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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsPresident Trump Awards $120M Pneumatic Vacuum Elevator Contract for Air Force One.
President Trump Awards $120M Pneumatic Vacuum Elevator Contract for Air Force One.
March 23, 2018 5:28 PM EDT
Royters News Agency
Staff Writer
President Trump boards Air Force One, leaving Joint-Base Andrews for a weekend trip to his Mar-a-lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida. He traveled solo, from The White House to Marine One to the below-belly stairway located towards the aft of the aircraft, foregoing the traditional use of the ceremonial stairway. Todays flight manifest included his wife, Melania, who was noticeably absentfueling further speculations over recent extra-marital events plaguing the First Family.
President Trump Boarding Air Force One Alone, As His Hair Attempts Escape Too.
President Trump now exceeds former President Obamas eight-year use of Air Force Ones rear stairway, in just fourteen short months. Rumors circulate about his fear of stairs, the recent embarrassment of his quaffed comb over malfunction, and the isolation of leaving the capital alone. News broke today that the president authorized a $120 million contract for telescopic Pneumatic Vacuum Elevators (PVE) for the two Air Force One aircraft. As recent at last month, there was public outcry over the $24 million refrigerator replacement contract on these planes, seen as excessive pork for Boeing. Each PVE, controversially awarded to the Russian firm, Rosneft Lifts, pales that award by magnitudes.
Sample Office PVE unit
While these lifts are exclusively installed in upscale designer homes and offices, the telescopic feature would allow its retraction within the fuselage. Not surprisingly, its use would remedy the aforementioned concerns the president may harbor. This clear plexiglass elevator eliminates bth stairs and wind, while only allowing single person use. The contract, which is pending a full FOI release, is rumored to contain a $2 million mirrored exo-coating that emulates a two-way mirrorpreventing casual observers from viewing inside the unit, while being able to look outside. Lights will encase the exterior, presenting a futuristic science fiction transporter effect.
Sample Residential PVE unit
We will update this story as more details emerge.
President Trump Boarding Air Force One Alone, As His Hair Attempts Escape Too.
President Trump now exceeds former President Obamas eight-year use of Air Force Ones rear stairway, in just fourteen short months. Rumors circulate about his fear of stairs, the recent embarrassment of his quaffed comb over malfunction, and the isolation of leaving the capital alone. News broke today that the president authorized a $120 million contract for telescopic Pneumatic Vacuum Elevators (PVE) for the two Air Force One aircraft. As recent at last month, there was public outcry over the $24 million refrigerator replacement contract on these planes, seen as excessive pork for Boeing. Each PVE, controversially awarded to the Russian firm, Rosneft Lifts, pales that award by magnitudes.
Sample Office PVE unit
While these lifts are exclusively installed in upscale designer homes and offices, the telescopic feature would allow its retraction within the fuselage. Not surprisingly, its use would remedy the aforementioned concerns the president may harbor. This clear plexiglass elevator eliminates bth stairs and wind, while only allowing single person use. The contract, which is pending a full FOI release, is rumored to contain a $2 million mirrored exo-coating that emulates a two-way mirrorpreventing casual observers from viewing inside the unit, while being able to look outside. Lights will encase the exterior, presenting a futuristic science fiction transporter effect.
Sample Residential PVE unit
We will update this story as more details emerge.
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President Trump Awards $120M Pneumatic Vacuum Elevator Contract for Air Force One. (Original Post)
TheBlackAdder
Mar 2018
OP
What the fuck my comic book villain president is getting himself a tube to suck him up into planes.
Corvo Bianco
Mar 2018
#8
He'd be more like that kid getting sucked up the tube in that Willy Wonka movie.
TheBlackAdder
Mar 2018
#9
sunonmars
(8,656 posts)1. Use the fucking stairs like a normal person
Submariner
(12,485 posts)2. Low Energy, No Stamina, Weakling, Soft Little Office Hands
Howz about a driverless golf cart at Mar A Shithole that has a stuck accelerator that drives him into the water hazard at the Par 4 5th hole.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)3. Note at the end..."parody post"
Royters?
Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)
GReedDiamond This message was self-deleted by its author.
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)5. Royters is much better than Associated Punks
ornotna
(10,763 posts)6. If President Obama did this
The freepers would shit diamonds.
(parody reply) Or not?
Oneironaut
(5,462 posts)7. Believed it for a second. That would be a hilarious image.
Corvo Bianco
(1,148 posts)8. What the fuck my comic book villain president is getting himself a tube to suck him up into planes.
I hope this is a joke and stays a joke.
TheBlackAdder
(28,076 posts)9. He'd be more like that kid getting sucked up the tube in that Willy Wonka movie.
eleny
(46,166 posts)10. Royters
TheBlackAdder
(28,076 posts)12. Definitely "Real News"
jazzcat23
(176 posts)11. Where are those deficit hawks
who constantly complain about govt spending? Oh, forgot, they are the govt.