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Wed Jan 31, 2018, 11:10 AM

Trump Collapses From Exhaustion After Ninety Minutes of Faking Empathy (The Borowitz Report)

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump collapsed from exhaustion after approximately ninety minutes of pretending to be a human being with empathy, the White House doctor has confirmed.

“In all my years of practicing medicine, I have never met a patient as healthy and vigorous as President Trump,” Dr. Ronny Jackson said. “But the sustained effort of simulating compassion proved too much for someone who has never exercised that part of his brain before.”

Shortly after Trump spent a gruelling ninety minutes pretending to care about immigrants, the unemployed, and other people whom he normally dismisses as losers, aides noticed that he was turning from a bright orange to a slightly paler orange before crumpling to the ground in a giant heap.




MORE:
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report

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Reply Trump Collapses From Exhaustion After Ninety Minutes of Faking Empathy (The Borowitz Report) (Original post)
kpete Jan 2018 OP
bdamomma Jan 2018 #1
thbobby Jan 2018 #2
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riversedge Jan 2018 #3

Response to kpete (Original post)

Wed Jan 31, 2018, 11:12 AM

1. funny

and I only wish he would dry up and go away.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Wed Jan 31, 2018, 11:19 AM

2. Almost plagiarizing Procol Harum

"trump was turning a shitier shade of orange". As if looking even more like shit were possible for trump.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Wed Jan 31, 2018, 11:22 AM

3. k

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