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Tue Feb 27, 2018, 06:36 PM

Trump Hides Under Desk After Diet Coke Can Opens Loudly

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a moment of high drama at the White House on Tuesday morning, Donald J. Trump dove under his desk after a can of Diet Coke opened with an unexpectedly loud sound.

Moments earlier, Trump had pressed a button on his desk, summoning Vice-President Mike Pence to the Oval Office to serve him the frosty beverage. According to one aide, when Pence opened the can, it made “an unusually loud noise,” sending Trump ducking under his desk in a millisecond.

At a news conference, minutes later, the press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, attempted to tamp down speculation that Trump had acted in a cowardly manner during the Diet Coke incident. “The President prudently repositioned himself under his desk in an aggressive crouch,” she said. “He was ready for anything.”

Pence agreed with her assessment. “The President was putting himself in a position where, if need be, he could defend the entire country against an attack,” he said. “I, for one, am honored to serve a man of such valor.”

The White House physician, Ronny Jackson, also had high praise for Trump. “He has the ability to flee a loud noise of a man half his age,” the doctor said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-hides-under-desk-after-diet-coke-can-opens-loudly

13 replies, 3379 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
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Arrow 13 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trump Hides Under Desk After Diet Coke Can Opens Loudly (Original post)
Zorro Feb 2018 OP
Gothmog Feb 2018 #1
malaise Feb 2018 #2
Raven123 Feb 2018 #3
lindysalsagal Feb 2018 #4
cornball 24 Feb 2018 #5
Ferrets are Cool Feb 2018 #6
montana_hazeleyes Feb 2018 #11
uponit7771 Feb 2018 #7
raccoon Feb 2018 #8
dchill Feb 2018 #9
raven mad Feb 2018 #10
AdamGG Feb 2018 #12
htuttle Feb 2018 #13

Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 06:36 PM

1. I love good satire

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Response to Gothmog (Reply #1)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 06:38 PM

2. This is great

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 06:56 PM

3. Surprised they didn't note that Obama caused the incident

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 07:00 PM

4. Genius.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 07:18 PM

5. No mention of how White House staff had to employ extreme methods to pry his fat ass

out from under the desk!😎

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 07:50 PM

6. It's sad when you must look closely to see what the source is to

find out if its satire or real.

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Response to Ferrets are Cool (Reply #6)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 09:20 PM

11. LOL Ferrets are Cool!

When I saw the title, I thought it was true.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 07:55 PM

7. K&R

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 08:37 PM

8. This story made my day. Nt

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 08:42 PM

9. I hope Borowitz is aware that...

that is an expertly crafted "Dr Ronny Jackson" marionette he's mocking. No one knows what became of the original, last seen drinking a Kool-Aid at Mar-a-Lago.

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 08:55 PM

10. ... where's the bluebird of happiness when you need it................

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 09:21 PM

12. Heart of a lion

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Response to Zorro (Original post)

Tue Feb 27, 2018, 10:28 PM

13. He has the ability to flee a loud noise of a man half his age, the doctor said.

I'm reminded of W's preternatural, real-life, shoe-ducking ability...

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