Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-2: What Can Brown Do For You? Edition (#100!)

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-2: What Can Brown Do For You? Edition (#100!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! We now have America's best 4G LTE rates with unlimited gigs! Switch today and save! Here it is people! This is edition #100!!! And we’re going to party! Because we have a little band joining us that I like to call The Foo Fighters! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Oh the kids love the Foo Fighters. That's right - Dave Grohl, Nate Mendel, Pat Smear, Chris Schifflet and Taylor Hawkins! One of the best hard rock bands working today. That’s right! But first we got a show to do. And speaking of partying, who parties harder than Andrew WK? I was originally going to talk about the epic clusterfuck that was the Clippers and Rockets game, but this is much better! So let's get some music for this one:

Yeah that's an awesome song. We need to get Andrew WK on the Top 10 at some point. So you're driving and a new song comes on the radio that happens to be the new Andrew WK single. A British fan was driving on England's M4 highway and says "Just heard Andrew WK's new single on the radio and now I have a speeding ticket.". Well, that started a twitter exchange between him and the Party Hard guy. So Andrew WK, the man himself, offers to pay the guy's speeding ticket. How badass is that? Yeah no we're not saying speed down the road while listening to some party music. Although we do that ourselves. Who doesn't love a good party while you're driving? Well, the story did have a happy ending because the motorist in question did ask instead that the singer donate the £100 cost of the ticket to charity. But in return, he gets to go to the next Andrew WK show in London. I mean yeah how awesome is that? I want Andrew WK to come party here! Let's do this shit! OK that’s enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to cover. But first Stephen Colbert is back and what did Trump really say – shithole or shithouse?

Whew, man did I pick the right week for the 100th edition or what? Man there was some absolutely crazy idiocy at hand this week. Number one this week has to go to Fox News (1) because, you know Donald Trump’s “Shithole Countries” comment has been all over the news, and Fox News has their lips firmly implanted on Trump’s ass. Taking the second slot, while Hawaii was under a state of extreme panic, Donald Trump (2) was golfing. At least be glad that’s all he was doing! In the third slot is also Donald Trump (3). You know what’s really a shithole? Donald Trump’s famed Mar-A-Lago resort which had tons of egregious inspection violations that were revealed last week. I am shocked! In the 4th slot is Joe Arpaio. Yeah he’s not going away, in fact he wants to get even more power. In the 5th slot is Sarah Huckabee Sanders (5). What do you do when your two year old is being annoying and accidentally uses your Amazon device to order an $80 toy? Trash Amazon using a government account! At number 6 is our weekly sermon on all trying to figure out why the most devoted are also the most crazy, Holy Shit (6), and this time we’re going to find out why they are so paranoid about the possibility of losing Trump. Taking the 7th slot, is the White Male Groper’s Club who is adding some new members, including Marvel’s Stan Lee and Netflix’s Aziz Ansari. At the number 8 slot, yeah, we got to talk about Alex Jones (8) again, and holy crap he continues to go off the deep end. You thought he was crazy last week? Well he’s even crazier again this week! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink”, and we are going to talk about the teenage craze where kids are daring each other to eat laundry detergent. Yes, this is a thing that exists. Finally this week we have the second stop of our World Tour 2018, and we’re heading to the scenic eastern European country of Poland. And then to celebrate keeping it 100, how about a little band called The Foo Fighters? Yay!!!!! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Fox News
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Number one this week easily goes to Fox News. They decide, you bend over. They are the ones who knock. You just sit there and nod politely. So while most of the world was horrified with what Trump said – you know what he said – about a certain group of countries that are deemed undesirable. Ah, who am I kidding? This is Trump! he said the word “shithole”! What can brown do for you? Yes, the guy who is calling himself the Commander In Chief, said that certain countries are “shithole countries”. I mean can you imagine the outcry if Obama said it? Well, Fox News has their lips firmly superglued to Trump’s ass this week because they did this:

WASHINGTON ― Most news networks reporting on President Donald Trump’s remarks about restricting immigrants from “shithole countries” notably didn’t shy away from using the vulgar word, and called the president’s insult what it was ― racist.

But over at Fox News, Trump’s network of choice, hosts and panelists were defending the president’s crude comments before shifting to other topics.

After The Washington Post on Thursday afternoon first reported Trump’s remarks at a White House meeting with lawmakers, “The Five” co-host Jesse Watters shrugged off the slur as the way ordinary Americans talk about “Haiti people.”

“If it’s true, this is how the forgotten men and women in America talk at the bar,” Watters said. “This is how Trump relates to people. If you’re at a bar, and you’re from Wisconsin, and you’re thinking, ‘They’re bringing in a bunch of Haiti people, or El Salvadorians, or people from Niger.’ This is how some people talk.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fox-news-trump-shithole_us_5a58aaa4e4b0720dc4c64a73

You know what, Fox News? You can go shove it up your shithole! And this isn’t even the worst thing he said this week! You know things are fucked up when “Commander In Chief Refers To Group Of Nations As Shitholes” isn’t even front page news. But Fox News isn’t the only ones denying this!

As some members of the GOP have rushed to defend Donald Trump’s description of certain countries as “shitholes,” one has gone further than most with the claim the president did not make the comment at all.

Senator David Purdue claimed in an interview with ABC’s This Week on Sunday that the president did not use the word “shithole,” despite the White House not having denied Trump made the comment.

“I’m telling you he did not use that word, George. And I’m telling you it’s a gross misrepresentation. How many times do you want me to say that?” Purdue told ABC host George Stephanopoulos of the White House meeting in which he reportedly used the phrase.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-shithole-republican-781005

Thank you Master Yoda! Strong denial is, young one must be full of hate! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering! But my favorite part of this whole thing is the guy who projected the term “shithole” onto the Trump Hotel in Washington DC.

Updated | Trump Hotel in downtown Washington DC got a surprise makeover last night—with the expletive President Donald Trump has used to describe developing world countries beamed onto its outer walls.

Video posted on Twitter shows the words “This Place is a Shithole” projected onto the walls of the hotel Saturday night, alongside poop emojis, and an arrow pointing at the establishment’s arched entrance.

In a meeting with lawmakers last week on protection for immigrants, Trump had reportedly called developing world countries including Haiti and some African states “shithole” countries. Trump's words have been described as "racist" by the U.N.'s human rights office.

Other messages beamed onto the building Saturday included “The President of the United States is a Known Racist and Nazi Sympathiser,” alluding to the president’s controversial comments after the Charlottesville white nationalist rally in August.
http://www.newsweek.com/trumps-shithole-slur-projected-trump-hotel-washington-780897

Can we show that?



I love that the word “shithole” is surrounded by poop emojis. You know – to heighten the atmosphere, and don’t think you want to make people forget what “shithole” means! But you know while Trump is working, or at least appears to be working, you can guarantee that he’s going to say or do something particularly insane. This isn’t going away though. Oh no!

MIAMI - As the controversy over President Donald Trump's comments about African and Haitian immigrants deepens, one South Florida lawmaker who was present at the contentious meeting is remaining out the fray.

Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart, a Miami Republican, was in the room Thursday when Trump reportedly described Haiti and some African nations as "shithole countries."

“This is a president that said things differently than clearly I would say them," Diaz-Balart told Local 10's Glenna Milberg Monday. "I will not comment on what may or may not have been said. The bottom line is I will not be in a position to solve this problem.”
https://www.local10.com/news/politics/diaz-balart-silent-on-trump-s-shithole-remarks

By the way, Trump and Fox News – you may have pissed off the wrong people by making this comment and defending this comment. Because who’s pissed off right now? They are!

President Trump’s comment about not wanting immigrants from “shithole countries,” — which he has unpersuasively denied — came in a very specific context: He was discussing with lawmakers under what conditions Temporary Protected Status for immigrants from El Salvador, Haiti, and Honduras might be renewed.

Temporary Protected Status, or TPS, grants people fleeing specific crises in specific countries who have entered the United States without any permanent legal status the right to be to be temporarily shielded from prosecution for illegal residency. It doesn’t give them a visa or permanent status, but it does let them live and work here legally for the time being.

In the ensuing uproar, some on the right have asserted that President Trump was really making a good point, however crudely: Maybe we don’t want immigrants from poor countries, who, they assume, are low-skill immigrants. The administration is known to support a more “skills based” immigration system, and maybe Trump was just, in a clumsy way, trying to articulate that?
https://www.vox.com/the-big-idea/2018/1/14/16890042/immigrants-trump-us-tps-shithole-countries-economic-outcomes

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We need to talk about addiction for a minute. You know that thing that happens when your favorite hobby of choice consumes nearly every aspect of your life? Well, our commander in chief is a golf addict. In fact, remember when he said this?

Yeah he has no time for golf. So unless you’re living under a rock, let’s put two and two together. So if Trump is so consumed by golf that he can’t tear himself away to do anything else? And you know how one of the first signs of spotting an addict is when they put themselves in harm’s way or hurt others? Well he definitely harmed others with what happened in Hawaii on Saturday.

A false alarm that warned of a ballistic missile headed for Hawaii sent the islands into a panic Saturday, with people abandoning cars in a highway and preparing to flee their homes until officials said the cellphone alert was a mistake.

In a conciliatory news conference later in the day, Hawaii officials apologized for the mistake and vowed to ensure it will never happen again.

Hawaii Emergency Management Agency Administrator Vern Miyagi said the error happened when someone hit the wrong button.

"We made a mistake," said Miyagi.

For nearly 40 minutes, it seemed like the world was about to end in Hawaii, an island paradise already jittery over the threat of nuclear-tipped missiles from North Korea.
http://www.wkyc.com/article/news/nation-world/hawaii-officials-mistakenly-warn-of-inbound-missile-apologize-for-pain-and-confusion/507-507760210

Oh calm down! We’re not gonna die! I mean did you see that part where they said they made a mistake! Hey they said they were sorry! So what does this have to do with Trump and addiction? Well, guess where he was during that 38 minutes? Think of this as his “My Pet Goat” moment. If you don’t know what that is, Google it.

Critics are blasting President Donald Trump for continuing to golf Saturday while frantic Hawaii residents rushed for cover after a false cell phone alarm about an incoming ballistic missile.

The president was on the course at his Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, after the alert was issued at 1:09 p.m. EST, according to press pool reports. His motorcade didn’t leave the club for Mar-a-Lago until 1:38 p.m.

Although Hawaii’s Emergency Management Agency quickly tweeted that the initial warning was an error, it took 38 minutes before a second mobile alert declared the first a false alarm. Officials said the wrong button had been pushed.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-golf-hawaii-missile-alarm_us_5a5a9201e4b04f3c55a32242

OK so maybe I was wrong about addiction! At least this is one time we can be glad Trump was on the golf course - we might all be dead right now! Be glad that this is one time Trump didn’t have Fox News blaring 24/7 while eating cheeseburgers in bed! But guess what? That’s got even high level security officials pissed off!

Hawaii’s botched missile alert Saturday gave a former Obama administration official an opportunity to tee off on President Donald Trump -- even though the false alarm was a state-level gaffe.

“Thank God the President was playing golf,” Patrick Granfield, an ex-strategic communications director at the Pentagon who now lectures at Georgetown University, tweeted just hours after Hawaii's false alarm.

Trump was on the links at the Trump International Golf Course in Florida after the emergency alert was issued at approximately 1:09 p.m., according to pool reports. He left for Mar-a-Lago approximately 30 minutes later.

When another Twitter user said that she wished Granfield had not used the opportunity to take a “dig” at Trump, Granfield doubled down.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/01/14/obama-era-pentagon-official-knocks-trump-for-golfing-during-hawaii-false-alarm.html

We’re still not gonna die! Come on, they just pushed the wrong button, and our commander in chief was still on the golf course. Be glad that’s all he was doing! But this only further ignites the controversy Trump started about presidents golfing, which we can only assume was a half assed attempt to insult Obama. But the damage has been done:

Shortly after 8 a.m. local time Saturday, an employee at the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency settled in at the start of his shift. Among his duties that day was to initiate an internal test of the emergency missile warning system: essentially, to practice sending an emergency alert to the public without actually sending it to the public.

It was a drill the agency had started with some regularity last November — around the time Hawaii reinstated its Cold War-era nuclear warning sirens amid growing fears of an attack by North Korea — and so, while the tests were not yet routine enough to be predictable, they were not entirely new either, according to an agency spokesman.

Around 8:05 a.m., the Hawaii emergency employee initiated the internal test, according to a timeline released by the state. From a drop-down menu on a computer program, he saw two options: “Test missile alert” and “Missile alert.” He was supposed to choose the former; as much of the world now knows, he chose the latter, an initiation of a real-life missile alert.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2018/01/14/hawaii-missile-alert-how-one-employee-pushed-the-wrong-button-and-caused-a-wave-of-panic/?utm_term=.d71eb9191eaa

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know what’s really a shithole? Mar-A-Lago. Yes, the Florida mega mansion that was built for cereal heir Marjorie Post and currently serves as Donald Trump’s Winter White House, was listed on Bon Appetite’s list of places to eat that are slightly better than dumpsters. Excuse me a minute. I love that graphic by the way. I mean come on, I think most people would rather eat at Hot Dog On A Stick. So this week Florida’s health inspectors nearly condemned the place after finding all kinds of egregious violations. Let’s go through the list.

Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Resort in Palm Beach was cited for maintenance violations which could have posed a threat to public health, safety and welfare, according to a recent inspection of the 1920s beachfront property.

The bed and breakfast part of the resort required emergency repairs to pass its most recent inspection in November, according to state records reported by the Miami Herald. The B&B was cited for two high priority violations “which could pose a direct or significant threat” to the public, according to the inspection code. Those included the absence of smoke detectors capable of alerting hearing impaired guests through flashing lights, and chunks of missing concrete exposing steel rebar on a staircase.

Meanwhile, the exclusive club’s kitchens were cited for 15 violations. The two main kitchens were written up for improper food storage, including milk that was stored at the wrong temperature and hot dogs stored on the ground floor of the freezer, according to the records. The kitchens passed the inspection, however, and did not need to be rechecked.

This isn’t the first time Mar-a-Lago’s catering services have prompted sanitation concerns. In February 2017, just days before the arrival of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, inspectors found sushi fish that had not been subject to necessary treatment for parasites, and cited the club for storing food in two defunct coolers which reportedly reached temperatures that could spoil fresh food.
http://time.com/5103754/trump-mar-a-lago-poor-maintenance/

Yes, this is not at all surprising given what a fat, lazy, unstable, half assed effort Trump gives on a daily basis. So if you’re keeping score at home, chunks of missing concrete, exposed rebar, which could pose a “direct or significant threat to the public”. What else did inspectors find?

Hot dogs stored on the walk-in freezer floor and missing concrete from a staircase that could cause someone to fall were just two of more than 15 health and maintenance violations President Donald Trump’s Florida golf club was dinged for during an inspection last November.

Records from an inspection before Thanksgiving on November 8, reported by the Mail Online, showed maintenance at the resort’s B&B lacking, with two high priority violations including missing smoke detectors for the hearing impaired and exposed steel rebar in a staircase that wasn’t covered by concrete.

Looking inside the club’s two main kitchens, inspectors found 15, mostly basic, violations of the state’s restaurant standards. Staff, they wrote in their report, weren’t tracking the expiry dates on some food and inspectors pulled expired curry sauce from the freezer.
http://www.newsweek.com/hot-dogs-floor-trumps-mar-lago-add-multiple-food-and-maintenance-violations-781976

Excuse me a minute… OK I feel better. At least if you’re eating at Hot Dog On A Stick, you’re already aware that your corn dog was probably on the floor at some point after the clerk dropped it in the lemonade thinking it was the deep fryer. Of course, if you’re also eating at Hot Dog On A Stick, what the fuck are you doing eating at Hot Dog On A Stick? You know you passed at least 20 other restaurants on the way, and they’re probably all so much better for you! But you just had to have that corn dog, didn’t you? All right, I am getting off topic here. But back to Mar A Shithole… you know who is one of the biggest hirers of Haitians? Yup, you guessed it!

Donald Trump’s offensive comments about Haiti and other countries amid talks about extending temporary protected status for immigrants could come back to haunt him in more ways than one.

Beyond any political ramifications, it could blow back on his favorite resort property. Mar-A-Lago, sometimes dubbed the “Winter White House,” reportedly employs more Haitians than nearly any other nationality. (Romania is the only other one that comes close, according to The New Yorker.)

The club applied for and received 70 H-2B visas for its recent 2017-2018 season. The H-2B is a visa that is targeted to low-cost, low-skilled workers and is not under any executive review. The H1-B, which has been in the news, provides visas for technical employees.
http://fortune.com/2018/01/12/donald-trump-haiti-mar-a-lago/

Yeah so the country that Trump called a shithole has more people working at his shithole than anywhere else in Miami! Let’s just let that sink in for a minute! All though there might be more Haitians outside Mar-A-Lago than inside!

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Members of the South Florida Haitian community were protesting President Donald Trump by marching across a bridge connecting Palm Beach to West Palm Beach.

Hundreds of protesters gathered on the West Palm Beach side of the Southern Boulevard bridge Monday morning, marching across the bridge that leads to Mar-a-Lago.

The protesters were demanding an apology from the president amid reports that Trump used vulgar language to refer to Haiti and African countries.
https://www.local10.com/news/florida/palm-beach-county/haitians-protest-trump-mlk-day-west-palm-beach

But back to the Mar-A-Lago inspections for a minute. Hey audience – what’s the over / under on what Mar-A-Lago’s initiation fee? I got $50K… $100K… $400K… higher? Lower? Well, those of you guessing six figures are more are pretty damn close!

A year after the discovery of foods that could sicken people at President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, his Winter White House was just cited by inspectors for poor maintenance.

Never mind that it costs $200,000 in initiation fees to join the exclusive club, which has two restaurants and a bed-and-breakfast.

Fresh state records show the B&B needed emergency repairs in order to pass the latest inspection in November.

Trump’s club, located on a beachfront property where the historic main house was built in the 1920s for cereals heiress Marjorie Merriweather Post, was cited Nov. 8 for two violations deemed high priority: the lack of smoke detectors capable of alerting the hearing impaired through flashing bright lights; and slabs of concrete missing from a staircase, exposing steel rebar that could cause someone to fall.
http://www.miamiherald.com/entertainment/ent-columns-blogs/jose-lambiet/article194784609.html

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[font size="8"]Joe Arpaio
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This year – all 435 Congressional seats, 18 Senate seats, and 15 governorships are up for grabs. That means it’s literally anyone’s game. And think of this like a music festival. You will have lots of hot young and crazy talent you’ve never heard before. Then you have your tried and trues – the ones who put in the time and work and still put on a show you can count on. And then there’s the headliners – the big draws, the people who will sell the place out. The GOP already got one headliner out of the way when we sent child molester and the cowboy who your mama really doesn’t want you to grow up to be, Roy Moore, packing. Now comes the guy who’s headlining Night#2 – Joe Arpaio!

The entrance of former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio into the open Arizona Senate race was like a bull entering a china shop. The question is whether the former law enforcement official will be a boon or a millstone around the party’s neck, the way Roy Moore was for Alabama Republicans in the state’s special election for the U.S. Senate.

Will Arizona 2018 Look Like Alabama 2017 as Arpaio Enters the Race?

When Sen. Jeff Flake announced that he would not run for another term, it looked like a rare opportunity for Democrats to pick up a Senate seat. That was especially the case since the first candidate to announce her bid was former State Senator Kelli Ward. She challenged Sen. John McCain in the primaries two years ago and has the benefit of having run a statewide race.

He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Mmmmmmmmmm… yes! Mmmmmmmm… yes! My pretties, he is back all right! That’s right the 85 year old – just like Jack Nicholson’s character from the Shining, Joe Arpaio, is tanned, rested, and ready, and he’s coming for Jeff Flake. Flakey! And would you expect that he went from Zero to Birther in under 60 seconds?

A day after Joe Arpaio officially launched his bid to be the next U.S. senator from Arizona, the controversial former sheriff returned to a polarizing question that was seemingly put to bed in public by his party’s own standard-bearer:

Where was Barack Obama really born?

Arpaio told CNN’s Chris Cuomo on Wednesday that he still thinks Obama’s birth certificate is fake, even though the biggest fanner of the birther flame — President Trump — said in 2016 that he believes Obama was born in Hawaii, not Kenya.

“You believe that President Obama’s birth certificate is a phony?” Cuomo asked on his CNN show Wednesday night.

“No doubt about it. No doubt about it,” Arpaio replied, seemingly aggrieved about Cuomo bringing the issue up. “We have the evidence.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2018/01/11/joe-arpaio-is-back-and-brought-his-undying-obama-birther-theory-with-him/?utm_term=.1d1119c7f1b7

Really? My ass has evidence and you don’t see me running for Senate! Thank you! But it’s good to know that Sheriff Joe has some good company. And you know they say you can always judge a person by the company they keep:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who recently announced his run for Senate, appeared today on Infowars to thank conspiracy theorist shock jock Alex Jones for his continued support.

Arpaio appeared on “The Alex Jones Show” to promote his new campaign to fill the Senate seat currently held by Sen. Jeff Flake and express his gratitude for Jones’ continued support of his political career.

Last year, Arpaio was convicted of criminal contempt for knowingly violating a federal judge’s order regarding racial profiling and was later pardoned by President Trump. During that time, Arpaio made multiple appearances on Infowars.

Today, Jones told his listeners that it was important that Infowars fans donate and volunteer for Arpaio’s campaign because Democrats in Congress are “trying to get enough votes to impeach the president.” Jones posed the question: “Could it be Trump that saved Arpaio from a fraudulent investigation and then Arpaio saves Trump?”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/joe-arpaio-courts-infowars-in-his-run-for-senate/

Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him, did you? And you think you’re so smart! But it’s good to know that Alex Jones is going full on white supremacist by supporting Sheriff Joe . And guess what? Ol’ Joe’s going full in on his support for Trump’s “shithole” comment. Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be shitholes. Let them be cowboys and players and such…

If you don’t understand why some people continue to support President Donald Trump no matter what he does or says, former Sheriff Joe Arpaio offers a simple explanation.

Arpaio is an uncomplicated man, and he offers an uncomplicated explanation for what is, essentially, his complete and uncomplicated support for Trump.

Arpaio was on MSNBC speaking with Ari Melber about the former sheriff’s run for the U.S. Senate.

Melber asks Arpaio about reports that during a meeting with members of Congress concerning immigration the president got upset when there was talk of immigrants from Haiti and African countries, saying, “Why are we having all these people from s--hole countries come here?"
https://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/op-ed/ej-montini/2018/01/12/joe-arpaio-supports-donald-trumps-s-hole-comment/1028865001/

So Sheriff Joe and Infowars are going full on racist. Because that’s what we need a heavy dose of – some good old fashioned white supremacy! Need I remind people of all the heinous crimes that Joe was already accused of? But Sheriff Joe is going to face some stiff competition from his favorite opponents! No, not that guy. Definitely not those guys. But these guys!

Yenni Sanchez had thought her work was finished.

Spared from the threat of deportation by the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, she campaigned to oust Joe Arpaio when he unsuccessfully ran for reelection as Maricopa County sheriff in 2016. She knocked on hundreds of doors in south Phoenix’s predominantly Latino neighborhoods to register voters. She made phone calls, walked on college campuses. Her message was direct, like the name of the group she worked with, Bazta Arpaio, a take on the Spanish word basta — enough Arpaio.

But now, the 85-year-old former sheriff is back and running for Senate. Sanchez, who had planned to step away from politics to focus on her studies at Grand Canyon University, is back as well, organizing once more.

“If he thinks he can come back and terrorize the entire state like he did Maricopa County, it’s not going to happen,” Sanchez, 20, said. “I’m not going to let it happen.”
http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-pol-arpaio-latino-voters-20180114-story.html

&t=1s


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[font size="8"]Sarah Huckabee Sanders
[br] [/font] [br]

So you know those Alexa devices that are all the rage right now. You can use it to do just about anything. Alexa, tell the bartender that I would like another Jack & Coke please! *Alexa* Bartender, I would like another Jack & Coke. Ah, see? It works! Now where's my drink at? But seriously people – turn off the auto order feature! Because that’s what happened to Trump spokesperson and woman whose curtains are most likely covered in cat hair, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who caught her two year old ordering an $80 Batman toy from Alexa.

The White House’s liberal social media policy apparently extends beyond Donald Trump.

On Sunday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the president's press secretary, used the official White House Twitter account not to share news pertinent to the American public but to complain that her 2-year-old child used her Amazon Echo device to order a Batman action figure.

“Alexa, we have a problem if my 2 year old can order a Batman toy by yelling ‘Batman!’ over and over again into the Echo,” wrote Sanders, who has two other children.
http://www.newsweek.com/sarah-sanders-uses-official-white-house-twitter-handle-complain-amazons-alexa-781351

Yeah because we need to write negative reviews of Batman toys now! I mean… is this bad parenting? Or is it flat out laziness? Or is it a combination of all of the above? I mean it’s Sarah Sanders, she’s employed by Trump. They’re known to do everything half assed!

We're perched in an era where the very definition of intelligence is being questioned.

The intelligence of our government and the intelligence of our gadgets.

It seems as if almost every new gadget claims to be smart. But are they really stable geniuses, these devices?

I ask because White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders isn't impressed with the intelligence of her Amazon Echo.
https://www.cnet.com/news/white-house-press-secretary-sarah-sanders-amazon-echo-on-twitter/

You know Sarah, blaming Alexa for your kid ruining your order history is like blaming Boo! 2 for ruining your Halloween. You could do it, but come on, you’re stating the obvious here. But at least Sarah’s two year old knows what superheroes he likes!

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is calling out Amazon after her two-year-old child was able to use the Echo to purchase an $80 Batman toy.

Sanders used her official White House Twitter account on Sunday to complain that the company’s Echo device allowed her young son to purchase the toy by mistake.

"Alexa, we have a problem if my 2 year old can order a Batman toy by yelling 'Batman!' over and over again into the Echo,” Sanders, who has three children, tweeted on Sunday.
http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/369026-sanders-calls-out-amazon-after-2-year-old-orders-batman-toy-using-echo

Oh man that makes me want to go watch the Dark Knight right now. Love those movies. So back to reality what makes this so crazy? Maybe Sarah was making the whole thing up and just wanted an excuse to attack Amazon. Never mind that Jeff Bezos did this:

A number of tech companies and executives have voiced support of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program. But Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and his wife MacKenzie have just given $33 million in support to DACA recipients, also known as Dreamers. The two just donated the money to TheDream.US, which provides scholarships to Dreamers, and their donation will give 1,000 DACA recipients money to attend college. It's the largest donation in history of TheDream.US. "My dad came to the US when he was 16 as part of Operation Pedro Pan," Jeff Bezos said in a statement. "He landed in this country alone and unable to speak English. With a lot of grit and determination -- and the help of some remarkable organizations in Delaware -- my dad became an outstanding citizen, and he continues to give back to the country that he feels blessed him in so many ways. MacKenzie and I are honored to be able to help today's Dreamers by funding these scholarships."
https://www.engadget.com/2018/01/12/bezos-donates-33-million-dreamers-scholarship/

In the words of Sarah’s employer – WRONG! SAD! UNBELIEVABLE! But we think Sarah might have been making this whole thing up! It really is sad.

On Sunday, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders used her official government Twitter account to complain that her two-year-old had allegedly ordered a $79.99 action figure by “yelling ‘Batman!’ over and over again at her Alexa-enabled Amazon Echo.

If this were true, it would certainly be a convenient way for Sanders to score some points with her boss, who has repeatedly accused Amazon of not paying fictional “internet taxes” (a confused reference to state sales tax), being a tax shelter, and screwing over the U.S. Postal Service on delivery rates. Also, it would be very bad if a two-year-old repeatedly screaming “Batman!” could in fact end up with an account owner being charged $79.99 for a toy.

However, as TechCrunch noted, despite several attempts, no one has actually been able to replicate Alexa ordering said action figure just because someone yelled about Batman at it. Amazon’s support documentation notes that ordering anything via voice requires making a deliberate purchase request and again verbally confirming the order.
https://gizmodo.com/sarah-huckabee-sanders-is-probably-making-up-this-crap-1822099223

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes everyone it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For it is our understanding that in the darkest of times, we turn to the holiest among us. And even then we are told that the holiest among us are full of:



Welcome to our weekly mass everybody! And once again give it up for the Top 10 Gospel Choir, how great are they? Well of course it’s our weekly due diligence to find out exactly why the most devoted of us are also the most batshit fucking crazy. So who is crazy this week? Well the Christian right always loves to decry their favorite punching bag – “activist judges”! And then there’s Mat Staver, who said this:

Anti-LGBTQ Religious Right activist Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel appeared on VCY America’s “Crosstalk” radio program yesterday, where he asserted that gay people should not be allowed to serve as judges because they are incapable of being objective and fair in cases involving religious liberty for Christians.

Asked about Andrew McDonald, who was recently nominated to serve as chief justice of the Connecticut Supreme Court and, if confirmed, will be the first openly gay chief justice on any state court in the country, Staver was not shy about voicing his opposition.

“Here’s the problem with it beyond the issue of the morality of this,” Staver said. “Beyond the issue of other consequences is the fact that what we typically see is someone’s identity, their being, completely wrapped up in their sexual practices, meaning that—do you think that if you had an Aaron and Melissa Klein or a Jack Phillips bakery or anything else like that where you have the LGBT clash with religious freedom or freedom of expression come before this judge, do you think this judge is going to be open and fair irrespective of what he does to rule based on the Constitution and the rule of law? I don’t think so.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mat-staver-gay-judges-are-incapable-of-giving-christians-a-fair-shake-in-court/

Really, Matt? I mean is this the kind of thing that JAY-SUS would say? Are you really that fucking paranoid? None are more paranoid than the persecuted Christian. Because persecution is a sin!!!!! And sins must be cleansed in the name of all that is good and holy! Can I get an amen??? But you know what else is a sin in the holy church of the Top 10? Paranoia! And these guys wear it on their sleeve!

Charisma magazine’s Steve Strang appeared on the “Focal Point” radio program yesterday, where he likened Christians who refuse to support President Trump to the Pharisees who attacked Jesus.

While promoting his recent book, “God and Donald Trump,” Strang told guest host Alex McFarland that Christians who attack Trump are narrow-minded, mean-spirited and blind to the fact that he has accepted Christ.

“It’s like the Pharisees in Jesus’ day,” Strang said. “Here he was, the promised Messiah, and these are the people who practice Jewish law better than anyone else and they just had a mindset against him and couldn’t see the truth. A lot of people get a mindset, they think a certain way politically … and they just think that way and they don’t think for themselves.”

“I just think that people are blind, they don’t want to change, they have a certain narrative,” he added. “Don’t we all know Christians throughout history who have twisted facts to go along with their preconceived ideas? It’s one reason why Christians sometimes have a bad reputation in some circles because a lot of times we are kind of narrow-minded and mean-spirited; I’ll tell you, some of the ‘Never Trumpers’ we’re really, in my opinion, mean-spirited in the way they went after him.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/steve-strang-christians-who-refuse-to-support-trump-are-like-the-pharisees-who-attacked-jesus/

Methinks that Brother Steve might be protesting just a little too much! Let’s give it up for the Top 10 Gospel Choir, again, how great be they? Can I get an amen? Thank you audience! And speaking of right wing paranoia, fear, and misinformation, here we have Liz Crokin openly contemplating whether or not Oprah is the antichrist!

Last night, right-wing “journalist” and crackpot conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin hosted another Facebook Live video stream with her friend Crystal Myers-Barber during which she brilliantly uncovered Oprah Winfrey’s hidden allegiance to the New World Order.

In 2011, Winfrey launched the Oprah Winfrey Network, known as OWN. But as Crokin cleverly discovered, OWN spelled backwards is NWO, which obviously is unmistakable proof of her deep ties to the New World Order.

“What is her network—OWN—backwards?” Crokin asked. “New World Order. Hello! Anagrams, reverse words, symbolism.”

That insight was a revelation to Myers-Barber, prompting Crokin to explain a bit more.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/hey-you-never-know-liz-crokin-and-friend-wonder-if-oprah-could-be-the-antichrist/

Hey Liz… you never know when two people might suffer from a bad case of shit coming directly from thine brains! Thank you! Because lying and bigotry are also sins, and sins must be cleansed in the name of all that is good and holy!!! Can I get an amen???? But then there be Pastor Kevin Swanson, who thinks that a movie called “The Shape Of Water” might be the end of civilization as we know it.

On his radio show today, extremist anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson declared that the new film “The Shape Of Water” represents “the end of civilization as we know it.”
Swanson fumed that the film about a woman who falls in love with a mysterious sea creature is an explicit violation of Leviticus 20:15, which declares that “if a man has sexual relations with an animal, he is to be put to death, and you must kill the animal.”
“It’s hard to even describe what goes on” in the film, Swanson said, “but, of course, the death penalty crime of Leviticus 20:15 had to do with the absolute lowest, most depraved activity that humans have ever engaged in at all and it’s only the most depraved people in the world that even want to mention this stuff, let alone sit there and watch it for two and a half hours on the movie screen.”
“The movie itself is completely centered around cross-species mating,” he continued. “The movie [approvingly] presents the Leviticus 20:15 sinful habit that really has only been part of the most depraved people, the most insane people that ever lived in the history of mankind.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/kevin-swanson-the-shape-of-water-represents-the-end-of-civilization-as-we-know-it/

Brother Kevin, you missed the part where “The Shape Of Water” is a movie. It is not real, and lying about fiction is a sin!!!!! And sins must be cleansed! Now let’s praise Jesus and pass the collection plate because our Holy Church Of The Top 10 needs a face lift and we cannot do it on our own! You see how janky this set is, and it’s the work of Satan himself!!! But then we have Cindy Jacobs, who said that Kim Jong Un will be removed from office unless he repents and accepts Jesus! Because, Jesus!

Last November, Cindy Jacobs and several other self-proclaimed “prophets” gathered for a Global Prophetic Summit, where they reportedly heard from God that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un will be removed from office this year unless he converts to Christianity.

Yesterday, Jacobs posted a video in which she purported to explain “what God has been saying for 2018.” During the video, Jacobs spoke directly to Kim Jong Un about the need for him to turn his life over to Christ or else spend eternity in hell.

“We prophesied a lot about North Korea, that North Korea was going to have a suddenly—that God was going to deal with Kim Jong Un,” Jacobs said of the recent prophetic summit.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/cindy-jacobs-god-will-remove-kim-jong-un-in-2018-unless-he-becomes-a-christian/

To which I say “good luck with that”, Sister Cindy! There you have it – they would actually try to convert one of the world’s most insane leaders, because, Jesus. Mass has ended, may you go in peace. That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]White Male Groper’s Club
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If there’s one thing you don’t want to do in the day and age of social media, is completely screw up the message of a movement. Especially one as important as the #MeToo movement. And since that happened last October there have been people coming out of the woodwork to share their stories of sexual harassment and abuse. And then there’s Floyd Mayweather. Really, there is nothing funny about sexual harassment, abuse, or assault. But we can all agree that Floyd completely got the message wrong didn’t he?

Raise your hand if you’ve wondered what boxer Floyd Mayweather has to say about the #MeToo movement. Anyone? Anyone at all? Oh, there’s one—Men’s Health! The magazine got Mayweather to open about the social media campaign on Wednesday, and it went about as well as you’d expect.

At a press event for Mayweather’s new VR experience, Mayweather Boxing + Fitness, reporter Jordyn Taylor asked how men can grow in 2018, “in light of the #MeToo movement.” Mayweather was at first confused by by the question, but after Taylor explained it had to do with “women speaking out about sexual assault,” he delivered an answer that was pure Floyd.

“When you say ‘me too’ ... When somebody is like, ‘I got a Rolls Royce, I be like ‘me too.’” Mayweather said. “When somebody say they got a private jet, I say, ‘Me too. I got two. Me too.’”

Cool.

Taylor gamely tried to explain that what she’s asking about—women responding to systemic sexual harassment and misconduct by sharing their stories of being harassed or manhandled—is way different than comparing the contents of your garage to your wealthy buddies. And Floyd, well, he kept on being Floyd.

“Well, I didn't know! My Me Too movement from the beginning was whenever somebody said what they have I'm like, ‘me too,’” he said. “Somebody say they got a billion dollars, I say, ‘I made a billion dollars, me too.’”
http://www.newsweek.com/floyd-mayweather-completely-misunderstands-metoo-777476

Yeah cool story bro. That is exactly what the #MeToo movement was going for! Because everyone has Rolls Royces and private jets! Not me, I’ve got some dormant frequent flyer accounts. So this thing isn’t going away. Sure, Floyd may have got the message wrong, but what about when someone gets accused like Marvel’s Stan Lee? Yes we actually have a Stan Lee cameo in this edition!

Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee, co-creator of such iconic properties as Spider-Man, the Avengers, and the X-Men, has been hit with multiple allegations of sexual misconduct, all of which he’s denied. According to the Daily Mail, the first set of accusations came from former nurses for the 95-year-old, who claim he groped them, asked for oral sex, walked around naked in their presence, and asked to be “pleasured” in his bedroom. About those accusations, Lee’s attorney Tom Lallas told the Mail, “Mr. Lee categorically denies these false and despicable allegations and he fully intends to fight to protect his stellar good name and impeccable character.” He also said Lee “received demands to pay money” from his accusers.
www.vulture.com/2018/01/stan-lee-denies-sexual-misconduct.html

Well hopefully these aren’t true because we love the Marvel movies, and Stan Lee will still be awesome, damn it! But then there’s a special sub section of the creepy perverts club – the Netflix creepy perverts club! What is it with Netflix and creepy perverts? There’s Kevin Spacey (House Of Cards), Danny Masterson (The Ranch), Louis CK (stand up specials), and now Aziz Ansari (Master of None) may join the mix.

Aziz Ansari, comedian, creator of one of the most socially progressive shows of our time and an ardent feminist campaigner has been accused of taking sexual advantage of a woman. The news might not be easy to digest, but it’s essential that we know it – and as women everywhere know, it is all too common to be shocking.

Far too often, men live under the guise of feminism in order to carry out abhorrent actions against women. Taking advantage of a public position which allows them to pull on the kudos, benefits and emotions and intelligence of women, they find themselves exalted for treating women like human beings.

As we have seen in the media industry, in the legal industry, and Hollywood itself, these men are more than happy to capitalise on the sacrifices of women, willingly or unwillingly, in public or in private. It is hard to celebrate a man who thinks that he deserves a medal – or an Emmy – for shouting about his basic treatment of women.
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/aziz-ansari-master-of-none-sexual-misconduct-allegations-feminism-a8158886.html

Oh and by the way, speaking of sexist pigs, how about Kevin Spacey? Remember him? He was our president at one point in time and starred in such movies as "Baby Driver" (which is a movie I loved from last year). Would it surprise you to learn he's also a racist? And for those of you keeping score at home - fake president who's a closet racist and sexual predator? Gone. Real president who's a closet racist and sexual predator? Whatever, he's still in charge!

According to the Daily Mail, Earl Blue, who was hired by the production company that produced House of Cards, has come forward to say that Spacey was “a very racist man.” Blue’s VIP Protective Services managed security for the first season of the hit Netflix show and says that Spacey refused to shake the hands of the black personnel and once told his personal security manager, “I don’t want niggers watching my trailer.”

When Blue complained to set managers, he says he was told of Spacey, “That’s just the way he is; we’ve got to keep him happy.”

Eric Lyles, one of the more than 40 security staff employed by VIP Protective Services, corroborated Blue’s story, saying that Spacey refused to touch him or even acknowledge his presence.

Blue says that despite every executive telling him that the company did a great job as set security, his contract was not renewed for the next season. He says he was told by a production manager that Spacey said “he didn’t want n******s on his set anymore.”
https://thegrapevine.theroot.com/damn-kevin-spacey-are-you-an-n-word-dropping-racist-1822127404

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Damn just once I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to talk about this guy even for our 100th episode! I mean, can we just skip to the fucking Foo Fighters please? My producer is telling me no. Damn it! I know we have a show to do! OK so it’s a new year and there’s all those articles coming out about the people you need to purge from your life to make it better in 2018. Well, can we purge Alex Jones please? He is not only extremely difficult and complains a lot, but he’s batshit fucking insane. Where to start?

Alex Jones, the shock jock conspiracy theorist leader of Infowars, told listeners that the media fabricated reports that Trump made racist remarks about immigrants in order to distract from right-wing activist James O’Keefe’s latest video releases and predicted that the media would soon claim that Trump rapes and eats Haitian babies.

Today on “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones attempted to discredit reports that Trump asked why “people from shithole countries” are allowed to come to America while discussing federal protections for immigrants from African, Caribbean and Latin American countries, calling it “a fake story.” The real story, Jones claimed, is the release of videos that contain secretly filmed and selectively edited footage of Twitter employees talking about “shadow banning,” a feature on most social media websites that allows moderators to place users in an isolated state without notifying them.

“This is key in crisis management. To cover up a real story, you use a fake story. And this is the mother of distractions. The M.O.A.B. is the mother of bombs—that’s conventional. This is the M.O.A.B. of distractions,” Jones said.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-media-will-soon-claim-trump-rapes-and-eats-haitian-babies/

No, Alex, I believe you said that. It’s interesting to note that his mind immediately goes to “rape” and “babies”. They are obsessed with pedophiles and pedophilia aren’t they? But Alex has some great sources doesn’t he? This is who he claims he gets his information from “the people on the inside” !

ALEX JONES (HOST): I wasn’t going to shoot a video or live report today because we didn’t have enough information. Then I began to get calls from my CIA sources, my high-level Army intelligence sources, and analysis from my Delta Force sources and just many others that there is no way, no way that this was an accident and that somebody pushed the wrong button because there’s five fail-safes. These are not computerized systems, they get computerized readings, but then humans have to flip off or on five switches to then manually activate the alert.

Now, again, this afternoon I started hearing about it, I looked at it, I see it, I think that sounds strange. I then start reading my Twitter, my Facebook, I see all these people that have veterans accounts and people in special operations who are known, public figures, saying this is impossible, there’s major fail-safes. Then my phone rings from not one, but two, one former State Department source, another CIA, then my phone rings from someone who associated with Delta Force, then I get some more phone calls, and they are like, “Why aren’t you covering this? This is huge. This is gigantic, this is meant to embarrass Trump, this is meant to destabilize things,” and it’s meant to distract from the fact that there were Uranium One indictments that turns out came out yesterday that nobody noticed, it broke today, those are on Infowars.com. With people connected to the Clintons, the indictments have happened. And also that there was reportedly, evidence shows, a second shooter in [Las] Vegas in the new FBI search warrants and that indeed, as our hostage rescue team sources at the FBI told us the day after it happened, that what we broke on air from our sources is exactly what’s in those and that he was an arms dealer and it was an arms deal gone bad.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2018/01/14/alex-jones-claims-false-report-missile-headed-towards-hawaii-was-orchestrated-trump-s-opponents/219076

This is a perfect use for air quotes. Alex claims he has top secret info from the CIA and Delta Force. I think he means more that he has sources from Delta House! Although with as crazy as they were, at least Bluto and the gang from Delta House know that Nazis and white supremacists are bad. And while on the lovely subject of child sex abuse (which only they are talking about), it should be noted that this is what Infowars correspondent and your creepy uncle’s creepy uncle Mike Cernovich had to say about this:

Mike Cernovich, the self-appointed leader of a movement he calls the “New Right” and a promoter of the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory, told viewers last night that he believed “dark magic” was to blame for what he claimed is rampant pedophilia among political, Hollywood and “deep state” elites.

Last night, Cernovich aired a livestream in which he provided commentary on the day’s news. In the middle of the stream, Cernovich went a tangent to discuss the magical forces he believes to be at work in the world, as well as his personal magical practice.

“Everything I do is alchemy. That’s why I believe in magic. Not black magic, not the satanic magic that they practice in Hollywood and that the deep state practices and that the media practice. I believe in good magic, light magic, alchametic magic,” Cernovich said. “Alchametic magic is ‘How do I create something out of nothing purely through manifesting my will through power and light, which is value.’ That’s white magic. That’s alchametic magic.”

Cernovich went on to explain that he believed the turn of phrase “emotional vampire,” which refers to people that others perceive to be emotionally draining or unpleasant to those around them, is a form of “black magic and that is the magic that is taught by our culture.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-cernovich-thinks-the-deep-state-hollywood-are-practicing-dark-magic-and-abusing-children/

That’s what they want you to think, Mikey! They are obsessed with bullshit aren’t they? I mean you have raping babies, black magic, and now there’s a new conspiracy theory called “The Storm”. See, conspiracy theories are like worms – you can’t just kill one by cutting it in half, they grow new tentacles!

As we noted yesterday, Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, has recently dedicated himself to covering “The Storm,” the right-wing conspiracy theory that asserts that President Trump is secretly working to take down a global ring of elite cannibalistic satanic pedophiles.

At the center of “The Storm” is a series of 8chan forum board posts penned by a figure or figures known only as “QAnon,” who many right-wing activists assert is actually a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even Trump himself. Last weekend, during an appearance on a YouTube program hosted by Tracy Beanz, Corsi revealed that QAnon had recently confirmed his/her close ties to Trump by posting a photo of what Corsi claimed was a pen resting on Trump’s desk at Camp David.

“That’s the Laurel desk,” Corsi said while discussing the image in question. “It’s the one that Obama used and apparently Trump is also using at Camp David. That’s the desktop at Camp David.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-has-uncovered-irrefutable-proof-of-the-authenticity-of-qanon/

Wow, so he has proof that an illuminati exists because two presidents used the same desk and he stole the pen? That’s like having proof your cousin is an alcoholic because you stole his Total Wine gift card. I mean seriously how stupid and crazy is the Infowars cabal? He thinks Oprah is a black Nazi! Who is he? Dave Chappelle? I mean we went out in search of Black Nazis, only found one!

ALEX JONES (HOST): Oh, but look, there it is. Oprah’s home affected by California mudslides. Oh my gosh, just the concerted effort. Oh, she is just such an angel and it’s just all what a -- she’s such a survivor, she’s such a good person. She cares about everybody, and this is now what’s going on. Simply amazing.

And notice when I talked about her being a black Nazi, which being a part of the eugenics group, I mean that's what the Nazis were. There were plenty of black Nazis in World War II, you can actually look it up. The media thought that sounded crazy, so they ran with that. But when I got into her sticking her tongue into Weinstein and women saying she brought women to them and basically set them up and that she's been involved as a child prostitute, and all the rest of this stuff, and the fact she doesn't want her lesbianism -- nothing wrong with lesbianism, lady, it’s fine. The point is, just -- let’s get it out front and be proud of it. And nobody wanted to touch that, see, because, “Oh, you don’t talk about that with the grand leader.” I mean, she's like the shadow president now, they're about to say. Watch. She’s really like America’s conscience. It’s the phenomenon after Trump won, America stood up and she became the voice. She’s our mommy when she’s not sticking her filthy tongue in Harvey Weinstein’s fetid, scaley, diseased ear.
https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2018/01/10/alex-jones-i-can-call-oprah-black-nazi-because-there-were-plenty-black-nazis-world-war-ii/219028

*Infomercial voice* But wait! There's more! So much more. I mean really, Alex needs to find a hobby because who would just sit in front of the TV and count how many times CNN said the word "shithole"? And do you really need to go on a profanity laced rant to make up for all the times CNN said "shithole"? Come on Alex, two wrongs don't make a right. Although Alex Jones is infinitely wrong, so are we dividing by zero here?

Alex Jones, the nutritional supplement huckster who leads Infowars, had a ballistic meltdown last night over the fact that CNN anchors said “shithole” on air after reports that President Trump used the term to describe Haiti and countries in Africa.

During a live stream yesterday, Jones appeared behind the scenes in the Infowars production booth to weigh in on the White House doctor’s comments that he had “no concerns” about Trump’s cognitive abilities. But Jones, of course, quickly shifted to other topics.

At one point, a member of the Infowars staff asked Jones and his posse if they thought it was “interesting” that CNN “was able to use ‘shithole’ 195 times” in its coverage of the president’s remarks.

“Yeah, but if I say it I get fined $4,000, exactly,” Jones said. He then began screaming: “CNN can say ‘shithole’ and you don’t fuckin’ bitch about it because you’re a goddamn cunt. You’re a fuckin’ mind-controlled fuck.”

The staffer said he doubted that he would see CNN kicked off Twitter.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-goes-on-profanity-laced-rant-about-cnn-anchors-saying-shithole/

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s time for a new installment of:



So not only am I drinking because we’re celebrating the 100th edition of the Top 10, I am drinking because I need something ridiculously strong to get through this one. Tell me, bartender, what pairs well with laundry detergent? Blue Curacao you say? But the detergent is blue colored! How would I be able to tell... Ah fuck it, so I’ll take my usual order of Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. We were originally going to do “People Are Dumb” for this edition but this one is so jaw-dropping, mind numbingly stupid that it needs its’ own entry. So teenagers are daring each other to eat laundry detergent. Yes, this is a thing. Yes, I am not making this up.

First, it was the "gallon challenge" and the "cinnamon challenge."

Then some teenagers started playing the "bath-salt challenge."

They have dared each other to pour salt in their hands and hold ice till it burns, douse themselves in rubbing alcohol and set themselves ablaze, and throw boiling water on unsuspecting peers.

Now videos circulating on social media are showing kids biting into brightly colored liquid laundry detergent packets. Or cooking them in frying pans, then chewing them up before spewing the soap from their mouths.

Experts say the game, dubbed the "Tide pod challenge," is dangerous.

"A lot of people were just saying how stupid I was or how - why would I be willing to do that?" 19-year-old Marc Pagan, who said he was dared to do it, told CBS News this week. "No one should be putting anything like that in their mouths, you know?"
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-tide-pod-challenge-20180114-story.html

Eating laundry detergent? Setting people on fire? Ingesting bath salts? I mean seriously? WTF is wrong with teenagers? Now where’s my drink at? Waitress! Seriously – this is truly beyond stupid. You are daring someone to eat fucking laundry detergent! This is poison! Something that has the potential, to, I don’t know – kill you! Even Snopes can’t believe this shit!

In January 2018, millions of cable TV viewers had their first encounter with the “Tide pod challenge”—an online and social media phenomenon in which someone with a camera (usually a teenager) films themselves biting into one of the laundry detergent pods.

“A government watchdog is expressing concern over the dangerous misuse of a laundry detergent,” CBS News reported on 12 January. “In this latest social media fad, teenagers are putting detergent pods in their mouths in what’s being called the ‘Tide Pod Challenge.'”

“I can’t even believe I have to say this right now,” said Good Morning America‘s Diane Macedo. “They are brightly colored and they’re very nicely wrapped, but these Tide pods are not candy or pizza toppings or breakfast cereal—they are not edible.”

We’ve received several enquiries from readers wanting to know whether people really were putting laundry detergent in their mouths on camera. They are.
https://www.snopes.com/tide-pod-challenge/

Ah where ya been man? I think I need another one – at least with alcohol you get some enjoyment out of it. With a Tide Pod you don’t. In fact this is so serious that the Tide Corporation actually partnered with Patriots tight end and Bro Magazine’s partier of the year Rob Gronkowski, to tell you not to eat Tide Pods!

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WJAR) — In a humorous public service announcement with a serious message, New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski teams up with Tide to tell children not to eat colorful laundry detergent packets.

"What the heck is going on, people?" Gronk says during a 21-second video Tide shared on social media Friday night.

The football superstar was referring to a new online challenge that encourages children and teenagers to record themselves eating a Tide POD.

"Do not eat!" Gronk yells, sounding like a scolding parent. "Use Tide PODs for washing, not eating."
http://13wham.com/news/offbeat/gronk-tells-children-not-to-eat-tide-pods

We got to show that PSA because it’s pretty spectacular:

Link to tweet

Now you might ask yourself “It’s all well and good but what do the kids actually think about this?” Well I answer you with this:

YORK TOWNSHIP, YORK COUNTY, Pa. -- You`ve probably seen it circling the internet. It's called the `Tide Pods challenge` where teens dare each other to eat tide laundry detergent pods and it's gone viral.

"When I first saw it I was like wow that's crazy," said Idelisse Cordero of York Township.

Cordero says her 13-year-old daughter showed her one of the videos on her phone.

"I just can't believe you know that kids would even think about doing something like that," said Cordero. "It's the first time I've heard of it."
http://fox43.com/2018/01/14/local-parents-and-teens-react-to-tide-pods-challenge/

But this has also got the attention of the medical community. I can’t imagine any emergency room doctor not just giving a giant eye roll after telling a patient how stupid they are for actually partaking in this competition:

According to the American Association of Poison Control Centers, there were more than 10,500 reported exposures to highly concentrated laundry detergent by children age 5 and younger in 2017.

If someone swallows a small amount of the concentrated detergent in the pods, it could result in diarrhea and vomiting. And it can even creep into the lungs and burn the respiratory tract, making it incredibly difficult to breathe, Dr. Alfred Aleguas Jr., managing director of the Florida Poison Information Center told USA Today.

The D.C.-based not-for-profit National Capital Poison Center reported that biting into a pod can cause “serious injury or even death.” Rubbing the product into the eyes can make the eyes burn, too.
http://www.ajc.com/news/national/are-people-really-eating-tide-pods-doctors-warn-parents-about-dangerous-tide-pod-challenge/fgGxrYa6z5pAGuFoAJXpDI/

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????? There have been 10,500 cases reported?? That is fucking insane! No, I am not eating one because we still have to get to the end and the Foo Fighters are coming on! Sorry! But really this is why we can’t have nice things, and how we get Trump as our president:

Tide Pods contain detergent. For washing your clothes and your sheets. Not for eating. Doesn’t matter how much they look like a snack, or a candy, or an oversize Gushers. You shouldn’t eat them unless you’d like to, well, potentially die. A child might not know better, so you should probably keep them out of reach of little hands — these things have killed before — for safety. (Or just buy some boring, cheaper, non-pod detergent. It works better anyway.) If you, after all of this, are still looking at a Tide Pod and thinking, Maybe just a little bit … you definitely shouldn’t go on Twitter today. Tide Pod–eating, a long-running internet joke, has reached something of a fever pitch this December.
http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/12/why-are-people-joking-about-eating-tide-pods-on-twitter.html

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[font size="8"]World Tour 2018 Destination #2: Poland
[br] [/font] [br]



Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Last week, we discovered that our first stop, Spain, was the subject of a Putin power grab and it is not going over well. Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]Poland[/font]



So we are back in Eastern Europe everybody! Man it feels good doesn’t it! Nobody does it like Eastern Europe, and nobody parties harder than Eastern Europe, am I right? So we are hanging out in the beautiful port city of Gdansk. We’re not going to do Polish jokes because I hear that they apparently hate that sort of thing. But Poland is a beautiful country. It’s the home of such large cities with rich history as Krakow, Gdansk, Lodz, Wroclaw, and the capital of Warsaw. While you’re here, be sure to visit the Auschwitz Museum – yes it’s the site of the you know what. Yeah I really don’t want to go into the history of World War II because we could literally spend all day on it, and I don’t have that kind of time! This is an hour show here, people! So yeah let’s switch the subject. Naturally, the most popular sport in Poland is football. Or soccer, whatever you want to call it. We won’t judge here. But what else is Poland the home of? Why it’s the home of what could be the next “fuck the EU” election.

EU President Donald Tusk warned that Poland’s right-wing government could try to drive the country out of the European Union if it stops being a net recipient of bloc funding, in an interview published on Wednesday.

The former liberal Polish premier and arch-rival of the governing Law and Justice (PiS) party spoke at a time when Poland is mired in conflict with the EU over various issues, including the controversial judicial reforms that led Brussels to launch unprecedented disciplinary proceedings against Warsaw last month.

"For PiS the benefit of being in the EU boils down to the balance of payments, with a complete disregard for other benefits like the common market, legal order, guaranteed security, etc," Tusk told the Tygodnik Powszechny news weekly.

"As long as we’re not a net contributor, the game is worth the candle for them. So I can easily imagine a situation where if one day Poland finds itself among the (net) contributors, the Polish government will decide that it’s time to ask Poles if they still want Poland in the EU and then will work hard so that they come to the conclusion that it’s necessary to say goodbye to membership."
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/01/11/donald-tusk-warnspoland-could-hold-brexit-style-eu-referendum/

Yeah so what do we call this? Polxit? Polexit? Poxit? Whatever you call it, it appears to be a situation that is going to turn out just as fucked up as Brexit is / was, and it could take years, decades to fix before it unravels. So why are they so angry at the EU? Well it might be anti-globalist talk.

Poland's president says that the EU is partly to blame for what he called "social disillusionment"

Andrzej Duda was speaking at a New Year reception for foreign ambassadors held at the presidential palace in Warsaw.

He said EU institutions have been deaf to the needs of member states, pointing to Brexit and recent elections in some nations:

"European Union institutions should take their share of responsibility for this social disillusionment with the integration and should analyse the mistakes made. It is the task of EU institutions (to build) a harmonious European policy, but not to stigmatise, divide and antagonise European nations."
http://www.euronews.com/2018/01/12/poland-says-the-eu-is-responsible-for-social-disillusionment-

I think this is what a second Brexit is going to look like, guys! But guess what? You know how we here have been going on and on about our Russia problem? And then last week we discovered that Spain had a Russia problem as well? Well…

The democratic backsliding in Poland continues under the leadership of the Law and Justice (PiS) government. Over the past two years, PiS has gradually stripped the judicial branch of its independence and tightened its grip over the media.

PiS has now taken aim at Poland’s election process. The Polish Senate supported the election reform bill on Dec. 21 and the lower house of the Polish Parliament, the Sejm, passed it early this morning. Now the bill will go to President Andrzej Duda for his decision.

The electoral law reform proposes a set of seemingly innocuous changes. However, two administrative reforms within the bill concerning the National Election Commission and the National Election Bureau could centralize PiS’s control over elections and further weaken democratic checks and balances in Poland. Here’s the story.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2018/01/11/free-elections-in-poland-face-new-threats-from-a-new-electoral-reform-bill/?utm_term=.5ef21adaceac

The box! The box! The box! Oh great mystery box, what wonders do you hold? The answers we seek shall lie within! OK back on the subject. Well at least it’s good to know that Poland’s anti-environmentalists are about the same as America’s anti-environmentalists. Does Poland have their own version of Fox News too?

WARSAW: Poland will comply with an EU court order to stop cutting trees in Bialowieza forest, except where public safety has to be ensured, its new environment minister said on Friday: words certain to disappoint campaigners who want logging to end there.

A UNESCO World Heritage site, Bialowieza, which straddles the border with Belarus, is one of Europe's last primeval forests and home to its largest herd of European bison as well as unique birds and insects.

Earlier this month, Henryk Kowalczyk replaced Jan Szyszko in a government reshuffle, raising environmentalists' hopes this would bring a policy change on the logging issue.

Szyszko approved a tripling of the quota of wood that can be harvested in one of three administrative areas of the Bialowieza Forest in March 2016 to stop a beetle outbreak.

Read more at https://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/world/poland-s-new-environment-minister-signals-little-change-on-forest-logging-9856846

Yeah poor Milhouse! But you know back to Polexit, there are already worries that if this vote were to actually go through and get approved, well, the residents are, and should be worried! But you know we’re supposed to be a comedy show here, no need for alarm! Or…. Is there?

A vote on sanctions against Poland over its rule of law issues would give the EU "sleepless nights" and should be avoided, Bulgarian prime minister Boyko Borisov said on Thursday (11 January).

"We should not get to this point," Borisov, whose country has just taken over the presidency of the EU Council - the institution where member states meet - told journalists in Sofia.

Last month, the European Commission triggered article 7 of the EU treaty to open a sanctions procedure against Warsaw.


The commission said that unless the Polish government steps back before the end of March, it would ask the council to declare that "there is a clear risk of a serious breach by the Republic of Poland of the rule of law."
https://euobserver.com/institutional/140515

But you know since we like to end on the lighter side, there is one thing people should be aware of before spouting anti-globalist bullshit. Globalism – gasp – is good for the economy!

Meanwhile, Polish residents spent PLN 6.8 billion (EUR 1.6 billion) while travelling abroad, a 6.5 percent increase on the third quarter of 2016, according to Poland’s Central Statistical Office (GUS).

Germany accounted for just under half of expenditure abroad by Polish residents crossing a land border, while the Czech Republic accounted for a third.

GUS also said that there were 82.6 million border crossings during the third quarter, with foreigners accounting for 47.9 million of these.

Almost three quarters of border crossings were along a land border with another EU country, with the majority of these occurring along the Polish-German border.
http://www.thenews.pl/1/12/Artykul/341723,Foreigners-spending-more-in-Poland

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

This was not an easy country to find a lot of information on the categories we were looking for, but we did it, and well – I would say definitely visit Poland. But as for moving here? I hear they don’t take too kindly to outsiders.

Tourism: B+
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D
Liberal Appeal: B

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

So I know we’ve already got a tour schedule in place, and I know it says Lithuania next week, but we’re going to redo it! Yes something unprecedented in Top 10 history! And we’re going to visit places Trump and his fans call “shitholes”, starting with Haiti! Meet the new tour schedule!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Foo Fighters[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, for our 100th edition, what better band to get than one of the world’s biggest and most awesome bands? Their new album is called “Concrete And Gold”, playing their song “The Sky Is A Neighborhood”, give it up for the one, the only, FOO FIGHTERS!!!

Wait? They want to stick around for one more? Sure!

See you next week!

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