Report: Make It Stop

[nycbos]

EVERYWHERE—Claiming that they just couldn’t stand this bullshit anymore, Americans across the country confirmed Friday that someone, anyone needs to please, just make it stop. “Please, please, please, we’re begging you here, just put an end to it immediately,” said sources, noting that it had all gone way, way too far and they would do almost anything for even a few glorious minutes of respite. “We’re on our hands and knees, pleading with you to make it all go away once and for all. What’s it going to take? Jesus Christ, just stop it! Stop it right now!” At press time, sources confirmed that they knew deep down it was never going to stop.

https://www.theonion.com/report-make-it-stop-1822874962

[dewsgirl]

1. This is perfect.

[uponit7771]

2. First sentence !!!

[localroger]

3. You have to say Red. /nt

[smirkymonkey]

4. LOL! I know this is supposed to be humor, but it's so true.

This is what goes through my mind every day!

[onlyadream]

5. I sometimes pretend that Obama is still president.

Gotta do what you gotta do to remain sane.

[Mr.Bill]

6. I just keep remembering how wonderful it was the day Nixon resigned.

I still have the front page of the newspaper with the full page headline: NIXON TO QUIT.

I plan to frame it next to Trumps headline.

[Lunabell]

7. This ain't satire

I wake up every day hoping that someone has made it stop!

[shadowmayor]

8. Every time I turn on the TV

It's another story about a monkey fuckin' a football, again. Make it stop!