind of like the one from Idiocracy. Only replace the Brawndo with Diet Coke. Diet Coke a shitload!!!! Here’s something else that signals that Trump has the diet of a two year old.

The plane’s cupboards were stacked with Vienna Fingers, potato chips, pretzels and many packages of Oreos because Trump, a renowned germaphobe, would not eat from a previously opened package.

Worse still is how central this diet is to letting Trump “be Trump,” to quote the book’s title. Adviser Sam Nunberg got purposely left behind at one McDonald’s because his “special-order burger” was taking too long for the president. “Leave him,” Trump supposedly ordered. “Let’s go.” Lewandowski and Bossie add that orchestrating Trump’s meals was literally “as important as any other aspect of his march to the presidency.” Ensuring that a bag of hot fast food was waiting for Trump on the plane was therefore an all-hands-on-deck situation.
http://www.grubstreet.com/2017/12/trumps-fast-food-diet-gets-even-more-unsettling.html




Vienna sausages? Seriously? Dude, I live in California. You know the only thing you’re supposed to do with a can of Vienna sausages? You put them in your disaster preparedness kit and then you never see them ever again! Those things are not meant for human consumption. But here’s the thing – Trump loves fast food for the cleanliness despite that his own restaurant failed to meet health standards (see: Idiots #2-20. But how clean are they?

There is seemingly no end to the list of policies by President Donald Trump that Democrats and Republicans argue about. But one matter that might be indisputable is Trump’s contention that fast food restaurants are cleaner than other establishments.

<snip>

The company found that fast food restaurants had lower bacteria counts overall, and many times, germs were contained in the bathrooms (a small relief, though you may want to use that toilet seat cover next time). In five-star restaurants, germs were evenly divided between the bathrooms and condiments. The reason, according to the report authors, is the extra layer of dish-washing at nicer restaurants as many casual places utilize disposable utensils.

Bacillus cereus bacteria, which was found to be more prevalent in the five-star establishments, are found in food items and can cause diarrhea, nausea and vomiting. Gram positive cocci, which was found in fast-food restaurants, is responsible for staph infections. So neither strain is exactly pleasant.

Trump's eating habits have garnered lots of attention as the businessman-turned-president is fairly vocal about his intake of fast food, but a new book released Tuesday, Let Trump Be Trump, further details his drive-thru diet. Written by Trump’s former campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, and former deputy campaign manager and transition team director, David Bossie, the book explains how the president sustained himself on junk food during his campaign, reported The Washington Post.
http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-right-fast-food-joints-are-cleaner-swanky-restaurants-735628




Actually, you’re right on this one, sir. For once. So for those of you keeping score at home, we have Trump – 1, Top 10 – 1,434,313,141,123! Ha!!!! And we haven’t even hit edition #100 yet! But Trump’s diet is not meant for mere mortals!

It's a well-documented fact that Donald Trump loves fast food.

And as attested to in a new book written by two of his former campaign aides, his go-to from McDonald's is quite the tall order.

The president's typical order at the Golden Arches is two Big Macs, two Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, and a large chocolate shake - malted, according to the book. That's a lot of calories for one meal - 2,430 in all.

I'm a big fan of McDonald's myself - my shameless love of the Big Mac is public knowledge. It's my go-to order at McDonald's, no less.

Of course, I only order one, but who's counting? I'm assuming running a global business enterprise takes a lot of energy, never mind leading the free world.

So, I decided to try Trump's beefy and brash lunch choice to truly immerse myself in the down-to-earth culinary tastes of one of the most powerful men in the world.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/casual/i-ate-trumps-absurd-2430-calorie-mcdonalds-order-%e2%80%94-and-it-was-even-worse-than-i-imagined/ss-BBGevYG?li=BBnb7Kw#image=1




Thank you Thor! You know - *WE* are going to attempt this feat for superiority. I have in front of me – two Big Macs, two Filet O Fishes, and a large chocolate shake. Oh yeah that’s good shit! *30 minutes later* Excuse me… … I mean couldn’t Trump just go the way of Richmond Valentine from the movie Kingsman?

It's no secret that Donald Trump isn't the healthiest guy out there. But now, thanks to some new insider information, we learned just how far his unhealthy habits reach: Trump's presidential diet resembles that of a 17-year-old stoner.

An upcoming book by ousted campaign manager Corey Lewandowski details Trump's favorite foods, including KFC, pizza, Diet Coke, and of course, McDonald's. His trademark feast at Mickey D's happens to be two Big Macs, a chocolate malt, and two of the perpetually controversial Filet-O-Fish—a sandwich that happens to be Desus Nice's favourite, as well.

"If even someone as bad as Donald Trump can enjoy a Filet-O-Fish, that is the unity we need to bring this nation together," Desus said.
https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/pazdj8/desus-and-mero-discuss-trumps-fast-food-diet





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-23

Time once again to ask:



This week: The Presidential Turkey Pardon. How Is This Still A Thing? Can we please admit that in 2017, that the presidential turkey pardon is one of the stupidest traditions in American history? Especially when a giant turkey currently occupies the Oval Office? I mean what business does Trump have pardoning a turkey when he is one? And anyone remember how lavish his Thanksgiving spread was? And they call Hillary the elitist. But like one of my favorite traditions – the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest (‘Merica!!!) on July 4th, the presidential turkey pardon gets more ridiculous every year, and it really makes one wonder why the terrorists hate us. This year adds a turkey fashion show:

What makes a good presidential turkey? Showmanship. A readiness to strut his stuff and gobble on command, yet enough restraint to stay on a table for the big photo op.

So say a Minnesota turkey farmer and 4-H kids who raised the turkey that will go to the White House for an official pardon from President Donald Trump on Tuesday. It's the 70th anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey tradition. Here's a little deeper look at the event and what goes into it:

THE TRADITION

White House archives show that Americans have sent presidents holiday turkeys at least since 1873 under President Ulysses S. Grant. But the National Thanksgiving Turkey dates from 1947, when the National Turkey Federation became the official supplier and presented a 47-pound gobbler to President Harry Truman. In those days the turkeys were destined for dinner.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-trump-thanksgiving-turkey-pardon-20171121-story.html




I like that one! Excuse me a minute… By the way, if you want suggestions for a centerpiece maybe don’t ask Ivanka Trump, because at a Thanksgiving dinner, you want people to come to the table, not run away from it screaming in horror!

The lifestyle brand named after the first daughter tweeted out a blog post on Thursday featuring ideas from interior designer Allison Domonoske on how to create a memorable Thanksgiving centerpiece. But instead of being trendy and popular, the suggestions were nightmarish and widely mocked.

IvankaTrump.com called the creation a "beautiful, bold and unexpected Thanksgiving tablescape," but the internet disagreed. It not only tore apart Domonoske's concept—a giant clam shell filled with pumpkins, moss, milkweed, pine cones and driftwood—but also searched for hidden meaning in the project.

Several Twitter users noted that even the pumpkins Domonoske selected were white, linking the choice to Donald Trump's anti-immigrant rhetoric, repeated Muslim ban proposals and his perma-tanned skin. Some compared the over-the-top nature of the decoration to the president's $100 million gilded penthouse in New York City. And others simply pointed out the differences in the priorities of the first family versus everyday Americans.
http://www.newsweek.com/ivanka-trump-thanksgiving-table-centerpiece-wtf-716052


Can we show that?




Yeah that doesn’t say “beautiful and unexpected”, that says “I’m going to eat your children in their sleep and give them nightmares!”. Back to the subject at hand – the presidential turkey pardon. Pundits are already speculating that this might be the weirdest Thanksgiving ever. Thanks Putin for ruining my favorite holiday for me!

Drumstick and Wishbone have been living it up in Washington, D.C. – but only one has what it takes to be the National Thanksgiving Turkey.

President Donald Trump will pardon one of the gobblers at 1 p.m. on Tuesday at the White House, as part of a tradition that may date as far back as Abraham Lincoln. This ritual will mark the 70th year the National Turkey Federation has presented the president with a turkey.

Trump will either pardon either Drumstick or Wishbone, depending on the results of a poll from the White House. (While just one will be used for the ceremony, both will be spared from the Thanksgiving table.)

The two turkeys appear to be living a life of luxury as they await the ceremony in the capital. Photos of both birds posted on the White House’s Twitter and Instagram accounts showed them staying at the Willard InterContinental Hotel, a five-star hotel just blocks away from the White House.
http://time.com/5033050/trump-pardons-national-thnaksgiving-turkey/




How about this – maybe don’t name turkeys after the food they will ultimately will become, let’s not torture the poor birds! But here’s the main difference between the democratic and republican Thanksgivings, and can you be shocked at how the other one lives? And they have the nerve to call the democrats elitist!

This is probably why it feels like we’re gearing up for a very weird Thanksgiving this year, under Trump. It’s the most American of holidays, and it’s the most humanizing of presidential celebrations, as, usually, we get to see the president doing what presidents have always done, despite their political gains and losses. But Donald Trump has already shown how awkwardly (if not offensively) he performs the least polemicized of presidential duties, like calling the family members of fallen soldiers or visiting with the victims of natural disasters. Not to mention, how he managed to make a visit from trick-or-treating children on Halloween as uncomfortable as possible.

The White House Thanksgiving is epitomized by the presidential turkey pardon in the Rose Garden, one of those bizarre, off-kilter traditions that are next-to-impossible to fully explain to foreigners, like trying to convey the meaning of a particularly wonky idiom. On Tuesday, Trump will pardon two turkeys (as usual, a chosen turkey and a back-up) though we have yet to know their names. It’s difficult to imagine this will go very smoothly for him, with his strange history with animals. Not only are his offspring famous for shooting them, Trump had that very odd and oft-memed photoshoot with a bald eagle for Time magazine (the eagle could clearly sense something was wrong). And many people have remarked that Trump is the first president in several decades not to have a dog (or cat or fish or bird), despite a member of his Palm Beach cohort seemingly rearing one (Patton) expressly for that purpose
https://www.vogue.com/article/weirdest-thanksgiving-ever-under-trump




Yes – how do you explain this to foreigners? You can’t even really explain it to children. See kids? That turkey has been fed a steady diet of hardcore steroids and growth formulas! That’s why it’s big enough to be the national turkey! But we can’t eat it! And a new study shows that Trump and turkey don’t mix:

Turkey and Trump don’t mix, and now we have the data to prove it.

Economists M. Keith Chen of UCLA and Ryne Rohla of Washington State University used location records from 10 million smartphones and precinct-level voting data to prove that Donald Trump’s election shortened Thanksgiving dinners by 62 million hours nationwide in 2016. Their working paper is currently under review by the journal Science.

The research showed that politically divided families cut their parties short by an average of 20 to 30 minutes and that Republican voters were more likely to leave parties in Democratic households than Democrats were to leave Republican ones. The partisan divide was even more pronounced in areas with heavily targeted political advertising.

Chen and Rohla started their research by using anonymized data from Safegraph, which collected more than 17 trillion smartphone location markers in November 2016. These statistics allowed “observation of actual (not self-reported) movement behavior, at extremely precise spatial and temporal levels,” they write.
http://observer.com/2017/11/thanksgiving-politics-trump-data/




And guess where Trump is having his first ever Thanksgiving dinner? We’ll give you a hint – it ain’t at the White House, that is for damn sure!

Plans appear to be underway for President Trump to spend Thanksgiving at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.

The Federal Aviation Administration issued a "VIP Movement Notification" for Palm Beach, Fla., Tuesday night, flagging dates between Nov. 21 and 26 for flight restrictions.

The notices are typically issued ahead of planned visits by the president to give other pilots advanced warning of possible restrictions in a particular area.

The latest FAA notice was first reported by the Palm Beach Post.
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/360414-trump-expected-to-travel-to-mar-a-lago-for-thanksgiving




So there you have it – a perfect storm of meat sweats, terrible Thanksgiving decorations, and an actual turkey in the White House. That’s enough to make you ask – the Presidential Turkey Pardon:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-16

Yes friends! Gather around, friends! Pass the collection plate, friends!!! Yay, during this most troubling of times we once again turn to the holiest among us. But unfortunately we realize that the holiest among us are full of…



Today, in the most darkest of times, after the most horrifying of mass shootings, we are once again turning to the most godly among us. And we are very much finding out that the godliest among us are also the craziest among us. To start this segment, we have our old friend – the guy who goes out of his way to pretend he’s a coach, Dave Daubenmire. Who offered this batshit craziest of theories about the shooting.

On his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire said last night’s mass shooting in Las Vegas, in which 50 people were killed and hundreds more were wounded, was just the latest example of “the wrath of God” being unleashed on America for being such a wicked nation.

“In the world of America, where guys climb up on towers in Las Vegas and pick off people at a concert,” he said, “where people indiscriminately kill one another, the wrath of God [is] being revealed. See, the wrath of God being revealed means that the things that the Lord used to prevent, He doesn’t prevent so much any more. He doesn’t prevent them. Maybe He doesn’t cause them, He doesn’t cause a hurricane to come into Houston, but He doesn’t prevent it. That’s for sure.”

“Maybe He doesn’t cause that guy to shoot people, but He doesn’t prevent it,” Daubenmire continued. “We used to have a sense of spiritual covering over us but it’s rapidly disappearing because, even though I stand for the Pledge of Allegiance, the American government is pretty wicked.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-vegas-shooting-was-the-wrath-of-god-being-revealed-on-a-wicked-nation/


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! These two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other, just like Dave has nothing to do with being an actual coach. I mean come on David, we can tell you're standing in front of an obviously fake blue screen stadium backdrop. Can we rolleth thy tape on that?



But then Dave not only doesn’t back down, he doubles down on his theory and suggests that Stephen Paddock might have been a government controlled assassin:

Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire used his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning to address the pressing question of whether the person responsible for last weekend’s mass shooting in Las Vegas might have been a victim of government mind control.

Daubenmire said that we all know “about mind control being used to create super soldiers, hidden assassins that are going to emerge” and so people must admit that “this is real.”

“Whether this guy was a mind-controlled assassin, we don’t know that,” Daubenmire said, “but the idea that he was a mind control assassin is not far out. It’s not far out, folks. And if you’re foolish enough to think that this is tinfoil hat stuff and this isn’t going on, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“We know this stuff is real,” he said later in the broadcast as he tried to connect the issue of mind control to Antifa, Barack Obama and George Soros.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dave-daubenmire-wonders-if-las-vegas-shooter-was-a-government-mind-controlled-assassin/


?w=1400

David, I believe my son, that you have been hitteh in thine head too many times. You know this stuff is real? Do you haveth thine proof? No? Then sit back down! Next up we have Pat Robertson. How is it that we lost Frank Zappa back in 1993 but Pat Robertson is still alive? Jesus must think he’s a real jerk.

On “The 700 Club” today, televangelist Pat Robertson linked last night’s mass shooting in Las Vegas to a disrespect for President Trump, the national anthem and God.

“Violence in the streets, ladies and gentlemen. Why is it happening?” he asked. “The fact that we have disrespect for authority; there is profound disrespect for our president, all across this nation they say terrible things about him. It’s in the news, it’s in other places. There is disrespect now for our national anthem, disrespect for our veterans, disrespect for the institutions of our government, disrespect for the court system. All the way up and down the line, disrespect.”

“Until there is biblical authority,” Robertson continued, “there has to be some controlling authority in our society and there is none. And when there is no vision of God, the people run amok … and we have taken from the American people the vision of God, the whole idea of reward and punishment, an ultimate judge of all our actions, we’ve taken that away. When there is no vision of God, the people run amok.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/pat-robertson-blames-vegas-shooting-on-disrespect-for-trump-the-national-anthem-and-god/




Next up we are switching subjects. You know Alabama’s senate candidate Roy Moore? You know he is among the craziest of us. Apparently false religion beith a thing that exists, and he is combating something that apparently is not a problem.

CNN reported recently on a February speech in which Moore suggested that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were God’s judgment on America for having “distanced ourselves” from God, including efforts to “legitimize sodomy” and “legitimize abortion.”

Moore has long warned that God is judging America. In a 2012 speech, Moore said that Satan was behind marriage equality and legal abortion, which is why God “has a controversy with the inhabitants of this land, and until we reject those evils, we shall suffer accordingly”:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/roy-moore-wins-gop-senate-nomination-his-long-history-of-fighting-false-religion-criminal-lifestyle-pre-k-indoctrination/




Yay, what are these people even angry about? Do they even know anymore? They’ve been lied to for so long they don’t know what they’re mad about. I mean really is the right’s argument about gay marriage even valid anymore? Well there’s Bryan Fischer – who believes that the right way to solve a gun problem is guess what? More guns!

American Family Radio’s Bryan Fischer said on his radio show yesterday that the problem at the heart of the recent mass shooting in Las Vegas is that too few people had guns.

Fischer told a caller who wondered if the massacre could have been stopped if armed guests in the Mandalay Bay hotel had burst into the shooter’s room and killed him that “that was a good question to raise.”

While admitting that breaking down a hotel room door in order to confront a heavily armed assailant in the midst of carrying out a massacre “might have been difficult” for an average hotel guest, Fischer said “it certainly would create the possibility if there was somebody next door with a weapon, maybe this thing could have been stopped before 55 people were dead.”

“The problem is not too many guns,” Fischer said, “but too few.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/bryan-fischer-on-vegas-shooting-the-problem-is-not-too-many-guns-but-too-few/




Really these people couldn’t be more stupid if they had tried. That comes with the problem of not thinking for thyself. But finally while on the subject of persecution – the right wing are the most paranoid among us, friends! And there is Sandy Rios.

Religious Right radio host Sandy Rios claimed that the term “alt-right” was constructed by liberals to denigrate conservatives, especially those like her who speak out “in the name of Jesus.”

While speaking with pro-Trump Religious Right leader Robert Jeffress this morning, Rios asked for his thoughts about a letter evangelical pastors sent to the White House asking that President Donald Trump take more steps to condemn the white supremacist alt-right movement. Jeffress told Rios he thought the letter was unnecessary.

“Let’s be clear. The president has soundly denounced racism,” Jeffress said, citing Trump’s signing of a joint resolution of Congress that renounced white supremacist and other hate groups. The letter evangelical leaders sent, Jeffress said, “is continuing to pick at a scab that does not need to be picked at.”

Rios said she agreed with Jeffress and that a lot of the “good men on this letter” didn’t fully understand what they had signed.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/sandy-rios-the-term-alt-right-was-constructed-to-denigrate-christians-like-me/




Yes, they just get crazier and crazier! They really are a special kind of stupid, aren’t they? But they need a lesson in how real life religion works as their treatment of our president!

As the Religious Right coalesced behind Donald Trump’s presidential campaign last year, various narratives began to emerge that Trump had found God—or at least “opened himself” to Christianity—thanks to his proximity to conservative evangelical leaders.

George Barna, a conservative Christian pollster who is out with a new book arguing that Christians brought about Trump’s election in what he has called a “major miracle” sent by God, added to this narrative in a recent interview with Virginia talk radio host Rob Schilling, saying that the conservative religious leaders who Trump has surrounded himself with in the White House have brought about a “major change” in “the heart and hopefully the soul of this man who’s now our president.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/george-barna-religious-leaders-have-effected-a-major-change-in-trumps-soul/




You can’t really change a soul when that individual had no soul to begin with! Thank you very much for attending! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That is it for this week, friends! Now sayeth it with thy self:




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Who’s The Snowflake?
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-17

Spin the wheel! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round. Where does it stop? It stops on… Clip without context!



Because that’s what they want you to think, Dave! You know the truth is out there!



Spin it again! And we’re going to play “Who’s The Snowflake???”!



So normally we have two or 3 entries for this game. But this time we just have one, and that is Nazis. Who might be some of the biggest snowflakes of them all. Now if you play video games, you might have heard that one of gaming’s biggest publishers – Bethesda Interactive – is gearing up to release one of their biggest games in this decade. I’m talking about “Wolfenstein: The New Colossus” which is out on October 27th. Well, the trailer has riled up a certain group of individuals, and see if you can guess:

All told, Bethesda is quite proud of how it's presenting the new Wolfenstein game, and frankly, politics aside, the game's marketing seems perfectly appropriate since Wolfenstein is essentially a game about killing Nazis.

Despite the blowback, Pete Hines, Bethesda's VP for PR and marketing, did not back down from the game's anti-Nazi stance.

The video itself is just a few seconds long, depicting orderly lines of Nazi soldiers (the game's main foe) with the text "Not my America" superimposed on top of it. You could say, fighting Nazis is a staple for the franchise.

"Wolfenstein has been a decidedly anti-Nazi series since the first release more than 20 years ago".

Here's what happened. Bethesda, for those who don't know, has started marketing its new game, Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus, by directly taking on the apparent rise of neo-Nazism and alt-right in the United States. Drawing clear parallels to current U.S. politics, including Donald Trump's presidential slogan "Make America Great Again", Hines spoke up about the criticisms Bethesda had received in the wake of the trailer's release.
http://expressnewsline.com/2017/10/07/bethesda-calls-reaction-to-wolfenstein-2s-nazi-killing.html




So let’s ask this…. *cue reverb* WHO’S… damn it!! You screwed up the reverb again! Let’s try it again. Take two! WHO’S THE SNOWFLAKE????? Oh that was good! Well, the snowflake in this case is the Nazis, because Bethesda isn’t backing down.

For so many reasons, Wolfenstein II looks to be a fantastic new addition to the classic game series, and as such, publisher Bethesda has pushed its advertising and promotional effort hard. As the company is quickly finding out, however, even if you think an advertising campaign provides a bulletproof message, you're may still to have to deal with backlash, especially if it also pushes the envelope a bit.

In this particular case, Bethesda published a trailer that held back no punches, stating: "Make America Nazi-Free Again." Blunt? Incredibly. Unfortunately, white supremacist and Nazi-related subjects have been prominent in the US news recently, while some people have related President Trump to that current landscape as well. As a result of this, and because the campaign slogan riffs off Donald Trump's original campaign slogan of "Make America Great Again" for his presidential bid, some folks have taken Bethesda's stance with this advertising campaign to be very anti-Trump.
https://hothardware.com/news/bethesda-defends-its-trump-inspired-wolfenstein-ii-nazi-killing-slogan-make-america-nazi-free-again


Can we throw that tweet up there?




Yes – Make America Nazi Free Again! Assuming Steve Bannon doesn’t get to it first! But the feud between Bethesda and neo Nazi Trump trolls isn’t over. Oh no it’s just beginning! Pass the popcorn!

Wolfenstein franchise has always been about killing Nazis and the upcoming Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus will be no different, however, Bethesda’s marketing campaign for the game is being deemed controversial by some and now the studio has come ahead to defend it.

Speaking with Game Industry, Bethesda’s VP of PR and marketing Pete Hines addressed the controversy behind Wolfenstein 2: The Colossus’ anti-Nazi marketing campaign and added that Bethesda doesn’t make games to make political statements.

At the time none of us expected that the game would be seen as a comment on current issues, but here we are. Bethesda doesn’t develop games to make specific statements or incite political discussions. We make games that we think are fun, meaningful, and immersive for a mature audience.

In Wolfenstein’s case, it’s pure coincidence that Nazis are marching in the streets of America this year. And it’s disturbing that the game can be considered a controversial political statement at all.

The controversy more or less started with the game’s recent trailer containing a “make America Nazi-free again” message to which many have made connections with the current political environment while Bethesda’s intentions are only to market the game to a wider audience.
https://segmentnext.com/2017/10/09/wolfenstein-2-new-colossus-defend-market/




But in case you’re wondering who BJ Blazkowicz might be up against, I give you some actual Nazis in our old buddy Milo Yiannopolous. Who got kicked out of a bar after doing this! So… reverb! WHO’S THE SNOWFLAKE???? Ooh that was good!

One night last spring, infamous right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos and Dallas' homegrown white nationalist, Richard Spencer, walked into a karaoke bar on Abrams Road in Lake Highlands. They left less than a half-hour later after being kicked out by One Nostalgia Tavern's bartenders. Before they did, someone filmed a video of Yiannopoulos singing "America the Beautiful" as Spencer and his fellow travelers gave a Nazi salute from the crowd.

Last night, the Observer talked to one of the bartenders on duty the night the video was filmed about that night and how it feels to be part of what's now the centerpiece of a Buzzfeed feature exploring the connections between Yiannopoulos' former employer Breitbart and the mishmash of white-nationalist, racist and neo-Nazis sometimes referred to as the alt-right.

"It was around 1 a.m. when [Yiannopoulos, Spencer and friends] came into the bar. It was very odd because they all had the same haircut," Amiti Perry says. "I had no idea who Richard Spencer was. I had no idea that was Milo. In fact, I had no idea that was Milo until today."
http://www.dallasobserver.com/news/interview-with-bartender-who-kicked-milo-yiannopoulos-out-of-karaoke-9948271






[font size="8"]”Dr.” Sebastian Gorka
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-10

It’s time for:



This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is a senior advisor of the White House – and a guy who really, really wants to emphasize the word “white” – “Dr.” Sebastian Gorka. You might be saying “who”? Because he’s really not that well known. Like Erik Prince, “Dr.” Sebastian Gorka prefers to remain in the shadows, you know, like Bane from the Dark Knight Rises. Only difference is Bane kicks ass and takes names, but I can’t really say that for anyone coming from this administration. So when what happened in Charlotte happened, guess what Gorka said?

Just days before a white supremacist rally resulted in the death of three people in Virginia, a White House adviser claimed that white supremacists were “not the problem” in America.

Sebastian Gorka, a deputy assistant to the president with a murky White House role and a controversial history, appeared on the Breitbart News Daily radio show to discuss the real threat to the US – radical Islamic terror.

“It’s this constant, ‘Oh, it’s the white man. It’s the white supremacists. That’s the problem.’ No, it isn’t, Maggie Haberman,” Mr Gorka said, referring to the prominent New York Times reporter.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/sebastian-gorka-charlottesville-white-supremacists-not-problem-white-house-adviser-breitbart-news-a7893156.html




So when what looks like an act of war happens thanks to white supremacists, this fucking guy is like “oh there’s no problems with white supremacists”. Well guess what? If you don’t have a problem with white supremacists, that means you are one! But there’s lots of demands right now to fire him along with Bannon in the wake of this week:

WASHINGTON

Religious and civil rights leaders called on President Donald Trump to fire White House advisors Steve Bannon and Sebastian Gorka, whose association with the white-supremacist “alt-right” movement have come under heightened scrutiny following Saturday’s violent racial clash in Charlottesville, Va.

“Supporters of white supremacists, violent extremism, racial bigotry and neo-Nazis should not serve in the White House or any level of government,” said Vanita Gupta, president and CEO of The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, during a telephone press briefing with reporters on Sunday.

Bannon, Trump’s chief strategist, is the former executive chairman of Breitbart News, a right-wing conservative news site that’s a favorite with white nationalists and the so-called “alt-right” movement of anti-semitic and white-power groups, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. Bannon also served as CEO of Trump’s presidential campaign.

Gorka, a deputy assistant to Trump, has ties to anti-Semitic, right-wing groups in Hungary.

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/latest-news/article167025242.html#storylink=cpy




Yeah just let me close my laptop here… OK we’re good! In fact Charlottesville is not the first time this fucking guy has tried to pass off a terrorist attack as a setup. You know there was that bombing at a mosque in Minnesota a few weeks ago? Well, this fucking guy had this to say:

Three days after a bomb exploded at a mosque in suburban Minneapolis, a White House official told MSNBC that he isn't yet convinced the attack was not a "fake hate crime."

President Trump has not issued a statement — via Twitter or the White House press office — since the attack at Dar Al-Farooq Islamic Center took place.

On MSNBC, Sebastian Gorka, a top national security adviser to the president, said the president won't speak out about the bombing until "local authorities provide their assessment." (Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton has called the bombing "a criminal act of terrorism." The local police handed the investigation to the FBI.)
https://www.buzzfeed.com/nidhiprakash/gorka-minneapolis-mosque-hate-crime?utm_term=.csDEQ0dPg#.tn69m8k7e




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Really, Gorka? You have to go there and blame “the left” for this? Why don’t you guys take a look in the fucking mirror? If there’s one thing the Trump administration is particularly horrible at, among other things, is analogies. You know like how I compare them to a fly on a horse’s ass. Thank you! Well, here’s what Gorka said when talking about one of the Trump administration’s favorite boogeymen – “radial Islam”!

White House national-security aide Sebastian Gorka offered an unusual analogy to defend Trump's preference for referring to attacks by Islamist extremists as "radical Islamic terrorism" during an interview on MSNBC Tuesday, comparing the debate over terms to medical diagnoses.

MSNBC Live co-host Ali Veshi noted during an interview with Gorka that recent terrorist attacks in the West have had "little or no material or operational" connection to ISIS and cited some who have argued such attacks won't go away even with the demise of that terrorist group.

Asked about the reasoning behind the White House tactic of referring to "radical Islamic terrorism" when describing such attacks, Gorka said it would "jettison the political correctness of the last eight years," referring to the Obama administration's avoidance of that term in such cases.
http://www.businessinsider.com/sebastian-gorka-treating-radical-islamic-terrorism-like-flu-instead-of-cancer-analogy-2017-8




Really? You have to make the cancer analogy? We could say that about white supremacists – they are a cancer! And they’re spreading like mad! In fact despite that “Dr.” Gorka insists people call him “doctor”, he actually had to be reminded that Rex Tillerson is fourth in line to the presidency!

Update: Gorka is now saying his comments have been misconstrued and that he was merely saying the media shouldn’t ask Tillerson questions about military matters. “I said for reporters to force our chief diplomat — the amazing Rex Tillerson — to give details of military options is nonsensical. He is the secretary of state. ... I was admonishing the journalist of the fake news-industrial complex ... who are demanding that he make the military case for action.”

For those worried that President Trump might get into nuclear war with North Korea, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson provided some solace Wednesday. “Americans should sleep well at night,” Tillerson said, tempering Trump’s promise to unleash “fire and fury” on North Korea if it continued to threaten the United States. Tillerson emphasized that no conflict was imminent.

But now another Trump administration voice is suggesting that we shouldn’t pay Tillerson much mind.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/08/10/more-drama-in-trumpland-gorka-publicly-shuns-tillersons-effort-to-scale-back-north-korea-red-line/?utm_term=.68e5d3921d5c




Yeah of course he’ll deny it! That’s part of the “take no responsibility” that this administration is known for! That’s Sebastian Gorka, this week’s:



[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Alex Jones
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-15

Damn it, I was hoping just for one week I wouldn’t have to talk about Alex Jones and his stupid show. I mean come on, do I really have to? Shit, OK. We originally were going to talk about Roger Stone here, but this is much crazier. Well, Alex Jones cranked the batshit up way past 11, and while the NFL is doing some major damage control in the wake of all the protests, Alex Jones definitely isn’t helping things. I mean did you know that Colin Kaepernick isn’t a person – he’s a tool of the globalists to intentionally turn white people racist? Neither did I!

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist host of Infowars, claimed that Colin Kaepernick and other NFL players who choose to kneel during the national anthem are part of a larger plot by white globalists to make American white people racist.

During yesterday’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones criticized Kaepernick’s decision to silently kneel during performances of the “Star Spangled Banner” before NFL games, which Kaepernick did to raise awareness to systematic injustices that African American people face in the U.S. legal system.

Jones slammed the football player for protesting racial injustice despite being adopted by “white saviors” as a child and earning millions of dollars in professional sports before alleging that Kaepernick and the players who have joined him in protest are complicit in a larger conspiracy to make white people racist.

“And of course this is all meant to divide America. It’s social engineering by the globalists to make whites racist,” Jones claimed.

Jones continued, “You know what whites are is lazy, candy-ass, politically correct trash. There’s not much worse in this country than white people, to get to the end of the day. They’re the ones all saying the white people are the devil.”.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-candy-ass-white-globalists-are-using-nfl-protests-to-make-america-racist/




We got to keep this operation afloat people! Now it's time to buy my new battle grade Infowars Tactical Helmets! Just $149.99 and they can protect your head from all the leftists you will encounter at your protest rallies! They can be fitted to fit any size head whether you’re a six or a 10. In fact we have experts here to tell you more why you need this! But this isn’t the only crazy thing that happened this week. So you know Jimmy Kimmel has been railing on the GOP in regards to health care. Well, here’s the monologue.



Well, if you saw Alex Jones or the Alex Jones Channel…

Jimmy Kimmel has been going after Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) for a health care plan that is likely to leave millions more people uninsured.

In May, Cassidy appeared on Kimmel’s show after the comedian’s infant son underwent surgery for a preexisting heart condition, and assured the talk show host that any Senate health care legislation would pass what he deemed “the Jimmy Kimmel test.”

That now doesn’t seem to be the case, which is why Kimmel attacked Cassidy this week during his show monologues.

Now, crackpot conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is going after Kimmel.

On Thursday, Jones went on one of his typical unhinged rants, this time to tell the ABC late-night host to stop using his son to “pimp” Obamacare.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/alex-jones-jimmy-kimmel-obamacare_us_59c4369fe4b0cdc773301770




I like that one! But would you be surprised at all to see Alex and guy who watches Inglorious Basterds and roots for Hitler, Jack Posobiec, go full racist? And you never go full racist!

ALEX JONES (HOST): You’re supposed to get on your knees at midnight or in the early morning and tell God you repent on things you’ve done. You don’t tell in a football stadium, “Mainstream media: you’re my God, I am bad, tell me what to do.” That is sick.

JACK POSOBIEC: And you realize they’re not taking a knee to Trump, so I’d love to talk to any one of these guys and say, “Who are you taking a knee to? Who specifically do you have in mind when you’re taking that knee?”

JONES: They’re kneeling to political correctness and hating white people.

POSOBIEC: That’s all it is.

JONES: They’re kneeling to white genocide --

POSOBIEC: And they won’t admit it.

JONES: -- and then I don’t want anybody to be genocided (sic). But everywhere it’s: “Kill the whites, kill the whites.” The universities: “No whites can come on campus.” It’s a bunch of weird white people going, “We need to kill all the white people.” Just everywhere. Hillary: “We lost because of white people.” It’s the most racist, weird, anti-Martin Luther King crap I’ve ever heard. Martin Luther King would say, “You people are crazy.”
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/09/26/alex-jones-protesting-nfl-players-are-kneeling-white-genocide/218051




There you have it. Not only did Alex Jones make up a new word - "genocided", racists are now quoting one of the greatest civil rights leaders of all time. Bravo. Well done. Yeah so Alex Jones and Jack Posobiec both bought the "white genocide" meme and went full on racist. But now the tables are turning on Alex Jones! Mmmmm… Hmmmm… Yes my pretties! You know that old adage “they hate us because they ain’t us”? Alex might want to look that phrase up because his ex wife is a hater:

Keeping up with these Joneses is a contact sport.

Kelly Jones, the long suffering ex-wife of conservative firebrand Alex Jones, is fighting back against the “InfoWars” host with a media campaign of her own.

At 3 p.m. on Wednesday, Kelly plans to launch her new website alexjonesx.com, which will detail her ongoing custody battle with the blustering conspiracy theorist.

“I’m going to point out all of his horrible outrageous behavior, but I’m not out to disparage the man,” she tells us. “He is the father of my children. I’m standing up to the bully.”
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/alex-jones-ex-wife-declares-info-war-custody-battle-article-1.3506902





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: [link: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029876258 | Idiots #3-23]

You know what time it is? It’s time for this!



Yes – by now you should know that people are people, and people are dumb. And who’s stupid this week? Why it’s idiots with guns! And when a gun accidentally goes off, can you be surprised at all that there’s no good guys with guns to stop the shootings from happening? Well, we go to the Volunteer State, Tennessee for this insane story.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — A man accidentally shot himself and his wife at an east Tennessee church on Thursday while he was showing off his gun during a discussion on recent church shootings, police said.

A man in his 80s pulled out a .380 caliber Ruger handgun and said, "I carry my handgun everywhere," according to Parks.

He removed the magazine, cleared the chamber, and showed the gun to some of the men in the church. He put the magazine back in, apparently loaded a round in the chamber, and returned the gun to its holster, Parks said.

"Evidently he just forgot that he re-chambered the weapon," Parks said.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/16/two-accidentally-shot-church-while-discussing-church-shootings/873053001/




Next in People Are Dumb – the movie Borat. Yeah it’s been 10 years since that movie was in the theaters, and frat boy idiots and comedians like me *STILL* quote that movie. But if you ever actually go to Kazakhstan, maybe don’t do this! I hear they hate that movie in Kazakhstan.

(PRAGUE) — Six Czech tourists who dressed up in skimpy swimsuits made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Borat” have reportedly been detained by authorities in Kazakhstan’s capital Astana.

Sporting lime green “mankinis” and black wigs, the men had hoped to take a picture in front of the “I Love Astana” sign.

But local police took action, detaining them on Friday and fining them 22,500 tenge ($68) each for committing minor hooliganism, according to the Kazakh news website informburo.kz.
http://time.com/5026484/tourists-detained-borat-kazakhstan/




Next up in People Are Dumb – idiots with guns! And there’s a lot of idiots with guns out there. Hey, I know what country I live in! Well, specifically – this is idiots with guns in church!

TELLICO PLAINS, Tenn. — An 81-year-old man who accidentally shot his wife and himself at church while showing off his gun won't face charges or lose his carry permit, police said Friday.

Wayne Reid shot himself in the hand and his 80-year-old wife, Kathy, through the abdomen around 1 p.m. ET Thursday while showing off his Ruger pistol to a fellow parishioner at First United Methodist Church.

"As far as I know, he'll get to keep it," police Chief Russ Parks said of the firearm. "No one who was in the church is wishing to press charges, and we in the police department think they've suffered enough."

Tellico Plains is a community of fewer than 1,000 residents on the edge of the Smoky Mountains about 50 miles southwest of Knoxville, Tenn.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/11/17/accidental-church-shooting-gun-permit/876435001/




Next up – we go to Sweden for this one. And what do you think of when you think of Sweden? I know – Swedish meatballs! Man, I love a good plate of Swedish meatballs!

Swedish meatballs are always a welcome sight on the dinner table, but less so when 20 tonnes of them block the road in front of you.

This is the spectacle that faced unwary drivers on 15 November along the Skara-Lundsbrunn road in southwest Sweden, when icy evening conditions meant that the trailer of a lorry skidded into a ditch, taking the meatball mountain with it, Skara Lans Tidning reports.

The lorry itself remained on the road, but all the meatballs needed to be first offloaded onto the carriageway before the trailer could be hauled out of the ditch.

"The trailer was heavier than the lorry itself, and it is very slippery out there," police officer Tommy Emriksson told Swedish TV.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42027986




Bork! Bork! Bork! Ah, I love the Swedish chef! Next up in People Are Dumb, we go to Utah, where this man is trying to get the name of a local high school’s mascot changed because of a truly bizarre reason!

The mythical namesake of Arizona's capital and biggest city has appeared in countless pieces of literature, on flags and in even comic books, but one Utah parent is concerned that the phoenix should not be the mascot of a new high school in his town.

Farmington High School is set to open in 2018. Kyle Fraughton, of Farmington, doesn't think phoenix should be the school's mascot because the word sounds similar to "penises" when pluralized.

Chris Williams, a district spokesman, said administrators remain confident students will mirror the reputation of the mascot.

"We don’t see anything about the plural version of phoenix having anything to do what’s going to be happening at the school or on the football field," he told Salt Lake City's Fox 13. "We think students are going to rise to the occasion."
http://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/people/2017/11/14/z-utah-school-mascot-phoenix-plural/861982001/




Next up in People Are Dumb – I can kind of see why conservatives make fun of liberals for needing safe spaces, and this one really doesn’t help. Is Steve Martin’s classic SNL bit about King Tut really *THAT* offensive? Well…

Steve Martin’s seminal “King Tut” sketch is being blasted as cultural appropriation by a group of students at a prestigious liberal arts college in Oregon after the classic "Saturday Night Live" parody was played in a humanities course.

The sketch, created by Martin in 1978 to parody the hysteria and commercialization surrounding a traveling Tutankhamun exhibit, has outraged students who say the sketch is the cultural equivalent of blackface because one of the side actors emerged from a sarcophagus with his face painted gold.

"That’s like somebody … making a song just littered with the n-word everywhere,” a member of the group, Reedies Against Racism, told The Atlantic. “The gold face of the saxophone dancer leaving its tomb is an exhibition of blackface.”

Students first took issue with the video when it was played during a humanities course, which is designed for students to “to engage in original, open-ended, critical inquiry.” Students said they should not be forced to take the course until different coursework is given because the sketch is racist.
http://www.newsweek.com/steve-martins-king-tut-sketch-causing-controversy-one-college-campus-717418




Yeah fucking seriously. I love Steve Martin, I’ve seen him perform this song live. And you know what? I wasn’t offended! Yeah don’t get offended people! Finally for People Are Dumb this week, psychopaths. Yes, psychopaths are a thing. Can you guess which musician is most popular with your average psychopath? Bet you didn’t think it was gonna be him did you!

A new study has found that psychopaths are more likely to enjoy the music of Justin Bieber.

The Washington Post reports of a recent study conducted by Pascal Wallisch, Psychology professor at New York University, and Nicole Leal, a recent NYU graduate.

The study tried to determine a correlation between music taste and psychopathy, with more than 190 NYU psychology students asked to rate their own level of psychopathy and then to rate tracks they were played.

Songs found to be more popular with those deemed more likely to be psychopaths included Bieber’s ‘What Do You Mean’, Eminem‘s ‘Lose Yourself’ and ‘No Diggity’ by Blackstreet.

Read more at http://www.nme.com/news/music/psychopaths-like-justin-bieber-2159358#GmxpW2e2QzAfg9Lv.99





[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #19: China
[br] [/font]
[br]

From: Idiots #3-19



Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that my home state of California has a Russia problem, Japan has a nuclear problem, and South Korea just might go nuclear. Literally. Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]China[/font]



Welcome to China everybody! China is a land of many wonders. It’s the home to one of the original man made wonders of the world – the Great Wall Of China! As seen in the recent Matt Damon movie “The Great Wall”:



Because nothing says a movie about ancient China like Matt Damon! China is also the home of Tiananmen Square – where a Chinese student famously stood up against General Mao’s tanks leading to that iconic image that is known around the world. China is also the home to Hong Kong – which famously was a British territory until 1997 when it was annexed by China and became part of the mainland. China is also home to Asia’s gambling mecca of Macau – famously seen in the 2012 James Bond flick Skyfall. That movie also managed to make the Chinese city of Shanghai look absolutely amazing. Think of it like Las Vegas – where half the city is dominated by giant, towering casinos and the rest is dominated by ancient culture – something Las Vegas really doesn’t have much of. There’s also one of the most populated cities in the world – Shanghai that was recently the host of the 2008 summer games. But what else is China the home of? Well it’s the home of crazy dictator Xi Jinping for one thing – a guy so insane he’s about to get his own 14 point political theory!

It will be known as "Xi Jinping Thought" and has 14 principles, the agency says.

The theory is likely to be incorporated into the constitution of the ruling Communist Party, which would strengthen Xi Jinping's position at the top.

He would be the first leader to lend his name to a political theory since Deng Xiaoping, who retired in 1989.

The only other leader to do so was Mao Zedong.

Xinhua says the Communist Party of China has created "Xi Jinping Thought on Socialism with Chinese Characteristics for a New Era".
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-41677062




Yeah because we all know what a sane, rational leader Mao Zedong was! Such a beacon, a shining example of humanity! Yeah, and I’m Elvis Presley! Well at least the deep fried peanut butter, banana and bacon Elvis Presley. Even the least diplomatic diplomat the US ever cooked up – Rex Tillerson, has had enough of his madness:

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson signaled the Trump administration’s growing impatience with China on issues from North Korea to trade, saying now’s the time to go public with concerns that the U.S. has raised privately with the country’s leaders for months.

In an interview at the State Department in Washington, Tillerson said Thursday that the U.S. isn’t necessarily frustrated with China but made clear the administration wants more progress.

“I think it is important that China knows -- OK, we’ve been having these conversations now for about six months,” Tillerson said. “We’re expecting to see some change, we’re expecting to see some movement, whether it’s North Korea, or whether it’s South China Sea, or whether it’s trade.”

Tillerson’s remarks follow a speech he gave Wednesday in which he accused China of undermining the “international, rules-based order” and called it out for “provocative actions in the South China Sea.” He visited China earlier this month and is likely to accompany President Donald Trump on an early November trip through Asia, including a stop in Beijing.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-19/tillerson-signals-impatience-with-china-on-north-korea-trade




And you know what else China’s the home of? It’s the home of Foxconn – an electronics conglomerate that pretty much manufacturers anything you use that has an on / off switch. In fact I’d be willing to bet good money that the device you’re viewing this on right now was made by Foxconn! And we all know how Foxconn treats its’ low level employees. But what about its’ middle managers?

Hundreds of workers streamed through dark streets, blocking an entrance to an Apple iPhone supplier's factory in eastern China to protest unpaid bonuses and factory reassignments, two witnesses and China Labor Watch, a New York based non-profit group, said Thursday.

The protest Wednesday night at Jabil Inc.'s Green Point factory in Wuxi city prompted Apple to launch an investigation and vow to redress the payment discrepancies. "We are requiring Jabil to send a comprehensive employee survey to ascertain where gaps exist in payment and they must create an action plan that ensures all employees are paid for the promised bonus immediately," Apple said Thursday in an email to China Labor Watch.

The incident highlights the complexity of overseeing global supply chains that can involve hundreds of manufacturers and subcontractors, as well as third-party labor brokers — and their subcontractors — that are tasked with recruiting workers for those factories. Companies differ in the amount of responsibility they are willing to take on. Apple stepped up oversight and disclosure following a spate of negative reports about worker suicides and injuries at suppliers.
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/wireStory/workers-iphone-supplier-china-protest-unpaid-bonuses-50588397




Yes holy shit indeed! You know what else China’s the home of? It’s the home of the International Space Station’s far more jankey brother – the Chinese Space Lab! You might have seen this space station in the recent Sandra Bullock space disaster flick “Gravity”. And when it comes crashing to earth in the forthcoming months – it could potentially kill a lot of us and damage a lot of property!

A defunct, yacht-sized Chinese space lab is expected to fall out of orbit and crash to Earth in the coming months.

China launched the eight-tonne Tiangong-1 satellite in 2011. Tiangong means "Heavenly Palace" in Chinese. The satellite, which is 12 metres long and 3.3 metres in diameter, was designed to test technology for a future space station. The Chinese space program used it for a series of spacecraft docking tests and visits from astronauts.

The space lab broke down and stopped functioning in March 2016. That means China's space agency no longer has control of it.

Chinese officials told the UN secretary general in May 2017 that Tiangong-1 was expected to re-enter Earth's atmosphere between October 2017 and April 2018.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/tiangong-1-reentry-1.4179421




I mean seriously – how do you explain that to Geico, Nationwide, or whatever you use for homeowner’s insurance? “Yeah there’s a piece of a fucking space station in my roof!”. China is also the home of one of the world’s most controversial human rights policies – the “one child” policy:

A new study of China’s one-child policy is roiling demography, sparking calls for the field’s leading journal to withdraw the paper. The controversy has ignited a debate over scholarly values in a discipline that some say often prioritizes reducing population growth above all else.

Chinese officials have long claimed that the one-child policy—in place from 1980 to 2016—averted some 400 million births, which they say aided global environmental efforts. Scholars, in turn, have contested that number as flawed. But in a paper published in the journal Demography in August, Daniel Goodkind—an analyst at the U.S. Census Bureau in Suitland, Maryland, who published as an independent researcher—argues that the figure may, in fact, have merit.

By extrapolating from countries that experienced more moderate fertility decline, Goodkind contends that birth-planning policies implemented after 1970 avoided adding between 360 million and 520 million people to China’s population. Because the momentum from that decline will continue into later generations, he suggests, the total avoided population could approach 1 billion by 2060. Some scholars worry such estimates could be used to justify, ex post facto, the policy’s existence, and feel that Goodkind’s criticisms of previous work fall outside the bounds of scholarly decorum.
http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/10/analysis-china-s-one-child-policy-sparks-uproar




Yeah I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. Is there anything good we can say about China or are they going to be like South Korea last week where the news got so dark we actually had to switch subjects? Well some good news is that they made your average die-hard Apple fanatic slightly less annoying by killing one of the Apple Watch’s key features:

The single wireless carrier supporting Apple's latest Apple Watch in China has ceased offering service for the device, the Wall Street Journal reported on Thursday.

China Unicom, one of three state-owned wireless carriers, initially offered cellular service for the Apple Watch Series 3 with LTE, but stopped supporting it on September 28, according to the report.

In the United States, the LTE Apple Watch is supported by all four major carriers for an additional charge of $10 per month. LTE service is the primary new feature on this year's Apple Watch model.
http://www.businessinsider.com/apple-watch-lte-wireless-service-not-supported-in-china-2017-10




[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

China is an interesting country. I hear it’s real difficult for tourists to get a tourist visa. If you’re thinking about moving here… I would say don’t.

Tourism: B
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: F
Liberal Appeal: D

Overall: D

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

We’re going to the land of Manila and the home of Donald Trump’s BFF Rodrigo Dutuerte as we visit the Philippenes! Man Asia isn’t nearly as fun as Europe or South America were!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Macklemore[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen my next guest will most likely get banned in China for this next song. His new album is called “Gemini” and it is quite excellent. Playing his new song “Willy Wonka”, give it up for my man Macklemore!





See you next week! If we still live through this week that is!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Flappers Comedy Club, Burbank, CA
Special Thanks To: Flappers Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
China Hosting: Capital Entertainment, Beijing
Macklemore Appears Courtesy Of: Bendo Music


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo
4 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Best Of Season 3 (Original Post) Initech Jan 2018 OP
K&R Scurrilous Jan 2018 #1
It's Wednesday malaise Jan 2018 #2
Can't wait for next week! Initech Jan 2018 #3
I can't wait malaise Jan 2018 #4
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Top 10 Conservative Idiot...