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Mon Feb 12, 2018, 10:32 PM

Rob Porter is my ex-husband. Heres what you should know about abuse.

Powerful! I salute this strong woman.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/rob-porter-is-my-ex-husband-heres-what-you-should-know-about-abuse/2018/02/12/3c7edcb8-1033-11e8-9065-e55346f6de81_story.html?utm_term=.55e6bcfa2de8

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway said Sunday that she has no reason not to believe statements that Jennifer Willoughby and I have made about our ex-husband, former White House aide Rob Porter. I actually appreciated her saying that she at least did not not believe us...

Recognizing and surviving in an abusive relationship take strength. The abuse can be terrifying, life-threatening and almost constant. Or it can ebb and flow, with no violence for long periods. It’s often the subtler forms of abuse that inflict serious, persistent damage while making it hard for the victim to see the situation clearly...

For me, living in constant fear of Rob’s anger and being subjected to his degrading tirades for years chipped away at my independence and sense of self-worth. I walked away from that relationship a shell of the person I was when I went into it, but it took me a long time to realize the toll that his behavior was taking on me. (Rob has denied the abuse, but Willoughby and I know what happened.)...

Conway’s statements were made as she was trying to address the good wishes that President Trump sent to Rob, along with his tweets seeming to call into question the allegations and the #MeToo movement overall. Monday, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders again declined to say whether the president believes Willoughby and me. While I cannot say I am surprised, I expected a woman to do better. But Conway and I definitely agree on one thing she said during that interview: “There’s a stigma and a silence surrounding all these issues. . . . Those who are in a position to do something about it ought to.”

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Reply Rob Porter is my ex-husband. Heres what you should know about abuse. (Original post)
mcar Feb 2018 OP
Zoonart Feb 2018 #1
mcar Feb 2018 #2
Zoonart Feb 2018 #3
George II Feb 2018 #6
kimbutgar Feb 2018 #9
niyad Feb 2018 #11
Zoonart Feb 2018 #15
SunSeeker Feb 2018 #19
niyad Feb 2018 #20
BigmanPigman Feb 2018 #4
ProudProgressiveNow Feb 2018 #5
Scurrilous Feb 2018 #7
kimbutgar Feb 2018 #8
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #10
niyad Feb 2018 #12
kimbutgar Feb 2018 #13
niyad Feb 2018 #14
coeur_de_lion Feb 2018 #16
Upthevibe Feb 2018 #17
coeur_de_lion Feb 2018 #18
Dorian Gray Feb 2018 #22
Dorian Gray Feb 2018 #21

Response to mcar (Original post)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:09 PM

1. I salute her too.

I was severely mentally abused by my first husband and driven to a nervous breakdown.
I also stayed too long for all the wrong reasons, not the least of which was the fear of being labeled as a failure by my family.
I grock this fully and thank these courageous women for speaking out... all
of my sisters for speaking out.

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Response to Zoonart (Reply #1)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:15 PM

2. Zoonart!



There are so many reasons women don't leave, don't report, don't speak out. No one has the right to judge. Victims of DV deserve support.

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Response to mcar (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:20 PM

3. ((((((((((((mcar)))))))))))))

right back at you.

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Response to mcar (Reply #2)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 12:45 AM

6. Sadly, in many cases where the woman doesn't leave, it's because they believe "it was my fault"!

My wife spent years with her abusive ex-husband, working her ass off to "make it work". He was an alcoholic who more emotionally abused her than physically abused her (thankfully), and she went to more Al-anon meetings than he went to AA meetings. In some bizarre way she thought she had to work harder than he did. Finally she had enough.


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Response to Zoonart (Reply #1)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 01:03 AM

9. +1

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Response to Zoonart (Reply #1)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 03:10 PM

11. (((((Zoonart)))))) so glad you are out of that horror.

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Response to niyad (Reply #11)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 04:48 PM

15. (((((Niyad))))))

Blessed be. My current Mr. of 32 years is the most lovely and egalitarian man I have ever known. So ...I'm whole now. That's what counts.

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Response to Zoonart (Reply #15)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 05:11 AM

19. So glad to hear that! You so deserve to be happy!

Have a Valentine's Day full of love with your Mr.!

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Response to Zoonart (Reply #15)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 12:53 PM

20. That makes me so happy to hear. Blessed Be.

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Response to mcar (Original post)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 12:19 AM

4. He also abused a former girlfriend.

If Hope Hicks knows this and chooses to stay that is her choice. But covering up for him and risking our nation's security in a politically motivated lie is also her choice and it is for this that she should be fired ASAP!

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Response to mcar (Original post)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 12:45 AM

5. K&R nt

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Response to mcar (Original post)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 12:56 AM

7. K&R

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Response to mcar (Original post)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 01:02 AM

8. When my ex husband abused me the first time I was shocked

I was not from that type of family. When it happened again I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. The final time was when I realized that he was gonna hurt me again if I didn’t leave the house at that moment. It was finally over. I suffered the embarrassment of the physical abuse. I went to my priest who told me to forgive my husband and beg his forgiveness. I basically gave up being a catholic that day and never looked back. Remarried and never looked back. No man would ever lay his hands on me again in anger.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #8)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 01:42 AM

10. +1. Three strikes and they are out. Also, when religion enables abusers it is out on one


When religion enables abusers it is out on one strike because that is a systemic problem, not one person against one other person. The priest probably sent several or dozens of women back to their abusers.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #8)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 03:12 PM

12. so very glad you were able to leave--both the abuser and the abuse-enabling rcc.

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Response to niyad (Reply #12)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 03:18 PM

13. I could have never told my Father he would have killed my ex.

It wasn’t until many year later when I remarried my current husband that I told my Dad. He started crying that I should have told him then. My Mother and sister knew but we kept it from him. Because we knew he would have beat the guy who hurt his little girl.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #13)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 03:21 PM

14. I can well understand why you did not tell him. my father had nothing but contempt for

any man who would lay hands on a woman or a child.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #8)

Tue Feb 13, 2018, 08:22 PM

16. My experience with the Catholic church

was so different from yours. I went in to talk to my priest expecting him to say marriage is sacrosanct and you need to stay with your husband.

Instead, he said I was not in a true marriage, and I should get out as soon as possible. Then he told me to come back once I had my civil divorce and he would help me get a Catholic annulment. Then, he did just that. Helped me get the annulment, guided me through the whole process.

Truly not what I expected based on my Mom's experience with the church. I guess I was lucky.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #16)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 12:30 AM

17. Thank you for the post....

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Response to Upthevibe (Reply #17)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 02:20 AM

18. Thanks . . .

I was worried it might be taken the wrong way.

The Catholic church has failed so many people in such a horrific way. I don't know how I side stepped all that but I did and my experiences have been mostly positive.

I would have left the church if they told me I should stay with an abusive husband. But they told me to get out, immediately.

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Response to coeur_de_lion (Reply #16)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 12:57 PM

22. Oh my gosh

this made me want to cry.

I'm so happy you had support behind you.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #8)

Wed Feb 14, 2018, 12:56 PM

21. Jesus

Sorry you had that entire experience. You were brave and left him, your church and stood up for yourself. I would like to think I would have done the same.

That priest has hurt more people than he knows. And his church. Immensely.

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